AXEL

This third wheel shit had been eating at me for months now. As happy as I was for my boys, and goddamn I love those babies, there’s only so much a man can take. I was sick of being the odd man out.

Running my hand through my hair, a frustrated growl left my lips, drawing Gabe’s attention. “Sup, Pretty Boy?”

I rolled my eyes at the nickname. But then again, it did suit me. I was the prettiest out of these fuckers that surround me. “Nothin’ bro. Just tired.”

He waggled his brows, “Been out on the prowl again have we?”

“Nope. It’s just me and my hand these days. Just haven’t been sleepin’ well.” I explained, and it was somewhat true. I hadn’t hooked up in weeks. It was some kind of record for me.

Kai chimed in then, “You and your hand? Whatever, you’re the biggest slut I know. And I watched this fucker—” motioning to Gabe with his chin, “whore himself out for years.”

“Ha-ha.” Sarcasm dripped from my tone and Gabe said nothing to defend his past behaviour, just shrugged his shoulder. At this point, I was more than ready to change the subject before Bray and Dex got a few digs in at my expense too.

However, Dex chose that exact moment to interject, “You’re not lookin’ to settle are you?” His brows raised in what I assume was either shock or jest. It was hard to tell, until a massive shit-eating grin covered his face.

“You can all fuck off now. I got shit to do you know, cases to solve, cheating wankers to catch in the act, that sort of thing. So if you’ll excuse me—” I let my sentence hang as I slid off my bar stool and took a step backwards, but Bray stopped me in my tracks.

“You are, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question, but a very clear statement.

I shrugged, and tried to play it off, “You bastards took all the good ones, and none of them have sisters, so it looks like I’m shit out of luck.” I smirked and this time I left.

Climbing into the driver’s seat, I turned over the engine and cranked the A/C. My head hit the headrest and I closed my eyes. Where the hell am I supposed to meet a decent chick? I’m sure as hell not a church going man, so that’s out. All the chicks I know are happily settled down with the fuckers I call my friends. And the party scene isn’t exactly the place to find the kind of girl who wants more than a quickie, so I’m shit outta luck there.

I briefly considered online dating, but if the guys found out, I’d be as good as dead for all the shit they’d give me. I couldn’t see a way forward, and it was pissing me off.

ASHLYNN

“No Liz, for the last damn time, I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP!” I raised my voice, and I really didn’t like raising my voice. But damn it, Liz wouldn’t let up.

My overtly sexual best friend pouted at me, “But Ashy, I promise he’s super-hot. You’ll love him, or at least you’ll love what he can do with his tongue.” She grinned wickedly at me and I pretended to dry heave.

I closed my eyes and shuddered, “First of all, what makes you think I want his tongue doing anything to me when I already know what it’s done to you? And secondly, he’s not my type.” I shrugged and continued re-shelving books.

“Ugh, you are so square. I don’t know how we even became friends.” She moaned as I carried on with my task, it was her go-to line when I shut down her skanky plans for me.

I ignored her, pushing my glasses back up my nose and checking the reference code on the spine of the next book in my cart. She was still standing there pouting as I walked away from her, my cart in tow. Eventually she snapped out of it and came after me. “You’re such a buzz kill, you know that?”

Rolling my eyes and making a space for the book between the others on the shelf in front of me, I sighed, “Yes Liz, you remind me of it constantly, so how could I possibly forget?”

Liz stomped her booted foot at me, “Damn it Ash, you need to get on with your life. When are you going to stop letting your past control your future?”

I halted at her words, bile rose in my throat as a wave of nausea rolled through me. Squeezing my eyes closed, I clenched my teeth and began counting in my head, trying desperately to gain some control of my thoughts. When that didn’t work, I started counting out loud, and jolted when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist.

“Ash? Ashy, honey, come back to me, back to the here and now. We’re in the library. Your favourite place in the world.” Liz’s pleading voice began to sooth me, bringing me out of my head. “Take a deep breath and you’ll know that smell, focus on that smell. Books, thousands of books.”

I did as she said, my eyes still clamped shut, I took a deep breath in through my nose and savoured the musty smell that could only belong to the well-used and loved pages of a book.

Slowly I opened my eyes taking in my surroundings. Liz’s worried face filled my vision. I gave her a weak smile, “Thanks,” I whispered.

A single tear slid down her cheek, and a humourless laugh left her lips, “I’m sorry, Ashy. I didn’t mean to trigger you.”

My shoulder lifted in a small shrug, “I know you didn’t. It’s impossible to know what will set me off, I know you’d never do that intentionally.”

She wrapped her arms around me and I returned her embrace. “I’ve gotta get back to work, but I don’t want to leave you like this,” she murmured.

