I could still taste Sara on my lips when I awoke the next morning. Images of me fucking her from behind were stored in my head for later use. The way I’d impaled her deeply, until she came all over my cock. She was truly breathtakingly beautiful inside and fine as hell outside. She seemed solid. Non crazy. Sweet. Dared I say, loving. But it didn’t matter. I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. Could still dream about her though. Replay our conversations. Memorize every image from last night for when I was alone. And use her calendar photo as my spank shot. Remember the time she had been mine, if only briefly.

I rolled out of my cot, put on my clothes, and prepared to say good-bye to Sara and her squad. If I got stuck on watch duty after today, I might not see her again. That bothered me.

I found Pat waiting outside my room. Damn early riser. Then again, he wasn’t the one that slept like a baby because his world was rocked last night. That pleasure went to yours truly. “How was your night, bro?”

“A gentleman never tells,” I joked. “Let’s just say I’m surprised that bunker is still standing.”

His lips twisted. “Fuck you, man. I miss Annie so much. She saw a picture online of the cheerleaders on the tour and now she’s stressing that I’m gonna cheat on her. I know she’s pregnant and hormonal, but nothing I say seems to reassure her.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, man, that’s rough. But Annie’s a strong woman. And I know you’d never cheat. Tell her I’d put a bullet in your brain first.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t cheat on her. I love her, but being married while in the Teams sucks. I miss her and Gabriel. I hope our deployment doesn’t get extended because I’ll miss our baby’s birth.”

My chest tightened. I felt for the dude. It sucked. But I selfishly felt reassured because his words proved my point that being married or involved while on the Teams was nonstop headaches and heartbreak. Seeing Pat miss Annie confirmed my belief a relationship while I was in the Teams wasn’t right for me. The guilt would eat me alive. And then there was the other downer to relationships. Poor Vic’s whore of an ex-wife cheated on him during one of our first deployments. Tore that boy up. No, thank you. I was good. When I settled down, I wanted to be around. Have a family, be there for my kids, coach my son’s football team, take my daughter to ballet lessons. Pat and Vic barely saw their kids. It sucked big time. I didn’t want to live like that. My father was my hero, an excellent role model, a strong man, a great husband, and a loving father. And until I could be that good of a man, I would remain single. The bar was set high, and I wasn’t about to half ass it. I never half assed anything.

Vic emerged from outside and the three of us headed over to the motor T area. The other guys on my Team were used to seeing us three together, well, practically all the time. Didn’t mean I appreciated the other men any less. We had already been briefed before the convoy was due to leave. Safety, plans for if there were any interruptions, who was in the lead vehicle. All the normal things that needed to be discussed between the leaders of the convoy and the soldiers. Which was communicated with my SEAL Team as we were the quick reaction force, in case there were any problems. The convoy crew had done their pre-combat checks. Made sure everyone had weapons, enough ammo, and the vehicles were topped off. The civilians had been briefed as well. If anything were to happen, they were to stay in the vehicles until help had arrived.

We stared ahead. There were ten two-ton vehicles in the convoy to transport the USO performers. Eight up-armored Humvees and two troop carriers. Sara would be in the third vehicle.

The girls were lined up two by two next to the first troop carrier like they were going on an ark, with the chaperone in the back. The cheerleaders would be in one of the troop carriers, and the players in the other. Two soldiers-only Humvees led the pack.

We decided to assist the soldiers in helping the girls climb on board. Sara noticed me and pushed to the front of the line past a few girls and pointedly gave me a somber look. Immediately, my chest constricted. There went the guilt I feared. Feelings I didn’t know what the fuck to do with hit me like a ton of bricks. My hand lingered on her back for far too long as I helped her into the assigned vehicle. She pressed her body into my chest, the stance a bittersweet memory. Her noticeable breaths coming out choppy, and she imprinted her scent on me. Which only caused my own uneven breaths.

What the hell was going on? I’d see her tomorrow night. Why was it so hard to let her go?

She didn’t look back as Vic loaded the last of the girls into the body of the vehicle.

With everyone safely inside, the drivers turned on the ignitions and the vehicles rumbled to life, taking off around the dirt road. Sand flew through the sky, sprinkling on the vehicles as the guys waved them good-bye. My limbs felt heavy, my hands only managing to form clenched fists, almost hanging lifelessly at my sides.

For a moment I had the urge to run after her, my gut uneasy, a haunting fear I would never see her again weighing me down like quicksand.