Andrei

 

This was a disaster.

I’d watched Faye’s long blonde hair vanish upstairs and all the light seemed to go with her. Head falling into my hands, I groaned. I knew I was being selfish. Like a bratty kid who didn’t want to share his toy, I was losing my temper over the thought of putting Faye into the crossfire of the days ahead. She was already in danger from more than one quarter.

But she was right. There wasn’t a good reason for her not to be there.

Except for the fact that she’s sacrificed more than anyone – even me! It isn’t fair to ask this of her! Not after everything else…

Faye didn’t see it that way, though. She was a Shifter of Anubis, through and through.

God, could I be any more of an idiot when it came to her?

Lifting my head, I shook it and looked up the stairs again. I didn’t think so.

It had baffled me that she hadn’t accosted me first thing this morning about the kiss. I’d spent half the night trying to argue with myself about all the reasons I couldn’t be with her.

Yet in the end, I knew, deep down, it was all in vain. If Faye had brought it up – or as I hoped, greeted me with a kiss – I would have given in immediately.

Briefly, I remembered wondering how Dez could have an impressive resolve when it came to walking right into the arms of the TLO. But one smile from Soraya and he caved.

However, Soraya had been in a similar position and she’d chosen to respect Dez’s wishes. She was far braver and more selfless than I – not fighting with Dez when he wanted to use himself as bait – knowing it was the only plan that would work.

I couldn’t let Faye do that, I thought.

But was that disrespecting her on some level? I searched my conscience.

No, I thought dully. She can do anything. I just don’t want her to. I’m a selfish bastard.

Maybe if I got Roy here, he could persuade her to go to Russia. Never mind how I was going to persuade Roy to do that… He wasn’t going to be happy with me.

Climbing up the stairs, I went to her room, the hours of not acknowledging what happened last night – along with the fight downstairs – dragging me down.

I pounded lightly on her door with the side of my fist. “Faye. Faye, come on, open the door.”

Silence.

Some instinct jumped awake and I twisted the door handle, peering inside. It was empty.

“No!” I swept my eyes around the room before I spotted the open window. The tracks on the roof. She’d grabbed what little gear she needed and gone.

Leaping through it, I shifted and took off after her.

At first, I almost followed the tracks that ran along the roof and then down the wood-line. But I stopped, noting these were way too obvious. Faye was trying to fake me out, damn her.

Backtracking, I swept through the property until I found a set of tracks leading south across a field. By now she had almost a half-hour head start and I ran with all my strength after her. As a tiger, though, I wasn’t built for speed, but strength. Soon, my muscles began to burn with fatigue.

More than once, I stumbled and branches lashed my face. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.

Please, please, let me catch her, I begged in my head over and over.

Three hours later and I hadn’t taken a rest, nor had I caught up to Faye. Panic was starting to set in and I barely noticed how the snow had crusted over my paws and how badly I needed water. All my focus was on her. Getting to her. Stopping her before she did something rash.

The sun was turning the snow blood red as it sank and the temperatures dropped. Far off, I heard the rush of a river, the hiss of the wind picking up and the howl of a coyote. Then my head jerked up and I almost stopped. A crunch of snow ahead.

Faye.

With a burst of speed, I saw her. A gold blur down by the river, pausing to drink. Not bothering to be silent, I rushed down the hill and she turned, surprise in her eyes.

Then Faye shifted back, running towards me with her hands extended.

“Andrei, what are you doing?” she asked, but her voice sounded far away.

I stopped, falling heavily into the snow. Try as I might, I couldn’t get up. My head was spinning and I shook it. Her hands landed on either side of my face.

“What were you thinking?” she asked, kneeling in front of me. “You’re hurt, you’re–”

I didn’t answer her. Darkness rushed up and I slumped into the snow, my head falling into her lap.

 

Cold water hit my face and a snarl emanated from my throat. Blinking open my eyes, I glanced around and saw Faye sitting back, studying me. There was a trace of apprehension on her face. Shifting back, I was about to yell at her when I turned and threw up what little was in my stomach. Between the jet lag and barely eating any breakfast, my stomach was in hell.

A bottle of water was thrust at me. “Drink this, you idiot.”

