Chapter Fifteen

The need to leave immediately took over when I saw him stumble. He was clearly drunk, and I knew nothing good could come from a confrontation. Bee-lining it over to Izzy, I reached for her arm but was pulled back before I made contact and spun around with no choice but to look into the eyes of the man I so desperately wanted to still hate but couldn't. There was so much heartache and pain visible. 

"Let me go."

They were the only words I would allow to escape. I refused to ask if he was okay one more time. 

"Shelby, please don't—" 

I couldn't take him finishing that sentence. After how hard I tried to get through to him, I just couldn't. 

"Please don't what? Push you away? That's exactly what you did to me when I—"

"Can we talk? I just want to talk to you. Can we, please?" 

His rambling made it even harder to understand him.

"No, I'm done with all of this."

I attempted to walk away, but he pulled me back, that time so close I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he gave his final attempt.

"If you never speak to me again … If I ruined my only chance … Fuck! I'm not that guy, Shelby. I was never that guy."

I wanted to throw my hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming but his words, although they slurred, still dripped of desperation and had me giving in.

"Five minutes, Jase. That's all I'm giving you." 

"Thank God."

I grabbed his arm and began to pull him through the masses toward the front door. We almost made it out when I heard Izzy scream, "Hold up!" Everything in me wanted to keep pushing myself out the door, but when I looked back, she was making her way to me.

"Who's this yummy snack of a man? You know I must approve, but from the looks of him …"

"Izzy, this is Jase."

She stopped advancing and went stock-still, taking in the one man she desperately pleaded with me to avoid. Jase wouldn't meet her stare. I think he was truly focusing on not swaying which was a good thing. She was ready to pounce. 

"So, Jase," she dragged her words out to make her point. "What are you doing here? Are you stalking her now?"

He didn't answer which only made me fear it was true. His hands began to flex, and I watched as he opened and closed them, trying to gain what little control he could.

"Izzy, please do me a favor and let me talk to him for a second. I'll be back in a minute."

She didn't look happy, and her eyes showed concern, but she waved her hand and then walked away toward the dance floor. I was grateful it went so easy and hoped the next few minutes with Jase would go just as well. We could go back to avoiding each other and the world could be a better place for it. 

"Come on."

When his eyes met mine, my heart skipped a beat. I wanted to slap myself silly for it, too. Nothing about that man should still be found attractive yet my feet hadn't moved and I was still staring at him.

"Red."

God, the way he could look at me. It was like I walked on water in his eyes. Like all my faults disappeared and he saw only perfection. 

"Let's walk."

I took his arm and led him through the door and out to the parking lot I had just come back from. Right in front of me was his truck. How I missed it the first time was beyond me. We walked until we reached the grass on the side of the building, and then I came to a stop.

"Are you going to be okay if I let you go?"

His balance was shot, which raised one distinct question I needed an immediate answer to.

"When did you get here, and please don't tell me you drove yourself?"

He attempted to stand on his own two feet but then fell to the ground on all fours.

"Jesus, Jase, this is ridiculous."

"I didn't mean to do it."

"Well, pacing yourself helps, you know. Drinking as much as you clearly have will always end in the same result."

He sat up and then scooted until he could rest his back against the outer wall of the bar. Placing his hands over his face, he rubbed them up and down then lifted his chin to look at me.

"Come here." His right hand slapped the ground next to him. "Sit with me." 

I took a seat next to him and looked back up to the night sky. We sat there for several minutes before I was ready to either get answers or be done.

"Why are you doing this, Jase?"

"I don’t want you hate me. I'm not someone you should be getting close to. I was a fool to think I was okay."

He was rambling again, and nothing he was saying made sense. I made one last attempt and turned myself to look at him.

"What was that man talking about?"

"It’s a long story."

"I have the time if you're willing to explain."

"You don't want to know."

"I need to know so I can help you."

"Nothing you can do will help me."

"Well, drinking isn't going to do anything, either. How did you get here? Did you come with anybody?"

"I drove."

I wanted to smack the crap out of him for his insurmountable stupidity.

His eyes closed, and he looked two seconds away from passing out when he whispered, "I just want those eyes back."

"Jase, you aren't making any sense. Where are your keys?"

He didn't move. 

"Jase, your keys, where are they?"

His right hand went into his pocket and out came a key ring. I grabbed them from him before he could fight with me and then stood up.

"Stay here. I'm going to get Izzy and be right back."

"She's right to hate me."

"Maybe so, but I still need to get you home. Don't move."

I left him to walk back into a packed bar. She wasn't hard to find even with the crowd. All eyes were on her in the center of the dance floor. I was careful of my boot not getting stepped on as I made my way through the people and finally reached her. She had her eyes closed with Joe behind her, grinding back and forth, making me want to laugh.

"Hey!" 

Her eyes sprung open, and immediately she sprung off Joe to rest her hands on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good, but I need to get him home. Are you ready?"

She looked back at Joe who was standing there practically raping her with his eyes. 

"You want me to leave … now?"

Of course I did. She didn't know Joe any better than a random stranger.

"Well, he's in rough shape and drove himself here."

Her eyes bounced back and forth from me to Joe until he stepped forward and asked what was going on.

"She wants to leave and take ass wipe home."

Joe looked to me. "Who's ass wipe?"

"Jase is wasted and drove here."

