Chapter 15

What a night. Between the match and everything that followed, I all but collapsed with relief when Killian asked if I was ready to return to our suite.

We both remained on edge, he from the adrenaline rush, me from watching him take all those blows. We stepped into the suite holding hands. “Would you like to take a hot bath? It’ll help you unwind,” I offered.

He searched my face. “It’s probably a good idea. I’m still pretty tight.”

I’d cleaned the large tub earlier in case he needed it and set out two pairs of towels as it filled. “You’re joining me?” he asked, sounding surprised.

My fingertips carefully passed over his bruised skin. He’d taken a quick shower following the match, but the medic who’d placed the stitches over his eye warned him against getting the area wet. So Killian hadn’t bathed as well as he would have liked. “I’d like to help you get cleaned up, if that’s okay.”

He lifted my hand away from his face and curled my fingers to brush a kiss over my knuckles. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

The hot water swirled around us as I took my time bathing him. When I finished, I reclined my back against Killian’s chest. His arms, those same arms that had beaten Marsh so brutally hours before, gathered gently around me. “You okay?” he asked, likely for the twentieth time that night.

We’d eaten dinner with his very loud, very excited family and posed for pictures on our way into the five-star restaurant, and on our way out. I spoke when I was spoken to, and tried my best to smile, but it was hard. Mostly I held tight to Killian’s hand, grateful he wasn’t permanently injured yet shaken from what I’d seen him endure.

“I’m fine,” I said again.

“You’ve been so quiet tonight, even more than usual. Just want to make sure you’re not mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Then what’s up?” He kissed my cheek. “I don’t want us to go back to the beginning, when you could barely say two words to me.”

I smoothed my hand over his arms, smiling softly. “You mean like when Lety called to invite you to Sol’s quinceañera and told you I’d love to see you, even though I just about died when she did?”

Killian’s chest rumbled with laughter, causing my small breasts to slap against the water. “I didn’t think that was your idea. I’d hoped it was. But when I tried to talk to you and all you did was blush, I didn’t know whether to kiss you or walk away.”

My palm stopped over the tattoo of the Archangel Michael. “You thought about kissing me that day?”

“Of course I did. It’s something I’d wanted to do for a long time.”

“If I’d realized, I would have let you,” I said quietly. “I just never imagined you cared about me like I needed you to.”

“But I do…maybe more.”

For a moment, I didn’t dare move or breathe. Killian didn’t talk about his feelings much. This was a lot for him. And he seemed ready to say more.

He rubbed his cheek against mine. “There’s a lot I wish I’d done and said sooner, Sofia. It would have brought us here long before this, you know? But it wasn’t like when we were kids. You were quiet and shy back then, but you always managed to talk to me. Things changed as we got older.”

The reminder made me sad. “I know. You grew up without me.”

Killian stilled. “I wish I hadn’t.”

Yeah. Me, too.

Killian adjusted his body, taking me with him so we wouldn’t slide down the angle of the tub. “We never talked about that day,” he said.

Despite the warm water, my muscles tightened. “Which day?”

“Sol’s party.”

At first I thought he meant…I shuddered. Yeah, Sol’s party had been another bad memory, and among the worst days in my family’s history of abuse.

“We hadn’t talked in forever,” Killian said. “And when you wouldn’t say anything to me, I thought for sure whatever we had was gone.”

“I’m sorry. But the more years that passed, the worse everything in my life became. My papi grew meaner and more cruel. Teo left the minute he could. Lety stayed out all hours with her friends. But aside from her and Sol, I didn’t have any friends to escape with.”

He played with the curls piled up high on my head. “So where did you go? I know you weren’t home, because I knocked on your door a few times.”

I angled my head. “You did?”

“Yeah. I’d check on you from time to time, hoping we could talk or something. But you were never there.”

I swiveled my head back around. My mother had never told me, but I supposed she’d wanted me to stay far away from the boys, especially after what had happened and how I’d reacted. I hadn’t planned to tell Killian where I’d gone, but it almost seemed like I needed to then. Especially now that I realized how he’d tried to reach out.

“I’d visit with the neighborhood women and ask them if they would teach me to cook. In exchange I’d make their family dinner and clean up afterward.” My voice lowered. “They’d see my bruises and recognize that I needed a place to hide out. So they welcomed me in, taught me their favorite recipes, and gave me someplace else to be besides my home.” Their kindness had meant a great deal to me, but my obvious desperation and fear only reinforced my “poor Sofia” reputation.

Killian held me closer. “I wish I could have saved you from all that.”

“I don’t think anyone could have…except for my ma, but she was always too weak.”

We sat in silence for a moment longer when a thought occurred to me. “Why did you come back?” I asked.

Killian rubbed his hand over my belly. “What?”

“To Sol’s party. You left when I wouldn’t talk to you. I thought for sure I’d never see you again. What made you come back?”

His muscles hardened beneath me. “Do you remember Kevin Francisco?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember seeing him at the party?”

“I remember his sister, but not him.”

“Well, he was there, too. He called me and told me your father had shown, and that you were in trouble.”

I couldn’t move. For a full minute, I simply froze. “You came back for…me?”

