I opened my eyes a crack and winced at the hammering pressure in my head.

I wasn't a drinker. I knew any kind of alcohol, even the smallest amount, would affect me, I just didn't think it'd be this much. I clenched my eyes shut and let out a yawn, praying the spinning would stop.

Judging by the darkness of my room, I knew it was the middle of the night, but it felt like I'd only fallen asleep a few minutes ago. I hated when that happened. I blindly reached for my cell phone to check the time, and opened my eyes enough to take a quick glance at the screen.

3:42 a.m.

I placed my phone back down and turned over as a ball of fire steamrolled through my abdomen. My muscles cramped and I gritted my teeth as I groaned and curled into a fetal position. Naturally, the side effects of the morning after pill would strike while hungover. I let out a painful whimper, wishing away the ache. The cramping intensified and I held my breath, hoping it would quickly pass. I really hated this and made a promise to myself right then to never ingest that stupid pill again.

"Aid?" Hayden’s sleepy voice came from behind me.

"I didn't mean to wake you." I pulled the blanket to my chin, not wanting him to see me like this.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, my stomach just hurts a little."

Without another word, Hayden rolled over and wrapped an arm around my waist. He scooted behind me and pressed his front to my back, curling into me to fit perfectly. I closed my eyes and sighed. The heat from his bare chest against my back was a comforting balm in my ice-cold bedroom. The security of his arms felt like heaven.

"Go back to sleep, I've got you," he said, and laid a kiss to the back of my head.

I closed my eyes and relaxed in his arms, letting the world fade away…

---

"How long do you think you'll be gone for?" Hayden asked as I zipped up my suitcase.

He sat on my bed and watched as I gathered items to take home. A small spasm tore through my belly, stopping me in my tracks. Hayden stood, but I held up a hand to stop him. I hunched over and held on to my stomach while I squinted around the room for the bottle with the orange cap. Spotting it on the floor, I huffed in frustration that I had to deal with the aftereffects again. Thankfully the cramp wasn't as bad as last night, but I knew the worst wasn't over yet.

"I think when the Parkettes meet is over is when I'll be back," I answered him, ignoring the shame in his eyes as I swallowed four pills.

Hayden's brows shot to his hairline. He ran his fingers through his messy bed hair. I loved this look on him.

"You're going to be gone that long?" he asked. "I assumed you'd be back shortly after the new year."

"That was the original plan, but after what happened, I don't want to be the only one left here when everyone is at a meet I should be at too. I think it'll be a good time to clear my head and regain my focus, remember what I came here to do in the first place. You know?"

My heart squeezed at the thought of missing the gymnastics meet, but this time I wouldn't allow any more tears to fall.

I drew in a deep, clean breath and exhaled the bullshit.

This morning when I woke, I decided I wouldn't dwell on the past, or my sticky relationship with Kova. Nothing good could come of it. What's done is done, and nothing could be changed at this point. My plan was to move on and work harder than ever before, no matter how much pain he caused me.

"Think Coach will have a fit?"

I gave him a droll stare and drew an imaginary circle around my face with my index finger. "Does this look like the face of someone who gives a shit?"

Hayden let out a laugh and I shrugged.

"What can he do that he hasn't already done? I'm pretty sure he can't—and won't—do shit if I take my time to come back. I have too much on him." I paused with a pair of yoga pants in my hand. "Speaking of having something on him, what were you guys talking about yesterday?"

"Uh, it was nothing." He looked away for a guilty second and cracked his knuckles. "It was just something he helped me out with in the past. Nothing important."

"Whatever it was, it has to do with the dumb dating rules he enforced."

A dim shadow appeared in his eyes and he looked away. Hayden shifted from foot to foot and tried to crack his knuckles again. Whatever Kova had helped him with was serious, and that made me more curious than ever.

"It's really nothing, Aid. Nothing I want to talk about anyway. A secret I swore I wouldn't tell anyone."

"A secret?" I giggled. I couldn't picture Hayden exchanging secrets with anyone. "Who do you tell secrets with?"

"My sister."

"Oh." I paused, my smile fading. I hadn't expected that. "But you know about my secret, and it can't be worse than that. Please," I begged sweetly, batting my eyes. "Tell me what it is. Tell me why your sister is the reason we have dumb dating rules."

"Aid. Let it go."

Of course, I couldn't let it go.

"If it weren't for your rules, I wouldn't be in this mess."

His eyes flared. It was the wrong thing to say.

"I know you can't be fucking serious right now. You're in this mess because you had sex with your dickhead, possessive coach who has mental issues. This had nothing to do with me."

"Jeez." I pulled back, not expecting the severity of his voice. "I was only half-kidding."

Hayden sighed. "I'm sorry for snapping, but I'm not going to talk about it. Okay? So just drop it."

"Fine." I'd just ask Kova anyway.

"Want to get brunch before you leave?"

My stomach grumbled and Hayden lifted a brow. "I wish, but I'm going to see my mom soon. I need to be as thin as possible for her."

His forehead creased with lines of confusion and his eyes narrowed. "Thin? Have you looked at yourself lately, Aid?"

Hayden stood up and guided me to stand in front of my closet mirror. Standing behind me, he placed his hands on my waist. I wore faded denim shorts that sat extremely low on my hips and a simple buttercup yellow tank top. Few colors matched with my dark auburn hair, but this was one of them. Mom hated these shorts. She called them Daisy Dukes and said I looked like white trash wearing them. Naturally, I loved them.

