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Just an Illusion - EP by D. Kelly (27)

Amelia – Present Day

“I’m finished.” Well, caught up to real time anyway. Even so, I can’t believe I just wrote a book about our lives in three days. I’m not sure I’ll ever do anything with it; this book was for me and Sawyer. After all, we’re all that matters in this relationship. It’s sad it took me writing it all out to realize that, but I do realize it and I hope that’s enough.

“I’m proud of you, Princess. Send me the last chapter so I can read it and then I want to take you for that drive.”

“Actually, can you come with me for a minute? I want to show you something first.”

Sawyer stands and holds his hand out to me to help me up. Before I take it, I fire off the chapters to everyone else who is out there waiting for them with baited breath. “I need to pee. Can you tell them I sent them the rest and meet me back here?”

He kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

After using the restroom, I splash my face with cold water and look in the mirror. I’ve aged the past few years, not in a bad way, but I’m no longer the girl who climbed on their bus that day with high hopes for breaking a curse and keeping her demons at bay.

“Ready?” he asks with an easy smile, and I grab my keys. “Where are we going?” I shake my head at him and lead the way to my old room. Noah’s room.

“Impatient much? We’re going right here.”

“You locked the door?” he asks incredulously.

“I wanted to be sure you stayed out.” When I swing the door open, Sawyer gasps behind me. He walks around the room in circles before turning back to me.

“Why?”

“Because I’m head-over-heels in love with you, Sawyer Weston, and because it was time.” Boxes are stacked and labeled neatly in the corner, and all our pictures and photo albums are stacked up on the dresser.

“What are you doing with it all?” he asks hesitantly.

“Well, that was my biggest struggle of all. I know his things could benefit a lot of people and make decent money for the foundation, but I think the person who should decide what happens to them is Nate. When he’s old enough, he can go through all of it and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. I packed the office, too. We just need to move all the boxes to storage with the rest of my parents’ things.”

“I can’t believe you did this all by yourself. What about these?” he asks, gesturing to the photos on the desk.

“Yeah, that’s the hardest part, so I thought we could figure it out together. No matter how much you wish you were first, I can’t erase Noah from my past, and I don’t want to. And I think Nate should grow up in a house where there is a representation of the love between his parents as well. I can take everything out of the frames and put them in photo albums if hanging any of them on the wall will hurt you.”

I turn to him and brush my hand across his cheek. “Believe me when I say, hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do.”

Sawyer’s fingers trail over the photo of Noah and me on our wedding day. “Will there be photos of the two of us on said walls?”

Wrapping my arms around him, I pull him close to me. “There will be an overabundance of photos of us. I want our love to shine everywhere it possibly can. Two years in the dark is a long time, Sawyer. You’ve led me into the light and I’d like to stay here with you, if that’s okay.”

He crushes his lips to mine and I open for him immediately. I’ve desperately missed his touch these past few weeks. When we part, his eyes are filled with love. “Does that mean you want to stay here at the beach?”

“For now, while we renovate our new home. I was thinking we could let Darren and Cadence stay here indefinitely. His house haunts him because of Belle and this house will still be ours, we have a lot of happy memories here. Besides, I don’t want to erase my memories of Noah and there are great memories here. But you’re right, it’s time to make our own memories, in our own home, with our own family.”

“I love you, Amelia Weston.”

“I love you, too, now go read that last chapter so you can take me where you wanted to.”

When Sawyer and I left, everyone was sucked into the book. They barely even looked up at us as we walked out. Now, we’re pulling into the drive of his house which is lined with twinkly lights as far as the eye can see.

“What is all this for?” I ask, and he grins.

“You’ll see. Let’s go down to the gazebo.”

As we walk hand in hand along the lit-up path, Sawyer smiles the whole way there. We take a seat and listen to the frogs and crickets chirping. I have to admit, it’s peaceful.

“After we left the house and I gave you the ultimatum, I felt like shit. I knew I was in the wrong for a lot of reasons and Darren and Wyatt had no issue reminding me of it every five minutes. It wasn’t until we were up at the cabin and I was by myself under the stars that I was smacked in the face with a fact I failed to see before.”

Sawyer’s eyes are shining with sincerity as they gaze into mine. “I’m a cocky bastard, and it’s probably why I assume a lot of things without giving them much thought. That first night up there, thinking was all that I did. And then I implemented my plans.”

