Time slows as I’m led back down the corridor we veered off earlier, and we’re shown past another nurse’s station. My heart thuds forcefully in my chest, every beat driving blood through my cold body. Abe and Kallie flank me, both there to catch me if I fall.

Abe’s presence is strangely comforting, he’s a wall of strength when I feel as though I have none. I glance up at him keeping pace with me, and he tilts his head down to meet my eyes then wraps one large arm around my shoulders, lending me the strength I so desperately need.

I need to be strong for Zak. He needs me now more than ever and I’ll be damned if I let my own emotions stop me from being what he needs. I can only imagine how he feels. I know what it was like to think I was going to lose Kallie, it was the worst day of my life. But this situation is so far from that…he had no time to prepare himself, no warning.

The suit stops outside a quiet room, “Just inside here,” he tells Kallie, she give him a dismissive nod and he leaves.

The door is ajar, but I hesitate to push it open, afraid of what I’ll find on the other side. Abe squeezes my shoulder then releases me. He reaches for the door and at the very last second, I grab his wrist, stopping him. For Zak, I will do anything.

Pressing my cool palm against the heavy wooden door, it swings open with a soft creek. My breath catches in my throat when I find Zak, sitting in an armchair under the window, a petite bundle held close to his wide chest. His big arms make the bundle look tiny. When I catch sight of his tear stained cheeks, my chest constricts, feeling his pain as if it were my own.

He doesn’t notice us standing in the now open doorway. His neck is bent, forehead resting against the much smaller one of the babe in his arms. I choke on a sob, my feet finally becoming unglued as I move to crouch at his side. “Zak,” I whisper, “I’m so, so sorry, baby.” I silently pray he can feel how much I mean the words.

It’s as if I’m not even here. He doesn’t respond or react to my presence at all, lost in his grief. Agony radiates from his body, making my throat swell until I gasp aloud. His head jerks towards me. “Red?” he asks, bewilderment in his bloodshot eyes.

I reach for him, cupping his rough cheek. “I’m sorry,” I say again, smoothing the pad of my thumb under his eye, wiping away the remnant of tears there.

The weight of his head drops into my palm tipping me off balance. “Shit,” I say as I begin to topple, but Abe catches me just before I hit the ground. Though I think the floor would have been a softer landing.

“Thank you,” I murmur, righting myself and returning to Zak’s side. I scan his features, his eyes are dark and hollow, intensifying the ache in my chest. Tears burn my eyes and I try to hold them back. He needs me to be strong, I can’t fall apart now. I clench my teeth so hard they grind together from the pressure, but it works and my tears subside.

Zak offers me his hand and I take it, shuffling closer to his side on my knees. I press a soft kiss to the inside of his rough palm and when I look down at his fingers I startle. “What happened to your hand?” His knuckles are red, some of them busted.

He swallows thickly. “I hit the wall a few times,” he says softly. A single, fat tear leaks from his eye, rolling down his cheek and over his full lips, “She’s gone, Red. Lu’s gone. They couldn’t save her,” his gravelly voice is rough, broken.

I nod, “I know baby, I’m so sorry.” I hold onto his hand with both of mine, pressing it to my chest.

The bundle in his arms fusses and Zak pulls his hand away from me to rock the baby. “Shh,” he coos, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you now. It’s going to be okay, Kadyn.” He presses his lips to the baby’s head and it settles with his attention.

Keeping his eyes on the tiny human in his arms he says, “This is Kadyn Louisa. Lu’s baby girl.”

She’s so beautiful. Big brown doe eyes framed by soft caramel skin blink sluggishly, and my soul yearns for her. Soft black curls rest on her delicate forehead. So many curls…I didn’t know babies were born with this much hair. I admire her beauty as she puckers her little rosebud lips. “She’s amazing,” I tell Zak, and he nods in response.

Abe approaches Zak, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, “She’s a beauty, mate.”

Zak looks up at his friend as if only just realising there are more people in the room.

“What are you doing here?” Zak asks Abe, who shrugs.

Kallie answers for them, “Ellie called, and we came straight away. We’re so incredibly sorry for your loss, Zak. I can’t even begin to imagine…” She steps forward and wraps her arms around him, careful not to squash the baby.

Zak clears his throat, “Uh, I—I don’t know what to say.” He looks back down to little Kadyn. “I didn’t even know she existed,” he tells us. Then his eyes find mine again, regret mingled with his grief. “Red, I think she’s mine.”

My heart stops. At least that’s what it feels like. Then it takes off running, not wanting to be here, trying to escape the confines of my rib cage. I press my hand over it and close my eyes. Losing my balance, I drop to my butt on the floor.

The man I love is holding the most gorgeous baby girl I’ve ever seen, and she isn’t mine. But she very well may be his.

Nausea rolls through me, I scramble to my feet and dash into a small bathroom in the corner of the nursery we’re in. Slamming the door and locking it behind me, I hang my head over the sink, splashing my face with cold water. Sour saliva pools in my mouth as bile rises up my throat.

“Whoa, man, that’s not possible,” Abe’s voice carries through the door, “You and Lulu weren’t like that, bro. Where’s her boyfriend? The gangbanger?”

A different kind of pain sweeps through my body as I listen to Zak tell our friends just how possible it is that Kadyn is his baby. When I’m sure I’ve gained control of my stomach, I turn off the tap and press my back against the door, sliding to the ground where I wrap my arms around my legs and silently cry.