“So, where’s Lulu’s boyfriend? Shouldn’t he know about all this?” Abe asks.

We’re all seated in the nursery assigned to Kadyn, and Abe is still holding her securely in his arms. Her tiny lips pucker, then she squirms letting out a little cry. I’m on my feet instantly, ready to take her from him, but he doesn’t hand her over. Instead he adjusts her position and rubs his hand over her back. He’s good with her. I’ll have to remember that.

I sit back down next to Red, curling my arm around her shoulder and tugging her into my side. I need her close. She smiles up at me and presses her hand to my chest, right over my heart. I relax back into the couch.

“I don’t have his number and Lu’s phone was destroyed in the accident. I gave the officer who met me his name so she’s tracking him down,” I tell them.

Abe nods, “Has a paternity test been done yet?”

Raising my brow, I ask, “Why? What’s with the questions?”

He sighs heavily, shifting Kadyn a little before answering, “We need to be ready when the boyfriend comes around wanting to take his baby.”

Tension fills my entire body. No one is taking Kadyn away from me, unless it’s over my dead fucking body. My arm around Red’s shoulder tightens, and she pinches my side. “Shit, sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I apologise.

She shakes her head, stray strands of red hair moving around her face. “It’s okay, just settle down, you can’t be like that around the baby. What if you were holding her right now? It would have been her you squeezed, not me.”

My eyes widen, fuck. I’m going to fuck this up, I know it.

“Just breathe. If we can sort all this out now, it will make it easier when he arrives,” she says. She’s still looking into my eyes, showing she’s on my side.

Nodding, I do my best to pull myself together. “Okay, I’ll talk to the nurse when she comes in with another bottle for her.”

“Good,” Abe says. “Now how are we going to deal with him? I don’t imagine he’s going to be too happy when he learns you were here instead of him this whole time. The guy’s a wanker, but he’s going to be pretty messed up about all this too.”

I hadn’t given Paco a thought since it all went down. He probably does think Kadyn is his. Fuck, why didn’t Lu say anything to me about her? Pressure closes in around my heart again, making it hard to breathe. You’ve left such a mess, Lu.

With my thumb and forefinger, I massage my aching temples. If I were Paco, I’d be pissed—no, furious. We’ve only met twice in the two years he was dating Lu, and neither time did we even pretend to like each other. I understand Lu not wanting to tell him we slept together, but damn it she got pregnant! How could she not tell me?

Red clears her throat at my side. “How do you now Kadyn is yours? I’m not asking to be patronising, I just need to understand.”

My eyes drift to my baby girl—my baby—I still can’t wrap my head around it. “The timing is right. The doctor said Lu had been coming to the free clinic here for her prenatal appointments so they had all her records. I know she could have slept with him around the same time, but I don’t think so. Besides, she looks just like me as a baby.”

Ellie frowns. “I thought you didn’t have any pictures of your childhood?”

Gazing down at Kadyn I can see myself so clearly. Her creamy olive skin, her button nose and pouty lips, she’s a female version of me.

I haven’t talked about my parents with Ellie, it was too much to get into during our conversation last night. “I didn’t go into the foster system until I was almost seven. I had amazing parents who loved me more than anything else in the world,” I tell her, emotions from my past trying to push their way to the surface. But I can’t let them, not right now, it’ll be too much.

“They died in a fire when I was about six. My dad got me out but my mother didn’t follow us, so he went back for her. He never came back. I went to live with my grandmother for a year but she was old and couldn’t take care of me properly, that’s when I was taken from her and put into the system. My grandmother died a few months later, leaving me her photo albums, a few other things of my parents, and her house.

“That’s how I know Kadyn looks exactly like me as a baby. Only pretty.” I attempt a joke, but not even I can muster a smile for it. Too much emotion hangs heavy in the air.

“Okay then,” Kalista breaks the uncomfortable silence that’s fallen over us. “Well that’s one thing settled, now she’s going to need clothes, a bed, toys, bottles—oh and a car seat to take her home in.”

I blink at her. “Wha—I…shit. I haven’t thought about any of that stuff.”

She nods, “Right, well good. I’ve just found a way to make myself useful.” She smiles for the first time since I noticed her presence. “I’ll go sort everything out for her arrival home. I’ll need your house keys,” she tells me, holding out an expectant palm.

Again, I just blink at her. Then shuffle in my pockets searching for my keys and coming up empty. “I don’t kn—” I start saying when Red plops my keys into Kalista’s outstretched hand.

Kalista makes quick work of removing my truck key from the fob and returning it to Red. “You’ll need this later,” she says, then turns on her heel striding to the door, “I’ll come back with a bag of essentials as soon as I can, then I’ll get everything else after.” Her fingers wave in the air then she disappears.

“She hates not feeling in control,” Abe says, “Since we walked in here she’s felt useless, she can’t handle it.”