“What plans?”

“You’re about to find out, and I’m glad I did it this way or you’d have never believed me otherwise, especially after you beat me to the punch by showing me Noah’s room and agreeing to move in with me.”

“Sawyer, you’re being awfully vague.”

He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it. “I know, but maybe this will help.” Soft instrumental music begins to play; it’s so subtle it sounds like it’s coming from the trees themselves. Wyatt walks out holding up a big poster board.

“We’re going to play a dating game of sorts to see how well I know the two of us.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“As a heart attack.”

I’m in shock but I’ll go along with it. This is so un-Sawyer-like. “Alright, let’s play.”

“Good evening, I’m Wyatt and I’ll be one of many hosts this evening. Our first question of the night is to Amelia. Well, they’re all to Amelia, so let’s get that out of the way. Mel, if someone asked you if Sawyer loves you what would you say?”

“I’d say yes.”

“Ding, ding, ding,” Wyatt says, flipping over the card, “Sawyer’s answer was yes.”

Wyatt walks off to where I can’t see him, and Eli appears holding a new card.

“I’m Eli, one of your sexier hosts tonight. The next question is, if someone asked Sawyer if Amelia loves him, what would he say?”

“He’d say yes,” I answer without hesitation.

“You’re correct!” he says, flipping the card. “Amelia is two for two.” Eli walks off and J replaces him.

“I’m J, your next host, and the best thing about me being here tonight is I don’t have to watch your man mope anymore. Seriously, Mel, it was borderline pathetic. Good luck on your question. Before Sawyer left, he gave you a ridiculous ultimatum … do you think he would actually leave you if you didn’t comply?”

This one is harder because Sawyer was serious when he left. But Sawyer is so much like me, passionate and heated in the moment. “No, he loves me too much, and I love him too much to give up.”

J flips the card and flashes his own sexy grin “The card says, ‘No, and I was a dick for doing it.’”

Darren struts out this time waving the card above his head, and it makes me laugh. “Darren here, studliest host of all. Your man sure does know how to pout, Mel, but you know what else he knows how to do? Brag about his woman. You should have seen how fucking proud of you he was when he started reading your book. Jesus, woman, he wanted to come straight home and wreck our weekend of drunken debauchery. Luckily, the fates and the weather colluded against him.”

“Fuck, Darren, your card,” Sawyer growls at him, and Darren flips him off.

“See? He’s an impatient fuck, but he’s your impatient fuck, so I guess that’s something. The question to you, my dear Amelia, is the following. Even if you two face adversity for the rest of your lives, and if Rory never gives you the time of day again, would you still remain faithfully in love with Sawyer? He was also asked this question, so I want both answers.”

“My answer is absolutely, his was probably something like ‘fuck yeah.’”

He flips his card over and jumps up and down. “That’s my girl! She nailed both answers on the card, word for word.”

Darren walks away and Eli comes up carrying two cards and gives them to Sawyer. He pats his shoulder, wishes him luck, then turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Love you, baby girl. Can I read your book now?”

“Of course, Eli, I’ll send it to you when I get home.”

As he walks down the steps, he turns around. “Hey, Mel? Am I in it?”

“You know it, Eli. You’re a part of my life, right?”

“Always and forever. Later, gators, we out.”

Sawyer and I laugh as the guys walk off into the darkness.

“What’s all this about, Sawyer?”

“I’m getting there, Princess. Like I said, I had a bit of an epiphany that night. I realized everything I’d been saying to you was just words. All of my demands … get rid of Noah’s things, move into my house, we need to fuck, have my babies … none of my demands were backed up by any promises.”

“Sawyer, you’re not being fair to yourself.”

“No, Mel, I wasn’t being fair to you. Why should you give into everything I wanted when I wasn’t offering you anything in return? Sure, you had my love, and I hope you know it’s forever, but that’s just another empty promise, or it could be. I spent so much time worrying about stepping on Noah’s trail I didn’t realize I was missing opportunities to blaze one of my own.”

“We’ve both made mistakes, Sawyer, and I think tonight has proved we’re trying to fix them.”

“That’s what I want, Mel, more than anything. Close your eyes for a minute.”

