Collision Course

 

I awoke to sun shining through the white shades in Jackson’s home office. The other side of the bed was empty, but a note lay on top of the pillow. I picked it up and smiled at the short but sweet message.

 

Good morning, sweetheart.

I didn’t want to wake you. Be safe and happy while I’m gone.

Knox

 

With no pressing plans for the day, I took my time getting dressed in yesterday’s clothes, then took Penny for a walk along the beach. I thought about everything that happened the day before and wished I’d handled the conversation with Jess better. Still, I couldn’t deny that some of her comments angered me. Maybe we both needed time to cool off.

My mind jumped to what Knox said about Chase. I hoped he was right, and a grand gesture would be enough to prove that Chase was special to me. I considered doing something with or for his gran, but I didn’t want to involve her while my relationship with him was so up in the air.

Maybe I could create and build a custom board game for him. Something to do with swimming or computers or music? I scrunched up my nose. While the idea had merit, and I would tuck it away for the future, I didn’t have time for something so involved.

Music. My thoughts flitted back to that night at Percolate, when I’d sung to Chase, not even knowing he was there. Could I put myself through that again? For him, I could. I would.

Happy with my choice, I headed back to the beach house and grabbed the bag Jackson packed for Penny. I noticed a thin book sticking out and glanced at the cover. Ouran High School Host Club. When I opened the cover, a note was tucked inside.

 

Miss Jones,

I decided it was time to introduce you to manga, and I thought you might find this particular series interesting. You’ll get the next volume when you stay at my place again . . . in my bed.

Jax

 

I wanted to be annoyed at his audacious statement, but I couldn’t seem to muster the sentiment. Truth was, the idea of sleeping in his bed was more and more attractive every time I saw him, every time he kissed me.

Back at the loft, I showered and changed, then immediately got to work on Chase’s surprise. I looked at possible venues and signed up for a time slot before I lost my nerve.

Debating what song I should perform, I flipped through the first playlist Chase made for me, but nothing felt right. I’d already sang “Collide”—albeit unintentionally—and “Give Me Love” for him. And, as much as I loved “Begin Again,” “Landslide,” and several others on the list, the lyrics didn’t match what I had in mind.

Switching to the newer playlist, I skimmed the titles, hoping one would jump out at me. As soon as I saw “Wonderwall,” my heart skipped a beat. Ever since the first time I heard the song several months ago, it had become one of my favorites.

But, could I pull it off? I would need to slow the tempo and change the key. Seeking inspiration, I browsed through cover after cover of the song until I found one that fit my voice and skill level. I listened to it several times before attempting to copy the guitar part, eventually adding in my voice.

After several hours, I’d made enough progress that I was ready for a second opinion. The crowd for this open mic night would be significantly larger than at the coffee shop, and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Since I knew Chase was in class all afternoon, I grabbed my guitar and headed up to Theo’s bedroom, Penny at my heels.

His door was cracked open, so I peeked my head around it and knocked softly when I saw that he was sitting at his desk with his back to me.

He spun around and grinned. “Thank Zeus you’re here. If I had to stare at that textbook for one more minute, I was likely to toss it out the window.”

“So, I’m not interrupting?”

“Nope.” He plopped on the bed. “What’s up, sugarplum?”

I made my way to the opposite side of the bed, and his eyes widened when he caught sight of the guitar. “Are you actually going to play for me?”

“Sort of. I need your honest opinion about whether this song sounds good. It’s still rough, because I just started practicing today.”

Theo rubbed his hands together. “I’m intrigued. What are you practicing for, exactly?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to decide how much to tell him. If he wasn’t already aware that Chase was struggling with our hexagon, as Kara called it, then I didn’t want to bring attention to it.

“I want to perform at an open mic night next month as an early Christmas gift for Chase.” All true.

Theo’s smile was huge. “He will die.”

“Not sure that’s what I was going for.”

“Trust me, he’ll love it. Let’s hear it.”

I perched against the headboard and made him move to the other end of his bed, so I could pretend he was in the front row of the audience. As always, I hesitated for a moment, uncomfortable with the idea of putting on a show. But, as I strummed the first few chords, then sang the verse, I could admit it was getting easier.

Theo’s expression was a little too enthusiastic, and I had to stop and restart a couple of times because he made me laugh. I would have to redo the entire performance with him sitting in the closet, where I couldn’t see him. By the time I got to the last verse and chorus, I stared at my fingers and focused on the lyrics, finally letting emotion ring through my voice.

