Prairie

 

“I think we have to pin it, honey,” my mom says from behind me. “Your boobs just aren’t as big as Norah’s granddaughter’s.”

“Please don’t talk about my boobs Mama, it’s weird.”

“Oh shush,” she laughs. “Hold it in place and I’ll find a couple safety pins.”

I look up at my reflection and can’t help but smile. Even if I have to be pinned into a second-hand dress, I can’t wait for Logan to see me. The light blue fabric falls in a smooth curtain around my legs and stops right at the floor so I don’t have to try and stumble around in heels. And once I get the rest of it to fit properly, the beaded spaghetti strap top will hug what boobs I do have. I used extra conditioner in my hair today and a curling iron to smooth my wild waves into big, bouncy curls that fall just past my shoulders. Logan always tells me he likes my hair down, so I’m leaving it this way just for him. I’m wearing more makeup than I normally do and even managed to copy a look from a magazine. I still look like me, but my eyelids have a bit of shimmer on them and I used a soft black pencil to outline them. The same shimmer I have on my eyelids is dusted along my cheekbones too.

“Here we go,” my mom says, taking the fabric from my grip behind me. She pulls it tight and sticks in a couple pins to keep it in place. When she’s done, she steps back and I twirl side to side so I can see.

“Thanks Mama.”

“You’re beautiful, honey,” she replies, swiping below her eye.

“Mama, don’t cry,” I beg. “It’s just the Winter Formal, it’s not even a big deal.”

“It is so a big deal. You and Logan are going to have a great time.”

I reach for the small matching purse sitting on my desk and shove a tube of lip gloss and my house keys into it. There’s a knock at the door and my stomach is suddenly in knots.

“I’ll get it,” my mom sings as she leaves my bedroom.

I take a deep breath and reach for my jacket hanging on the back of my chair. I smooth down my dress one more time and glance at the back to make sure I can’t see the pins before I turn off the light and head out to the living room. Logan’s standing just inside the door and the second he sees me, I wish I could take a picture of his smile and keep it forever.

“Hi,” I say quietly.

My mom backs out of the way and squeezes my shoulder when she walks by. “Not too late, okay?”

“Okay.”

It feels like time slows down as I walk towards Logan. I can smell his soap the closer I get and when I peel my eyes from his and look him up and down, he shuffles nervously. When I’m close enough, I reach for the collar of his black dress shirt and straighten his red tie. His black pants are pressed and it looks like he cleaned his boots too.

“Is this okay?” he asks. “Dusty lent me all of it.”

“You look great,” I beam.

He takes my hand and spins me around slowly. “I knew I wouldn’t regret asking to see you in this dress,” he says. “You’re beautiful babe.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay, just one picture,” my mom interrupts. “Come stand in front of the window and smile.”

Logan wraps his arm around my waist and I rest my hand on his chest. We end up looking at each other just as the camera flashes.

I’m never gonna forget tonight.

 

*

 

When we get to the school gym, Logan takes our jackets and I wait for him along the edge of the dance floor. Cardboard stars painted in gold and silver hang from the rafters, along with white twinkle lights and large glittery snowflakes. The gym is pretty crowded, more so than it usually would be. Because Redemption is so small, the high school often invites the kids from Edison to attend our functions. They bus them in and take them home afterwards which makes the effort of a dance far more worth it than if it was just our student population. Emily spots me from across the room and waves me over to her and Josh, but I feel Logan’s hand on my hip and his mouth near my ear, distracting me.

“So, this is a school dance huh?”

“Pretty fancy, isn’t it?”

“What do we do first?”

Just then, Breathe by Faith Hill begins to play. “Dance?”

“I probably suck,” he warns.

“Everyone here sucks.”

I tug him gently onto the dance floor and when he pulls me tightly into his arms, everything else fades away. He continues to hold me close and I swear we’re hardly moving but it feels like I’m floating. I lean back a little bit and look up at him.

“Thanks for doing this with me.”

“I’d do anything for you Prairie,” he says. And I know it’s the truth.

Before I can raise up on my toes and sneak a kiss, I feel something wet splash on my back and Logan’s pulling me behind him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he growls at Josh, who’s holding an empty cup and swaying on his feet. Emily is beside him trying to lead off the dance floor.

“My problem? What the fuck is your problem?” he shoots back. “Acting like you’re some fucking prize. You’re nothing but white trash shit.”

“Shut the hell up, Josh,” I say. “You’re drunk and you don’t know a damn thing.”

“I know that you need to learn your place you fucking bitch. Thinking you’re too damn good for Redemption. Just like your fucking loser dad.”

“Josh, please, let’s just go,” Emily pleads.

“What the fuck did you just say to her?” Logan demands.

Before Josh can repeat himself, Logan pulls his arm back and cracks him in the jaw. Josh stumbles back into Emily who immediately pulls him in the opposite direction from us. He turns back and shouts something but I can’t hear him above the music. I reach for Logan’s hand when I see Mr. Lewis making his way over to us.

“Come on, we have to go.”

We dart through the crowd and grab our jackets before we leave the school and start for Logan’s truck. My blood is boiling and I’d love to find Josh and tell him all about his own dad and the shady deals he’s been rumoured to make just to keep his farm afloat. But the tension in Logan’s arm around me reminds me that I’m right where I need to be.

We silently get into the truck and it isn’t until we’re on the dirt road and heading past the town limits that I finally speak.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” I say. “Josh is an asshole, please don’t let him ruin our night.”

I realize Logan is heading for the swimming hole and I keep my hand in his until he parks the truck and turns off the engine.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper,” he says, eventually. “I shouldn’t have hit him.”

“He deserved it,” I insist, unbuckling my seat belt and sliding over to him. “Please look at me.”

When Logan turns to face me, there’s so much shame in his eyes and I hate it.

“I love you, Logan.”

“I love you,” he says, pulling me close. “It scares me how much I love you.”

“You don’t ever have to be scared. I’m here with you because I wanna be.”

“I guess I ruined the dance,” he sighs.

“I don’t care where we are, as long as we’re together.”

He turns the key and presses the button on the old cassette player. Hello Darlin’ by Conway Twitty spills from the speakers. Last week, my mom and I were digging through what’s left of my dad’s things, we like to do that once in awhile. I found the old tape at the bottom of the box and gave it to Logan as a pre-Christmas gift. He laughed when I handed it to him but when I told him it was my dad’s, he put it in and we’ve been listening to it ever since.

“Come on,” he opens his door and helps me down as I gather up the bottom of my dress. He leaves the door open so we can hear the music and guides me to the even patch of gravel in front of the truck. I wrap my arms around his neck as his hands settle on my lower back. I rest my head on his chest and feel my nose tingle.

Of all the wonderful things in the world that I could have, I know that nothing will ever compare to being in Logan’s arms beneath the stars.