Chapter 7

I sent my mother a text, letting her know I wasn’t coming home. When the food arrived from Pappy’s, we ate it, then spent the remainder of the night in Killian’s bed. I touched him again, learning his body as best I could with my hands. This time, though, he kept his contact to a minimum.

We fell asleep close to dawn. I woke with his arms around me and someone pounding on the door.

I rubbed my tired eyes as I felt his hold slip from my waist. He padded naked across the room to the window and pulled back the dark curtains. The muscles across his broad shoulders tensed. It was a subtle movement, but I noticed it anyway. “Who is it?”

Killian walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts to yank on. “Your brother.”

I shot out of bed so fast, I almost fell on my face. “Oh, God. Where’s my dress?”

Killian bent to meet my lips. “Shhh. It’s okay. I’ll handle it.”

I clasped his wrist. “Killian, Mateo’s going to be mad—he shouldn’t be, but he will be.”

Killian shrugged. “I know.”

I watched him leave, then scanned the room until I saw my dress folded over the dresser. I stripped out of the T-shirt Killian had given me in time to hear him open the door.

“Hey, Teo. What’s up?”

I was pulling on my dress when Teo answered. “My sister didn’t come home last night.”

“I know. She was with me,” Killian told him.

My bare feet slapped against the wood floor as I dashed into the hall. I stumbled to a stop at the top of the stairs. Killian stood with his body relaxed, his arms crossed. Mateo wasn’t so relaxed. His heavy arms draped against his sides, his hands balling into fists. Oh. Great. He was even angrier than I’d expected.

I lifted my skirt and carefully climbed down. My brother’s jaw tightened and his glare left me and trained back on Killian. “You have to be fucking kidding me,” Teo snapped.

My brother’s tone had me jumping the last two steps. He was an inch shorter and ten pounds lighter than Killian, but he’d spent a year in prison messing up people who’d tried to mess with him. When Teo got out—and before he became a successful mechanic—he made his money as a head bouncer and by bashing skulls in unsanctioned fight clubs. He would fight Killian if he felt he’d wronged me, and knowing that killed me.

Teo and Killian were once more like brothers than friends. They knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths. But then something went wrong. Whatever it was, it tore them apart.

I didn’t want them to fight. It wouldn’t end well for either. But just like Killian was protective of me, so was Mateo. The charges against my rapist were dropped because I was too fragile to stand trial, and because his family came from a lot of money and had the right connections. My brother had refused to let my attacker go unpunished. He’d found him and put him in the ICU for two weeks, only to be sent to prison for his actions.

Killian raised his chin. “It’s not what you think, Teo.”

“Did she spend the night?” Teo shoved his face into Killian’s when he didn’t answer. “Then it’s exactly what I think.”

I pushed my way between them. “Teo, stop.”

Teo ignored me. “You grew up with her—pretending to be my brother and her friend—now she’s here. Nice. Real fucking nice, Kill.”

Killian didn’t budge. “She wants to be here. And I want her here, too. She’s welcome to stay as long as she wants.”

“She’s not one of the whores you’ve been with, Kill—”

“Don’t you think I know that? I would never disrespect Sofia!”

Teo met him with a hard stare. “You saying you’ll protect her, watch her back? Keep her safe from harm?”

Something in Killian’s solid stance dissolved. “I won’t let anything happen to her.”

Teo’s voice stabbed at the air. “Yeah. Heard that one before.”

I glanced between them, unsure what was happening. As tough as Killian was, I could sense Teo’s words chip at Killian’s armor. “He protected me yesterday,” I told Teo.

Teo’s attention returned to me. “What are you talking about?”

“Come outside with me and we’ll talk.” I squeezed Killian’s hand. “Give us a minute, okay?”

Teo allowed me to lead him out, but Killian’s voice momentarily kept him in place. “Teo. Some things need to stay between us, you feel me?”

Teo frowned. “It’s your cross to bear. Not mine.”

I pulled on my brother’s arm, trying to create space between them. “Teo, please.” He locked eyes with Killian, exchanging words that went unsaid before he let me tug him forward again. I shut the door behind us and held on to his hand until we reached the bottom of the steps.

The sun was breaking through the clouds, forcing the start of an impending heat wave. The rising temperature seemed to mimic Teo’s mood. He didn’t seem any happier out here than inside.

My hands swept behind my long skirt, tucking it beneath me so I could sit on the brick steps. Teo chose to stand in front of me with his arms crossed. I kept my voice low. “Someone who knew about my past cornered me in Killian’s office—he didn’t hurt me,” I added quickly when Teo’s anger flared. “Killian attacked him and threw him out of his gym for scaring me.”

