Chapter Ten

Sophia

I know I’m playing with fire by telling Ryan he can sleep on the sofa, but he hasn’t got anywhere else to go, and it’s not like he’s going to be staying permanently anyway. It’s going to be fun getting to know him outside of work, and who knows, if I manage to sort my visa situation out, it might mean we can convert our friendship into something else entirely.

That’s probably not even worth thinking about, though. Ryan and I have a professional relationship, and even though we’re a couple on stage, I have to be careful to not fall into the trap of thinking that the way he looks at me when we’re working, might also be the way he wants to look at me for real.

That kiss was incredible, but Ryan is an unbelievable actor, and even if he were kissing me for real, that still doesn’t mean he wants anything more serious with me outside of this play. Besides which, and like I said before, I’m totally out of bounds until I know if I’m going to be able to stay here permanently. I’m sick of men coming in and out of my life, and I don’t want to get involved with another one romantically if in two months time I’m going to be back in France pining for someone over three thousand miles away.

Ryan’s definitely not the kind of guy I could have a one night stand with and forget about. To be honest, he’s not the kind of guy I could have a two month stand with either. Ryan Speed is perfect boyfriend material, and I’d rather have the whole thing than either a taste of what I’ll eventually be losing, or absolutely nothing at all.

We’re in a bar near the theatre, and even though I’ve only had a couple of drinks, I already feel tipsy. I don’t usually get nervous before a performance, but this morning I felt so ill I nearly puked. I guess I must be run down. I’ve got to finish my thesis, I’m looking for work constantly, all that shit with Jack and then Dan and Jessica must have worn me out more than I realized, and Marshall’s rigid rehearsal schedule isn’t the easiest to maintain. I’m looking forward to having a break when all this is over, but that also means that Ryan and I are likely to see way less of each other, if anything at all, so part of me is dreading it.

Ryan comes back to the table with drinks for everyone and then slides into the bench seat next to me.

“Last one”, Marshall says, with a hand gesture that takes in the drinks and both of us. “I can’t have you rolling into work drunk tomorrow.”

I wish Ryan and I were in here alone. It’s fun to celebrate with the rest of the cast, but I’d prefer it much more if it were just him and me.

“You mean you can’t have us spending all of your money?” Ryan says.

“That too”, Marshall calls back. “I’m watching you.”

“As long as he has a tab—”, Ryan whispers to me.

“Cheers”, I say, and lift my glass up to clink against his.

“Okay”, Ryan says. “Let’s do this properly.”

“Alright, you go first.”

“Rolling Stones or Beatles?”

“Stones when I’m up”, I say. “Beatles when I’m mellow.”

Ryan frowns.

“Okay, Stones”, I confirm.

“The Wire or Breaking Bad?” he asks.

“The Wire, definitely”, I say.

“Beach or mountain?”

“Can I have both?” I ask.

Ryan shakes his head. “You’ve got to choose, one or the other.”

“Beach”, I say.

“Theatre or film?”

“Film”, I whisper, “but don’t tell Marshall.”

“Shower or bath?”

“Seriously?”

“It’s how this works”, Ryan says. “You’ve got to choose.”

“Bath”, I say. “But not any old bath, the bath my grandparents have in their house. It’s about two and a half times the size of a normal bath and I can lie down in it without touching each end at the same time.”

“Are you sure that’s not a memory from your childhood you’re holding on to?”

“They don’t have baths like that here in the States”, I say. “Actually, I haven’t seen a bath like that anywhere else.”

Ryan takes a sip of his beer. “Are you looking forward to going back home?” he says.

I shake my head. “I’d give anything to stay here”, I say. “Even though the baths aren’t the same, I love this country.”

Ryan smiles. “Married life or single life?”

I shake my head. “You’ve had your five, it’s my turn now.”

“Let’s play something else”, Ryan says.

I ignore him. “City or country?”

“That depends on money”, Ryan says. “And about a million other factors.”

I smile. “That’s not how the game works.”

“City”, Ryan says. “I like asian food too much.”

“Boxershorts or briefs?”

Ryan laughs. “Boxershorts, without a doubt.”

“Missionary position or doggy style?”

“This is supposed to be family friendly”, Ryan says.

“Just answer the question”, I say, unsure whether that question could be qualified as flirting, and if it is, whether I should worry about it.

“You know, it depends on the moment”, Ryan says, his smile so sexy I could lean over here and kiss him.

“That’s not the way this game works”, I say instead.

Ryan shifts a little so he’s looking at me more face on, his leg pressed into mine, his arm on the edge of the bench by my head. “Just one?” he asks, already aware that he has to pick.

I nod. If this isn’t flirting, I don’t know what is. So close we could hug, so much tension in here I feel like I could explode. Any more intimate, and if we weren’t already an on screen couple, people might be inclined to talk.

“Just one”, I say.

“For the rest of my life?”

“For the rest of your life”, I confirm.

“That’s too difficult.”

“That’s not my problem”, I say.

“Oh, man.”

