Chapter 22

“Are you sure this shit’s going to look right, Sofia?” Seamus scratched his thick head of hair, his attention bouncing from the black marble tile floor to the white claw-foot tub and back to the deep burgundy paint I was smearing on the wall so he’d know what to paint it. “What’s wrong with just black and white?”

I put the paint can down. Killian’s brothers had about as much imagination when it came to color as Killian did. “You didn’t like the rust color downstairs when you first saw it, now you do.”

“That’s because it looked orange when I first saw it.” He frowned. “Orange should just be something you eat, you feel me?”

Gracious. “It’ll be fine, Seamus.”

Finn laughed from his spot in the bedroom. The slate blue was coming along nicely. With him and Curran working as fast as they did, the bedroom would be finished by dinner.

I hurried downstairs, passing Wren and Molly as they touched up the walls in the open hallway and then Angus and Declan as they added the final strokes to the foyer. We’d primed all the walls the previous Saturday and painted the kitchen, living room, and dining room the next day. Once we finished today, only the spare bedrooms and bathrooms would be left. But they would have to wait until we returned from Vegas.

I climbed the ladder positioned at the center wall of the open foyer. “What’s that you’re working on?” Declan asked.

My hand moved carefully. The last thing I wanted was to mess up the finer details. “Your family coat of arms.”

“No shit,” Angus said. “Hey, Sofe, do you think you could paint one over my doorway? Molly would like that.”

“I don’t want that over the doorway!” Molly yelled.

“Why not?”

“That’s my dead grandma’s spot. What I want is new paint on the walls. What Sofia did looks nice—I want her to pick the colors and add a little class to our place.”

Angus rolled his eyes. “Aw, hell, here we go. How ’bout it, Sofe? Will you help out your future brother-in-law?”

I almost messed up my artwork. “Um…sure, but it may bother Killian to hear you say that.”

Angus drew his bushy brows tight. “Say what? ‘Hell’? I say that shit all the time.”

Declan laughed. “I think she means you calling her Kill’s future wife.”

Angus seemed confused. “But he’s liked you since before he got pubes.” He lifted his head. “Hey, Wren!”

“What?”

“Hasn’t Kill liked Sofia since before he got pubes?”

“Yeah, why?”

“ ’Cause she’s saying he won’t like me calling her my sister-in law,” Angus told her.

Declan laughed while my face burned hot enough to melt the walls. “That’s not what I said,” I insisted.

“Wait—what?” Molly left her painting to drape her body over the railing. “Kill asked you to marry him?”

“He didn’t say anything—”

Wren tossed her paintbrush in the can and hurried to stand beside Molly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She seemed hurt. “What the hell, Sofe? I thought you and me were tight.”

“We are tight. There’s nothing to tell.”

“Of course there is. This is huge!” Molly said. “Hey, Angus. Maybe we could do a double wedding.”

Angus put down his roller brush. “I don’t want that shit.”

Neither did I.

Everyone spoke at once, ignoring me when I tried telling them that no, Killian and I weren’t engaged. For as loud as they were, no one was listening to anyone. I was begging God to teleport me out of the house when Curran poked his head out of the bedroom. “Kill seriously asked Sofe to marry him?” he asked.

“Yes,” Molly and Wren answered.

I glanced up. “He didn’t ask me anything.”

Everyone ignored me, again. “Finn!” Curran hollered. “Why didn’t you tell me Kill got down on his knee for Sofia?”

“I don’t ask what they do during sex,” Finn shot back defensively. “That’s none of my business and none of yours either, asshole!”

Killian opened the front door then because, well, why not? His white T-shirt clung to his sweat-soaked and ripped body. He’d been pushing his body to the limit for his upcoming fight in Vegas and had gained at least ten pounds of muscle. He finished the bottle of water in his hand. “Hey. Looks good.” He grinned my way. “Hi, princess.”

Before I could finish climbing down, Killian gathered me by the waist, making me squeal. He kissed me and smiled as he lowered me to my feet. “Family coat of arms?” he asked, motioning up.

“Do you like it?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Nice touch.”

Angus abandoned his ladder. He clapped Killian’s shoulder as the rest of the O’Briens clambered down the steps. “Congratulations, little brother. When’s the date?”

My head jerked in his direction. No…no, no, no, no.

“My fight? The thirtieth—I thought you already booked the flights.”

“I mean you and Sofia, numb nuts.”

“She told us youz were getting married,” Seamus explained on his way down.

Killian froze, no longer smiling. I edged away from him when his hands slipped from my waist. “I-I didn’t say that,” I stammered.

Curran glanced around. “Yeah, you did.”

I held my hands out. “I really didn’t.”

“We’re a little young, I think,” Killian said, his tone flat.

For the first time ever, the O’Briens fell completely silent. There was no yelling, no jabs, no nothing. Awkward would have been a welcome feeling. This—the tension mixed with shock and disappointment—was something that rushed out of left field and smacked me hard across the face.

Angus glanced between us. “There’s time,” he offered. “No rush, right? You’re kids—just kids.”

“Right, right, kids, young,” everyone else muttered at once.

