I forced myself to look in the opposite direction to hide the anguish in my eyes.

Kova was married and I was the last to know.

"So they got married two days ago?" I asked Reagan, mumbling out the question.

"No, I only found out two days ago." I looked at her with curious eyes to see if she knew when. "Apparently, they married a few months ago," she whispered.

I gasped. A knot the size of a tennis ball lodged in my throat, my hand flew to my pounding chest.

A few months ago? That couldn't be right. Because if it were, then Kova had ample amount of time to tell me he was in fact married to Katja, and he hadn't. I didn't even know they were engaged.

Not only that, he'd had sex with me just last night. I still had his semen in me.

I tried so hard not to cry. Why would I? He hadn’t promise me anything, and I shouldn't have expected anything other than truth and honesty because we weren’t anything anyway, so it shouldn't hurt me, but it did. Never in a million years did I see this coming. Kova should've been the one to look me in the eye and break my heart. I shouldn't have had to find out through the grapevine, he should've told me he was going to ask Katja to marry him.

But he hadn't, and I didn't know what to think about that.

I looked at the lobby again and stepped aside to let Reagan go so I could see for myself. I had to see the ring, that would make it official.

It just so happened that Madeline moved to the side to come back into the gym…

And I saw the massive multi-diamond engagement ring and blaring gold wedding band that could not be mistaken for anything else other than a woman who's very much married.

My blurry eyes shot to Kova's. He looked utterly heartbroken, devastated, it was obvious he felt horrible, but I didn't feel bad for him. I wouldn't let myself, even though it was hard not to when I was tied to him in ways that I wasn't sure could ever be severed, no matter how hard I tried.

Kova had betrayed me.

In this moment, I knew there was no way I could feel bad for him with how desolate I felt inside. There was no way, when he didn't give a shit about me.

I wanted to crawl inside a hole, light myself on fire, and die a painful death.

I didn't have any emotion left to give; my entire being had been sucked dry. I just couldn’t. Kova should've been man enough to tell me the truth. I mean, he's had months to at least try and tell me, and yet he never did. I was breaking inside. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly feel any more pain than I did when I learned the truth about my mother, this topped it all. Kova destroyed me, and I was the stupid girl who let him.

My mind went back to last night when he was deep inside me and repeating the words in Russian.

Oh God. Was he telling me way more at the time and I didn't realize it? I'd been too lost with trying to help him ease his pain that I hadn't thought about anything else. I was going to be sick. I'd meant to look up the words but I'd forgotten.

I should've known. I really should have known. I knew Kova expressed himself through touch, through his kiss, through sex. I just never would've thought this was what he was trying to tell me.

Ignorance at its finest when someone else is trying to heal another's pain.

I looked away and tried to focus on the tumbling pass I needed to complete. I tried to think about each skill, the physics of it, then visualized it.

In the corner of my eye I could sense someone shaking their head no. I saw someone move.

But it didn't register.

Leaning into the tumbling pass, I attempted to concentrate on the skill at hand, but it all happened in the blink of an eye.

I took a few steps, power hurdling into a round off, into the back handspring that I made sure to extend and not undercut—and my mind flashed to last night when Kova spoke in Russian—my feet punched the floor and I raised my arms as high as I could reach and began rotating into the twist—hearing the words in Russian that I thought he was asking for help, the way he looked at me—turning into the first twist, rotating my hips back again into the second flip, but something happened, and I panicked in the air before I could complete the skill.

I freaked out mid-flight.

I didn't execute the second twist and my body moved of its own accord. I shifted and turned however my body wanted to with little to no control to stop it. Every once in a blue moon this happened, and when it did, I couldn’t control it. It was impossible. The only thing my brain could process was folding myself into a ball so I didn’t break a bone on the way down.

And so, that's what I did. I hugged myself tight as my back made impact with the floor. I hit so hard, my arms shook and loosened, my knees hit my cheekbones. My head flopped back, the back of my head hitting the carpeted spring floor, and I choked out a breath of air. My body ricocheted, and I came loose until I flipped over again, landing haphazardly on the floor, this time trying miserably to catch myself.

Panting hard, I clutched my injured ankle, pain shot through me. Somewhere in between I hurt myself trying to land, but I couldn't figure out where. It didn't feel like my Achilles, more like a twist, but I couldn't think straight to focus on it.

I rolled onto my back and held my ankle until I rolled onto my knees and tried to force myself to stand quickly to roll it off my back, like nothing happened. I held my breath. No tears fell. I wouldn't let them, because I knew if I did, I would lose everything, and I wouldn't be able to stop.