Ryan looks away and then back again. Missionary position he mouths to me.

I laugh. “That’s so boring”, I whisper back.

Ryan shrugs. “I can’t see your face if we’re doing doggy.”

I’m not sure if he meant to use both of us as an example, but I can feel my cheeks go red.

“That depends how flexible your neck is”, I say.

“And that depends how well you’ve slept.”

“You’re just a romantic, Ryan, it’s obvious.”

“What can I say”, he says in a made up accent. “I’m a traditionalist first and foremost.”

“Married life or single life?” I ask.

“Now that isn’t fair”, he says, shifting a little away from me.

“That’s my fourth question”, I point out.

Ryan takes a theatrical sip of his beer. “You stole it.”

“I appropriated it”, I say. “You still have to answer it.”

“Married”, he says without hesitation, his eyes firmly fixed on mine. After a silence, he says, “what?”

“Nothing”, I say. “I knew you were a romantic, that’s all. Missionary position with your wife, after eating Asian food, looking out over the city, with your boxershorts on.”

“While you listen to rolling stones, in a huge bath in your beach house, watching The Wire on repeat and thinking about your next film role.”

“We sound like an adorable couple”, I say.

Ryan smiles. “That bath sounds big enough for missionary.”

“You’d have to take your boxershorts off first”, I say.

“Now I’ve got an image”, Ryan says. “I can’t help it.”

“It’s alright, I’ve got it too. Do you like the bath?” I say.

“Love it.”

“You’ll have to visit one day”, I say, and then have to clarify what I mean when he gives me a sexy look. “Not like that, of course.”

Now he’s giving me a mock hurt look, and I don’t know what to say.

“Last question”, he says, saving me the job. “Make it a good one.”

“Cats or Dogs?” I say, that image of him and me in the bathtub still not fading away.

“Dogs”, Ryan says, “but only because cats are allergic to me.”

I laugh again. “You mean that you are allergic to cats?”

Ryan shakes his head. “No, cats are allergic to me. They behave strangely around me, spit, scratch, wee everywhere, it’s very odd.”

I give him a suspicious look. “That is very odd.”

“You don’t have cats do you?”

I shake my head.

“Thank God for that. That would have been a dealbreaker”, he says, wiping his brow dramatically.

“I think you’ve just had a bad experience”, I say.

“Are cats not normally like that?” Ryan asks.

“No! Not at all, cats are lovely animals, most of the time, at least.”

“So, did I pass?”

“I think you did alright”, I say.

“For a first go?”

“Exactly.”

“Room for improvement”, Ryan asks.

“Definitely something to work with”, I say.

“I don’t snore, if that makes a difference”, Ryan says.

“That definitely makes a difference.”

“And are you sure Alice won’t mind?” Ryan asks.

“Alice probably won’t even know you are there”, I say. “She’s out all the time anyway, and I guess you’ll either be at castings or at the theatre with me.”

“Or watching The Wire”, Ryan says.

I shake my head. “Zombie films”, I say with a smile.

“Are you kidding?” Ryan says, twisting himself towards me again. “I love zombie films.”

“You can help me with my thesis”, I tell him. “My written English is awful.”

“Only if you help me with my lines.”

“Deal”, I say, my hand out for him to shake it.

“What are you two scheming about?” Marshall says, bringing us back to the group.

“Nothing”, we say in unison, like two kids caught doing something they shouldn’t be.

“Who wants another drink?” Marshall says, not entirely convinced by our response.

“I thought you said—?” Ryan begins.

“One more”, Marshall says, “And then it’s off to bed for the both of you.”

Ryan and I look at each other and smile. “I don’t know, Marshall”, Ryan says, “I’ve got about a two hour journey ahead of me.”

The words, stay with me go round in my head so much I’m surprised I don’t say them.

“One more won’t kill you”, Marshall says, “besides which, I finally feel like I’m loosening up.”

I can’t help but laugh at that. “Careful, Marshall”, Ryan says. “You might end up smiling if you’re not careful.”

“I’m saving that for the closing night”, Marshall says. “And then after that, I’m retiring.”

“One more?” I ask Ryan when Marshall’s gone to the bar.

“All of my stuff is at Alex’s”, Ryan says, almost apologetically.

“No, I mean, Marshall. I know you can’t move in straight away”, I say. “I still have to at least mention it to Alice, now that I know you are serious.”

Ryan smiles shyly. “He’ll be alright”, he says. “It’ll probably do him good to let what little he has of his hair down.”

Marshall brings the drinks back to the table and makes a show of handing them out.

“A toast”, he says, his cheeks red from the drink. “Ryan, Sophia, Sally, Connor, Paul, Angelina, Tracy and Brad, none of this could have been possible without you. Here’s to two more weeks of nights like this, and even though that kiss wasn’t scripted, Sophia and Ryan, what it lacked in planning it more than made up for in passion. Cheers!”

Everyone raises their glasses to chink together in the middle, while Ryan’s hand makes my thigh tingle so much I nearly have to pull away for fear I might do something I’m bound to go on and regret.