Chapter Five
A faint gray light peaked around the edge of the curtains. Leather and smoke filled my world. A sweet warmth encased me in heaven and my arm was draped over Nick.
Oh my God. I was wrapped around Nick Parsons like a python with its next meal.
Oh my God.
Please don’t wake up, I thought as I froze, afraid to move.
How? No, this couldn’t be happening. He would wake up and think I was like a hundred other girls who couldn’t keep their hands off of him.
Please don’t wake up, I silently begged.
“Morning Cupcake,” he said with a little laugh, as he pressed his arm over mine, trapping it in place against his hard chest.
My world ended. How could I do this? He’d think ... I mean come on.
Holding tightly to my arm, he snuggled down and sighed.
I couldn’t move. Even if my arm had been free, my body refused to obey any instructions.
I was hugging Nick Parsons like my favorite teddy bear and he wasn’t laughing at me. He hadn’t pushed me away and shuddered. He hadn’t even teased me.
He just lay there. Radiating heat and strength like a big warm wolf. The center of my universe.
Deciding that if you couldn’t beat them, it was better to join them. I left my arm in place and closed my eyes. Soaking up the wonderfulness of hugging him.
We had made it through the night, I thought. Made it without doing something we would regret.
Why?
Why hadn’t something happened? The realization that Nick hadn’t tried anything all night was a little disconcerting. He’d been a perfect gentleman. Never so much as a sexual innuendo. No jokes, or roaming hands.
No caresses or stolen kisses. Nothing.
Why?
What was it about me that Nick found it so easily to resist?
I know I gave off that whole good girl vibe. Did he just assume I wouldn’t be interested? That a girl like me didn’t think about things like that?
How little did he know? It had been all I’d thought about since that Green Nova of his had stopped in front of me yesterday afternoon.
Had it really only been since yesterday? It felt like we had been trapped together in this adventure for a half a life time.
Maybe he just didn’t find me attractive. Though, there had been that look in his eyes. I was woman enough to know when a man was attracted. I might be innocent, but I wasn’t oblivious.
Or, was that it? My innocence. Maybe he liked more experienced girls. If that was the case, I was about as far from experienced as a girl could get.
It could be a thousand things, Jenny, I thought to myself. You’ll never know why. Just be happy that your virtue was still intact.
Why didn’t I feel happy then?
Why did my body feel weighted down by a heavy sadness? Like I had missed out on something supper important. Something that would never be available again. Lost to forever.
As my mind raced, Nick began to snore.
See, that was my life. I was going through an existential crisis and he was snoring. So typical.
Deciding that I didn’t want to pull my arm from his grasp less he wake up, I snuggled in behind him, and l slipped into a heavenly doze.
Sometime later that morning, the power kicked on and my world returned to semi-normal.
My arm was still folded under his. I was still wrapped around him. It had obviously become my new favorite place in the world.
He stirred and made a move to get out of bed.
I moaned in disappointment and he laughed. That deep throaty laugh of his that made my toes curl.
Did I just moan out loud like that? My mind frantically tried to remember.
Realizing what I had just done, I quickly turned away. Maybe if I snuggled under the blankets he’d think I was upset about losing his warmth instead of missing the feel of his strong body next to mine.
“Merry Christmas, Cupcake,” Nick said, as he pulled on his shirt and made his way to the bathroom.
Christmas? That was right. It was Christmas morning. My family would be gathering down in the living room. Opening presents. Laughing and smiling.
Mom would start a big breakfast while dad was stuffing garbage bags with wrapping paper. The tree would look bare and forlorn.
A soft white blanket would cover the outside world. Keeping everything bad away for at least a little while. Now, it was all about the family. Sharing, being together. Enjoying the fact that you belonged.
My mind went to the boy in the bathroom. Nothing special about Christmas. He and his brother in separate houses. Exchanging gifts when they got around to it.
How sad. How not right. My heart broke for him.
The water in the sink turned off and he stepped out. Tossing his toothbrush into his gym bag.
“Can I borrow your toothpaste?” I asked, as I began to slide out of bed. The night was over. Reality had returned.
“You can borrow my toothbrush if you want,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Um, no. that’s okay,” I said, as I stood up.
Nicks eye jumped to my bare legs, before he could stop himself.
