I savored Kyle’s taste on my lips, desperate for another kiss. He was so fine, looked even hotter than when I’d seen him last. His sleeves rolled up on his cammies revealed his incredible bicep, his pants clung to his strong thighs. He’d sported a full beard that had been absent in the club, making him look even more masculine. Dangerous. Badass.

I was still baffled. What were the odds of him being here? We’d spent one amazing night together. Afterward, he’d asked for my number, but never called. That had stung. Badly. I’d assumed besides unfairly judging me for what we both willingly participated in, maybe he was just such a player and he never intended it to be anything more than a one-night stand.

The name tape on his uniform read: Lawson. Kyle Lawson. Not proud of it, but I had cyber stalked him after our time together. He’d told me he was a football player, and his face did look vaguely familiar. So I had Googled every Kyle who’d ever played professional football, but had come up empty-handed. I knew for sure he didn’t play for San Diego. But now I remembered reading a story a few years back about a football player who had turned down a multi-million dollar contract to join the military. I swore that guy had a different name. Terrence? Trevor? Was that Kyle? Sure sounded like him. Maybe SEALs used fake names? I wanted to look it up now. It wasn’t stalking. It was research. Dammit—the lack of Internet over here in these barracks really killed me. I was suffering serious withdrawal. People nowadays were completely too dependent on electronics, especially smart phones, and I was no exception. I clutched my useless iPhone, which at the moment only acted as a photo album. Our director had mentioned how long these guys’ tours were. I couldn’t imagine living here for seven months—how did these men do it? They had my upmost respect. Finding out the lack of communication these men had made me feel a bit better about never hearing from Kyle. I still couldn’t believe I’d bumped into him, here of all places.

A strong rap at the door startled me. Had he come back so soon? I opened the door, but instead of Kyle standing there, I was greeted with the scowl from my director.

“Hi Denise. I was just about to crash. Do we need to do anything?”

Her eyes leveled me. “No, just a night check to make sure that you’re alone. I saw that SEAL seemed to be awfully friendly with you.”

Damn. Nothing got past her. “Oh, it’s nothing like that. I know him.”

Her lips pursed. “That’s what I was afraid of. Look, Sara, you’re a rookie. Four hundred girls tried out to be on this team and I chose you. Don’t make me regret my decision. The Wildfire organization has strict rules regarding fraternizing with the military men while we are on tour. If you embarrass me, I’ll kick you off the squad. Are we clear?”

She was a buzz killer. “Absolutely. You don’t have to worry. I’m on my best behavior.”

She gave me a condescending nod—as if she read my dirty thoughts about Kyle. “Good night, Sara.” She left the room and slammed the door.

I nervously pulled my hair. It was too risky to hook up with Kyle while I was here. I didn’t want to get kicked off the squad when I’d worked so hard to get here.

But maybe, I could get away with it. Kyle was a SEAL. If anyone could smuggle me out of this room, he could. Their motto was, “We are U.S. Navy SEALs. There’s no need to thank us because we don’t exist. You never saw us. This never happened.” Yeah, if he could extract a hostage, he could definitely pluck a sex-starved cheerleader from a barracks room.

A Navy SEAL. I was almost certain he was the man I’d read about. How many men would give up millions of dollars to join the military? My mind was blown. Was his love for his country so deep? I couldn’t fathom giving up my lifestyle to fight a war. But I guess that’s what it meant to be a SEAL.

My brothers hated SEALs. Die-hard jarheads, my siblings loved God, family, and the Marine Corps. They were always saying how they thought SEALs were a bunch of cocky assholes. And I was supposed to agree. The thing was, I didn’t. At least I didn’t think I did. I knew a great guy whom just so happened to be a SEAL.

Besides, my brothers loved football. Kyle definitely loved it as well. They’d probably get along great. And then it hit me. I was defending him as if what we had was real.

Stop thinking that, Sara. He was a hookup—not a boyfriend. Your family will never meet him. He didn’t even call you.

Still it was hard to be fully upset with him. I knew Kyle was a special man when I’d met him. But I had no idea how amazing he was. This one act of leaving football, something he clearly loved so much, to serve our country showed me there was more to Kyle than just physical strength. Yes, he was a sex god with rock-hard abs and a glinting smile. But more importantly, he was selfless. He fascinated me. He was someone who I wanted to get to know, who I needed to learn what made him tick.

He was someone I could fall in love with.

Sara, stop!

I closed my eyes and forced my mind to calm and return to reality. I could never fall in love with this man and he most definitely wouldn’t fall in love with me. I didn’t always have the smoothest history with men. Except for my brothers, the men I had gotten attached to tended to leave me high and dry, starting with my father. Soon, after weeks went by without a call, I knew I’d almost made the same mistake again. Sure, tonight Kyle had been excited to see me, but that was because I was probably his only hope of getting laid for the remainder of this deployment. I was a sure thing. My oldest brother once told me the second a man met a woman the man decided in that moment if she was going to be a hookup or a girlfriend. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe I was the latter. Kyle saw me as a fling. And that’s all I’d be to him. It wasn’t rocket science.

And honestly, it was better this way. Clear expectations from both sides, with no hope for a future. It was what it was. Kyle wanted hot sex with no ties or drama, and honestly so did I. He would never make me false declarations of love. There was no expectation of him ever staying with me.

And my heart wouldn’t be crushed when he left. So why did it feel like I was giving up my needs just like he’d given up his football career?