Kova came running onto the floor and I eyed him with disgust and disappointment. He tried to help me stand, but I brushed him away. He tried again.

"Ria," he said low, trying to help, gathering me into his arms.

"Get the hell away from me," I nearly cried and pushed his hands away. "I'm fine."

"Please," he begged, trying to lift me. "Let me help you."

"Help me?" I said, scoffing sarcastically. I stood up, unable to make eye contact with him. Pushing back the tears, I choked out, "You've done plenty."

I limped off the floor toward the exit, but the only way to leave was to pass Katja. I exhaled a sigh and put on a façade of happiness and made my way into the lobby.

I'd never been so terrified in my life to meet someone face-to-face. I knew, deep down in my gut, I knew Katja knew the truth. There was no denying it.

"Congrats, Katja," I bit out with a cheerful smile while balancing on one foot.

"Spasibo," she responded, her eyes twinkling.

Thank you. I deciphered that one. I smiled again and went to walk past her.

"You know, Konstantin wanted to keep it between us for the past couple of months, but I could not wait any longer," she said exuberantly. "I just wanted to shout it from the top of my lungs."

"The past couple of months?" I asked against my better judgment. I had to hear it from the horse's mouth.

"Yes, did you not know?" she said, one brow raised, eyes boring into mine. "Konstantin asked me to be his wife forever. When I said yes, he couldn't wait, and made me his wife the very next day."

I tilted my head to the side…waiting…dying…until it slammed into me. Kova was married the week he was supposedly sick.

Vodka cures what medication cannot, he had said. I figured he was one of those people, like my dad, who didn't believe in medicine and drank his sickness away.

But he wasn't sick. He was getting married and drinking his way through it. No wonder he was so dressed up in the pictures he texted me. I firmly believed that now.

"We married two months ago," she stated. I didn't like the way she looked at me. The gaze in her eyes was too vindictive, like she knew something I didn't know.

Two months.

Two. Months. Ago. Kova married Katja.

I closed my eyes. God, I could barely breathe. The pain slicing me wide open hurt so bad.

Kova and Katja were married two months ago. I couldn't get that number out of my head. Two months ago he slipped a ring on her finger and promised to be faithful to her for the rest of his life, then last night he made love to me and came inside me.

I balanced on one foot, the tips of my toes on the other. I was going to be sick. There were too many opportunities in the last couple months for him to tell me he was fucking married.

Swallowing back my emotions, I quickly glanced at Kova then back at Katja with a straight face. I had to act like it wasn't a big deal. So I put on a sunny smile while my heart was breaking. I had to pretend it wasn't killing me inside, when in reality it was destroying me.

"I had no idea, neither did my other teammates, but things have been hectic since meet season started."

"Ah, typical Konstantin. He is such an honorable man. He puts everyone before him. I told him when we go on our honeymoon that I plan to make sure he gets all the relaxation he needs," she purred.

Fuck.

"Yes," I bit out. "That he does. I'm sure he could use the break." I paused, giving a very empty yet fulfilled smile to throw her off. Despite my fake mom, I learned from the best. She wouldn't know the difference anyway. "If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment I have to be at," I lied through my teeth.

My appointment wasn't today. I didn't even have one. All I knew was that I had to get out of there because if I didn't, any minute now the dams were going to break, and I didn't want to fall apart inside World Cup when they did.

"Of course," she said.

I turned and made my way toward the locker area, where I opened my locker and tried to pull out my duffle bag. It got stuck between the metal walls, so I began pulling and yanking and shoving hard, grunting and on the verge of tears when someone leaned over me and helped me yank my bag out.

I glanced over my shoulder and found a remorseful Reagan.

Why the hell… Why was she being nice and helping me? I shook my head, not having the time to care to think. She handed me my bag and I rummaged for my keys and cellphone. When I couldn't find them, she dug them out and handed them to me.

I almost broke down from that.

"Just go," she said quietly.

So I did.

Throwing my duffle bag over my shoulder, I swallowed back every emotion I was feeling and walked out of World Cup with my head up.

"Congrats, guys! I'll be back later! Off to tutoring," I said, then pushed open the door. I sucked in a huge breath of air and stalked toward my truck as my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I didn't answer it.

Once I reached my truck, I glanced down at my phone and saw whoever had called had left a voice message.

Expelling heavy breath after heavy breath, I listened to the voicemail.

