Chapter Four
Marla
I’d barely gotten inside the house when the front doorbell rang.
Tank, standing there like some small mountain. Looking as if someone had just killed his favorite dog.
He grimaced when he saw me. Like I was the last thing he wanted to see at the moment. Not a great boost for a girl’s ego.
Nodding his head, he brushed past me without saying a word and headed upstairs to Jason’s room. That was the thing with the guys. They didn’t have to be invited in. they knew they were welcome.
Letting out a heavy sigh at the misery that was my life, I stepped into the kitchen.
“Who was that,” My mom said as she started to pull ingredients from the refrigerator.
“Tank,” I said, “He’s headed up to Jason’s room.”
She nodded as she reached in to take an extra package of noodles from the pantry.
“I need you to finish dinner,” she said. “I’ve got to run back to the Library, Jenna locked herself out of the computer again.”
“Me?” I said with my best whiney voice. “Why doesn’t Jason have to cook dinner?”
My Mom just turned and put both her hands on her hips and slowly shook her head. “Really? You want to feed this family something cooked by Jason?”
I smiled and laughed. When she was right, she was right.
“You know how to do it. You’ve helped me enough times. Little Johnny is down for a nap, but he’ll be up soon, and Michael is over at the Anderson’s, but he knows to be home for dinner. Your dad will be on time. It's spaghetti night, he knows if he isn’t here, there won’t be any left.”
I laughed again. Mom made it all sound so easy. She juggled a job, us kids, and my dad, like a professional.
“Mom?” I asked as I chopped the garlic, “When did you meet daddy?”
I don’t know why I asked, it just sort of bubbled out of me before I could think it through. And if you think about it, it was sort of surprising that I didn’t know their story.
She stopped sorting through her purse for a minute and looked at me. Then laughed.
“It was in school. I wasn’t much older than you, now that I think about it.”
The sudden frown on her face made me wince, I probably shouldn’t have brought the subject up.
She looked off into the distance. “Your aunt Alice and I went to the movies. I didn’t know until we got there that she had arranged it for Charley Jones to be there with a friend.”
She smiled at me, “Your grandfather would have blown a gasket if he had known.”
“Papa was strict?” I asked with disbelief. It was hard to imagine. Papa was a teddy bear, and as his only granddaughter, I got extra privileges. He was the only man in my life who thought I was special.
“Imagine my surprise,” my mother continued, “to find myself pushed off on this strange new boy, John Turner, so my older sister could be with Charley Jones.”
“Were you mad?” I asked.
“More embarrassed at first, but then, your father, he smiled at me.”
She paused for a long moment as she looked off into the distance, I knew she was remembering that first meeting.
“And then?” I said, desperate to hear the rest of the story.
She laughed, “Like I said, he smiled at me. You know your father. How could I stay mad?”
“And that is all it took,” I said with disbelief. “A smile and you two were in love?”
Mom smiled and slowly shook her head, “On no, of course not, that took a little longer. But it wouldn’t have happened without that smile. It changed things somehow. Made us look at each other not as what we were, unexpected blind dates. No, that smile made me realize how special your father was. And what is more. I could see that he saw something special in me.”
I frowned as I tried to work it out in my head. It just didn’t make sense. Two people who didn’t know each other could fall in love in a moment. But two people who had known each other their entire life couldn’t. Or at least, one couldn’t. It just wasn’t fair.
“Don’t forget the salad,” Mom said as she pulled her keys from her purse, “I’ll be back as quick as possible.”
I spent the next few minutes starting the sauce. It was mom’s recipe, and I knew it by heart.
I’d just added the last of the spices when Jason stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen.
“Hey, Tank’s eating with us,” he said as he grabbed a bag of Doritos off the top of the refrigerator.
“I figured that out when I let him into the house. And dinner will be ready in an hour, put those away.”
He looked at me like I was a crazy person just out of some asylum. According to Jason, it was a proven fact that Doritos did not ruin a person’s appetite. But then, I don’t think anything had ever ruined his appetite.