Lifting my shirt, his calloused palm roamed over my toned stomach. Hayden tried to pinch the skin around my abs and hips, but he couldn't grab it.

"See what I mean? No fat."

I shook my head. "I know, Hayden, I know, but I can't eat. I want to, but I can't. My stomach is in knots as it is. I'm sorry."

Hayden wrapped his arms around my shoulders and tugged me to his chest. I leaned back, relaxing into him. He was a foot taller than me and a good hundred pounds heavier, yet we fit together like two interlocking pieces of a puzzle.

"I think you're perfect the way you are. I'm sorry you have to deal with a mom like that," he said apologetically, then dropped a kissed to the top of my head. If he only knew how nasty she could be. "What about physical therapy while you're away?"

I held on to his forearms as a smile tipped my lips. I stared at our reflection. After I strained my Achilles heel a couple of months ago, I had to alter my training schedule to fit in treatment three times a week, and water down my routines so I didn't add excess pressure and tear the tendon completely. The pain in my calf and ankle was mostly nonexistent now, but I wasn't naive to think it was healed. I knew my boundaries…for the most part, anyway.

"You're so thoughtful and caring. I don’t have an appointment set up, but I will when I get there. I already know who I'm going to call. It won't be an issue for me to get in."

And it wouldn't. My dad would make the call for me.

I patted Hayden's arm. "I need to get going. I have about a three-hour drive ahead of me."

He gave me one last squeeze and said, "I'll miss you." Releasing me, he bent down and grabbed the small suitcase I was bringing home. We turned off all the lights and left my condo.

As I was locking the door, Hayden shifted from one foot to the other.

"What is it?" I asked, pulling the key out.

"Is this considered the walk of shame?" He looked down at his clothes, then met my gaze. "I mean, I am wearing the clothes I came in, and I slept with you."

A smile spread across my face and a laugh escaped from me as I shook my head.

"I'm pretty sure the walk of shame is supposed to include more than just sleeping next to me."

We walked side by side to the elevator. "True, but I had a boner when I woke up," he said so casually, pressing the button to take us to the lobby.

I burst out laughing, not expecting that. "Did you just say boner? Who says that anymore?"

Hayden shrugged. "Woody. Hard-on. Erection. A stiffy. Full salute. Morning glory. Pitch a tent. Throbbing member. Which would you prefer?"

My eyes widened and I laughed harder as he rattled off more nicknames. "I guess if I had to pick, boner would be the best choice. Do people really say morning glory?"

"I don't know, Aid. I don't talk about boner names with my friends," he said, flashing me a wry smile.

"Yeah, I guess that would be weird."

Stepping outside, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, considering it poured yesterday. For a December morning in Florida, it was breezy with a slight bite in the air. Goose bumps broke out over my skin as we made our way to my truck.

I opened my door and Hayden dropped my luggage into the back seat. He turned toward me and pulled me into a bear hug. His head dropped to the curve of my neck and I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around him. He lifted me up and hugged me tightly, and without thinking, I wound my legs around his waist and locked my ankles together.

"You're so light," he mumbled against my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut at the familiarity of those words. Kova had once said that when he held me.

Lowering me to the ground, Hayden kept me close as he looked down at me. His eyes crinkled around the corners and the intensity of his troubled gaze locked on to mine. He was worried.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "I did dump a pile of shit onto your lap last night that would take years of psychotherapy to sort and process." Even then, I wasn't sure if he'd ever see it through my eyes.

Hayden pressed his lips together and stared at me. He took hold of my side ponytail and curled it gently around his knuckles before letting it fall to my chest.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"I think you've asked me enough."

I repeated my question. He sighed and looked above my head.

"Not really."

My heart dropped. I had a gut feeling it was too much to take in. No human with morals and dignity would be able to swallow something the size of a horse pill and act like it was nothing. Not even the vodka had helped.

The guilt began to eat at me. I knew I shouldn't have told him everything. He wasn't Avery.

"I'm so sorry you're involved in this mess."

"It’s done. I'll learn to deal with it, even though I don't like it, so long as you promise me not to sleep with him again."

"I'm fairly certain that won’t ever happen."

He looked down and his eyes narrowed. "Not fairly certain, Aid. I need you to be one hundred and fifty percent certain."

I gulped down the lump in my throat. "I'll be okay." It was all I could muster. I couldn’t promise anything. The side of his mouth tugged up and he glanced away.

"Be careful. Text me when you get home?"

I nodded. Hayden gave me one more bear hug, then pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek before he released me.

"Thanks for everything. I'm not sure how I would've made it this far without you."

"I'll always be here for you." I smiled in appreciation. "See ya later. Drive safe."

My stomach twisted into a giant slipknot as I watched him walk away. I didn't need to ask the question I was about to because I had a feeling I already knew the answer, but I still did to be sure. It was a girl thing.

"Hayden?" I chewed my lip. He stopped walking and glanced over his shoulder.

I'd shed a layer of skin when I came clean last night. I had divulged my deepest, darkest secrets to him in a risky move. I’d kept nothing from Hayden, I had told him everything. No one knew exactly what I'd been through since moving to Cape Coral, and I planned to keep it that way. While I trusted Hayden, I had to be sure.

"Don't worry," he said, easing my fear. He'd read the look on my face. "Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell a soul. I promise."

My eyes searched his. I found nothing but genuine sincerity. I released a ragged breath, the panic subsiding. He nodded and turned around and continued to his car.

I couldn't find it in me to smile. To find relief. Not when he walked away carrying the weight of my secret on his shoulders.