There comes a time in a girl’s life where she comes to realize that she will never figure it out. That life was just too strange to ever really comprehend. I had reached such a point. Jason Turner was being chased by three girls, and somehow it was my fault that he couldn’t make up his mind.
Come on. Let’s get real.
I spent the next two days after Ruby’s revelations walking around in a cloud of disbelief. I almost asked Marla about it, but bit my tongue and pulled back. No way was I opening that can of worms with his sister.
What if it got back to him somehow? What if he thought I was just another girl chasing after the mighty Jason Turner? My stomach clenched up tighter than my mother’s purse thinking about it. Nope, not happening.
I thought of approaching my mom. But, again no. I didn’t want to see that look of concern or be told to stop worrying. It was only high school. I’d leave in two years and start my real life at Harvard. Mom would never understand. To her, emotional problems were to be swept aside. Buried under work and duties.
Sighing to myself, I sat down at my empty lunch table and pulled out my sketch pad. As always, when I was upset, I turned to my drawing. It was a way for me to get lost. To put the world away and focus on my art.
My hand hovered over the page as I waited for inspiration.
Slowly the pencil began to draw. A line here, a curve there. The pace picked up as a face began to emerge on the page. The charcoal pencil flew across the paper like it had a mind of its own.
Jason. His face with that serious smile.
I swallowed hard, as I studied the drawing. It was him. That firm chin. Those inquisitive eyes. The lips weren’t right, I thought. Something about them I couldn’t get straight. It needed some work, but it was a good start.
“What you drawing?” a strong voice said from behind me.
My heart lurched, as I quickly closed my sketch pad. Why him? Why now?
Turning, I gave him a quick smile, as I secretly prayed that he hadn’t seen the drawing. How could I explain it?
“Nothing,” I said. “Just doodling.”
He nodded and sat down across from me. The boy acted like he owned the world. I guess from his perspective. When it came to school, he did.
My brow narrowed in confusion. What did he want?
Jason saw my confusion and smiled back at me. “I just needed an escape,” he said. “You don’t mind do you?”
An escape? Oh from his pursuers. I turned and looked over my shoulder. Cindy was shooting me daggers. Julie was shooting me Laser beams, and Sheryl looked like she wanted to carve my heart out with a spoon.
I shrugged my shoulders at him and tried to pretend like I didn’t have a care in the world. Inside, I was a churning bowl of anger.
“So,” I said, as I gave him my sternest stare, “I am an escape. It’s nice to know what you really think of me.”
Jason leaned back and threw up his hands in defense. “No, it’s not like that.”
“Oh, then what would you call it.”
He shrugged his shoulders, but remained quiet. He really didn’t have a good explanation.
My heart was racing, as my mind frantically tried to figure out this boy across from me. I had no reference point. At no time in my life had I ever dealt with a person who had it all. Not like Jason. Popular, hot, talented, a happy family. The boy was perfect.
Then, why the sad expression behind those eyes? I wondered.
An awkward silence settled between us.
What did a girl say to the most popular boy in school?
“You weren’t at the game on Friday?” he said with a curious expression. As if the idea of someone missing a Friday night football game was unheard of.
Well, in this town, it probably was unheard of. I shrugged my shoulders this time. Purposely trying to match his previous gesture.
He caught the reference and smiled.
“You know,” I said, “if you’d pick one of them. All your problems would go away.”
“That’s what Nick said,” Jason answered with a small smile.
“Then, why don’t you?”
He shuddered and shook his head. “I don’t want a girlfriend. Not this year. Not now, anyway. I’ve got too many other things to worry about, instead of focusing all my time and energy on someone else.”
“Wow, just a little self-centered.”
“No,” Jason said, shaking his head. “Not really. I just need to focus on my class work. I’ve got to keep my grades up high enough to get into the University of Washington. I know I won’t get a football scholarship. But, if I get admitted, maybe I could make the squad as a walk-on.”
My mind reeled. He really did have a good reason.
“Have you told them that?” I asked. “Your harem?”
“Yeah, but they don’t seem to believe me for some reason. Like I’m trying to play hard to get or something. I honestly believe they can’t imagine some guy not immediately falling in love with them or something.”
“Well then, pick Julie. She’s smart and could help you with your classes.”
He frowned. “It doesn’t seem right. Sort of superficial. Picking a girlfriend because she could help me with my homework.”
I laughed. “I don’t know. Is it any more superficial than picking a girl because of her bra size?”
He smiled and said, “What about girls. Choosing a boyfriend based upon what car he drives or how rich his parents are.”
“Girls don’t do that,” I snapped back and knew how wrong I was as soon as the words left my mouth.
He just tilted his head and gave me a look that let me know what he thought about my naiveté.
“Anyway,” I continued, “you’ve got to pick one. Or, someone else.”
He looked at me for a long moment. As if trying to decipher the inner working of a complex machine.
“What?” I said, as my stomach tumbled. What was he thinking? And, why did it worry me so much?
“I’ve got an idea,” Jason said finally.
He paused for a long moment, as if afraid to present his wondrous new idea.
“Well?” I finally said, breaking the long silence.
“You,” he said. As if that answered everything.
“Me? What about me?”