“Who was it?”

Teo would pay Trey a visit if I told him. “It doesn’t matter. Like I said, Killian took care of it.” I sighed when Teo remained unimpressed. “Something’s happening between me and Killian.”

“No shit,” Teo said.

I shook my head. “Don’t be like this, Teo. I’ve liked him forever, but you probably knew that.”

“You liked the boy you thought he was—I did, too. But he didn’t grow into the man he should’ve been.”

“And what should he have been?” I asked. Teo shut his mouth. “You’re saying all these things that don’t make sense. Like it’s some kind of riddle I need to solve. If you have something solid to say about Killian—a good reason I shouldn’t be here—then tell me. I don’t like games or these cryptic messages.”

Teo kept his arms crossed, mulling over what to say. “A real man keeps his word. He didn’t keep the promise he made me. You deserve better than that, Sofia.”

I returned to playing with my hands. Something I always did when shame crept its way back in. “Don’t you mean he deserves better than me?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

I rubbed my face. “Killian’s never lied to me, but I’ve lied to him. He’s convinced I’m this innocent little thing.”

Teo’s hard expression softened. “That’s because you are.”

I shook my head. “You know that’s not true. If Killian only knew how I let those men use me like they did…”

He leaned forward. “Those weren’t men. They were horny teens who took what they wanted at the expense of a vulnerable girl.”

I didn’t agree.

“That wasn’t your fault, Sofia,” Teo said when he saw my face crumble.

My palms smacked against the steps when I dropped them from my lap. “Wasn’t it? I put myself in those situations. I allowed myself to be used and mistreated.”

Teo crouched low so he met me square in the face. “You were damaged, Sofi—because of what happened, because of our shitty childhood. Those dumb pricks knew it and took advantage of someone in pain. But you wised up and straightened out. That’s what’s important.”

“It was still wrong, what I did. I knew it then, but I still let it happen.”

Teo straightened. “Our own father told you you deserved what happened to you. That’s enough to fuck anyone up.”

“I can’t blame everything on him. I was still sneaking out and putting myself in those situations.”

“It’s been years.” Teo lowered his head. “We’ve all made mistakes.”

“But you’ve had the opportunity to learn from yours and move on. As much as I’ve tried to forget and move forward, the past keeps coming back and dragging me down—forcing me to remember things I don’t want to.”

“Don’t let it.”

“I don’t think I can help it,” I told him truthfully. When all he did was continue to watch me, I rose and brushed off my skirt. “You said we’ve all made mistakes.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, if Killian has, too, don’t you think he deserves a chance at forgiveness?”

Teo sealed his jaw shut, refusing to answer.

“He’s a good man, Teo,” I insisted. “That guy yesterday who came after me—I wouldn’t have been able to stop him. If you saw how bad Killian messed him up, you’d see that he does care for me, and is willing to throw down to keep me safe.”

Teo straightened to his full height. “Maybe. But there’s more to being a man than that.”

I walked back into Killian’s house after Teo left. He was in the kitchen making breakfast. “Teo gone?”

“Yes. He left to make rounds on all his shops—to make sure his mechanics are doing what they’re supposed to.”

He scrambled the eggs in the frying pan. “What did he have to say?”

I leaned into the counter. “That Ma’s upset. She’s at church, praying for my soul.” And hoping yours gets damned to hell, I obviously didn’t admit out loud.

Killian stopped in the middle of adding grated cheese to the eggs. “You serious?”

I took a piece of bacon off the plate in front of me. “She and Lety have never been close or agreed on much of anything. I was always the dutiful daughter who went to church, lit the candles, said the prayers. As religious as Ma is, I think she was still hanging on to hope that I’d become a nun.”

“Shit. Well, I think I ruined those odds last night.”

I stared down at my plate to hide my blush. “Ma felt God saved her—well, us. I think she believes we’re only still alive because of Him. I can understand her reasoning, seeing how badly the man she chose treated us.”

Killian heaped more bacon onto the plate. “Is she finally admitting that it was a bad decision? Staying with Carlos, I mean.”

It was hard to explain my mother’s actions and easy for others to put the blame on her. I tried the best I could, defending her like always, but mostly thankful that our nightmare with my father was finally over. “She’ll never speak badly of Carlos, no matter what. And she’ll remain faithful and never marry again. But now that he’s in prison, with no chance of getting out, I think she’s given herself permission to let him go.”