Honoring his request, I close my eyes and my heart begins beating rapidly. I love when he gets like this and can’t wait to see what he has in store next.

“Open your eyes.”

After opening them, I blink a few times, but the image in front of me isn’t changing. Sawyer is on the ground, on one knee, holding a card that says “Will you marry me?” in one hand and a ring box in the other.

“Are you serious?” I ask, blinking back my tears.

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. I’ve asked you for all the things I’d ask of my wife but didn’t have the forethought to actually ask you to be my wife. I just thought it was a given, and that was my biggest fucking mistake. Marry me, Mel. Make a home with me, make a family with me, and let’s build our legacy together and fuck all the damn time.”

The last line makes me laugh so hard I lose the grip on my tears and they flow down my cheeks. “Yes, I will marry you, and make babies with you, and a home with you, and definitely continue building a legacy with you.”

“No fucking?” he asks with a pout.

“Isn’t that a given?” I ask with a smile. “But there needs to be some love making in there, too. How else will we make all those babies?”

Sawyer drops the card and holds up the next one. It says “She’ll say yes.”

“Were you that sure of yourself?”

“Hell no, but I hoped your love for me was just as strong as mine for you.”

He stands, pulls me to him, and opens the ring box. When he hears my gasp, he grins in the sexiest way. “You’ve done the traditional ring, but I wanted something that represents us.”

In the box are two rings—a black gold band for a man and a black and rose gold ring for me. The center is a princess cut pink sapphire flanked with diamonds, with diamonds around the band, and the wedding band is all diamonds and pink sapphires in an alternating pattern. It’s breathtaking.

“Sawyer, I love it. Where did you find something like this?”

After he slides the engagement ring on my finger, he closes the box and tucks it in his pocket for safe keeping and then pulls me into his embrace.

“Remember when I said I’d been wanting to put rings on your finger for a while now?”

I nod, and he continues. “I had them custom made. I guess that was the beginning of me blazing my own path, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

“I love them and I love you. Take me home, Sawyer, kick everyone out and make love to me.”

“It will be my pleasure.”

When we arrive home, everyone is waiting for us in the living room. We might have taken an extra-long detour to make out a bit before we got here, but who can blame us? It’s been weeks since Sawyer has touched me properly.

We walk in hand-in-hand and immediately notice all their Kindles are closed. Karen is crying and Rory is sitting cross-legged on the couch. Anna and Wyatt are whispering and laughing.

“Do you want to tell them?” I ask Sawyer, and he pulls me close.

“Before you all talk to Mel about the book and the last few days in general, we have news.”

Darren, Eli, Wyatt, and J all wear the same smug looks on their faces. Even if they didn’t stay to listen from the sidelines, they know my heart.

“We’re getting married,” Sawyer tells them excitedly.

Karen is the first to jump up and congratulate us.

“Amelia, you made it through. I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” she says, pulling me into another one of her epic squeezy hugs.

“I wouldn’t have been able to without your love, Karen, thank you,” I whisper into her ear, and she holds me a little tighter.

After everyone makes the rounds and fusses over my unique ring, Rory finally approaches us.

She sighs and looks at us with apologetic eyes. “I owe you both an apology, a big one. Mom and Diane tried to tell me it wasn’t my place to judge you, but no one was sticking up for Noah, you know? It hurt so much to think you both forgot about him so easily. I realize none of this was even close to easy for you, either of you. Can you forgive me?”

Sawyer pulls her into a massive hug. “You’re my sister, Rory, there’s nothing to be forgiven for. If anything, I’m the jerk. We’ve never been as close as we should be, but I’d like to work on changing that. Noah would have been proud of you for sticking up for him. I know I was, even though I was pretty pissed, too.”

“I’d like that.” Tears stream down her cheeks as she turns her gaze to me. “What about you, Mel? I was awful to you.”

“You were protecting my husband, Rory. I didn’t like your words, but I understood your passion behind them and was thankful you were still looking out for Noah. I really did love him and I always will in my own way. We all will. Noah may not be here in the flesh, but he’ll always be here in our hearts.”

I pull Rory into a hug so she realizes all is forgiven. Family is more important than any grudges and from here on out, I hope there won’t be any more anger.