Coming out of her arms I pulled my shoulders back, took off my glasses and scrubbed my hands over my face, “I’m good now. Promise.” I shot her a wink and slid my glasses back into place, “Go, I’ll talk to you later.”

Liz’s eyes roamed over my face, examining me closely, “Alright, I believe you. Call me if that changes.” She kissed both my cheeks like the little mafia princess that she was, then left.

Suddenly feeling drained beyond belief, I pushed the returns cart back to the reception desk and told Sammy, the trainee, that she could do the rest of them. Sammy was a quiet little bookworm who had started working with me a couple of months ago. I was glad for her help, especially on days like this.

I’d gotten my panic attacks-slash-flashbacks under control, for the most part anyway. But every so often someone would say something, or be wearing a particular fragrance, and it would set me off. I’d get lost in my own head for an undeterminable amount of time until someone snapped me out of it.

Plonking down in my mega comfy office chair, I removed my glasses then promptly dropped my head to the desk in front of me. I took a deep breath again and closed my eyes. A deep voice from above snapped me out of my little pity party. “Excuse me, can you tell me where the kid’s stuff is?”

My head snapped up and I was met with a shockingly handsome smirk from a man holding a little girl who looked like she couldn’t be much over a year old. I blinked up at him a few times before I answered him, “The children’s area is in the back left corner.” My mouth was suddenly dry and I swallowed hard.

He winked, “Thanks, you can get back to napping now.”

I shook my head, “Oh, no I wasn’t, I mean, I was just—”

He smirked again, and held up his free hand cutting off my stuttered explanation, “I won’t tell anyone.” Then he was gone.

Heat filled my cheeks, I was sure they now matched my flaming red hair. How embarrassing, I dropped my head back down on the desk groaning.

I busied myself until Sammy came back with the empty returns cart. “Did you see the DILF that just came in?” she whispered to me as her eyes darted around the room making sure nobody heard her.

Laughing softly I nodded, “Yeah, he caught me taking a breather, but it looked like I was sleeping on the job.” My cheeks heated again, stupid pale Irish skin, it made hiding my feelings impossible.

Sammy snickered, “You should see him with those little girls, it’s so hot. I mean he’s already hot, but throw a few kids in there and swoon.” Her eyes rolled back and she fanned herself with her hand.

I only saw one child, curiosity began to gnaw at me. But I couldn’t give in to it. He had bad boy written all over him. Well more accurately, bad man. My brows drew in, that wasn’t exactly right either, bad boys didn’t come to libraries toting toddlers.

Sammy noticed the look on my face and spoke up, “What’s up, Ash? You look constipated.”

I recoiled instantly, “What?”

“Your face was all scrunched up, like you really had to poop but it just wasn’t happening for you. I’ve got some Metamucil tablets in my glove box, you want—”

My hand flew up cutting her off, “No! I do not have issues with my bowels thank you.” My cheeks were so hot, I could just imagine how red I was. I shook my head, how embarrassing. “I’m going to go pick the book for Story Corner this afternoon, okay?” I didn’t wait for her to respond, I snatched my glasses back up and slid them up my nose then walked away as quickly as possible.

Jesus, do I always look constipated when I’m thinking? God I hope not.

When I walked around the corner into the children’s area I saw him sitting on the floor, legs crossed, back against the large built in couch that wrapped around the curve of the room. He had not one, not two, but three stunning little girls sitting in his lap.

He had a story in this hands and he was reading aloud to the girls. His voice was animated and he changed the tone when pretending to be a different character. I did exactly what Sammy predicted, I swooned. My body relaxed and my heart melted at the sight before me. His wife or girlfriend or whatever, was one lucky woman.

One of the little girls noticed me then, standing in the corner just listening to his smooth voice. “You like stowees too?” she asked me.

His head snapped up, his dark eyes fixing on my face, and my damn cheeks heated again. I licked my lips, and shifted my eyes back to the girl, “I do.” I told her.

She smiled sweetly, “Us too. Axsol is good at stowees. You want to have stowees wif us?” she blinked up at me, innocence shining in her clear blue eyes.

“I’d love to honey, but I’m actually looking for a story to read for Story Corner this afternoon. Thank you for offering though.” I turned my back on them and crouched down pretending to search the shelf behind me for an appropriate story.

A small hand ran through my hair and I jumped at the unexpected contact. The same little girl was looking at my hair with wonder in her eyes, “Oh, hello again,” I said.

Her little face scrunched up, “I not Gwacie, I Tessie.”

