Chapter Two
Annie's heart beat a little faster while she waited for the train to come to a complete halt in Carrlochry's small station. It was only Annie and one other passenger she didn't recognise who got off. Years gone by she would have known who they were. Times have changed, and a lot of Carrlochry's properties were now owned by incomers, as Gordon Marshall called them. Some of which were second homes too. Growing up, Annie probably knew every single family there. She smiled at the man who stared blankly at her before talking loudly into his iPhone. Annie's life in the city taught her not to take his snub personally. Instead, she pulled up the handle of her new Paul Smith suitcase, a gift to herself in the January sales, and wheeled it away from the platform on towards the exit. She grabbed her phone from the pocket of her long black cardigan and searched for a message from Paul. She was disappointed not to see one and texted him a short message.
“Have arrived safely. Speak soon. I love you x”
Tired from the three-hour train journey, Annie was torn between wishing her dad would hurry up and wanting to catch the next train straight back to her safe life in the city. She could be anonymous there. Not like here. Everyone she would encounter this weekend knew Annie well or at least they thought they knew who she used to be. They knew what Annie did and why she left. Nausea rose in her stomach until she took control of her breathing and closed her eyes, grounding herself from the urge to flee. She glanced down at her watch and frowned. Her dad had said he'd be there to meet the train, but half an hour passed and Annie was still waiting. She watched a buzzard perched high on an ancient oak in the field opposite the railway station. She pondered what he'd be doing this weekend and wondered if he'd like to swap places with her, just for the weekend. Annie didn't fancy a permanent shift with the blood thirsty predator but if he was able to help her out for a couple of days she'd be eternally grateful. Instead of calling Gordon, whom she thought was probably en route anyway, she trailed her expensive suitcase over the uneven track that passed as the main road into the village; all the while wishing she'd worn more sensible shoes and not her Michal Kors, T-strap sandals. She had forgotten how uneven the road was. The hum of a Land Rover distracted her from the pain of another stumble over another stone and she figured it was her dad. When the vehicle raced past, peppering Annie's jeans with dirty water from the muddy puddle in the pot hole of the single-track road, she let out a loud squeal. The driver saw what he'd done from his rear-view mirror and raised a hand in apology before reversing the Land Rover towards Annie and lowered the window.
“I am so sorry.” He raised one hand and covered his mouth with the other; stifling a laugh when he saw sprinkles of muddy water on Annie's cheek.
“I'm glad you find this funny.” Annie felt the moisture on her face and rubbed the liquid away. “If you'd been paying attention, you would have seen me and slowed down”
“You're right; again, I'm sorry. Are you going into the village? I can take you as my way of apology for your drenching.”
Annie stared into the handsome stranger's emerald green eyes and considered his wide smile and rugged features. She felt a slight flush land on her cheek when she became aware of her attraction to him.
“Do you know the Marshall farm?” she asked.
The man grinned. “I certainly do; hop in.” He leaned over and opened the passenger door to her and tapped the seat. “That's where I'm headed.”
Sat next to him, Annie guessed he must be well over six-foot-tall and built like Sylvester Stallone in his Rambo days. She couldn't take her eyes off his muscular arms as he changed gear and the way his hands gripped the steering wheel so firmly made her blush. She cleared her throat and sniffed herself back into focus.
“What are you going up there for?” Annie was intrigued by his business with her dad.
The handsome stranger leaned over and held out his hand.
“I'm Billy Lawson, you must be Annie.”
His eyes pulled her to him as he gently shook her hand.
“Yes,” she stuttered, “pleased to meet you, Billy. Dad says you're a great help to him.”
If Annie had known how attractive her dad's farmhand was she'd have come home sooner. Stop it, pull yourself together, she chastised herself.
“Dad was supposed to pick me up. Do you know what happened to him?”
Billy shrugged his broad shoulders which protruded from his vest top—perfectly tanned as is expected of men who work outdoors all year round.
“He didn't mention that to me, but he did say you were staying this weekend. You're here for Craig and Kate's wedding. I think he's looking forward to seeing you.”
Annie doubted that very much He was probably dreading their time together as much as she was, she imagined.
“Mm, maybe.” She forced an awkward smile at the idea of her father's enthusiasm for her visit right before the Land Rover turned sharply into the driveway up to the Marshall farmhouse, the vehicle bouncing violently.
“Jesus, this track needs some work!”