“They’re gone,” Sawyer says as he closes the door to our bedroom behind him.

“Indeed, they are. What are we going to do with our time?”

“Actually, I have a question for you. Something you didn’t explain in your book. Or maybe I missed it. What was the errand you ran after leaving the cemetery?”

With a smile, I point him toward the bed. “You caught that, did you? Go sit down and I’ll show you.”

Sawyer kicks off his shoes and takes a seat. I’m already in my pajama bottoms but didn’t want to put on my camisole just yet. Once he sits, I climb on top of him and straddle him. Reaching into the bedside drawer, I pull out a blindfold we’ve been having some fun with lately.

“Put this on.”

He bites his bottom lip as he slides it over his head. “We’re getting kinky tonight? Does this mean I get to spank that luscious ass of yours?”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, Weston, but maybe.”

After taking off my shirt and bra, I hop off and remove my pants and panties, too. He sits perfectly still and bites his lip again. I straddle him and pull his lip ring into my mouth.

“You know what it does to me when you tease me with your lip ring.”

He grins. “I know.”

I pull his hand between my legs so he can feel exactly how turned on I am. His hardness grows beneath me and he groans. He pulls his hand away and I hate feeling the loss.

“Keep the blindfold on, take off your clothes, and let me ride you, Sawyer.”

“Do I get to fuck that dirty mouth of yours, too, Princess?”

“If you’re lucky,” I reply, watching as he carefully maneuvers out of his shirt without knocking the blindfold off. I scoot off of him while he lies down and tugs his pants and boxers down, but I’m impatient and pull them off the rest of the way.

“I want your back against the headboard.”

“You’re sexy when you’re bossy,” he says as he quickly complies.

I lower my mouth to his cock and he hisses as he laces his fingers into my hair and pushes me down onto his length. Once I’ve lubricated him with my mouth, I release him.

“You’re being a tease.”

“Trust me, you’re going to love the reason why.” I climb on top of him and slide down his length. The guttural moan that comes next is everything I was hoping for and then some.

“Condom, Mel … no fucking condom …” His words are strained, as are the muscles in his jaw. I love how fucking tense he is, how his hands are gripping my hips as if he’s afraid he’s going to do something he shouldn’t.

“No more condoms, Sawyer. We’re going to start working on some siblings for our son. Condoms would be counterproductive, don’t you think?”

“Shit, Mel, it feels so good. I’m going to come.”

“Take off the blindfold, Sawyer … now.” I know he’s probably going to come fast once he takes it off, but Sawyer recovers quickly and I’ve got no problem helping him rise to the occasion again.

“Holy shit, Mel!” he exclaims as I slam myself down on his cock. I want him to feel every sensation right now as he looks at me. His eyes are locked on my chest, but I’m clenching his cock hard as he’s moving my hips into a rhythm that’s about to set me off.

“Fuck, Sawyer!” I cry out as I come around him. He doesn’t hold back, his release spills inside me and the sensation is beyond comparison. Sawyer’s hands are still locked onto my hips as we both come down from the incredible high we just experienced.

“Don’t you dare fucking move.” His eyes have never left my chest. “Princess, that was the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Who knew sex without condoms would be like that?”

Leaning forward, I kiss him and he opens to me, his hands finally leaving my hips and weaving through my hair as he funnels his love into our kiss. I feel him begin to harden inside me. I knew it wouldn’t take long for him to be ready to go again. When he pulls away, he pushes me back so he can look at me. His fingers move up to the tattoo over my heart, the one proudly displaying his name.

“Why did you do this? Especially when everything was so up in the air.”

Covering his hand with mine, I hold it over my heart. “Come on, Sawyer, as much as I was worried you’d leave, I still knew deep down you could never do it. We’re connected too deeply for you to abandon our love. As for the why … there are a few reasons.”

“Such as?”

“Most importantly, you own my heart so you should have a place there. The three most important men in my life have a place on my body now.”

He looks confused. “I don’t get it.”

“I know, baby, but I’m about to explain it to you. When I got the Weston tattoo it was for Noah, but it was also for me and our kids. It was my way of showing him I was accepting the love of his family into my life, his whole family, and that includes you. I loved the idea of the placement of the tattoo being where I would grow future Westons in my body. Each one of my kids will grow above that name, they pass under it as they come out of the womb, and it was also me declaring myself a Weston. Your family is my family.”