“I was twenty then—a man—with two years of professional MMA experience.” Killian’s voice lowered so deeply, I could barely recognize it. “I wasn’t that scrawny kid who was afraid of your father anymore.”

“You came back for me,” I repeated, barely managing to say the words.

“You were my girl, Sofia. Even then. No way in hell was I going to let him hurt you.”

I took in Killian’s words, recognizing the intensity behind them, and how much he cared for me, even before I found my way into his arms. I’d spent my life living in fear, allowing others to take my blows, rush to my rescue, tend to my injuries, and shield me from harm. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I was better than she was.

I turned around and knelt before Killian, meeting his face so he’d understand the sincerity behind my words. “Killian, I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

His eyes widened with understanding. He tried to push up and out of the tub. I clasped his shoulders, leading him gently back down, begging him with my eyes not to leave me. As he watched, I closed the distance between us and carefully placed my legs on either side of him in a straddle.

My hands spread along his chest and I lowered myself to kiss him. Although he allowed my lips and my tongue to taste his, I could sense him holding back.

He cupped my cheek, breaking our kiss, his chest rising and falling quickly. At first, he didn’t speak; when he did, his voice was barely a rasp. “I know what you’re saying—and what you want to do.”

“So let me.” The tips of my breast tightened. I knew what was coming.

He angled his head away and swore. “If you change your mind…”

“I won’t.”

“Sofia…”

I smiled softly. “Killian, I want to. Will you let me be with you?” He wouldn’t answer me. So I reached for his growing erection.

The water made it easy to play. Killian’s head fell back, the cords of his neck stretching hard enough to snap. “We can stop, whenever you want,” he stammered. “If you change your mind…we can stop.”

My body ached painfully for his. I wouldn’t change my mind and I showed him, the movements of my hand becoming more aggressive with each pass.

I met Killian’s mouth again, my kiss deep. He didn’t deny me. Instead he pinched my nipple and slid his hand down my back and lower, until he reached my folds and inserted his fingers.

The anticipation and our combined efforts to please made us loud. But this time, I wanted him inside me when he finished. I lifted my hips and perched my leg against the edge of the tub. Although I was well familiar with Killian’s size, it intimidated me more then, knowing he’d soon push in. I took a breath, reaching for him, and rubbed his throbbing head against my center.

Killian’s mouth pulled in my nipple, making me gasp while his thumb swirled between my legs. We played and touched until the wait became too much and I lowered my hips.

It took some time for my body to accept his. I tried to be careful, allowing him to stretch me slowly. I stole a glance, worried he was growing impatient, and fearful that I might do something wrong.

Killian’s hands gripped the sides of the tub. His deep blue irises sizzled as he waited for me to take him in. I struggled to lead him inside of me. He knew it, but wouldn’t help me. He wanted me to do it—to be sure that it was my decision alone. So I took my time, permitting his length to slowly advance.

Each small movement allowed him in deeper. I expected pain—it had been so long. I hadn’t expected my eyelids to flutter or the guttural moan of pleasure that escaped from my throat when I finished lowering my hips.

I fell against him, panting hard. He enveloped me with his large body, his breath warm against my moist skin as he kissed his way from my neck to my mouth.

I wasn’t quite sure what to do next. So I clasped Killian’s hands and lowered them to my hips. “Show me how to make love to you,” I pleaded.

He scrunched his eyes, taking a moment before his grip tightened and he did as I asked.

He moved my body forward, dragging me against him and then back to where I’d started. I felt every draw of his skin, every stroke inside of me. “Jesus,” I gasped, clenching his shoulders.

Killian and I gradually increased our speed, unable to get enough of each other. Tears of ecstasy streamed from my eyes. I moved faster, then faster yet, the force of my efforts splashing water in waves against the floor. I whimpered and thrashed, stunned and elated with how good he felt.

He grunted, moaning louder, abandoning my hips to pinch the tips of my breasts. My spine bowed as I came harder than I ever had. The intensity of my orgasm threw me backward, and onto the opposite end of the tub.

Killian fell forward with me, grinding and pounding against my hips. I wasn’t sure how long the orgasm lasted. I only remember my body falling limp and the sense of abandonment I felt when Killian pulled out.

Don’t leave me, I wanted to say.

But he wasn’t leaving.

He lifted me in his arms and stood me gently on the cool marble floor. Using great care, he dried me, passing a towel along my face, down my neck, over my arms, circling my breasts with the soft cloth.

He continued down my legs, kneeling in front of me to press a kiss between my thighs before his tongue took over to play. I stumbled backward from the contact, wanting more of him but unable to keep my balance.

Killian recognized my instability and rose to lean me forward and place my hands against the tub. His breath came in rapid spurts as he spread my legs open and crawled beneath to bury his face against me. I watched him—watched everything he did—until deep lust overtook me and I fell, landing on one knee.

Killian could barely speak. “You okay?”

I nodded, or at least I tried to. I pulled him with me when I stood on unsteady feet, leading him into our room, onto the bed, on top of me. This time, Killian didn’t have to ask. He knew how badly I wanted him. My knees fell to the sides as he made his way in.

Killian and I had waited a long time to make love. We’d spend the remainder of the night making up for lost time.