Kova left me breathless. As much as I wanted to stay here and ring in the new year with him, celebrate the start of new beginnings, I knew we couldn’t. The meaning didn’t apply to us.

"Kova… Go. Please. This is wrong. Don't do this."

"I know," he whispered. Cupping my elbows, he pulled me close until I fell into him. I pushed against his arms yet gripped his biceps. My sense of right and wrong at war. His fingers glided up my arms and my breathing became strenuous. It was always in his touch how I knew what he felt, in his eyes what he was trying to say.

"We need to leave," I said, my throat dry.

He shook his head. "Not yet."

My heart dropped. If we stayed any longer, we'd risk being caught. "You're certifiable."

He smirked and pulled my hips to his. "Depends on who you ask."

"You're intolerable. What about everything you said about Katja? Your guilt and stress? "

His eyes darkened but he didn't release my hips. "My guilt does not compare to my need for you, Ria."

"I'm going to slap you," I deadpanned.

His eyes twinkled. I should've suggested castration instead.

"I want you."

I shook my head, my eyes pleading with him. "You can't. Please, you can't. I thought the whole reason you pulled me from the meet was so you wouldn't want me. That if I said no, in turn, you would say no." My voice shook. My emotions were climbing and I was on the verge of panicking. We were taking a big gamble being together when the ball dropped. "So all that…" I looked away, my eyes searching into the darkness as if I could see someone, but I couldn't. I swallowed hard. "That was for nothing?"

Kova sighed deeply and didn't say a word. His lack of dispute said it all. Everything he did was in vain. Everything. Pulling me from the meet. Feeling bad about Katja. All of it. Tears burned my eyes and I swallowed hard. I couldn't do this with him, the constant up and down. It wasn't fair.

"All you've done is treat me like shit. I need to go."

Kova's face contorted. A shadow cast over his eyes for a split second and I thought I had offended him. Tightening his grip on my hip, he pulled me flush against him. God, he smelled amazing. His knuckles trailed my temple and down my cheek. He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear and twirled the strand down his finger.

"Krasavitsa," he said, and his tone made my belly curl. I couldn't figure out the meaning of the word, but my nipples hardened in response.

The countdown began in the distance and people started shouting the numbers. My eyes widened and alarm set in. My brain said to leave, but my body wouldn’t move.

I couldn't. I didn't want to.

I made the mistake of looking at Kova. The urge to trace his full lips with mine, then draw them into my mouth was strong. Our mouths were inches apart. I loved his lips, they were his best feature, but I didn't want him to know he still affected me after how harshly he treated me and think he could get away with it. But then he pressed his chest flush against mine and I gulped. The moment I felt his heart thumping against my breastbone, my worry became a passing thought.

I'd once read if you listened to someone's heartbeat that your heartbeat would mimic theirs. It was the connection and makeup of two people who were complete when joined together.

I wondered if the same could be said for us.

My gaze fell to the thumping pulse in the vein near his collarbone. My eyes grew heavy. Reaching out, I glided my fingers over his bobbing Adam's apple as he slowly swallowed under my touch. My nails gently and softly scraped his olive skin. His jaw flexed, his hands trembled on my hips. Behind his steel exterior, Kova was struggling. It was the same song and dance between us.

He started whispering, counting down each number as he drew closer to my mouth.

"Five."

I shook my head. "No."

"Four."

His hand slid to the small of my back as he pulled me into him. "Kova, please…"

"Three."

He threaded his fingers through my hair and leaned down. He licked his lips.

"We can't…" My grip tightened, holding him to me.

He froze for a beat, then his lips tipped up in a sultry smirk. "One. Happy New Year."

His nose grazed mine, hesitating for a mere second before he closed the distance. His lips were soft and supple and gentle, unlike the man he was. The voices quickly forgotten at the stroke of his tongue along the seam of my lips. Surprisingly, he didn't push. He asked for permission, and without second thought, I granted it.

Heat surged through me and my eyes rolled shut the moment our tongues collided together in an obsessive bruising, yet slow kiss. Kova took control and kissed me hard. My breath hitched in the back of my throat, taking everything he gave, and nearly hating myself for it. I was weak when it came to him. Only him.

It was the slowest yet hardest kiss he'd ever given me that I found myself meeting his demands. I uncurled my hands and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and fell into the man who caused my emotions to run wild. Kova groaned in the back of his throat. A man succumbing to his unfathomable desires. He pressed and pulled, as if he was making love to me through his kiss. His hand held the back of my head so I couldn't move, not that I wanted to.

