Fuck, she’s beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And she’s laying in my bed.

Happiness like I’ve never known before wraps around me, filling me, making me whole for the first time in my life.

“Stay tonight,” I tell her. I’m not really asking, and the gleam in her eyes tells me she knows it.

The sun set while I was between her thighs, and I watch her yawn then stretch her arms out over her head, arching her back like a cat. Speaking of cats, Junie is scratching my closed bedroom door, meowing incessantly. I could lay here staring at Ellie until she falls asleep, but Junie isn’t going to let that happen.

Sitting on the edge of the mattress, I smile down at her. “God, you take my breath away Red,” I sigh. She smiles back at me, not showing an ounce of shame at her near nakedness. I love how comfortable she is in her own skin.

MEOW. Scratch-scratch-scratch.

“Jesus,” I mutter, “I’m coming!”

Ellie snickers, and I slap her exposed thigh playfully.

“I should feed her,” I say, tilting my chin in Junie’s direction, “Speaking of feeding, what do you want for dinner?”

Ellie shrugs, a contented smile curving her full, pink lips.

Pushing to my feet, I refasten my pants as I walk to the door. I can feel Ellie’s eyes watching me as I go, and fuck if I don’t love every second of it. Swinging open the door, Junie is up on her back feet, balancing as she leans forward to peer into my room, wondering why I kicked her out. When she spots Ellie on the bed, she drops back down and curls herself around my ankles, purring.

I scoop her up and she nuzzles into my chest, her purr so loud I can feel the vibrations seeping into me. Scratching behind her ear, I drop a kiss to the top of her little head. “Ready for dinner, baby?” I coo, and she meows in response.

“I don’t know if your relationship with that cat is cute or concerning,” Ellie mutters as I stride down the hall with Junie snuggled in my arms.

I smile at her sass, but say nothing.

Junie is just like me. Nobody wanted her. She was rejected by three foster families before I found her on death row in the shelter. We’re kindred spirits, me and Junie. And I don’t care if my girlfriend thinks it’s weird how much I love my damn cat, she wouldn’t understand—not many of my friends do.

Growing up in the system is hard. No, it’s worse than that. You only have yourself to rely on. Unless you find a friend amongst the other kids, which isn’t always easy when they all have their own shit to deal with. I was one of the lucky ones, in that I found Lulu. Or she found me—I’m not even sure anymore.

I finish up giving Junie fresh water, kibbles, and wet food, then shuffle around the junk draw until I find the Thai Restaurant menu from down the road. Quickly scanning it as the call dials, I order enough for Ellie and I, before returning to my room to find her snuggled in my sheets, snoring softly.

My lips curve as my eyes roam over her petite body in my king size bed. She’s so tiny, but she’s taken up such a huge part of my heart. Falling for her the way I have isn’t something I thought was possible. At one point, I thought I was in love with Lulu, but after meeting Red, I know I had been wrong about Lu.

Lu and I, we are the same, just like me and Junie. She knows me better than anyone else in this world. Our connection is unbreakable. Thinking about her makes me reach for my phone so I can call her, but I left it in the kitchen when I ordered dinner.

I leave Ellie to sleep for now—I’ll wake her when the food arrives. Swiping my phone off the kitchen counter, I hit Lu’s contact and sit on the couch. My knee bounces nervously as I wait for her to answer. Things have been strained between us for months now. We’ve never been at odds for this long before. But I fucked up. I get why she pulled away.

“Hey, you,” her soft voice comes down the line. It calms me. I worry about her constantly, her current boyfriend is not a good dude, he’s a drug runner. Lu may have put space between us, but I still look out for her, as much as I can from a distance.

“How’s it going?” I ask, knowing she won’t tell me even if things have gone to shit between them—not after what happened last time. Running my hand through my hair in frustration, I wait for her answer.

I hear her take a deep breath before speaking, “Good actually, but ah, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Instantly I’m on high alert, “Okay,” I say, trying to keep my tone cool and collected. “Shoot,” I tell her as my free hand clenches and releases over and over.

“Not over the phone. I want to see you, it’s been too long. We’ve got a lot to catch up on.” She sounds fine, like she’s not faking it, and maybe things really are going good for her right now.

Maybe she’s even over what happened between us. We’ve only seen each other once since then, “I’d love that. I miss you, Lu. When and where, honey? I’ll be there.”

Her breathy chuckle comes down the line and I smile, “Let me figure it out. I’ll text you with a place and time later this week, yeah? I just—I need you to be ready to listen okay?”

“Alright,” I tell her, I can do that. “And, Lu…” I pause.

“Yeah, Zee?”

“I really have missed you, honey. Does this mean things can go back to normal now?” I ask the question I’m dying to hear the answer to.

Her swallow is audible through the phone, “Things will be different, I think. Not bad, and not like they have been, just different,” she says. “I had a lot to come to terms with, and shit I had to figure out, but I’m ready to talk about everything now. I gotta go, but I’ll text you, I promise.”

“Okay, love you, Lu, talk soon.” I end the call.

I just about launch off the couch when I see Ellie standing like a statue in the entry to the lounge room, anger etched over her perfect, tear stained face. Getting to my feet I remain silent until I reach her. I lift my hand to take hers, but she snatches it away and takes a step back.

“You lying son of a bitch! How could you? You were supposed to be different!” she screams at me, her pain and anger streaming down her cheeks piercing my heart.

“Fuck, Red,” I ignore her protests and pull her into my arms, “Whatever you think right now, you’re wrong.”

Planting her hands against my chest she pushes back with all her might. “Let me go! You said you love her, Zak! I heard you!”

When I don’t loosen my hold, she begins pounding her fists into my chest, hammering as hard as she can. I feel all of it, her pain, her anguish. I made her feel like this. The knowledge makes me want to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness. But first she needs to understand.

I walk her back until she’s wedged between my body and the wall. “Red, baby, stop!” I demand. She relents, dropping her fists from their assault and wrapping her arms around herself as best she can.

“I have never lied to you. Never.” I start with the first truth she needs to hear. She attempts to argue so I bring my left hand up to cover her mouth and halt her objections.

“Just listen. Then if you still want to castrate me, I’ll let you.” I stare down into her gleaming green eyes, the hurt in them squeezes around my heart like a fist. “Ellie, I told you about my friend Lulu, remember? We grew up in the system together. She’s like my sister, Red.” I wait for my words to sink in, and when she seems to relax, I slowly move my hand away from her mouth and release her altogether.

Ellie remains deathly still. I don’t take my eyes off her face as she processes what I told her. The second her shoulders slump and her head drops, I take her in my arms again. “Shh baby, don’t cry,” I plead.

Her chest heaves with deep intakes of air as she tries to calm herself. A loud knock at the front door startles us both, and I remember I ordered dinner for us. Holding her at arm’s length, I lean in and drop a kiss to the top of her head. “That’s dinner, Red. Go wash your face with some cold water then we can talk about this, yeah?”

Ellie nods, then steps forward, squeezing me in a quick embrace before darting down the hall to the bathroom.

Another knock sounds from the front door and I swipe my hand through my hair. “I’m coming!” I call as I mentally kick myself for allowing Ellie to feel like I could ever cheat on her. Especially after we just moved things forward physically. It’s the last thing she needs, given her history with men.

Swinging the door open with more force than necessary, it ricochet’s off the wall and almost slams shut in the delivery guy’s face again. I snatch it before it can close, and hand him the cash for our meals without a word. He hands over the food and legs it back to his car.

Placing the takeout containers on the coffee table, I pull it closer to the couch then retrieve cutlery from the kitchen as I wait for Ellie.