Prairie

 

I slide my plastic tray along the counter in the small cafeteria and choose the most edible things I can find. A turkey sandwich, a banana and some milk. When I reach the end of the line and pay for my food, I scan the room. I see Emily sitting with Josh and a couple others but I’m not in the mood to sit there and be ignored while she throws herself at him for the next thirty minutes. I spot Logan sitting alone in the corner and decide to make my way over. I feel a massive case of butterflies as I walk towards him, remembering the smell of his soap when he brushed past me this morning and climbed into the backseat of our car. Thank God he came along when he did, we made it to school in the nick of time so we split up pretty much as soon as my mom dropped us off. I swallow the lump in my throat and set my tray down on the table across from him.

“Want some company?”

He looks up at me and seems a bit surprised and that’s when I realize he was in the middle of reading.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were studying,” I apologize, reaching for my tray.

“No, stay,” he insists. “I’m done anyways.”

He closes his book and I catch a glimpse at the title. Motorcycle Maintenance. I sit down and set my own books for next period on the table.

“Thanks again for saving us this morning.”

“It was nothing,” he says.

“It was something,” I say back.

He smiles tightly and I can’t tell if it’s because he really thinks it was nothing or because he can’t take a compliment. I don’t like either of those scenarios.

“Really, Logan. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says eventually. “You should eat.” He nods to my tray.

“So should you,” I reply with a grin.

We eat our lunches in comfortable silence and once we’re done, he stacks my tray on top of his and slides them out of the way.

“So, how are your cl-“

“Hey Prairie.”

I look up and see Josh grinning smugly. I cringe when he pulls a chair up and sits down. He’s such an asshole.

“Hi Josh,” I mutter.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your new friend?”

I look at Logan and see the line of his jaw is tense but his expression is blank.

“Logan, this is Josh,” I introduce with a small wave.

They stare at each other and don’t say anything, which makes things even more awkward. I don’t know why Josh even bothers talking to me, we’ve never gotten along. I think he just likes to believe that everyone worships him and he knows that I don’t and so it bothers him.

“You just move here?” Josh asks.

“Yeah,” Logan says. “Is that a problem?”

“Easy there,” Josh smirks with his hands up in a mocking surrender. “No need to get testy.”

“Is there something you want?” I ask him.

“Some of us are heading out to The Hole after school, just wanted to invite you,” he says with an innocence that I don’t for one minute believe is real.

“No thanks,” I tell him.

I see annoyance flicker in his eyes when he turns his stare to mine. “Ya know, I get that you’ve always thought you were too good for some of us Prairie, but I was hoping you’d get that shit out of your system when you moved into that dumpy trailer.”

Logan pushes his chair back and looks to me. I shake my head subtly and turn to face Josh. “I don’t think I’m better than anyone, Josh,” I explain. “I just plain don’t like you. I never have and I never will. And I think the feeling’s mutual, so I don’t know why you care. Feel free to run along now.” I jerk my head back towards the table he came from, where Emily is looking over at us with a confused look on her face.

“Bitch,” he grumbles under his breath when he pushes his chair back and walks away.

I glance at Logan, ready to laugh about what a shithead Josh is. His eyes are zeroed in on Josh’s back and he looks…angry.

“Hey,” I whisper, reaching across the table and putting my hand on top of his. “You okay?”

He looks over at me and then down at our hands, his jaw noticeably unclenching. I move my hand quickly and feel my face turn red. I don’t know why I touched him like that, I don’t even know him.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

He swallows hard. “Don’t be,” he says. “Is that a-“

The bell rings and interrupts whatever he was going to say. He shakes his head slightly and takes our trays and food wrappers to the garbage bin. I pick up my books, still embarrassed for basically attacking him with my awkward affection. I’m about to apologize again when he comes back for his own books.

“Can I walk you home after school?” he asks.

“Ye-yes,” I stutter.

“I’ll meet you out front,” he tells me, again with that same tight smile.

“Okay.”

He turns and heads for the door and I finally snap out of it, heading to biology with a big stupid grin on my face.

