JAX
Seeing the man who gave me life was a bigger kick in the gut than I thought it would be. I’ve always told myself he doesn’t matter, and his issues were with my mom rather than me, but last night brought feelings to the surface I never knew existed.
When I found out Savannah had been raised by my dad, so many emotions went through my mind. If he could stick around for a kid he knew wasn’t his, then why couldn’t he do that for me? What was so horrible about me at such a young age? Hearing his vitriolic tirade last night was a shock. Instantly, I knew Savannah had suffered through a difficult upbringing, and that consumed any rational thought.
If it weren’t for Maddox, I think I would’ve packed my bags and left town then and there. He knew I was on edge last night—they all knew—but I couldn’t talk to Savannah. I couldn’t explain to her how inadequate I felt—how sorry I am my father has treated her so badly, and how for a split second, I felt ashamed of myself for our non-existent family ties. As soon as I thought it, I knew there’s nothing wrong about the way I feel for Savannah. There never was, and there never will be. She’s the love of my life, and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve to be in our lives.
Mad sat with me for hours talking about his feelings for his mother, and the fact Bobby never told him about her return to Kingsbury Falls. He doesn’t like sharing personal shit with people—even me—so I knew it was something that had been tearing him up inside for a long time. He and I had such similar experiences early in life, and yet we never thought to take comfort in that with each other. Now we know our situations were caused by the same decision—our parents leaving with each other. It’s a bond deeper than friendship.
When I told him how Jeb’s crass words had the desired effect, cheapening what I have with Savannah, if only for a second, he stepped back into the role of brother and best friend. He’s been good with me dating his sister for a while now, but I know it was a difficult time for him, and although things have been better between us, they weren’t quite what they used to be. Last night, he was the Mad I’ve always known—the one who’s always had my back.
“If you give that asshole the satisfaction of driving a wedge between you and Savannah, then he wins. You can’t let that happen. He doesn’t deserve a second of our time. I wish I didn’t take the bait but fuck… when he mentioned my dad, I just saw red.”
“I get it. Hearing him shit-talk Savannah made me murderous. I’ve been plenty angry in my life, but I’ve never been pushed to the point where I could put a bullet in a man’s chest with no remorse. If I’d had my gun, I would’ve killed him, and that scares the shit out of me.”
“He would’ve deserved it.”
“You struggled with the idea of Savannah and me. Do you think I’m doing something wrong? Was I right when I tried to stay away from her?”
“Fuck no, and if you get any ideas about leaving her now, I’ll beat the crap out of you.”
“I’m not. I just want your honest opinion. Does the entire town think our relationship is morally wrong?”
“No. I never had a problem with the fact you could’ve been step-siblings at one point before you even met. I was dealing with my issues. Becoming a brother at thirty-three was unexpected and navigating the boundaries when she’s dating you is hard. I wanted to do right by her like my daddy would’ve done. She’s young, and I didn’t want her to get hurt… or for her to hurt you anymore than she already had. I saw how cut up you were when she left.”
“Thanks, man.”
“But now, I have zero doubts you two were meant for each other. I couldn’t pick anyone better to love and watch out for her. I know you’ll take care of her, and she’ll do the same for you. I love you, man. I want you to be happy.”
“I love you, too, but let’s never share our feelings like this ever again.”
“Agreed.”
* * *
Savannah has been tentative with me in the days following our confrontation with Jeb. Every morning she insists A.B. check my hand—it was only a little bruised and bloodied—nothing to worry about, but all she does is worry. Jeb was charged with assault, and no amount of money was going to convince the county judge to throw out his case. He fled town the second his bail was posted, and we haven’t heard from him again. Once a coward, always a coward.
Savannah told me about the hardware store, but to honest, I’m glad he’s selling it. I don’t want anything that links me to him. My mom is pissed after running the place for thirty years, but I hired her a good lawyer who should be able to get her more than enough compensation to kiss goodbye to that place. I fronted the lawyer bill on one condition—I don’t have to deal with it, and she never mentions his name to me ever again. I think it’s the first time she’s ever shown anything close to parental concern for me.
Today I want to focus on the future. I’ve been thinking about building a house on the ranch for Savannah and me. I spoke to Mad about it yesterday, and he thought it was a great idea. The hard part is, I want it to be a surprise for Savannah. So, today he and I are heading out to scout a spot with a stunning view and enough privacy to where he won’t be able to see me having wild, naked, outdoor sex with his sister.
“I was thinking maybe the field down by the creek.” I can just imagine laying her bare as the moonlight reflects off the water.
“Great view, but we’d need to be careful about drainage. You don’t want to be too close to the creek if a hurricane blows through here.” He has a point. My objectivity is clouded by the fantasy of forever after with my girl. I didn’t think I’d get the chance at this kind of happiness, and now it’s a reality.
“Good point. We need to be on higher ground.”
“And you need to be out of sight of my house. I don’t want you catching a glimpse of me having hot outdoor sex.”
“I was just thinking the same… never mind… forget I opened my mouth.”
“I fucking hate you sometimes, Jax.” We manage to laugh it off, but sometimes I forget I can’t talk to him about this stuff anymore. I think he’d blow a pupil if he knew some of the stuff his sister asks me to do to her.
“Moving on! What about the top of the south field? It’s high ground, and it still has a view of the creek in the distance. We wouldn’t be overlooking the house, and it’s big enough to build a sizeable home.”