“I can relate,” I mutter just as Kadyn lets out a high-pitched squeal, followed by a husky cry. Abe moves her around again but it doesn’t work this time. He puts her in a new position, but she continues to cry.

Getting up, I take her from him and cradle her in my arms. Her little nose snuffles and her head shakes back and forth. She’s looking for something. Shit, she’s looking for a boob. “Get a nurse, I think she’s hungry,” I tell Abe, but Red is already out the door.

Kadyn continues her search and when she comes up empty, she lets out another cry that pierces my heart. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. Red is getting you a bottle right now, shh…” I coo but she cries louder. I try rocking her, stroking her back, lifting her to sit up over my shoulder, none of it has any effect.

Then Abe takes her back, “Here,” he says, cradling her the way I had been, then sticks the tip of his pinkie finger in her mouth. It works. Kadyn sucks on it contentedly until Red returns with a nurse and a bottle.

The nurse’s face puckers in a revolted frown. “Don’t do that, your hands are filthy,” she tells Abe off as she takes Kadyn from him and passes her to me. “You see this little valve here?” She points to a small thing inside the bottle’s teat, “This needs to face up so it’s pointing to her nose, alright?”

“Okay,” taking the bottle from her, I bring it to Kadyn’s tiny little mouth and she latches onto it straight away, sucking hard. Pride wells inside my chest as she nails her bottle like a champ. It’s already half way gone.

“You need to take it away from her and burp her,” the nurse interrupts.

“But she’s still hungry.”

She smiles at me. “I know, she can have the rest after she burps. If you don’t burp her regularly during her feed, she will get wind and you don’t want that. It’s quite painful for babies,” she explains.

“Shit,” I mutter, and tug the bottle away from Kadyn who isn’t impressed. “Sorry, baby. I need you to burp first, then you can have it back, deal?” I say, looking her in the eyes. “What now?” I ask the nurse.

The nurse gives me basic instructions on how to properly remove the bottle from Kadyn. Then she shows me a couple of different ways to help her bring up her wind and says I should do it at least three times during her feed.

I do everything I’m told. It only takes a few minutes to get into a good rhythm. I let Kadyn drink for a few minutes, then burp her, before giving her some more. She’s sucking away happily when I remember I need to ask the nurse something. “We’re going to need a paternity test.”

Her blue eyes connect with mine, shock registering in them, “Oh? I thought she was yours?”

I sigh, “She is, but there’s someone else. Lu’s boyfriend Paco probably thinks Kadyn is his,” I explain, hating the look that passes over the nurse’s face. She’s silently judging Lu, I can see it in her eyes. “I’m going to need the results as soon as possible. I’ll pay whatever to have it prioritised.”

She remains professional, “Of course, I’ll grab a swab kit. Will the other uh…man be giving a sample for testing too?”

I shake my head, “No, just Kadyn and me. If I’m not a match, then she’s Paco’s. But I will be her match, I’m sure of it.” She nods and leaves the room while I finish feeding Kadyn her bottle.

When the nurse returns, she holds two swab sticks with lids attached. Lowering the lid of one she holds it out to me. “I’ll just run this over the inside of your cheek, okay?” I nod and open my mouth. She does the same thing to Kadyn who fusses until it’s finished. “All done. I’ll have them sent to the lab immediately. We should have a result for you by tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” I mutter as she leaves the room again, taking the empty bottle with her.

Kadyn has burped four times. I can’t stop smiling down into her pretty little face. I’m so proud, it’s ridiculous. But I feel so much in this moment, I don’t know what to do with it all. I look at Red, whose eyes are glistening with tears. “What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head. “I think my ovaries just exploded,” she sniffles. “Seeing you with her is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. You’re a natural, Zak.”

“Really? Cause I’m terrified I’m going to screw this up,” I confess.

“Nah, man, she’s right. You got this,” Abe confirms. “Who knew? Big bad Zak is an ace with the babies.”

I flip him off and go back to staring at my little girl who’s sleeping soundly now she has a full tummy. A ruckus outside drags my attention away from her. “What’s going on?” I ask Abe. He’s already at the door checking out the hallway.

He closes the door and turns to me, and his face says all I need to know. It’s trouble. “The boyfriend just arrived,” he says and I stand.

There’s no way he’s coming in here, so I’m going out there. But not with Kadyn in my arms. “Red, I need you to take her and stay in here. Don’t come out, whatever you hear.”

She blinks at me, fear in her eyes. “I can’t, I’m awful with babies, I’ll drop her!” her voice trembles as she speaks.

“Yes, you can. Here, sit down,” I move her back to the couch and nudge her shoulder. She plonks down and stares up at me. “I need you to look after her for me,” I look deep into her eyes, then gently place Kadyn against her chest until Red wraps her arms around her.

I kiss Red’s temple. “You’re doing great. If I can do it, I know you can.” Then I press my lips against Kadyn’s sweet silken hair, before walking out of the room to face a very pissed off Paco.