Hours into the party and forty-five minutes to spare before the ball dropped, Hayden left to escort Holly to the bathroom. I'd been antsy all night and couldn't shake the feeling of unease. Another minute longer and I'd be suffocating. I needed to get away.

Maybe it was the champagne. I did have another glass after Dad told me not to.

Maybe it wasn't.

Maybe it was because Kova and Katja were a stone's throw away at another table. He'd been enamored with her all night and hardly glanced in my direction.

Maybe it wasn't.

Maybe it was what happened with Mom.

Maybe it was the anxiety of Hayden possibly kissing me when the ball dropped.

Maybe it was knowing Kova would be kissing Katja that really twisted me inside and I didn't want to acknowledge it.

Too many thoughts were flying through my head. I just knew I couldn’t sit at the excessively decorated table any longer, which was why I offered to take Holly with the need to stretch my legs and get some air. I had a feeling they'd get lost, but Hayden insisted I relax and he'd find his way.

Avery obviously had other things on her mind because she seemed absent every time I looked at her. I itched to pull her aside and demand to know what was going on, but there were too many people around, and with my friends in town, it just wasn't the right time.

"Ave?" I said, turning to her. "I'm going to run upstairs and freshen up. I'll see you in a few?"

When she didn't answer me, I nudged her and repeated what I said.

She eyed me. "You better not be changing your outfit."

I laughed. "No, I just need a couple of minutes."

I took in Kova one more time before I left. He only had eyes for Katja. Seated a few tables over, he had his hand deep in her wavy hair like he was massaging her while she spoke to him, probably in their native tongue. He twirled a lock of hair around his finger as she laughed. He returned the laugh. They looked perfect together.

With my heart in my throat, I walked around the pool deck toward one of the back doors. I stopped to turn around under a cluster of palm trees. Concealed by darkness, I stared from the shadows. Everything was seemingly perfect from this view. No one could see me, but I could see them.

Strings of lights swooped from the edges of the tent and met in the center where an eye-capturing Swarovski chandelier hung. Entwined with ivory fabric tool, it was almost matrimonial looking. A giant flat screen television was erected behind the band with the channel switched to Times Square, the countdown at the bottom. Though muted, I didn't need to hear the anchors to feel their excitement and know it was almost time to ring in the new year.

This was the first time all evening I’ve had a second alone to breathe. Not that my friends were smothering me, but with Kova and Katja here, Mom degrading me like I was scum beneath her seven hundred dollar shoes, and how important the coming gymnastics season was, it was impossible not to stress. Everything was riding on the new year. Every little detail, and every little moment had to be calculated, as if the stars needed to align for my dream to be a reality.

The truth was, it was hard to move past what happened with Kova because I would be back training with him.

It was also why I was standing alone in the dark. I needed a moment of reprieve before I lost what little of my sanity I had left. I had way too much on my mind. My cheeks throbbed from plastering on a fake smile and my head was pounding. It was all a façade. Every second of my personal life was a front. It's why I loved gymnastics so much. I didn't have to be anyone but myself.

A faint hint of cinnamon floated through the air. My back straightened at the rustling plants and I glanced over my shoulder.

Kova emerged from the corner, our eyes locked. I'd once thought his green eyes reminded me of a tiger in the jungle when we first met, and in this moment, they truly did. He sauntered toward me in a lazy sway, his gait powerful and commanding, and it stole my breath.

"I have been watching you all night," he said quietly. Thanks to my ridiculously high heels, we were now shoulder to shoulder.

"That's a lie. You've been acting like I didn't exist."

A low chuckle escaped him. It sent goose bumps down my arms.

"You think I would do it in plain sight so everyone could see? Never. Believe me, I have watched you all night. How do you think I knew where to find you just now?"

I clenched my eyes shut at his cavalier tone. I knew he wouldn't be lackadaisical about his roaming gaze. He hadn't been in the past.

"Where's Katja?" I asked, even though I didn't want to. I was too curious how he could be here with me and not be questioned by her.

