Releasing a loud sigh, I threw my cell on the passenger seat and turned up the music loud enough to block out the thoughts in my head. My hands trembled and my palms burned as I gripped the steering wheel hard.

I picked up my cell and tried calling Avery numerous times, but once again, she had disappeared. Her absence was starting to bother me. I had fire flowing through my veins and my emotions were on a rampage over what had happened with Kova. I needed my best friend. I needed her guidance. And she wasn’t answering her calls.

I could lean on Hayden, but I wanted Avery.

I turned into the parking lot and pulled into my designated space a little too fast. I hit the curb with a jolt, propelling forward until my chest hit the steering wheel. I blew out a gasp and quickly shifted into park. Looking down, I realized I'd forgotten to wear my seat belt. Nerves and Tonka trucks didn’t mesh well together. Climbing out, I walked around to the other side and opened the door. I slung my gym bag over my shoulder, then grabbed my cell phone from the cup holder. Glancing at the screen, I noticed a text from Avery.

I clenched my jaw. She had a lot going on? I just got caught fucking my coach and was about to take the morning after pill, again, and she had a lot going on. I slammed the door shut in disbelief with as much force as I could muster and made my way through the lot to the lobby of my condo. Guilt filled me and I immediately regretted the hostility I felt toward her. This was Avery. She would never blow me off if it wasn't a serious matter. I just wish I knew what it was.

Ocean air blew against my heated cheeks as I headed toward the entrance. Being this far south, Florida didn't really go through all four seasons. December brought a nice shift in the weather, but it was rare we had a cold front. And considering how worked up I was, the cool breeze felt incredible against my skin.

I spotted Hayden as soon as the doors slid open. He sat bent over in a black leather chair with his hands twisted together. Head angled down, he appeared deep in thought as he cracked his knuckles. I fisted my duffle bag and took a deep breath. This was going to be interesting.

"I'm sorry it took more than twenty minutes," I said, striding up to him. Hayden stood, alarm crossing his face. "Dealing with Kova took a little longer than I anticipated."

Hayden shook it off and grasped my arms in his hands. He gave me a tender squeeze.

"It's fine, I would've waited until you got here, I was just worried about you. Are you okay?"

My brows shot up. "Okay? No, Hayden, I'm far from being okay right now."

Hayden let out a sympathetic sigh. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and drew me in. His worry for my well-being was as strong as the hug he gave me. I laid my head on his firm chest and took a deep breath, surrendering to his warm embrace. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed him in. Hayden was my solace, my comfort zone.

"Yeah, that probably wasn't the best question to ask you. Sorry about that, I'm just worried."

My face softened. I appreciated his compassion more than he knew.

"Thanks," I said, pulling back. I laced my arm through his and placed my hand on his bicep, loving the arc of curvature in his muscle. "Come on." I nodded toward the elevator.

A roar of thunder cracked behind us as we walked side by side. I stopped to glance over my shoulder through the tall, tinted, glass windows and listened as another round of thunder boomed outside. Lightning lit up the darkening sky and rain began to fall fast and hard. Hayden withdrew from me and draped his arm across my shoulders.

It was about to pour, and not only outside.

---

Once inside my condo, I placed my bag on the breakfast bar, then reached inside for my wallet. I rummaged through my extra leotards and gymnastics gear until I found it. Hayden took off his jacket and draped it on the cushioned seat of one of the barstools. Holding on to the high back chair, he twisted and turned his body while keeping his feet in place, and cracked about every bone in his spine. The sound ricocheted through my silent condo. I glanced up.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"Not in the slightest."

I held out my credit card to him. "Here, order us some dinner. I don't care what it is, I'm not picky, just get us something good. I need to take a quick shower." And wash Kova off me.

Hayden took the card in his hand. "Is this one of those black cards?" He flipped it over and tried to bend it.

"Yup. Do your worst to it, you won't break it. It's made of titanium."

His head popped up, his jaw slack. "You know you can buy, like, a Bentley on this card, right? I once read someone bought a thirty-million-dollar teacup with the card." He paused, brows angled toward each other. "Who buys a teacup for thirty million? Teacups are so delicate and fragile. Could you imagine if it broke?" He snapped his fingers. "Thirty million down the drain, just like that."

I shrugged and shook my head. A light laugh escaped me.

"How did you get one?"

"My parents each have one and you can add one person to the account. So, my brother, Xavier, and I were added. I'm on my dad's, he's on my mom's."

"That's awesome."

"I'm going to jump in the shower, but I'll be quick," I said, heading for my bedroom.

"Need a hand?" Hayden shouted in jest and I laughed.

I grabbed some clothes and made my way into the bathroom. Once I cranked up the water and waited for it to heat, I removed my leotard and sweat pants. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. All the work I'd put in since coming to World Cup was beginning to pay off.

There wasn't an inch of fat on my body—not that there had been before—but where I used to just be thin, I was now toned, my muscles sculpted but with soft definition. Upper arms curved with new strength, my stomach had obvious abs, and my hips were profound with obliques. Turning around, I tilted my head to the side to get a better view. My ass was round and firm and high, with an arc that could rival a supermodel's. Steam fogged the mirror as my gaze fell to my legs. Thighs were noticeably larger, firmer, solid. Pliable, yet tender.

Pulling my hair tie out, my hair fell around me. The wine undertones laced perfectly with the rich brown waves. The curled ends tickled my breasts causing my nipples to pucker in response. I looked down. I was almost positive my breasts had grown too, but not by much. Maybe it was the muscle growth behind the fatty tissue that caused them to look bigger. Maybe it was my wishful thinking and my eyes playing tricks on me. Because what girl didn't want bigger boobs?