Kova's hand moved down my lower back, then roamed my butt. He gave me a good, hard squeeze and tugged me to him before his fingers wandered past the hem of my mini dress and trailed the crease at the back of my thighs and butt cheeks.

Kova abruptly broke the kiss and it left me dizzy. "Are you not wearing anything?" he asked, his voice guttural and raspy.

I lowered my eyes and gave him a flirtatious smile. Reaching down, I pulled his hand higher up my bare skin until he felt the lace of my thong along my pelvis. His eyes glazed over and he fisted the material.

"You know how easy it would be for me to rip these off?"

Growling deep in his throat, he went back to consuming my mouth as his fingers glided along my pebbled skin, playing with the delicate fabric. The cool ocean breeze coasted along my flesh and I quivered in his hold. Desire struck between my legs and my hips moved in a slow rhythm, rolling into his pelvis and the hard length that lay against his muscled thigh. I moaned into his mouth, wanting more.

Damn man knew how to kiss and how to kiss well.

The back of his fingers trailed around my outer thigh to the front. He slipped his hand between us and his knuckles raised the hem of my dress. His thumb pressed on my bikini line and I attacked his mouth with mine. A deep growl vibrated in his chest. Shifting my legs just enough, my panties were instantly wet. The throbbing pulse between my thighs intensified and I leaned into his touch. "Yes," I murmured. His nails teased the elastic. I gasped into his mouth, clenching the back of his neck as his middle finger trailed down the front of my panties, and along the seam of my lips. His touch ignited a blazing fire inside me.

Breaking the kiss, Kova pulled back but kept his nose close to mine. Asking but seeking without permission. I panted into his mouth, not caring how hard I was breathing, and wondered how the hell someone could turn another person into a state of euphoric bliss so easily.

With his compelling eyes trained on me, the back of Kova's finger was deliberately slow. His knuckle hit just the right spot as he explored the lace that made me feel incredibly sexy. I leaned into him with an audible sigh while he slid over my wetness, then back up to press against the top of my clit. My knees trembled.

He slid higher, eyes still on me, and pushed aside my thong. I dragged the pad of my thumb across his bottom lip as two of his fingers slipped inside and gently rubbed my freshly shaven skin.

"Ahhh," Kova moaned huskily, his head tilting back. "I like this," he said, looking back down at me.

His fingers stayed on my little patch of bare skin, rubbing back and forth over my flesh, and building a craving between my legs. He didn't go further, even though I wanted him to. There was a pounding in my ears that increased with each stroke of his finger. My hips pushed forward, tilting up. Our gazes didn't waver, and I was falling into an abyss I never wanted to crawl out of. He had a powerful hold on me. I begged in silence for him to give me what I wanted. He knew I wouldn't utter the words.

Snarling, Kova bit down on my bottom lip and tugged it into his mouth like the savage that he was. He kissed me roughly, then pulled back, taking my lip with him before he let go with a pop. "This right here is lethal." His fingers became aggressive as he rubbed harder, pinching the skin together until I'd almost reached that pinnacle high. His fingers slid over my throbbing clit, just enough to tease me, then he was gone. I moaned, and he stifled the sound with his mouth again.

We could be so good together, and so bad.

"Kova," I whispered against his lips. I tugged the back of his head.

"I want to get on my knees and devour you right now like this." He kissed the fuck out of my mouth like I imagined he wanted to do between my thighs.

"Please…" My head hazy, body filling with pure bliss from the stroke of his expert fingers. My hips undulated while my tongue licked across his lips and the roof of his mouth.

"Fuck," Kova growled, breaking the kiss abruptly. He pushed me away and stepped back. I panted, catching myself against the wall. I looked between his hips and caught sight of the raging erection he sported. I grinned. The depraved part of me loving that I could undo him like that. Adjusting my dress, I pulled the hem down and squeezed my thighs together to quell the ache he caused.

I looked around, momentarily forgetting where I was. "Just go," rolled off my lips nervously. "I'll follow in a few minutes. That way it doesn't look like we were together."

Always. It would always be like this with Kova.

We both stepped inside my room. Kova walked toward the door and I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up. When I came out only a few minutes later, he was standing by my dresser. I stalked over to him.

"What are you doing?" My eyes were huge. "You need to—"

He cut me off by swiftly maneuvering himself behind me with his hand over my mouth and his other hand on my stomach securing me to him. My heart flew into my throat. I instantly reached to pull his hand away, but he gave me a little shake and jerked his head in the direction of my bedroom door.

"Listen," he breathed into my ear. His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. I nodded. He slipped his hand from my mouth and ducked his head into my neck.

