The instructors ran us ragged for eight hours straight, changing shifts halfway through. Four men hand ringed the bell before the night was over. Once realization set in that the instructors weren’t going to let up, that this torture was only the beginning, the men who were not committed bailed.

But I remained.

We were finally dismissed to our barracks rooms. I had been lucky enough to live alone since I was the only woman left. The rest of the men went to the chow hall and hit the showers.

But I had to find Erik.

BUD/S candidates were allowed to leave the base. Some of the married ones even lived in town with their wives and kids.

I flashed my ID and walked off base. Seven months ago, I had only been allowed on base with Erik. Now, I had my own ID card.

Though my calves burned, I ran across the beach. Straight to Erik’s condo.

I pressed the elevator and exited on his floor, remembering the first night he brought me here after we had made love in the ocean.

I stood in front of his door, working up the urge to knock. I’d finally raised my fist, but the door flew open before I could make contact.

Erik stood there, his hair wet, his shirt off, in nothing but a towel.

His body looked even more ripped than I had remembered. How was that even possible? His skin was tanner; his muscles were bigger; his abs were more defined.

Fuck, was he trying to torture me?

His fresh woodsy scent drove me wild, and I couldn’t help but stare at his happy trail that led to his beautiful cock. I wanted to pounce on him like a feral cat, suck him off, make him need me, show him how much I loved him.

His eyes scanned the hallway, then without a word, he grasped my arm and pulled me inside.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Aria? You can’t come to my place. I’m your fucking instructor. You got that? Get the fuck out of here.”

“No, please.” I pleaded. “Just give me five minutes.”

“Five minutes? No. You don’t get to talk, woman. I’m in control. I’m in charge. You fucking used me, dammit. You used me to get an edge in training. How dare you show up here tonight. Who the hell do you think you are? You ruined my fucking life. I wish I never met you.”

His words hurt worse than the four hundred pushups he had inflicted on me earlier.

“How did I ruin your life?”

He grabbed his phone and thrust it into my hand. “This. Have you seen this?”

One look at the screen and guilt consumed me. There was a picture of Erik and me in the pool at the Del staring at each other. There was another picture of us dressed as Wonder Woman and Aquaman at Isa’s party. And a final picture of us on the “O” course, with him helping me with Dirty Name.

“Oh my god. No, Erik. I had no idea. None. You have to believe me! Who took these pictures? Who sold them? I know it wasn’t Isa, she would never—”

A vein popped on his neck. “I don’t give a fuck who took the pictures. They are out there. You have ruined my career.”

“I’m so sorry, Erik. I never wanted to hurt you. I tried to tell you, but I was scared about how you would react.”

He pointed his finger at me. “Did you ever think that when this got out, you would ruin my career? No, you didn’t. You are too self-absorbed to think of anyone but yourself.”

A lump grew in my throat. “That’s not fair. There is no way I could predict this happening.”

“`I don’t care if you are the first woman in BUD/S. You will fail. I’ll make fucking sure of it. You will ring that fucking bell. Not because you’re not strong enough, not because you lack endurance, but because you’re a liar. You’re deceptive. You have no integrity. You don’t have what it takes to be a SEAL. Now get the fuck out of here.”

I dropped to my knees. “Please. I’m begging you. Just please listen to me. I love you.”

His eyes shot daggers at me. “Love me? You love me? You don’t have a fucking clue what love is. I would’ve done anything for you. Anything. Do you know that? I was crazy about you. I saw a future with us. But you used me. You ghosted me. And now you show up here and make me the laughing stock of the Teams. You make me sick. I can never be with you. Never.”

I placed my hand on his waist, but he pushed it off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice. You told me you didn’t think women should be SEALs. You wouldn’t have supported me. I didn’t want to date you. In fact, I told you no when you asked me out because I didn’t want any complications. But you asked me out in front of your family. And you wore me down, so I figured why not? What could it hurt?”

“Gee thanks,” he snarled.

I withered under his icy glare but forced myself to go on. “I didn’t want to fall for you. I fought it every step of the way. But I couldn’t help it.” I sniffled, and a tear rolled down my cheek. “I fell in love with you, Erik. I still love you—nothing has changed for me. Time has stood still for my heart. When I realized that I loved you, I knew I should’ve told you about joining, but I couldn’t. I was scared to death. I’ve never been scared of anything in my life. You have to believe me.”

For a second, I thought I had gained an ounce of understanding. He pursed his lips and focused on my face.

“I don’t believe you. I don’t want anything to do with you. You are my student. And you won’t be for long. You will ring that goddam bell, no matter what the brass tells me. The sooner, the better. Goodbye, Aria.”

He grabbed my wrist, pushed me out of his place, and slammed the door.

I couldn’t move. The emotion I’d been holding in for months poured out. The sobs came heavy, my chest contracting.

He had been right. I should’ve been honest. But I had been so scared because of his strong feelings about women in combat. Couldn’t he realize that? How could I have ever told him the truth?

I pulled myself together and left the building.

Erik was right about my deception.

But he was wrong about one thing.

I would never ring that bell.