Kova lifted his shoulder. "I do not know. She said she was going to use the restroom and make a phone call to her mother in Russia."

I finally looked at him, confusion creased the center of my brows and he answered the question on my face.

"Time change. She is wishing her a Happy New Year. She only calls her during specific times of the day."

"Ah," was all I could say. I really didn't care to hear more.

A moment of thick silence passed between us. "I need to go," I said, stepping away. But Kova stopped me with his hand on my wrist.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"No." I tried to pull away, but he pulled harder on my wrist.

A plead. He was begging through touch, much like how he expressed himself on a regular basis.

I sighed. "Talk about what, Kova? There's nothing to talk about. We already cleared everything up at my condo."

Kova didn't let up. His heady stare bore into me until he broke my resolve. For some godforsaken reason I loved when he looked at me with such desperation. I caved every time. His emerald green eyes framed between black-as-midnight lashes put me in a hypnotic state of mind.

"Follow me," I said, and he dropped my wrist. "Just don't follow too close. When we get to the staircase, wait three minutes. Go up to the second room on the right."

He nodded and I guided Kova through my home toward the stairs. I knew there would be eyes and ears everywhere, and even though there would be no earthly reason to suspect anything between us, I still took caution. One could never be too safe.

I made my way up the staircase and decided I would never wear these high heels again. Each step caused my dress to tug up higher on my thighs and my hips to sway as I struggled to keep my balance.

Or, maybe it was just my false bravado that caused my ankles to shake. Growing up with a mother like mine, high heels were of the norm.

Walking into my room, I exhaled a nervous breath and quietly closed the door behind me. I kept the lights off and headed straight for the balcony. I pushed the sheer white curtains aside and opened the sliding glass door, breathing in the salty air that helped steady my racing heart. My room overlooked the Atlantic Ocean across the road, and it was on the complete opposite end of the party.

I leaned on the railing, staring as far as my gaze could reach at the dark sea when I heard a soft click. I didn't move, and I didn't look over my shoulder, but I felt his presence as soon as he stood in the doorway.

Adrenaline kicked up a notch. Goose bumps broke out over my arms as a gust of wind blew across my skin while I waited in anticipation for him. I hoped he locked the door.

"You look breathtaking tonight," he said, his voice strangled. The way he said those words caused my heart to stammer. "I cannot believe your father let you wear that."

I finally glanced over my shoulder and pushed myself up.

"Why not?"

His piercing eyes looked at me in disbelief. Kova stepped forward until we were face-to-face with just a handful of inches separating us. I leaned my hip against the railing as he stared down at me.

In complete bluntness he said, "Because it screams sex, Ria. I want to rip that dress off you and spend hours inside you."

My nipples hardened, and my lips parted with a soft breath. He shook his head in blatant desire, his heated eyes openly trailed down my body. His gaze did not deny his words. His eyes lit up like he was imagining all the dirty and perverted things he wanted to do to me. Kova made sure I felt every inch of his stare.

"Hot, sweaty, rough sex in ways you have never even dreamed of, until you cannot walk. I had no idea you could look so… so…" He scratched his jaw. "I have no words."

His voice, deep and raspy, heavy with his Russian inflection, glided over me in waves of euphoria I didn't know how to handle. His tongue licked slowly across his bottom lip, and damn was it hot as hell when his eyes met mine again. The warmth of standing so close to his body hit me with a force so strong I wanted to lean into him.

Instead, I swallowed and glanced away. "You can't say those things to me. Not anymore."

"You cannot wear these…these kinds of clothes and not expect me to react."

I ignored his comment. I wasn't sure how to respond without reacting stupidly.

"I'm surprised you came tonight."

He was still looking at me as I stared at the waves. "Why is that?"

I shrugged. "So many reasons why, Kova."

Placing his elbows on the ledge, he leaned in. "I will be honest, when I mentioned it to Kat, she expressed interest and suggested we come. Had she not, we would not be here."

My brows pinched together, and I finally looked at him. My eyes shifted rapidly back and forth at him. Not because he stated he's only here for Katja, but that she wanted to come.