“Sounds good. Let’s head over there and sketch out some rough plans.” We ride the rest of the way joking and trying to figure out how to keep this a secret. Mad won’t be able to hide it from A.B., and she’s terrible at keeping secrets. Rae would tell Savannah everything without meaning to, and Pops could easily take it to his grave. We’ll need his help to get this done in a reasonable amount of time. Between college, the ranch, and the therapy center, I’m going to be hard-pushed to pull this off.
When we find ourselves back at the stables with ideas for the blueprints, I go in search of Savannah eager to spend some time alone with her. We haven’t had much time to talk since the night at the restaurant, but I can tell she’s got the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Hey, darlin’. You got time for a break?” She throws herself into my arms.
“My afternoon is back-to-back appointments, but I needed a hug.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just… can we spend some time together tonight, just you and me? There’s something I need to tell you.” Those words are never good news.
“You’ve got me worried. Should I be worried?”
“No. God, no! Just say you’ll meet me tonight.”
“Of course. Where and when?”
“Seven o’clock at the creek, you know the spot?” She’s just confirmed I picked the perfect spot to build our house.
“Yes. I’ll be there. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“A bottle of wine.” She’s acting mysterious.
“Anything else?”
“Nope! I’ve got it covered.” With a quick kiss, she disappears back into her office. “Love you!”
“I love you more.”
* * *
The sky is pink with purple streaks as the sun begins to set. I can see Savannah in the distance, putting the beauty of nature to shame as she stares out over the water. There are candles all around her and flower petals guiding my path to where she’s waiting patiently.
“Savannah!” I let her know I’m here, and when she turns to smile at me, my heart skips a beat. I am the luckiest son of a bitch that’s ever lived. My walk becomes a run, and it’s not until we’re face to face that I realize—it might be a bad idea to open this sparkling wine anytime soon.
“Hey, cowboy.” I drop the bottle on the plaid blanket underfoot and lift her into my arms twirling her around until her laugh echoes in the warm night air.
“Hey, darlin’. You look gorgeous tonight. This all looks amazing. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble for me.”
“I wanted to. You’re special, and I wanted tonight to be special, too.”
“Have I forgotten something? An occasion I should be making a fuss about?”
“No. Sit, eat, we have plenty of time. Tonight is all about you. Can I get you a drink?”
“I brought the wine, but you looked so damn beautiful down here with the candles and the dress and everything… I don’t think it’s a good idea to open it after I came running to you.” She giggles at me, opening the cooler at her side.
“I figured you’d rather have a beer anyway.” She pops the cap and grabs one for herself. Holding it out, she decides to make a toast. “To whispered words in the land of dreams.” We knock bottlenecks and take a sip, even though I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“Is that some fancy Shakespeare I don’t know.”
“No. It’s the reason I brought you here.”
“Okay, spill. You’re acting all cryptic, and you’ve done all this nice stuff for me. What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything, but I couldn’t decide how to tell you. You were sleeping at the time, or half asleep, I’m not quite sure. You haven’t mentioned it, so I know you don’t remember.”
“Remember what?” I can’t be held responsible for stupid things I say in my sleep, right?
“The other night, after the restaurant…”
“Oh God. What the hell did I say? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it whatever it is.”
“Well, I’m hoping you did mean it.”
“O… kay.”
“Jax… you… proposed to me… again.”
“I did what? I’m so sorry, I know you’re not ready for that.”
“Did you hear what I said? I said I hope you meant it. I gave you an answer that night.” Realization dawns, and I just about jump out of my skin with delight.
“Jax, will you…” I put my hand over her mouth. I want to be the one to ask and remember it. I pull her up onto her feet and drop down onto one knee taking her hands in mine.
“I don’t have the ring with me.” Her eyes well with tears as a bright, beautiful smile spreads across her lips.
“I don’t care.”
“Savannah Adams… Hale, you owned me the second I laid eyes on you. You plagued my dreams even when I didn’t know your name. You saw right through the bravado to the man I always wanted to be. You make me a better man, and if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my days trying to be worthy of the love you show me with every kiss, caress, and beat of your beautiful heart. You are the woman of my dreams, my best friend, and the person I want to grow old with. You’re my forever. Will you marry me?” My entire body is vibrating in anticipation of her answer.
“I love you so much, Jackson. Of course, I’ll marry you!”
She crashes into me tackling me to the ground with a fierce kiss. I want to remember everything about this moment—the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips, and the passion in her soul. She’s intoxicating, and she’s mine.
I’m mesmerized by her every move as she strips off her dress and underwear letting me see every delectable inch of her body in the moonlight. Stepping over the candles, she makes her way down to the water’s edge.
“Do you know when I realized I love you?”
“Tell me, darlin’.” I slowly unbutton my shirt and drop in on the blanket before following her to the creek.
“Take off your pants, Jax.” I do as she asks aroused by her confidence. I stand before her naked and desperate to feel her skin against mine. “Tell me.”
“The night you took me skinny dipping in the pool. I was so afraid to let you look at me. Scared that you wouldn’t think I was beautiful. You were so sweet and understanding. I wanted you to make love to me that night, but I let fear stop me. You have the body of a god and the heart of a warrior. I knew then that I would never feel this way about another man. You’re the one, Jax. It’s always been you.”
We make love under the stars consummating our commitment to each other. She’s never looked more beautiful than she does tonight—naked and unafraid, screaming my name as the water laps against us. Her nipples tighten in the cool breeze as I slowly rock inside her finding my release as she rides the aftershocks of hers.
Tonight is when life begins.