Annie was shocked by the extent of repairs needed to the farm entrance. The sign post to the farm was hidden behind an overgrown broom hedge which looked like it hadn't seen a trimmer in years and the pot holes were the size of cavernous asteroid strikes.
“Sorry about the bumps.” Billy chuckled and pulled on the handbrake outside his cottage across the yard from the main farmhouse.
He reached onto the back seat to retrieve Annie's case and their hands brushed gently as she took it from him. Annie ran her fingers through neatly cropped black hair and cleared her throat with a small cough. Her mounting nerves were drying out her mouth intensely. She swallowed hard and inhaled a huge deep breath before moving slowly towards the front door. As she reached for the handle, the sound of Billy's voice behind her gave her a start.
“I'll be seeing you then,” he smirked, “and you're welcome.”
“Yes, sorry; thank you.” Annie didn't have time for his macho nonsense. “Maybe I'll see you later.”
She offered an awkward smile in the hope that would suffice before watching him give a nod and salute as he turned to his own front door. Annie exhaled loudly and pushed down the handle and walked anxiously inside. The smell of the hallway flooded her mind with a barrage of memories, good and bad. The mess that greeted her shocked her immeasurably. Dad was getting on, she realised, but this was extreme, like something from a channel four special documentary. Left and right, lined up along the hallway were piles and piles of newspapers. In some places, the tower grew to five foot tall. The coat stand come dresser they'd had as long as Annie could remember stood forlornly, struggling under the weight of months of dirt and grime. It was almost impossible to see that there was a mirror in the middle of it. She was aghast at the realisation that the grey lampshade on the ceiling was actually the canary yellow one that Patsy, her mum, bought in 1990. The windows were thick with grease. Annie didn't want to rest her expensive suitcase on the filthy carpet in the hall for fear of something jumping into it in a bid for freedom from its disgusting confinement.
“Dad,” Annie's voice echoed throughout the farmhouse, “Dad, it's me.”
Noise from the kitchen attracted Annie's attention. Inhaling a deep breath was harder this time as the stench invaded her nose. She swallowed back her nerves. There was no going back, and Annie gently laid a finger on the kitchen door to push it open slowly. She stood briefly in the doorway watching her father shuffling from the fridge to the sink. He was dishevelled and unshaven which alarmed Annie greatly. His trousers bore the stains of several days wear. The kitchen work tops were filled to the brim with dishes in several phases of use from clean to mouldy with filth. In that tiny moment, before Gordon Marshall noticed her, Annie wanted to cry.
“Dad,” she whispered and watched her father turn quickly to the sound of the unexpected voice. His first instinct was a frown of confusion followed by a warm smile of recognition accompanied by a brief hug. The smell of stale sweat invaded Annie's nostril, making her feel nauseous.
“What are you doing here?” Gordon Marshall smiled.
Annie was stunned into silence and clasped her hand to her mouth. A tiny tear escaped from the corner of her eye and trickled down her cheek until it dripped onto the sticky kitchen vinyl. She instantly sniffed back her shock and took off her cardigan to hang it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. She pinched the moisture from her eyes.
“I'm here for Kate's wedding.” She watched him search for the information, hiding his embarrassment behind a lie.
“I know, I'm just pulling your leg.” He rubbed her shoulder. “You're needing a bit of meat on those bones.”
He's maybe just getting a wee bit forgetful, she chastised herself until Gordon's next bombshell made her blood run cold.
“Mum will get a chance to feed you up a bit, eh.”
Annie turned on the kitchen tap and closed her eyes to hide her tears from her dad. She squeezed the last of the washing up liquid into the sink and swirled the bubbles through her fingers. The water from the hot tap was stone cold.
She and Billy Lawson needed to talk.
15 March 1996
Lisa and Matty were gone ALL weekend. They've gone somewhere with Lisa's mum and dad; I didn't know where and Danny didn't say. I'm not sure he cared. Kate said she wouldn't lie for me but I knew she would if my dad asked anything, not that he would. Danny let me in the back door just to be sure no one saw me. I didn't care who knew but for now, I'll do what Danny thinks is best. We had beer and talked. He said Lisa was always on his back about stuff. He said she's always crying, and never even brushed her hair some days too. And she's even got wee Matty crying all the time. Her mum and dad think she deserves a treat so they have taken her away for the weekend. The weekend is more of a treat for Danny because last night we had sex for the first time. He said he loved me and that I am so beautiful that he can't help himself. I am so happy I think I might actually burst. Kate is going to be so jealous when I tell her, but she will have to promise not to tell Craig. Lisa is his big sister after all.