Tears coated my eyelashes. Clicking out of the message, I gripped the door handle and fell against the side of the truck. I squeezed my eyes shut, they could wait. I'd call the doctors tomorrow for sure. Just not today. There was no way I could do anything else today other than sulk in a dark corner and cry.

Sucking in a lungful of air, I scrolled through my contacts and called the only real friend I had left. My chest rose and fell so fast, tightening, I thought I was on the verge of a panic attack. I could hardly catch my breath.

"Hello?"

I gasped, my chin quivered. "Hayden?"

"Aid," he muttered under his breath. Hayden wasn't stupid, he knew Kova was involved by the sound of my voice. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I'm not hurt, but…I…" I didn't bother to hide the breathless crackle in my voice.

Kova was married.

Kova was married.

Kova was married.

My chest caved in and my knees shook. I was dizzy, and close to fainting. God, the pain was so bad. I trusted him. I gave him everything and all he ever did was deceive me. Everything that came out of his beautiful mouth was a lie my heart held close.

Lies were equivalent to breathing air for Kova. It was amazingly terrifying how much destruction one person could cause with the slip of a tongue.

My head was a mess and I couldn’t think straight. Fat tears started falling so fast I couldn't stop them. I started crying, the hiccup in my voice couldn't be hidden. "I…I need you," I choked out.

"Where are you?" I could hear the urgency in his voice.

"World Cup…by my truck."

"On my way. Stay there. Don't move."

I hung up my phone and stared at my reflection in the dark tinted window, frozen in place. Whether Kova knew it or not, he had destroyed me. I grabbed onto the door handle tighter, but I couldn't move. The world was spinning around me as I spun in the opposite direction, the walls closing in with each spin. My breathing deepened until my ribs crushed my broken heart and I struggled for air.

I was a fool. A young, naive fool who ate lies for breakfast and spouted them just as fast as Kova did. We were the same, yet we were not, because I'd never, ever hurt someone the way he hurt me.

I blinked, and something dawned on me. Last night when Kova was deep inside me and I was trying to ease his pain, he spoke many things in Russian, but there was one word he said over and over that I had meant to look up.

Prosti.

Pulling open my truck door, I dragged myself inside and googled what prosti meant.

It took two seconds to figure it out. Chills ran down my arms as I stared in absolute shock.

"I'm sorry," I whispered aloud.

Kova was sorry, because he knew, and he didn't tell me. He knew, and the worst part was that he took what I so freely gave…because I loved him.

I loved Konstantin Kournakova.

I fell for this beautiful, Russian man, who slowly destroyed me, and I had no one to blame but myself.

It was startling. My hand flew to my chest as I struggled to breathe. My eyes scanned around my car, over the rich black dashboard, the leather seats, the wood grain. I inhaled the fresh new car scent and wanted to throw up. The car was getting smaller, the seats were shifting closer. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block it out. I needed to get out.

"Prosti."

Oh God. The reality that I loved him and what love caused me to do, shattered me completely. I believed everything he had said, I’d misread his touch, his kiss. While I thought he was expressing his love, he was actually breaking my heart. I lost myself to him and he took it. He didn't care about me. There was no way Kova cared about me, or he would've done something, anything, to prevent the agony tearing through me. He didn't want me, just like my mom didn't want me. I would never be enough for anyone.

I wasn't sure how I would come back from the damage he’d caused. I was strong, but I could only handle so much.

My heart was reaching out for help. I needed Hayden. He was my only friend. The only one who didn't cause me pain and exhaustion and devastation. The one constant who I could lean on when things got rough.

It was only a handful of minutes and a lot of tears and gasping for breath until he was there opening my truck door and pulling me into his embrace. I sagged into Hayden's chest, feeling his warmth, even though I was so cold inside. I shivered, goose bumps ran down my arms and my knees buckled. I fisted his shirt and cried silent tears while his hand rubbed slow circles against my back, holding me tight as I lost myself.

"It will be okay, Aid, I promise," Hayden said softly, then he kissed the top of my head. "I promise to take your pain away. Let me take you away from here."

I nodded and exhaled.

We were a team, he had said. I exhale, and you inhale.

A lot of time passed when my eyes couldn't produce any more tears. I felt myself completely shut down inside. Exhaustion taking over, I was void of any emotion.

Everyone had a breaking point, and I'd just reached mine.

I was so tired. Tired of thinking. Of feeling. Of hurting. Of giving.

I just wanted to release it all, and so I did…with Hayden.

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