"That's odd. You don't…" My heart began to stammer thinking about all the reasons why she would want to be here. "You don't think she suspects anything, do you?"

"No," he responded quickly. His tender eyes offered me reassurance and I took it. I think I’d always be paranoid about the situation. "Not at all. I truly do not believe she does."

I sighed. "Well, that's a relief. Not that I wouldn't deny it or anything, but God, just the thought scares me half to death."

"And Hayden?"

"He won't utter a word." I knew in my gut he wouldn't.

His eyelids dropped low. "I do not like that he knows."

"You and I both, but I trust him. He won't say a word because he actually respects me and doesn't make promises he can't keep…unlike you." I looked away so I didn't have to see his reaction. "You know, kind of how you promised you wouldn't call Katja malysh, and you still did."

"I guess you are right. Hayden would not utter a word. Even I know that."

He ignored my malysh comment, which annoyed me, but his statement sparked something. I turned toward him and placed a hand on my hip.

"What do you have on Hayden that assures you he won't speak to anyone?"

The corner of his mouth tugged up into a sensual smirk. His eyes grew heavy and a shiver ran up my spine.

"Nothing he did not ask of me…first."

That both confused me and filled me with curiosity.

"What is it?"

He shook his head. "I will never tell. You must ask him if you want to know."

I pursed my lips together. I'd already asked Hayden and was shot down. "Really, Kova? I think we both know I'm capable of keeping secrets."

"But this is not my secret to tell." His lips flattened into a thin, straight line. There was something else he wasn't telling me, a piece missing to this story only Hayden and Kova knew.

I shook my head, annoyed. Gripping the railing, I balanced on the sticks of my heels. "Why are we even here? Please tell me it wasn't because you needed to tell me how amazing I looked tonight."

Without saying a word, Kova stepped close to me, grabbed my arm, and lifted it up.

"Wha—" I stopped mid-sentence and followed his gaze to the nail marks still present on my inner arm.

"Stay out of it," I gritted through my teeth and yanked my arm back.

"I heard your brother explode inside your father's office, then I saw your mother talk to you once you both left. Does she hurt you often?"

That lit a fire under my ass. "It's none of your business."

"What is going on?"

"Why should I tell you anything when you never open up to me? You never do, Kova." My mouth tugged down and I put a hand up. "You know what? Never mind. I've been gone too long and need to get back before someone comes looking for me."

"Wait." Kova stepped in front of me and placed a hand on my hip.

It took everything in me to utter another word when he gently squeezed my hip, his fingers pressing into me with tenderness.

I sighed in defeat. "Move, Kova. The ball is going to drop soon. We both need to leave."

"Stay… please." His fingers squeezed again, a silent plea.

I blinked. "Tell me something, anything, I don't already know, and I'll stay."

Kova glanced away, squinting his eyes. His chest rose as he inhaled, and he slowly released a breath. Flexing his jaw, Kova was unmistakably at odds with himself, whether he wanted to give me what I asked for or not. Always tangled with right and wrong and what move to make next. I didn't feel bad though. I'd given him so much of myself already when he gave me nothing in return.

"Tell me something, please," I whispered, pleading with him to just let me in.

A breeze of salty ocean air blew past us and I shivered. Kova removed his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. I was engulfed in his cologne and drew the scent deep into my lungs. I sighed, a small smile spreading across my face. I loved the masculine scent that followed him everywhere. Not even the gym chalk could mask it.

Pulling the lapels together, Kova's hands lingered over my chest before he dropped them to his sides. He tried to close the distance, but I placed a hand on his chest.

"I just… I just don't know if it's a good idea to be so…you know." I swallowed. God. I could hardly speak the words.

"If you want me to give something to you, I will, but I need to do it my way." I regarded him with a jaded look. "Pozhaluysta…"

It was all I needed. I wasn't sure what Kova spoke in his natural tongue, but it was enough to win me over. Something told me to take what I could get from this elusive man.