When I was done, he started whooping, and I lifted my head, laughing at his antics. But, instead of meeting Theo’s cheery gaze, my eyes wandered past him, and my smile instantly fell. Chase was leaning against the doorjamb looking angry and hurt. Devastated, even.

“What’s—” Theo turned around, and seeing Chase, his mouth snapped shut.

I removed the guitar and tossed it on the bed, but when I started toward him, Chase was already gone.

“Shit.”

“This probably isn’t the best time to comment on your cussing,” Theo said, walking to his desk and tossing a couple of books in his backpack, “so, I’m going to the library. Give you two some alone time.”

I merely nodded, and he kissed the top of my head. “Don’t worry, you’ll work it out. See you later. C’mon, Penny.”

While I listened to Theo clomp down the stairs, with Penny following, I forced my feet to take me to Chase’s room. I knew we had to talk about this, but the right words weren’t coming to me. Hopefully they would when I needed them.

His door was shut, but I didn’t bother knocking and walked right in, closing it behind me. Although he hadn’t turned on a light, there was enough sunlight streaming through the blinds to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.

“Chase?” My voice sounded timid, which wasn’t surprising. I couldn’t remember another time when he’d been upset with me. I hated it.

“I thought that was our thing.” He spoke so quietly, I barely heard him. “Playing the guitar and you singing. Especially that song.” His laugh was harsh, and when he lifted his head, so was his expression. “Stupid, right? To think there’s anything you share with only me.”

Stunned by his vehemence, I didn’t respond. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that what he witnessed with Theo was actually all about him. But, while that part was true, could I honestly say that anything we shared was ours alone? Just because I wasn’t singing for Theo in the way Chase assumed didn’t mean I wouldn’t in the future.

He got up and started pacing the short distance between his bed and the wall. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed vigorously at the back of his neck, making me wonder if that layer of skin would survive the assault. “I know it’s not fair to get mad at you when I agreed to this, but it’s harder than I expected.”

My stomach churned with anxiety. This conversation had been a long time coming, but I still dreaded it. How could I make Chase feel better about our situation when it was constantly tearing me apart? Every time I started to accept it, something else happened to remind me that this was insane. Impossible.

I approached slowly and touched his arm. “It’s okay. I knew you’d been struggling and should have talked to you sooner. I, uh, didn’t really know what to say.”

“Neither did I.” He shook his head. “Everything I’ve considered saying makes me sound like a jealous idiot.”

“I doubt that.”

His lips curved into an almost-smile. “Trust me. I am a jealous idiot, so I would know.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

Chase smiled for real at that, making his dimple appear. “Well, at least we agree that I’m jealous.”

His easy acceptance of that fact made me feel even worse. “I’m sorry—”

“No, Haley.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed lightly. “Please don’t apologize. It’s just . . .” His gaze drifted away before returning and seizing mine in an intense stare. “I am so completely in love with you. I think I have been since the moment we met. Not being able to tell you, not knowing how you feel . . . it’s killing me.”

I swallowed, the words I desperately wanted to say stuck in my throat. Once I spoke them aloud, I could never take them back. And, I was scared. Scared that this one moment would change everything.

How could my heart feel so light and heavy at the same time?

His thumb brushed over my cheek. “You don’t have to say anything. I have no expectations. I just wanted you to know.”

He was giving me an out, but I refused to take it. If there was ever a time to be honest, this was it.

Wanting to lessen the blow I was about to deliver, I kissed him softly, then took a deep breath for courage. “Chase, I love you too. But,” I added quickly, my mouth dry, “you’re not the only one.”

“Really?” His voice was full of wonder, and I detected a shininess to his eyes that took me by surprise. I’d admitted to being in love with at least one guy other than him. He wasn’t angry?

I nodded. “And, for the record, I was planning on singing ‘Wonderwall’ at an open mic night as a Christmas gift for you. I only performed it for Theo to get his opinion on my arrangement. I thought you’d be in class.”

Chase’s expression was abashed, but then he started laughing. “It was canceled. Oh, god, I’m such an ass.” He cradled my face and kissed me once quickly, then again. Even as our lips pressed together, I could feel his enormous smile, and a sense of relief washed over me. I’d been certain he would view the disclaimer I’d included in my “I love you” as a rejection, not a cause for elation.

He pulled back to look at me, his happiness contagious. “Will you still perform at the open mic night?”

“If you want me to.”

“I would love it. Like I love you.” Another earth-shattering grin covered his face. “I love you. I had no idea it would feel so unbelievable to finally say it.”

Smiling at his enthusiasm, I said it back. “I love you.” I licked my lips, as if tasting the words on them. “You’re right. That does feel good.”