He smiled that smile of his. The one that could melt a girl’s heart and make her forget what was important in life.
“You, Amber. You are the solution.”
I took a deep breath and fought down the rising panic threatening to explode around me.
“Please be more specific,” I said, as I tried to understand him.
“You should be my girlfriend...”
“Me?” I hissed, as I looked around frantically to see if anyone had heard him. The boy was going to ruin me socially. Even worse than I already was.
“Let me finish,” he said holding up his hand. “It’d only be pretend. A fake girlfriend, boyfriend thing. Just enough to get them off my back.”
Pretend? This could not be happening. This was so not how I had dreamed of my first relationship coming about. The entire public school idea was starting look crazier and crazier every minute.
“So, let me see if I understand correctly,” I said. “You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, so you don’t have to select a girlfriend.”
“Yes, exactly,” he said with a smile.
I shook my head and started to gather my stuff so I could get away from him. The man was seriously deranged.
Jason held out a hand to gently hold me in place. “Hear me out. Please.”
I sighed and sat back down. The least I could do would be to hear his crazy idea.
“It’s perfect,” he said. “It gets them off my back. A month from now they will all have trapped other boys into painful relationships. We can break up. Go our separate ways. Perfect.”
This was so ridiculous. My heart was jumping around like an excited frog.
“Jason, you can’t be serious.”
He looked at me for a long, serious moment. “I am very serious. This is the perfect solution.”
“What’s in it for me?” I asked. Ever the practical person. “What if I was hoping to find someone myself? I can’t exactly do that if I’m supposed to be in a relationship with you.”
“Who?” Jason asked, as he frowned back at me.
I swallowed hard. Of course there wasn’t someone else. But, there was no way I was telling him that.
“It doesn’t matter who.” I said. “It’s the principle of the thing.”
He smiled again and shook his head. “Again, perfect. If you do find someone else. Then, being my girlfriend will make him jealous. Right? Not only that. You’ve got to admit. Being my girlfriend will greatly increase your social status.”
“Jesus,” I said, as I looked up to the ceiling of the cafeteria. “Do you hear yourself? That has to be one of the most conceited things I’ve ever heard.”
He shook his head and said, “No, not really. I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about my social status. A fact that in reality has nothing to do with me as a person and everything to do with how others perceive me. I am just saying, that as my girlfriend, your social status will increase. For one thing, people, meaning the other girls, will stop ignoring you.”
A massive cringe moment passed over me. He had noticed that, had he?
I had to put a stop to this now. Things were getting to that hurtful stage.
“Jason, this is ridiculous. Funny, but ridiculous.”
“No Amber,” he said. “It’s not. It solves both our problems and doesn’t really cost us that much.”
Great, now I was a low-cost item.
“This wouldn’t work anyway. They could tell that it was fake. There is no way they are going to think that you are my boyfriend.”
His eyebrows narrowed in confusion for a moment. “Why not?” he asked. “You’re beautiful, you’re smart. You live next door to me. It’s a natural.”
My stomach froze as the idea slowly began to seep into my soul. Could I do this? Should I do this? I had to admit, the idea of seeing Cindy’s face when she found out was just delicious. What would Ruby think? She’d probably laugh her butt off.
No, this couldn’t happen. So many things could go wrong.
Jason seemed to read my mind. “Listen,” he said, “you can break up with me at the right time. A big public display. Dump me. List all my many shortcomings to the world. Think what that will do for your image.”
“I don’t care about my image,” I said.
“Yeah, right,” he replied with a chuckle.
Was he right? Did I really care what these people thought of me? Then, a sudden thought popped into my mind. This would be a perfect way to learn about the whole relationship thing without actually having to get emotionally involved. I could get my feet wet without having to be dunked into the dating world.
He was staring at me, waiting.
“How would this work?” I asked.
His face lit up like a Christmas tree, as he realized I had stopped shooting the idea down.
“Nothing special. I post something on Facebook. They see us talking. Maybe holding hands. I walk you to your classes. You look at me with adoring puppy eyes. You know, the typical.”
I scoffed at his mention of puppy eyes. Like that was happening. Then, I blanched as my mind flashed back to that first day at school. The couple locked in an embrace. Their hands wandering over each other.
Would he expect that? Would I mind if he did?
“So, no, um ... real physical intimacy.” I said, as my cheeks burst into flame. It was unbelievable that I was having this discussion with Jason Turner.
“No,” he said, as he shook his head. “Of course, not unless you want to.” That silly smirk of his had returned full force.
The conceited jerk. “Get over yourself Jason. I’m doing this for you. Remember.”
He smiled. “Then, you agree?”
I paused for a long moment, then slowly nodded my head.
“But, only pretend. And, only we can know. If anyone finds out, I will ruin your life. I don’t know how, but I will.” The idea of everyone discovering that Jason was only pretending to be my boyfriend filled me with pure terror for some reason. If I examined it, I would have to admit, part of the reason I was agreeing to this charade was because I wanted people to think that a boy like Jason Turner could pick me to be his girlfriend.
Something inside of me was jumping with pure joy and fighting with the other part of me that was terrified. Whatever happens, Amber, I said to myself. It won’t be boring.