Prairie

 

I take the tray of homemade buns out of the oven and set them on the counter while my mom slices up the small ham she picked up on sale last week. There’s a knock on the door and I know it must be Logan so I take off the oven mitts and smooth down my red dress as I make my way across the kitchen. My mom and I already exchanged gifts this morning. She got me the dress I’m wearing now and a really soft white cardigan, which I’m also wearing. When Emily and I went shopping, I managed to find some good deals in the clearance section at Target. I picked up some bubble bath and matching lotion for my mom and a new hoodie for Logan. Our Christmas might be small and our meal isn’t anything fancy, but I know Logan will appreciate it and that makes me happy.

I open the door and wrap my arms around him as soon as he comes in. His hair is still a bit wet and he smells like aftershave, my knees go weak instantly. The Winter Formal was almost a week ago and I still smile every time I think about that night. It was perfect. Minus our run in with Josh, obviously. I was worried that Logan would be in trouble the next day at school but Mr. Lewis must not have seen the entire thing that night because he never said anything. Thankfully Emily somehow managed to keep Josh on a leash for the last few days until school let out for the holidays. I could feel his beady eyes glaring at us now and then in the hallway or in the cafeteria but Logan let it go and so did I.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I smile.

“Me too,” he says.

“Let the boy get through the door, Prairie,” my mom scolds, embarrassing me. “Merry Christmas, Logan.”

“Merry Christmas Mrs. B-“

“Nope,” she objects. “I keep telling you to call me Kim, and that’s exactly what you’re going to give me for Christmas.”

She wipes her hands on her apron and pulls him into a tight hug before she leads him over to the couch and passes him the small envelope from under the tree that has his name on it.

“This is for you sweetie,” she says.

He looks embarrassed and she must notice because she turns and heads back into the kitchen, giving him privacy to open it.

“Your mom didn’t have to get me anything,” he says.

“She wanted to!” my mom calls back.

He opens it up and finds the prepaid fuel card tucked inside of the red and white Christmas card. It isn’t much and probably not even enough to fill his gas tank, but my mom insisted on him having something from her.

He looks over at me and then back to her in the kitchen. “Thank you,” he says. “You really didn’t have to.”

She waves him off as she replies, “You’re welcome, and I know I didn’t have to.”

Me and Logan agreed the other day that we would exchange our gifts later on in private once my mom leaves to go help serve people dinner at the church. They always put on a meal for anyone who might need it and since we rely on their goodwill bins when it comes to shopping, my mom volunteers her time as much as she can to give back.

I grab us each a soda from the fridge and set the table for the three of us. We eat and talk, my mom asks Logan how Gary’s treating him at the shop and she asks him a bit about his plans to apprentice back in Drayton after graduation. It makes me feel sick to my stomach when I think about us being apart after we graduate. He’s says we’ll make it work, and I want to believe him. I try not to think about that now, since it’s the holidays and I don’t want to make him worry by seeing how worried I am. It feels like a real family dinner and Logan fits right in. I haven’t seen my mom this happy on a holiday since my dad died.

When we’ve finished eating and cleared the table, my mom packs up the leftovers and leaves the dishes for us.

“Take these home with you Logan,” she tells him. “I’ll leave them on the top shelf.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says.

“I should be home around eleven, once we get the clean-up done and everything put away.”

“Okay, we’re just gonna watch a movie I think,” I tell her.

She hugs us both before she leaves and I start washing the dishes while Logan dries. It doesn’t take us long and once they’re put away, I reach for his hand and lead him to my bedroom. He wraps his arms around my waist and walks behind me, kissing the back of my neck and making me shiver.

“Presents first,” I demand, flipping on the light. “Sit.”

I reach into my closet and pull out the snowman paper covered box and set it beside him on the bed. “You open yours first,” I say nervously. I’ve never bought anything for a guy before, and I’m worried he’ll hate it. He smiles and pulls the paper off, opens the box and pulls out the navy blue hoodie.

“Is it okay?” I blurt out. “I can return it if you don’t like it.”

“I love it,” he says. “You’re not returning it.”

“Okay,” I smile as his lips find mine.

“Close your eyes,” he says. “And hold out your hand.”

I do as he asks, surprised when he kisses my palm before he sets a small box in my hand. I open my eyes and look down at the gold coloured wrapping paper and the little white bow. It’s so pretty I don’t want to ruin it.

“You have to open it,” he laughs.

“I know,” I say, swatting his arm. “It’s so pretty though.”