“Hey, I’m going to call Amber and see if she wants to come over. Do we have enough?” he yelled over his shoulder as he started up the stairs.
“Of course,” I yelled back, what a stupid question. One thing mom had taught me was how to stretch a meal. There always seemed to be an extra mouth at the table.
At least we were talking to each other like normal, I thought. The angry outburst at school had been forgotten. Now if I could only forget about the reason for the silly explosion.
Unfortunately, that particular reason was upstairs at this very moment, sharing Doritos with my brother.
I spent the afternoon working on dinner, doing my homework at the dining room table, and getting Johnny up and changed after his nap.
Thankfully, the little guy was a pure pleasure. It seemed as if he had decided to skip his terrible twos and just enjoy the world as it was.
When I put him down in his playpen, he smiled up at me like I was the greatest big sister in the world. It was enough to make my eyes all watery.
By dinner time I was almost feeling normal. That was the thing about my family. There were always too many things going on for any one person to take their problems too seriously.
I thought for sure I was going to be okay until I realized they’d placed Tank next to my chair.
I was bringing the salad bowl to the table when I saw him sitting there like a giant tree stump. My heart lurched for a second. He seemed to fill half the room.
Swallowing hard, I placed the salad on the table and sat down next to him. The tension between us was like a vibrating wall of pure energy. It was enough to make a girl rethink her love for her family. How could they do this? Place me here, next to him.
Jason and Amber were whispering about something. Mom saw and shook her head, but I could see a secret smile behind her eyes. She really liked Amber, thought she was a good influence on Jason. She didn’t put up with his crap and was helping him keep his grades up so he could get into college.
Besides, Amber loved books. That made my mother, the librarian, love her even more.
Tank reached for the garlic bread and then passed the platter to me. Our fingers brushed for just the briefest of seconds. I thought for sure he’d see the electrical shock running up my arm. How couldn’t he be aware of what he was doing to me?
I held my breath as everyone began eating. I had this sudden vision of them all falling over with food poisoning or choking on their food as they desperately tried to get rid of the taste.
The thought of Tank not liking it filled me with pure terror. The boy hadn’t turned down food once in his entire life. The thought of him turning up his nose and pushing his plate away wouldn’t leave my mind. It was like a horror movie, playing over and over inside my head.
“Thanks, Mrs. T,” he said around a mouthful of spaghetti, “It’s very good.”
Mom smiled. “Don’t thank me, Marla prepared dinner tonight.”
He stopped chewing for a second then he nodded sharply and muttered, “Thank you,” to me. I swear it was like pulling teeth.
“If Marla cooked dinner, does that mean I have to do the dishes?” Jason asked with a sour look. Amber elbowed him in the ribs.
“Yes,” my father said as if it was a dumb question. Jason’s shoulders slumped in defeat. My dad smiled at me and gave me a quick wink. “It is good honey, thanks.”
I tried to keep my face from blushing too much. Suddenly, the last thing I wanted was to be the center of attention. Why couldn’t my family just eat their food and shut-up?
Of course, my appetite had disappeared as soon as I saw the seating arrangements. For some reason, the idea of Tank watching me eat filled me with a sickening terror that threatened to stop my heart.
I picked at my food and tried to ignore the wall between us. Why? I wondered. Tank had eaten thousands of meals at our house. He was like a piece of the furniture. Solid, friendly, always there. Now, here he was, inches away, and I was having a hard time thinking straight.
I caught a brief smell of soap, leather, and Tank. The subtle smell filled me. Every crease of my soul seemed to reach out and hold on to it. Closing my eyes, I let the scent wash over me, knowing I would never forget it.
My father chose that moment to interrupt my drifting thoughts and bring me back to reality.
“So Marla,” he asked, “Anything interesting happen at school today. Any boys, Jason and I need to be worrying about?”
My stomach jumped into my throat as I glanced at Tank. He’d stopped eating for a moment, his fork halfway between his plate and his mouth.