Male voices carried in the hallway that I immediately identified as Michael and Conner, followed by Xavier. I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, but I picked up some words. Pussy. Gator. Blue and black. I didn't know what any of it meant and I didn't care to. I swear those guys had their own language. All I cared about was the fact that we could've been caught.

When the voices drifted further down the hall, my head relaxed against Kova’s chest and I exhaled a sigh of relief. His hand on my stomach loosened.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

Kova stepped out from behind me, his hand trailing along my lower back to rest on my hip. He faced me. Without saying a word, he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to my cheek, his lips lingering for a few seconds. My eyes rolled shut. I didn't like the feeling of this kiss. It felt too much like goodbye.

He lowered his head and jammed his hands into his pockets. "Another time, another life… You look absolutely breathtaking tonight, malysh."

He turned and left without another word, softly closing the door behind him, and rendering me speechless.

---

Once outside, I made my way back to the tent. I spotted my parents with Kova and Katja, each with freshly filled tumblers and their laughter filling the air. Dad saw me and lifted his crystal, and smiled. Both Mom and Kova turned my way. My stomach contracted with anxiety but I kept my face neutral. Mom turned her head the other way while Kova looked at me for a split second before returning his attention to Katja.

His entire demeanor changed and my stomach revolted against it. His vibrant emerald eyes flashed with excitement and lust. I swallowed hard and looked to find my friends, who stood an arm length away.

Hayden saw me first and met me halfway, followed by Avery and Holly.

"Where did you go? I looked for you," he said, low but concerned. He placed his hand on the small of my back and drew me closer to him.

Naturally, I lied. I relaxed my face and slid on a peachy smile, though shame ate away at my insides. I knew without a doubt, he'd been waiting on me when the ball dropped.

"Oh, ah, I heard one of the servers saying they couldn't locate the champagne glasses."

"And did you pour all of them and serve them too?" Avery asked jokingly. She looked tipsy.

I laughed. "They needed help, so I offered." I eyed Avery, hoping she'd get the hint to shut the hell up and cover my lie. Eighty-seven years later, understanding finally dawned in her glossy eyes. She knew I was lying.

"I was looking for you when the countdown started," Hayden said, staring into my eyes, but there was another pair of eyes I could feel even stronger on me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't back in time," I said, feigning remorse.

Hayden's eyes softened. "If I'd known we would've missed our kiss, I would've found you sooner." I blushed, and averted my gaze to the grass. "Or at least made our earlier kiss more worth it."

"Adrianna," Kova called my name firmly. I looked over at him. His eyes were as hard as the grip he had on his glass of clear liquid. "I was just telling Frank, even though you are not competing in the meet that you should still come and watch. You can see what you are up against." He took a drink, his eyes hard. Telling.

He heard what Hayden had said about our kiss.

The last thing I wanted was to go to the meet as a spectator, not to mention, it was an asinine thing to suggest. Typical Kova.

"I don't think it's necessary to tag along. I've been to plenty of meets and know what to expect. I'd rather stay back and train."

Kova eyed me, downing the contents of his glass in one gulp.

"Would you like another vodka?" Katja asked him.

He looked at her. "Yes. Get one for yourself as well."

"I actually think it’s a fabulous idea that Ana tags along," Dad agreed. He sipped from the tumbler plastered to his hand.

"You might learn and a thing or two," Mom added in a snide tone. "Everything is already paid for anyway, so why not?"

With my chin up, I said, "I'd rather train."

"You can room with me!" Holly said, her innocent blue eyes huge with excitement. If she wasn't in the dark about everything, I would be furious with her for suggesting that.

"Aren't you rooming with Reagan and Sarah?" Hayden asked.

"Oh, yeah." Holly's smile fell. "But we have two beds. Two of us were already going to have to share one of them."

"Then it's settled. Ana will still go and support her teammates," Mom said, then excused herself. She always had to get the last word in.

I glared at Kova, pretending I had the power to drill holes into his head for proposing the idea. But he wasn't looking at me, he was staring affectionately at Katja.

He leaned in and whispered something in her ear. Her giggle was soft and feminine, her iridescent blue eyes glittered with delight. The way they were looking at one another didn't allude to infidelity. Not even close. They looked at each other as if no other soul in the world mattered. Like they were deeply in love and connected by an imaginary string that forever bound them together. It nauseated me. I turned my head, unable to take any more. Kova's concern over Katja pulling away was just his guilty complex rearing its ugly, deceitful little head and nothing more.

I couldn't comprehend how he could go from being with me, touching me, kissing me, and saying what he did, to acting this way with Katja. I had to wonder what lies he told himself to make it all okay in his head…and what lies he fed her.