Killian poured orange juice into a tall glass and passed it to me. “Do you think she’ll visit him? Like she used to?”

I reached for the roll of paper towels to my right and folded a sheet for me and one for Killian. “No. I think the way he went after Lety and Brody was the final straw. Everything that he did to us over the years, as bad as it was—I don’t know, this was different. It made her finally accept how sick he really is and allowed her to say goodbye.”

Killian sat next to me and rubbed my back. “Do you think it will help her relationship with Lety?”

Knowing the truth made me sad. “They’ll never be close, Killian. There’s too much hurt and resentment there.”

His hand stopped on my lower back. “But you don’t resent her, do you?”

I smiled up at him. “I can’t. She was weak. I know that feeling too well—I can’t judge her, having been there myself.” I fiddled with the folded napkin. “Lety’s always been a fighter. She doesn’t understand what it’s like for those of us who can’t…or choose not to.”

Killian pressed a kiss to my head and returned to the kitchen. He laughed as he stirred the eggs again. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

He lowered the heat on the stove. “Sorry. I was just wondering who got into more throw-downs, my sister or yours.”

I grimaced. “It might have been mine. I remember when Lety was hauled into the principal’s office by Sister Mary Rosalyn for taking a swing at a girl who stole my Twinkies. The girl was in sixth grade; Lety was in third and made her cry.”

Killian raised his brows. “Wren beat up a guy for tugging on her braids. The poor sap liked her and didn’t know how to show her—hell, all my friends had crushes on her. But they were scared to death of her.” He huffed. “She would have had more dates in high school if she didn’t hit so damn hard.”

I frowned. “Are you talking about Joey Sacrasano?”

He glanced up. “What?”

“The guy you said Wren beat up.”

“Yeah. It was Joey.”

I crinkled my nose. “He didn’t pull her hair, Killian. He grabbed her breasts. I saw him.”

Killian scowled. “Then the shithead deserved it.”

I leaned my head on my palm, watching him as he divided the eggs and bacon between two plates. “Killian…what’s up with you and my brother?”

He paused before passing me a plate. “I made a stupid mistake once. It caused people a lot of hurt. Things haven’t been the same between us since.”

“Have you asked him to forgive you?”

“Hard to ask someone to forgive you when you know you’ll never be able to forgive yourself.”

The only reason I didn’t press was I could sense the guilt and shame gathering around Killian. If he trusted me, maybe in time he’d tell me more. For now, I let things go.

He dug into his food. I took my first bite and chewed very slowly. The eggs were…crunchy.

“I never said I could cook,” he admitted. He poked through his batch, picking out the tiny bits of shell.

“I’ll do breakfast next time,” I promised.

“Yeah?”

I covered my face when he grinned. “Will there be a next time?”

“Like I told your brother, if you want to be here, then I want you here with me.” His hand skimmed over my arm. “Last night was something special.”

That was one way to put it.

He smiled. “What are you thinking?”

“Are we, you know?”

He laughed. “No. I don’t know.”

I played with my fork. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

His shoulders shook as he laughed. “Say what?”

My teeth pulled on my bottom lip as Killian gathered me to him. “Are we, like, together?”

He swept my hair over my shoulder. “Don’t you know by now that you’re my girl?”

He kissed me sweetly, searching my face when he pulled away. “I want to talk to you about something.”

His sudden seriousness took me out of our moment. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just want you to know I’m clean. I have my blood test to prove it.” He waited before speaking. “I don’t want you to worry about anything we might or might not do. Okay?”

“Okay.” Although I agreed, he seemed like he wanted to say more. “Is there something else?”

“Just one other thing, but it’s a big deal.”

“More than s-sex?” For goodness sake. I could barely spit the words out.

“Yeah.” He held me close to him. “I don’t like you being afraid. I want you to start taking self-defense classes with Wren—and maybe do some sparring with me and Finn.”

I slipped from his hold. “I can’t.”

“We’ll take it easy on you. Go slow at first.”

I withdrew, gathering my arms protectively around me. “I’m…afraid to get hit.” I didn’t like admitting it, but it was true, and Killian should know.

Killian watched me carefully. “Because of all those years Carlos hurt you?”

Killian knew my father and the abuse he’d inflicted. He’d seen my bruises growing up, despite how I’d tried to hide them. “I’m not Lety or Teo,” I admitted. “The beat-downs they received made them tougher. Made them come out swinging. I was never that brave.”

Killian stepped closer. “Then it’s time for you to learn to be brave.”