He lunges for the box but I move it out of his reach and unwrap the delicate bow myself. I lift the lid and look down to see a thin gold chain with a small golden charm. I take it out of the box and realize it’s a bird.

“Oh my God, Logan,” I gasp. “This is too much.”

“No, it’s not,” he disagrees, taking it from my hands and undoing the clasp. “I would have gotten you a lot more if I could have.”

I lift my hair while he puts the necklace around my neck. I hold up the dainty little bird and look at it closely.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” I say, leaning forward and throwing my arms around him. “I’ll never take it off. I promise.”

“I love you Prairie,” he says.

I lean back so he can see how much I mean the words when I say them back, “I love you too.”

He moves to nudge me back onto my bed but I stop him. “Just wait, there’s one more thing,” I say.

“You better not have gotten me anything else,” he warns.

“Just wait here,” I grin.

I quickly go back to the kitchen and reach up into the cupboard. I would have never known that Logan’s birthday is tomorrow but he dropped his wallet the other day and I noticed the date on his driver’s license when I handed it back to him. I didn’t tell him because I wanted to surprise him.

I open the package of Twinkies that I bought yesterday and stick a blue candle in one. I wait until I’m closer to my bedroom before I light the candle and open the door. He looks up as I walk back into the room and shakes his head with a laugh. I sing quietly and sit down beside him. “Make a wish,” I say.

He’s quiet for a second and then he blows out the candle. He takes the Twinkie from my hand and sets it down on the nightstand before he pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly, like he’s afraid I’m gonna disappear.

“You didn’t tell me,” I say. “How come?”

“It’s just another day,” he replies.

“Not to me.”

I push him back gently onto the bed and lower myself on top of him, straddling his hips, “It’ll never be just another day to me,” I promise as I lean down and kiss his neck and then his mouth. I reach my hand down and move it up and down between his legs. I have no idea what I’m doing but his other hand grips my back so I figure I must be doing something right.

“Will you tell me what to do?” I ask, using both my hands to undo the button on his jeans. I slide the zipper down and rub him over top of his checkered boxers. I use my other hand to prop myself up on the mattress as I reach underneath the elastic band and wrap my hand around him. He’s really hard and feels bigger than I thought he would.

“Prairie, you don’t have to,” he says with a groan.

“I want to touch you,” I say. “But I wanna make it good, tell me what to do.”

I’m over the humiliation of having less experience than him, I want to make him feel the same way he makes me feel and I want to do it right.

“Just, ah, just grip me tighter,” he says. “Like this.”

He wraps his hand around mine and shows me how to do it and then he moves our hands up and down.

“Okay, let go and let me do it,” I grin.

I keep my movements the same as he showed me. He’s gripping my shoulder now and breathing heavily against my cheek. He reaches his other hand up and brings my mouth to his. I move my hand faster and faster until his whole body tenses up and I feel something sticky on my fingers. He kisses me harder, his hand on the back of my head now. I pull my hand away and reach for a Kleenex on the nightstand. I wipe my fingers and his stomach before I pull up his boxers and do his jeans back up. I rest my hand on top of his heart and feel it pound underneath my palm until it eventually slows down.

“Was that okay?” I ask.

“Um, yes, it was perfect,” he says with a laugh. “Was that not obvious?”

“I’m just making sure.”

“It was perfect,” he says again.

We lie there quietly and I trail my fingertips along his stomach while he plays with the ends of my hair.

“Why a bird?” I ask, touching the charm around my neck.

“Because it reminded me of you,” he says. “A beautiful thing trapped in a cage, waiting to be set free.”

“I only wanna be free if you’re free with me.”

He grows quiet for a moment before he pulls me up for a lazy kiss. I wish we had more time tonight.

“I hate that you can’t come with us this weekend,” I complain.

My mom and I are driving to Edison to spend the weekend with my aunt and uncle and their two kids. I wanted Logan to come too and mom even said it was okay, but he has to work.

“I know,” he sighs. “Me too.”

“Two days feels like forever,” I laugh quietly. “Is that crazy, that I’ll miss you that much?”

“No,” he says. “Cause I’ll miss you just as much.”

“Maybe we should write each other a letter,” I suggest. “Since we probably won’t be able to talk on the phone. Like I could leave one with you and you could give me one to take with me and if we miss each other, we can just read the letter.”

“You want me to write you a love letter, Prairie?” he grins.

“Yes,” I reply simply. “And I’ll write you one.”

He reaches for the Twinkie and breaks it in two, handing me one half. “Deal,” he says.

We tap the halves together and right then it feels like everything in the entire world is perfect.