My eyes flicked back over to the girls sitting with mystery man, and the first girl was back sitting on his lap. Then it clicked. Twins. When I looked back up, my gaze met his, and I was momentarily struck motionless. He was staring straight into me, not at me, but into me. Then he spoke to the girl with her chubby hand wrapped in my long hair, “Tessie, come back here, baby. Leave the lady alone.”

Tessie shot him a glare, and promptly ignored him, turning her attention back to me and my hair. “You pwitty.” She said as she tilted her head to the side, her crystal clear blue eyes taking in my face.

I looked at her, then back to him briefly before saying, “Thank you honey, but I think your daddy wants you to go back and listen to your story now.”

Her little button nose scrunched up and her brows furrowed, “Yuck. Axsol not my daddy.”

I laughed, “Oh, I’m sorry.” I brushed her cheek with the back of my knuckles, her skin was so soft and smooth, “All the same sweetie, he wants you to go listen to your story.”

She heaved a dramatic sigh, “O’tay,” she murmured then trudged back over to him and plonked herself on his free knee. But her eyes didn’t leave me. I smiled at her, she was gorgeous, and a funny little thing too. I loved children, the way they see the world is just plain beautiful.

He cleared his throat, “I’m Axel, and these are my nieces, Tessie, Anna, and Gracie.”

Oh, his nieces, not his daughters. I licked my lips, “Umm, they’re beautiful. She really wasn’t bothering me. She can help me pick a book if she wants, I don’t mind.”

Axel raised a brow when Tessie suddenly jumped up and scurried back over to me. “Where’s the loyalty?” he muttered.

I looked down to hide my smile. He seemed genuinely offended by her abandonment. Tessie ran her hand through my hair again and began playing with the strands that hung down my back. She sighed contentedly, “So pwitty.”

Smoothing my hand over her tiny blonde ponytail I told her, “I like your hair too.”

She beamed back at me and nodded, “Yep, I pwitty too. Like Mummy.” I snickered at her reply, then went back to looking at the shelf for a book, but I couldn’t concentrate. I could feel his eyes on me and when I glanced back over my shoulder, he smiled at me. My cheeks flamed when he didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t staring at me.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

I didn’t answer, I just gave him a blank look, because really, why does he need to know my name? I don’t tell strangers my name, and even though he was the hottest man I had ever laid eyes on, he was still a stranger.

Tessie squealed then, stealing my focus, “My fabwit!” She was clutching a nursery rhyme book in her tiny hands.

“Can I see?” I asked and she handed me the book, “Oh, I like this one too. Do you think I should read this one for Story Corner today?” She nodded enthusiastically, her little ponytail bobbing up and down. “Would you like to stay for it?” I glanced at my watch, “It starts in about twenty minutes, the other kids will be arriving soon.”

Her eyes widened, then she swung her head back around towards Axel, “Pweeese, Axsol!!!!”

The two in his lap started clapping, and he rolled his eyes before narrowing them at me. I balked, what did I do?

“Why go to the trouble of making sure I stick around if you’re not going to even tell me your name?”

My jaw dropped, “I, wha?” He’s crazy. “I wasn’t trying to make you stay.”

He raised a single brow, “Really? Why’d you ask Tessie if she wanted to stay then?”

I didn’t even have to think about it, “Because she’s adorable.”

“We’re a package deal. You get that right? If she stays, I stay.”

I started feeling defensive, he was baiting me, and I didn’t appreciate it. “I’m not stupid, I realise that. But I didn’t give you a thought when I offered for her to stay for Story Corner.” I almost sneered.

His grin spread across his gorgeous face, “Right, that’s why your cheeks turn pink every time you glance my way.”

Hmph, pompous arsehole. “I wasn’t looking at you, I was looking at the children. I should have known you couldn’t possibly be their father, they’re much too adorable to be yours.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.

“Pl-ease,” he rolled his eyes. “I could totally be their baby daddy.”

I frowned at his choice of words. And he suddenly realised just how it sounded, “Fuck, no, that’s not what I meant.”

Tessie’s other half gasped and whacked his chest, “Dat’s bad word!” she exclaimed then held her palm out to him. He grumbled something under his breath and shuffled around fishing a gold coin out of his pocket and placed it in her upturned palm. Her fingers wrapped around the coin and she grinned at her sister, who was still plastered by my side.

Axel cleared his throat and tried again, “What I meant to say is that I could definitely be their dad. I would make beautiful babies.”

Ain’t that the truth, I thought to myself, but kept silent. By this time a couple of other parents had begun trickling into the area with their children. I stood up straight and looked down to Tessie, “Would you like to sit with me while I read today?”

“Yes, pweese.” She reached up taking my hand and walking with me to the patchwork armchair and climbed up into my lap when I sat. I sent Axel a triumphant look, then opened the book and began to read.

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