“Oh, no you don’t.” He suddenly picked me up, then dropped me on the bed and climbed on after me. “That mouth belongs to me.” His tongue traced where mine had been moments before, then dove inside my mouth. I yanked on his shirt to urge him closer, and he complied, dropping to his elbows. Our chests brushed, and the need to feel his skin against mine caused me to push up his shirt. He paused, removed it the rest of the way, then tugged at the bottom of my sweater with a question in his eyes. I nodded and lifted my back enough for him to pull it over my head.

When he leaned back, his mouth opened and closed several times, making me grateful I’d worn a cute bra—turquoise with black lace along the edges. “I don’t even have the words.”

I ran my hands along the ridges of his abdomen, thinking I was just as speechless. There was no way to describe how incredible Chase looked, and felt, without his shirt.

He sucked in a breath, then hesitantly stroked a finger down my chest, between my cleavage, and lingered over the front clasp of my bra before following the same path again. “If I did that with my mouth, would you be okay with it?”

My heart rate jumped from imagining it, and I nodded. Knowing he hadn’t done anything like this before seemed to increase my own excitement, and I started to comprehend what Theo meant about preferring innocence. Shouldn’t be thinking about Theo right now, I reminded myself as Chase’s head lowered to my neck.

He took his time raining delicate kisses on my skin, his patience exceeding my own. I wasn’t sure where my confidence came from, but I found myself reaching up to unfasten my bra. Chase froze as the cups fell away, leaving me bare to him.

“You’re killing me, Haley,” he groaned. Forcing his gaze up to my face, he studied me, appearing almost tortured.

After long moments of silence, he pulled away, seeming to have made the decision to stop things before they really started. Stung, I moved to put my bra back on until I heard the rustle of fabric as his jeans hit the floor.

My head swung around, and I bit the inside of my lip to keep from moaning at the sight of Chase standing there in nothing but a pair of navy boxers. They sat low on his hips, highlighting his narrow waist and the definition of his lower abdominal muscles. His toned thighs peeked out, and I wondered if it was odd to think even his legs were sexy.

“I won’t let things go too far.” His hands skimmed over my legs, stopping at my waist. “But, I want to feel more of you. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” I breathed, watching as he unzipped my jeans and slid them off.

His eyes raked over every inch of my body, my skin flushing under his stare. Naked except for my lace panties, I wavered between the impulse to cover up and the desire to relish this new freedom I felt with Chase. The freedom to bare my heart and my body to him.

When his gaze finally reached my face, it was full of admiration. “Beautiful doesn’t seem good enough, but I’m having trouble forming thoughts right now.”

My eyes strayed to his chest, and I grinned. “I know what you mean.”

He stretched out above me, his lips exploring my stomach in painstaking detail. When he got to my breasts, he softly brushed his fingers over the sensitive flesh of one then the other. “Touching you is even better than I imagined.”

“Have you imagined it a lot?” I teased, secretly hoping he had.

His pale blue eyes shone with a mixture of hunger and humor. “I think it would be wise for me to shut up and go back to kissing you.”

“By all means.”

He continued his leisurely exploration of my breasts until I couldn’t take it anymore. I tugged on the back of his neck, and he pulled my body flush with his, our mouths fusing together in a kiss that I wanted to last forever. I let my hands wander over his shoulders and back while his cupped my butt and held me tight against him.

Skin to skin, with our legs entangled, the sensations were overwhelming. The need I was feeling intensified as we began moving against each other, heat spreading low in my stomach. With scarcely two thin layers separating us, every time his length brushed against me, delved between my thighs, it made me breathless.

When I ran my fingers along the waistline of his boxers, Chase rolled onto his back, breathing heavily. “We need to stop.” He tugged the sheet over us and pushed a strand of hair away from my face. “I want our first time to be perfect. Not after I was a jerk to you for no reason.”

First time? Surprisingly, hearing that didn’t freak me out like it would have not so long ago. Instead, I felt eager. Ready.

“Please don’t beat yourself up over that. Forgiven and forgotten.”

“Thank you.” He placed a kiss on my forehead. “Will you sing something for me?”

I glared at him playfully. “You ask so much.”

“I know. Will you do it anyway?”

Unable to resist his beseeching blue eyes and that damn dimple, I gave in and began singing the first few lines of “Collide.” I’d teased him about choosing it as our song since we literally ran into each other the first time we met, but the lyrics were almost eerily appropriate for our relationship thus far. Was it inevitable . . . would we always collide?