The timer from the oven was the only thing that saved me. “I’ll go check on dinner,” I added numbly.

Wren and Molly followed behind me, but not before I heard Declan mutter, “I don’t think she said anything like that, Kill. The rest of us—you know—just assumed that’s where you were headed. She’s a good girl, that Sofia.”

Killian didn’t answer and I didn’t bother to glance up to gauge his reaction. We’d grown so close, and while we were young and hadn’t discussed marriage, there was no doubt I’d spend my life with him if he asked.

Yeah, I’d thought about us and our forever more than once.

It didn’t appear, though, that he’d done the same.

When we sat to eat as a family, it didn’t take long for the conversation to resume full swing. Everyone had something to say. Everyone, except maybe me.

“Did you fill out the application?” Curran pointed at Finn with his fork. “Deadline’s in a month. You want to be considered for the academy in the fall, you need to do that shit quick.”

Finn shrugged. “I’m still thinking about it. Just don’t know if the force is for me.”

Angus shook his head. “Neither was construction.”

Seamus speared more lamb onto his plate. “Neither was carpentry.”

Declan grinned. “Gotta do something with your life, Finnie. You’re almost twenty.”

Finn laughed. “Maybe I’ll be a hotshot DA like you, Declan.”

“Then get your ass back in school,” Declan told him.

Finn spooned some potatoes onto his already heaping plate. “I think I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.”

“Living with me and spending all Grammie’s inheritance?” Wren muttered.

Finn smirked. “You’re just pissed ’cause I was Grammie’s favorite.” When he returned his focus to Killian, his humor dissolved. “I want to be a partner at the MMA gym—a real one. Put me down for fifteen percent of the business.”

Killian straightened. “You serious? That’s a lot of money.”

“Yeah. I am, and I’ve got the bills to prove it.”

Killian turned my way. “What do you think?” he asked me quietly.

I played with the food on my plate. “Your business. Your call.”

Things quieted around the table. Killian, like the rest of his family, had expected me to say more—advise him like I had over the last few months. He placed his hand on my knee. “Babe,” he said, trying to draw more out of me.

When I didn’t respond, he angled around and offered Finn his hand. “You’re on.”

Killian’s family cheered except for Wren. “Whoa, in that case put me down for the other fifteen.” She hooked her thumb to Finn. “I’ll be damned if I let this little bastard be the boss of me.”

Everyone laughed except for me and Killian. I couldn’t bring myself to pretend like nothing was wrong between us. It took all I had not to get up and walk out the front door. I remained quiet during the rest of dinner and cleanup. When nine o’clock came, everyone piled out. I kissed cheeks and said goodbye like a good little hostess, even though I didn’t feel like much of one anymore.

I sat on the steps, waiting for Killian to wrap up his conversation with Finn. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to talk to him, and debated what to do. Did I still belong here with him?

It wasn’t like I expected Killian to propose anytime soon, but his reaction toward marrying me had stung. He shut the door to the foyer and stepped back, his hands on his hips, his eyes scanning the area until they fell on his family’s crest.

“The place looks better than I ever thought it could,” he said. “Even nicer than the plans you showed me.”

I nodded, my attention returning to my lap. “I’m going to head out and see my mother. Check on her, make sure she’s okay. It’s been a while and she’s leaving for Florida in a few days.”

Killian’s voice lowered. “Are you only going to check on her? Or are you planning on staying the night?”

I knew he was frowning even before I stood to face him. “I’m thinking I should stay.”

“For just the night?” I didn’t answer. “Sofia, I don’t want you to. I want you with me.”

I angled my chin toward the staircase. It didn’t seem like that before.

Killian waited for me to say something more. Instead I took a step up, stopping when he reached for my hand. “If you go, you won’t come back, will you?”

I wiped my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, but there I was, doing just that. “I didn’t say anything about marrying you to your family.”

“I know.” His hold loosened slightly. “My family likes you. They’re going to talk. They’re going to say things. I just wasn’t expecting them to say things this soon.”

“And I wasn’t expecting your reaction,” I told him truthfully.

“You don’t think I want to marry you.”

He wasn’t asking me. He was stating what he thought I believed. When I remained silent, he pulled me carefully to him. “Like I said, we’re young,” he told me. “But marrying you is something I’ve thought a lot about.”

My lips parted. “You have?”

He nodded and stroked a lingering tear away from my cheek. Considering I was the one who cried, he appeared devastated. “Then why did you react like you did?” I asked. “And why do you look so sad?”

He watched me for a moment, outwardly torn with what to say. “I’m not the man you think I am. I’ve made mistakes and done things I’ll regret for as long as I live.” He sighed. “Some things can’t be undone, and some things…you can’t forgive.”

I searched his face, trying to understand. For all that he meant to me, how could he think I wouldn’t love him no matter what? “Killian…”

“I want to be the man you deserve.” He held me so gently, I could barely feel his touch. “Will you stay with me, and let me try?”

I stayed. Of course I stayed, losing myself in his embrace, and foolishly ignoring his words.

I found out the hard way that he was right. Some things just can’t be undone.