I checked the water temperature with my fingers, then stepped under the shower. I sighed, the sound vibrated in the back of my throat. I closed my eyes as the piping hot water cascaded down my overworked body. I loved a scalding shower, even though Mom insisted it would wrinkle my skin.

As I washed myself, I imagined how the night would play out. I wondered how Hayden would react and if he'd come to understand. To the outside world, it was a hard pill to swallow. Inappropriate. Corrupt. Vile. Appalling. People would say Kova was a disgusting excuse of a man, that he stripped me of my innocence, possibly even tainted me. And while I wanted to agree with those things out of spite because I was furious, I also knew they weren't true. There was more between Kova and me than just sex. He didn't strip me of anything I didn't willingly give to him.

Our connection altogether was extremely difficult to defend. He understood me, my dreams and ambitions; but more importantly, Kova understood what gymnastics gave me—individuality and freedom. A singular way to express my true character and show my resilience in the world. I was my own person.

We connected on a different level, I just needed to make Hayden see that.

Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower and wiped the mirror with my palm before quickly drying off. I dropped the towel and slipped on clothes, then I blow-dried my long, thick hair.

Anything to stall time.

Opening the bathroom door, my stomach twisted into knots. I took a hesitant step, steeling myself, before padding across the plush carpet to the living room. The closer I got to Hayden, the closer I was to revealing the truth.

"Chinese," I breathed out, stepping into the kitchen.

He smiled, trying to cover the agitation around his eyes. The past few hours had weighed heavily on him and that upset me. He didn't deserve to be dragged into this shit.

"I ordered you the sweet and sour chicken."

"Thanks," I said, then hurried to the refrigerator to avoid eye contact. I grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to Hayden, then grabbed one for myself. I uncapped it and took a sip, watching him. The silence between us was dense, I didn't know how to broach the subject.

"If you think I'm using chopsticks to pick up rice, you have another thing coming. I can't understand, out of everything that could be used to eat rice with, someone thought two sticks would be best," I blurted.

"You mean, zhu?"

I finally looked up at him. "Zoo? Like where animals are caged and put on display?"

Hayden barked out a laugh and I felt myself easing into a smile. "No, zhu means chopsticks."

I paused. "How the hell do you know this? It isn't common knowledge."

He regarded me with a gaze that said he was fully aware I was dodging the real conversation.

"My parents went through an adventurous phase where they wanted to try food from different cultures. I know that it's hashi in Japanese and in Korean it's something else."

I feigned disappointment, placing a hand over my chest. "I'm a little let down that you don't know what it is in Korean."

"Stop being a wiseass. Want to eat at the coffee table?"

We moved to the living room and sat down next to each other. We opened the lids and a puff of steam appeared before my eyes. I inhaled in delight. It'd been a long time since I had Chinese and I couldn't wait to dig in. Hayden plucked a few packets of sauce from the bag and tore them open.

Before I could take a bite, I needed to address the topic at hand. A lump formed in my throat as I turned toward him and rested my knee against his thigh. "Okay, Hayden, what do you want to know first?"

He shook his head. "Eat first, then we'll talk." He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small flask. He held it up between us and shook it. "Vodka."

I stared at the stainless-steel container. Liquid courage was everything I needed and didn't need. "Vodka? I hate vodka. You couldn't pick something else?"

"Hey, it gets the job done, and you have a lot of explaining to do, so it'll help. I thought we could make a game of it."

A game. That's what my life came down to. A fucking drinking game.

Shame veiled my pounding heart. Averting my gaze to my crisscrossed legs, I chewed my lip. I wondered if Hayden would look down on me or see me any differently. Tightness seized my chest and I tried to rub the ache away. Tears prickled the back of my eyes. This mess was my problem and I had only myself to blame. Crying wouldn't solve this.

"Hey," Hayden said. "I know what you're thinking."

"You can't possibly," I mumbled.

"I'm not going to judge you. I promise. I just want to know what happened, Adrianna. Help me understand."

I looked at him. "Okay, maybe you did read my mind," I said through a sad chuckle. "If I must do this, you better drink with me."

A friendly smile lit up his face. "I can't get sloshed, I have to drive home."

"Stay the night," I suggested, not giving it a second thought. "But let your sister know first so she doesn't call in a panic tomorrow morning like she did last time."

His brows angled toward each other. "Do you want me to stay the night?"

"I think I need you to stay," I said. He accepted, and gratitude in the form of tears filled my eyes. I glanced up at the ceiling to hold them in. My jaw trembled. Once I got my emotions under control, I said, "I don't know if I have any clothes that will fit you to sleep in though."

Hayden leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. He pulled back and looked down. "Don't worry. I sleep in my boxers."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I climbed onto his lap and buried my face into his shoulder. I squeezed him with all my might and let out a weighty breath. A few tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. Hayden held me tight, comforting me. I needed him to hold me, to tell me everything was going to be all right. I needed him to make promises, ones I knew he'd hate to keep. The kind that would cause him to struggle between morally right and wrong.

"Shhh…" he said when I sniffled. "It'll be okay. We'll figure something out, but it will be okay. I promise."

I nodded, sniffling. Something in my gut had me on edge. His words comforted me, but I was certain this was a changing point. My life would never be the same. Snuggling into him, he rubbed circles on the small of my back. I was grateful for Hayden and his friendship. His head dipped and his cheek met mine. We sat in silence, save for my soft weeping, as he let me unload my tears on his shoulder.

I needed to come clean, and soon I would, but in this moment, Hayden was exactly what I needed.