He went from not understanding to all-out shock.

"Jergensmeyer is here? Where?"

"Outside."

Joe began to walk away, and Izzy followed like a puppy dog. I walked behind them shaking my head. I had never seen her act like that over any man since I met her. Joe swung the door open practically ripping it off the hinges before he shouted, "Jergensmeyer! Where the hell are you, dude?"

I walked out the door and grabbed Joe's arm.

"He's over here."

I made my way around the corner and found he had fallen over.

"Jesus!"

Izzy was behind me, and apparently didn't take what I was saying seriously. Joe bent down beside him and whispered something in his ear that caused Jase to sit up and look straight at me. He was green and appeared to have already thrown up. The grass on the other side bore the proof.

"What did you say to him?"

I was wondering the same thing but wouldn't have asked. Thank God Izzy was blunt to a fault. 

Joe stood up and laughed before looking back down at Jase.

"I just told him Shelby left with another dude."

I didn't see the humor, but Izzy took it to a whole new level.

"Is he that much of a freak over her? I mean, seriously?"

"No. He's just loved her all his life is all."

"What?" There was no way Joe was telling the truth.

Both of their heads snapped in my direction making it obvious that once again I was caught thinking out loud.

"Oh, please, tell me you didn't know. We all gave him shit for it."

Jase threw his head to the side and threw up again.

"This is ridiculous. Somebody call a cab."

I looked at Izzy standing there with her hands on her hips like she had just spouted out the smartest idea ever.

"We don't have taxi service out here."

After I answered her, I went to Jase and knelt down by his side.

"We're going to get you home, okay?"

He grunted but wouldn't open his eyes. I turned to Izzy. "Sorry to cut your night short."

Her shoulders shrugged in defeat but Joe was quick to throw in his two cents.

"I have to close the bar down but she can stay with me, if that's okay with you?"

Her face lit up, and there was no way I could refuse her as I stood back up to meet her eyes. 

"Are you sure you want to stay?"

“If you won't get mad. I came here to spend time with you."

"I have a feeling tonight isn't going to be much fun. There's no reason for both of us to suffer."

"Amen to that. But can you tell me why this guy is your responsibility? I mean, so he's had a crush on you. Big deal. Tons of dudes felt the same way in school."

I opened my mouth but couldn't find an answer that I felt made sense. So I stuck with the only truth I knew.

"He isn't this guy you're seeing tonight. Someone said something about his past and brought back memories or something. I don't know but—"

I was cut off when Joe asked, "Somebody actually brought up the bomb?"

Both Izzy’s and my face fell in shock.

"Oh, crap, you didn't know? How is that possible? It was all over the news for days."

Jase groaned and then went silent. I was certain he passed out. Then my focus went back to Joe.

"No, I have no idea what you're talking about. What bomb?"

His hands went through his hair like a nervous tick before he looked at me again. 

"Jase was in charge of routine searches through the housing. He got caught up when a child came running through an area that was supposed to be secured. Another member of his unit thought he had already cleared one of the houses and went in. He apparently did everything he could to warn the guy, but it was too late. The bomb went off."

I didn't realize I was shaking until I attempted to pull my hand away from my mouth. Izzy was shaking her head back and forth before she said, "Jesus, that's just awful."

I bent down to Jase's side again, but that time I saw something in him that broke my heart as I rubbed the hair back off his forehead. 

"Joe, can you help me get him to his truck, please? I want to get him home."

"Sure thing, Shelby. I'm really sorry I had to be the one to tell you. Seriously, I thought everyone knew."

He walked over and put his hands under Jase's arms, lifting him off the ground, and then guided him over to his truck. I began to follow them when Izzy grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Shelby, look at me."

I didn't want to hear any more talk about how I should stay away. He needed a friend, and I was willing to be that even if the world saw it as a mistake. When I met her stare, her eyes softened. 

"Just be careful."

"Why does everyone keep saying that to me?"

"Because we see what clearly you don't yet."

"Which is?"

"You're falling for this guy."

"I am not. He just needs a friend."

"Okay. I'm not going to argue that. He does. But you have always been strong-willed and passionate when you care about something, and I don't see this as being any different."

"You're overthinking all of this. Now, go have fun and tell me all about it in the morning."

"Oh, I definitely will."

"I had no doubt."

I hugged her goodbye before I made my way to the truck. Joe had already loaded Jase in and met me at the driver’s side door.

"Hey, I'm really sorry you didn't know."

"Don't worry about it. Actually, a lot of things that didn't make sense do now."

"I'm not sure who said what to him but he came back damn near a hero. That bomb went off and all hell broke loose. They were under fire and the witnesses say he went into stealth mode. He even took out a sharp shooter."

I knew stories could get embellished and half of what Joe was saying was probably just that. What was important to me was making sure he was going to be okay.

"Thank you for your help. And, Joe, make sure she has a good time."

He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows making me laugh. 

"Have no doubt about that."

I climbed up into the truck and instantly rolled down the windows before I backed out of the parking lot and headed to his house. My mind raced with the memories from only a few days before when we were talking about his tattoos. No wonder he was upset, but the way he pushed me away made me realize when he sobered up, I was going to meet that man again. The one that came to me begging to make things right again was drunk out of his mind. It was going to be a losing battle, but in that moment, I refused to give up.