I felt my cheeks grow warm, as I reached and pulled the sweatshirt down. We’d made it through the night. No need to tempt fate now. But, I’ve got to admit, it did my heart good to see the passionate craving in his eyes.
Scurrying, I brushed past him and into the bathroom.
When I came out, I carefully folded his sweatshirt and handed it back to him. It took every part of my self-control not to bring it to my nose and take in one last memory of his leather and smoke aroma.
While in the bathroom, I had fully transformed back into concert Jenny. Black dress, panty hose, brushed hair. Normal.
Nick smiled. “That’s the Jenny Brewster I know.”
My brow creased in confusion.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, my hands automatically going to my hips. How dare he judge me? “I was performing in a concert. I had to wear these clothes.”
Nick laughed. “Those clothes are fine,” he said, holding up his hands, as if he was afraid I was going to bite his head off. “It is just that the normal Jenny is pure, innocent, and sexy as hell. Last night, in that sweatshirt, you were just sexy as hell.”
My heart jumped. That statement would have been so much nicer if he hadn’t cursed. But, as far as compliments go. It was pretty much up there with the best.
Fighting to not blush, and realizing that it had suddenly become impossible to look him in the eye, I went to the window to pull the curtains back.
The outside was covered in white. Nick’s car had about six inches of snow on it. I thought of the handkerchief he had used on that man’s head. The one he normally used to wipe his car down. He’d need a snow blower to get all that snow off.
Nick turned on the weather channel and joined me at the table.
An awkward silence grew between us as we watched the TV. Waiting for word on the pass.
“I wanted to thank you,” I said. Anything to break this silence. “For last night.”
His brow furrowed for a moment.
“For paying for the hotel. For you know, not trying anything.”
He laughed. My heart broke. Was the idea that preposterous?
Nick must have seen the hurt look on my face because he instantly stopped laughing and looked at me with concerned, caring eyes.
“Jenny,” he said, “just so you know. Last night was the hardest night of my life. In more ways than one.”
“Really?” I asked, unable to believe him. What did he mean in more ways than one?
“You’ve got to know that you are one of the sexiest girls I know. You always have been. At least since ninth grade.”
“Really,” I said again. This was so un-real. Why was he saying something like that? “Then why did you never talk to me? I mean, I can’t remember two words between us for the last four years.”
Nick grimaced and shrugged his shoulders. “You were sort of off limits,” he said. “I’m sure that was some of the appeal. That and those long legs of yours.”
I sat there, my mouth hanging open, unable to comprehend what I was hearing. Nick Parsons thought I was sexy. No way, impossible.
He saw my incomprehension and sighed.
“The last thing a girl like you needed was getting messed up with a guy like me.”
“Why?” I asked. I really did need to start learning how to use more than one word in a sentence. But my mind was having problems working correctly. Everything was whirling around like the inside of a tornado.
“You’re a forever type girl,” he said. As if that explained it all. “I don’t do forever. He... Heck, I have trouble doing more than one night. I’m a kind a hook-up type guy. Casual, no promises. No romantic dates, no flowers, no courtship. It’s not my thing.”
It was sad when you think about it. A life of casual. No caring. No getting hurt, I realized as I looked at him again. Keep it easy, never commit, that was Nick.
I wondered about his parents’ divorce. The two brothers pulled apart. The anger he felt towards his mom. Was that part of it? I wondered.
“I understand,” I said, as I nodded my head.
“Besides,” Nick said, “it’s not like we run in the same crowds. Most of the people I meet are at parties.”
“When you say people you meet, you mean girls that you sleep with.” Okay, I can be a little catty when I don’t think things through before talking.
He smirked just a little and nodded. But, if I looked closely, there might have been a bit of red in those cheeks.
“Hey,” he said with a smile. “I slept with you last night. And, I didn’t meet you at a party. Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf.”
Now it was my turn to blush. “We didn’t sleep together. We slept in the same bed. There is a difference.” I said firmly.
He laughed and nodded. “Okay, you’re right, there is a difference. A difference that I am going to kick myself for, for a long time.”
His faraway look let me know what he was thinking and my blush jumped into overdrive.
I looked away unless he see that I was having the same regrets.
“Besides,” Nick said out of nowhere, “you aren’t allowed to date. And, believe me. There isn’t a chance your father would let me within twenty feet of you.”