The tips of his ears were turning bright red, and I knew he was thinking of our run in. Thanks, Dad, I’d almost been able to put my idiocy out of my mind.
“John!” my mother said with a quick shake of her head.
My dad looked back at her with a confused frown then shrugged his shoulders and resumed eating.
“No,” I said, “Just another day.”
After that, the rest of the meal went by in a numbed blur. People talking, laughing, teasing. But it didn’t really register with me. All I could think about was that awkward wall between Tank and me.
I wondered if it would ever go away. Then I wondered if he felt it. Probably not, I realized. To him, I was the little sister who had yelled at him earlier. No big deal.
The realization that he wasn’t even aware of how awkward things were between us sent a bolt of pure pain through me.
I just couldn’t handle this anymore.
Tossing my napkin on my plate, I said, “May I be excused, I’ve got a bunch of homework I need to finish.”
Before anyone could say anything, I slid my chair back, grabbed my plate and got the hell out of there. My world might be screwed up. But that didn’t mean I had to sit there and enjoy it.
After I had cleaned my plate into the trash, I went out through the laundry room just so I wouldn’t have to walk back by the dining room. The last thing I wanted was questioning looks from my mother or a worried frown from Amber.
The only thing worse would have been seeing Tank enjoying himself in my absence.
God, I had it bad. There was no longer any doubt in my mind. I was a full on lost cause.
Throwing myself on my bed, I tried to push everything out of my mind. The words I’d screamed at Tank that morning. The way I became a jittery fool whenever I was in the same room with him.
No wonder he couldn’t like me. I must seem like such a child to him. A ridiculous little girl with a silly crush.
My insides turned over for the hundredth time as I fought to stop from crying.
Somehow or other, I fell asleep for a few hours which meant my night was going to be filled with tossing and turning. At least that was the explanation I was going to use.
When I woke from my nap, I changed into my favorite silk pajama shorts and a tank top. I didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing me in them. Tank and Jason would hang out in the basement playing Madden until Tank headed home.
The house was quiet, I wondered briefly if everyone was already asleep. Shrugging my shoulders, I turned over and punched my pillow to try and find a comfortable position.
Of course, nothing worked. Instead, I tossed and tumbled half the night into the early hours of the morning. In fact, I’d moved so much my blankets were wrapped around my legs like a giant snake refusing to let me go.
Reaching over, I turned off my alarm before it could go off and headed for the bathroom. The horror that greeted me in the mirror made my squeal.
Frizzy hair, bags under my eyes that made it look like I hadn’t slept in a week and I swear, a pimple threating to show up on my forehead.
Great, just what I needed.
Then, to top it off, I couldn’t find my favorite blouse. The pink one that made me look semi-pretty.
Grumbling under my breath I headed down to the laundry room to see if it was in the folded clothes. Clothes I should have moved upstairs yesterday if I hadn’t been avoiding the whole downstairs situation.
“Mom,” I yelled as I hurried down the stairs, rubbing my eyes. “Have you seen my pink top?”
A gentle cough grabbed my attention.
Tank was sitting at our kitchen table, his mouth open, staring at me like I was a long-lost Yeti.
My stomach dropped to the floor, and my heart stopped beating. NO! This couldn’t be happening. Not now.
His eyes shot down to my bare legs and then quickly looked away as if the mere sight of me was enough to put him off his food.
How was this possible?
“What are you doing here?” I barked.
“Marla,” Mom said sternly as she placed a plate of toast on the table. “Tank’s staying with us for a few days.” Her frown let me know that she wasn’t very pleased with me at the moment. The one thing mom would not tolerate was rudeness.
“But ... but ...” I muttered as I tried to get my mind around the fact that Tank Gunderson was sitting there looking at me like I was some creature from the swamp.
I did what any normal girl would do, I screamed and ran back to my room.
The funny thing is, I swear I could feel Tanks eyes staring at my silk clad butt the entire time.