I sipped at it and got to my feet, eyeing her. “Run and I’ll catch you,” I said hoarsely.

“I’d like to see that,” she said, her eyes flicking over me. “When’s the last time you ate?”

I couldn’t remember – besides nibbling on something this morning and yesterday. But it was more the strain of almost losing her that was taking the worse toll.

“Even if you insist on going to LA, this is not the way to do it, Faye,” I said, before taking a gulp, swishing it around my mouth and spitting it back out. “Come back and let’s talk about this.”

She handed me a ginger chew and I gratefully took it. “Can’t believe you caught me.”

“Of course I did,” I growled. “What did you think – I would let you go? You cannot do this…”

Peeling me another chew out of the package, Faye was quiet as she handed me it. I took it and a modicum of energy returned to me. There were stars appearing in the west and the sun had gone below the horizon. It was freezing out.

“Let’s go home,” I said abruptly as I swallowed it. “Please.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Faye’s body tense and I tackled her down into the snow.

“Andrei!” she shouted and tried to knee me in the groin. “You are not my keeper.”

“I am not letting you sacrifice yourself,” I shouted back.

She shifted and headbutted my chest. In another instant, she’d leaped across the river and I was following her. Weaving through the trees, Faye was fast and lithe. Meanwhile, I was charging after her like a bumbling elephant.

I’ll never catch her this way.

Slinking off to the side, I kept pace with her from afar until she thought she lost me. Faye slowed down, her regal head swiveling around and her eyes glowing in the dusk.

But snow was my element and I easily crept up on her. She’d stopped in a clearing and cocked her head, listening. Some of the tension had left her body. She thought she’d shaken me off.

Exploding out from the trees, I knocked her over and pinned her down. Faye bared her teeth at me and I snarled back. Then she got a paw free and went to swipe at me, claws extended.

Recklessness took over, I shifted back and braced myself. Faye froze, stunned, claws inches from my throat.

In a low, shaking voice, I said, “Go ahead. You better kill me because that’s the only way I’m letting you go. I’m giving you an opening – take it.”

The leopard blinked at me, then shifted back and Faye stared up at me. Her long blonde hair was soaking into the snow, but she didn’t move. Lips parted, she continued to look at me.

Slowly, I leaned back and stood up, then offered Faye a hand. She took it, her brown eyes filled with seriousness, and I pulled her to her feet, then I crushed her against me in my arms. I said nothing as my chest heaved and my eyes closed, my lips on her bright hair.

Faye was motionless in my arms, but slowly the tension eased out of her body and her forehead fell to my shoulder. Arms went around my torso and a sigh of relief escaped me.

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get the words out. I can’t let you go. I can’t.

Instead, I held onto her tighter.

 

Getting back to the house was an ordeal. The snow was too deep for walking, so we shifted and I kept glancing over to check Faye hadn’t taken off. In return, she’d give me a stern and haughty look, as though to say, I was the one whose idea this was.

It was true. Bereft of speech, I’d held onto Faye until she pulled back.

“Let’s go home and get you cleaned up,” she’d said. “And fed.”

I’d nodded and we’d both shifted, trudging the many miles back to the house. By the time we got back, I would have thrown up again if there had been anything left in my stomach.

Faye brought me to the kitchen, cleaned the cuts on my face and hands. Then she ordered me to take a shower and announced she’d make supper.

“You’ll be here when I get out?” I asked, grabbing her wrist before she turned away.

To my surprise, Faye gently shook off my hand and touched my cheek. A fissure of heat went through me and without thinking, I slung an arm around her waist, pressing my face to her shoulder. She let out a surprised noise.

“Please, promise me you won’t try to run again,” I whispered against her warm skin.

“And risk you becoming more of a bloody, freezing, and sweaty mess?” Faye asked lightly, her hand brushing my hair. “I couldn’t do that.”

Nodding, I got up and pressed a savage kiss to her temple. “Thank you.”

With that, I left and went upstairs. A possessive protectiveness had taken over me from the instant I’d seen Faye’s window open and my instincts demanded I stay with her.

Never leave her side, said a voice.

Not if I can help it, I thought grimly in return.