“I’m allowed to date,” I said, as I studied my hands in my lap. I couldn’t look up at him. What did he think of me? Like I was some kind of nun, cloistered away in a convent?
“Really?” he said. “I thought ... I mean, you’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“How do you know whether I have had a boyfriend or not?”
“Jenny, like I said earlier. You’re one of the prettiest, sweetest, sexiest girls I know. Believe me, I would have known if you had a boyfriend. The guys at school would have talked of nothing else for a week.”
He looked at me, tilting his head to the side and raising an eyebrow.
“Have you?” he asked.
My stomach sank. How had I ever let myself get into this conversation? How had it all been turned around to focus on me?
Biting my lip, I shook my head no.
He nodded, but didn’t say anything. No teasing. No jokes about the hopeless pastor’s daughter. No even, ‘I thought so.’ Just a concerned look that barely managed to not be pity.
Sighing, I turned away. This was so not how I wanted to spend my Christmas morning.
By mutual, unspoken agreement, we turned to watch the TV for a few minutes. The anchor let us know the pass would be open in a couple of hours. The crews had worked through the night so that people could get home to their families.
My insides relaxed when I realized that I would be home that afternoon.
Another part of me tightened up when I thought about the fact that I wouldn’t be hanging out with Nick anymore. He would drop me off, and we would go our separate ways.
We’d pass each other in the hall at school and maybe nod our heads in greeting before moving on.
A sadness washed over me. Why did life have to be like this?
“Hey, I forgot,” Nick said, as he jumped out of his chair and pulled his gym bag to him.
“I know how important Christmas is to you,” he said. “So I got this for you.”
His strong hand slowly pushed a small paper bag towards me.
“For me?” I asked, unable to believe he had done such a thing. The boy never ceased to amaze me.
“It’s not much. They didn’t have a lot to choose from. But, I didn’t want you spending Christmas morning without opening at least one present.”
His eyes watched mine, obviously trying to figure out if I was upset.
I reached into the bag and removed a refrigerator magnet. A red apple, with the words Washington State written across it.
Crass tourist collectable. Cheap and made by the millions. And, the sweetest thing ever.
“It’s to remember this adventure. Like I said, it’s not much. The guy at the...”
My heart melted. Without thinking, I jumped from my chair and threw myself into his arms.
“Thank you,” I said, as I looked up into his eyes. “It is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me.”
He stared down into my eyes. As if he were staring into my soul. Seeing every part of me and liking what he saw. His brow furrowed for a moment, then relaxed as he leaned down and kissed me.
I sank into him. My lips reaching for his.
Kissing Nick Parsons was everything I had always dreamt it would be. It was like being incased in pure happiness. As if the world had become full of wonder and possibilities.
My knees became weak and my heart raced, as I became lost in him.
My hands snaked around his neck as I held on. Afraid he would disappear.
We kissed for half of forever until, at last he broke away and smiled down at me with that silly smirk of his. The smirk I was coming to love.
“So?” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “It’s only a kitchen magnet.”
I blushed, and pulled back when I realized what I had just done. I’d thrown myself at Nick Parsons. Practically begged him to kiss me.
“I didn’t get you anything?” I said, as I looked down at the floor.
“I don’t know,” he said. “That kiss ranks up there as a pretty cool Christmas present.”
My cheeks flashed with warmth and I was positive they were redder than the magnet he gave me.
A sudden thought flashed into my mind.
Pulling away from him, I went to my violin case.
“Here,” I said, as I handed him my instrument’s dusting cloth. “You can use this to dust your car. I know you used your handkerchief helping that man in the pick-up. Every time you dust your car you can think of the girl you slept next to without sleeping with.”
His eyes got very serious for a moment, as a strange look came over him. He stared into my eyes and smiled.
“Thank you, Jenny,” he said, as he examined the cloth then folded it and put it away in his bag. “That was sweet. Why am I not surprised?”
I swore I saw something in his eyes. As if he’d been really touched. Nick Parsons had a sensitive side I realized. Something he worked very hard at to ensure no one ever saw.
That familiar awkward silence came between us again. Prickly and tight. Only this time there was that kiss to take into account. A kiss for the ages. A kiss that reminded me of what I had missed last night and what I would miss in the future.
Biting my lip so that I wouldn’t start crying, I turned away. There was no way I was going to let Nick Parsons see that I had fallen for him.
No way.