 

*

 

When the final bell rings, I make a beeline for my locker, quickly dumping off the books I don’t need for tonight and packing up the ones that I do. Tonight’s homework is light but I’m going to do some extra reading from my biology textbook because I’m sure we’ll have a pop quiz on Friday.

“Hey, what’s the hurry?” Emily asks, opening the locker beside mine.

“No hurry,” I lie.

“Josh said he asked you to come to The Hole and you said no,” she says. “Who was that guy you were sitting with in the cafeteria? I think he’s in my English class.”

“His name’s Logan, he just moved here,” I tell her. “He lives in the trailer park.”

“Hm. He’s cute,” she grins.

“Liar,” I laugh. “He’s not your type Em.”

“Well of course he’s not my type, but maybe he’s yours.”

“Maybe.”

“Ugh fine,” she whines. “Don’t give me any details. I’ll find out eventually through the gossip vine sooner or later,” she sings.

“I’m sure you will,” I agree with a laugh before I close my locker. “See ya tomorrow.”

“Later,” she says.

I head for the main doors and watch for Logan. I see him standing off to the side of the crowd, leaning back against the building. I walk towards him and wave nervously when he looks up. He pushes off the wall and picks up his backpack and we head the same way we did yesterday. We pass Josh and Emily and a few others piling into Josh’s new truck. The sun is shining and there’s hardly a cloud in the sky, perfect for swimming at the hole.

“If you’d rather be doing that, you can go,” Logan says. “I won’t mind.”

“Nah. Emily, the one with the blonde hair,” I say, pointing casually. “She’s the only one in that group that I’m even friends with and she’ll be too busy climbing all over Josh,” I snort. “Besides, I’d rather walk home with you.”

We reach the dirt road and move ourselves closer to the ditch, he puts himself on the outside closest to the traffic.

“That guy…he’s into you,” he says.

“Josh? Umm, no. We’ve never gotten along,” I explain. “He’s a brat.”

“What did he mean in the cafeteria when he said, when you moved?”

“We used to have a dairy farm,” I reply. “My parents ran it themselves and had a few employees. But then my dad got sick.”

I tell Logan about the cancer and how my parents practically sold everything to pay for treatment and that in the end it didn’t matter because my dad was already too sick by the time they found the tumours.

“We didn’t have much left by the time he passed away,” I explain. “So, we moved into town and my mom got a job at the diner. Things have been pretty tight, but I’m lucky to have a roof over my head so I try not to think about what we used to have.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. But it’s not the end of the world, right? So anyways, that’s why I’m working my ass off. I wanna go to college and get a good job and be able to take some of the weight off my mom’s shoulders.”

“Not a lot of people would do that.”

“I don’t mind helping out,” I shrug. “It’s embarrassing when I think back before my dad got sick and what was important to me at the time.”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

“Well I am. I was never as bad as Josh, my parents actually made me work for things. But I totally took everything for granted.”

“So, you’re not perfect, is that what you’re saying?” he asks with a grin.

I slap him lightly on the arm. “Ha, ha. Look at you, making jokes,” I tease.

A chuckle rumbles deep in his throat and I decide right then and there that it’s my favourite sound in the entire world.

We walk through the gate and onto the pavement leading into the trailer park when an old brown station wagon comes rumbling towards us. It slows to a stop and I hear Logan mutter something under his breath.

“There’s cold pizza on the counter,” the woman behind the wheel calls out to Logan, her voice raspy. “I’m goin’ to work.”

She doesn’t wait for him to answer before she rolls the window back up and pulls onto the gravel. I watch the tail lights disappear and look at Logan. He doesn’t seem to be bothered or even surprised at his mother’s behaviour.

I’ve seen her and that man she lives with now and then, coming and going. Her bright red hair is always teased to the max and she’s always dressed like she’s going to a bar or going dancing. I saw her with a black eye once and asked my mom if we should call the Sheriff but she said it wouldn’t do any good. She said some folks just don’t want help and people stopped trying to help Brenda Mackenzie a long time ago. Before I can stop myself, I slip my hand into Logan’s and lace my fingers with his. He looks down at our hands and then up at me, his brown eyes so deep and unsure that it makes my heart hurt. I tug him forward and we keep walking, his fingers tightening around mine.