“Noah never said anything,” he replies thoughtfully.

“I know, it was a private discussion. There’s something important you need to realize. Something I didn’t realize you were doing until you said so. Look me in the eyes, Sawyer Weston, because this is important.”

His green eyes meet mine and I smile. Taking his hand, I trail his fingers down to the Weston tattoo. “There isn’t an inch of my body I don’t want your hands or lips to touch. My body is my own and my tattoos are for me, just as yours have significance to you. I’m not going to let a piece of art on your body that may make me think of another woman keep me from enjoying every bit of you, Sawyer, and you shouldn’t, either. Even if … he’s your brother.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Nope, no arguing. What we do together is between us. How we enjoy each other is our business. The last time I looked you were still a Weston, and I’m about to be one twice over. Don’t give power to the tattoo, it’s just a thing. I belong to you, Sawyer, and my body is yours to do with whatever you please.”

“Anything?” he asks with a lascivious smile.

“Any fucking thing you want. I’m done holding back, Sawyer. I’m yours for the taking.”

“Well, Princess, let’s get started on the next fifty years,” he says as his mouth closes over mine.

Three months later, Sawyer and I have finalized the plans for our new house and the construction begins today. We’re excited for this next chapter in our lives, and Darren was completely stoked when we said he could live here with Cadence. We did offer to let him come with us because our home is their home, but he wants to start his own new beginning with his daughter. I don’t blame him but I’m going to miss them, especially Cadence; she’s like my own child at this point. I’m not sure how she and Nate will deal with being apart but I’m pretty sure we will be one big rotating sleepover.

I got up early this morning and made Sawyer and me some coffee. I’ve got a surprise for him and have debated long and hard over how to give it to him. I think I nailed it, though. Karen came by last night and dropped off freshly-baked cinnamon rolls which will go perfect with our coffee.

“Morning, Princess,” Sawyer says with a yawn as he enters the room in his boxers.

He’s so damn good-looking. I’d be tempted to walk him right back into the bedroom if it wouldn’t wreck the surprise.

“Morning, I made you coffee and heated up your mom’s rolls for us. Come sit with me.”

Sawyer takes his usual seat across from me and I can’t help smiling when I look at him. A few days after he learned about my tattoo, he got one of his own. Same script, same place, but his says “Amelia” over the top of a Princess crown.

“Thanks, Mel. I don’t know why I’m so tired this morning,” he says, yawning again.

“I’m pretty sure I do. I think I have phantom cock syndrome.” Sawyer busts out laughing. “What? It’s got to be a real thing. You can’t fuck for that long and not have phantom sensations,” I say with a shrug.

“You should send that to Rhymin’ Rieanne. Can you imagine the kind of song she could make out of that one?”

“I’m terrified to imagine and yet completely intrigued by the thought.”

“Hey, what the fuck is up with my coffee cup?” he asks, sloshing it side to side.

“What do you mean?”

“This is my favorite cup, Mel, and someone wrote inside of it. What in the world is going on?”

I was so curious to see how he’d react to this. Part of me thought he wouldn’t notice until the cup was empty, the other part thought he’d pour it out. Since he’s at the sink now, it was definitely the latter.

After he pours it down the drain, he looks inside of the cup and then rapidly turns around, practically running to me with the cup in hand.

“Is this real?” he asks as he shoves the cup in my face. Written on the inside of the cup is “We’re having a baby.”

I take the cup from him and bring his hand to my belly. “It’s real, Sawyer, you’re going to be a daddy again.”

He crushes his lips to mine, kissing me frantically, and then suddenly slows it down as if enjoying every second our tongues meet in harmony.

“Mommy! Is it our turn yet?” Nate calls out, and I break away from Sawyer laughing. I forgot about them. Oops.

“Yes, baby, come on out.”

Darren, Nate, and Cadence come down the hall wearing the following shirts respectively: Uncle, Big Brother, Cousin. “Daddy Sawyer, Mommy says there’s a baby in her belly!” Nate squeals.

Sawyer scoops him up and kisses him all over his face until Nate is laughing hysterically. “There is a baby in Mommy’s belly. We’re going to have to take really good care of her now so the baby gets here safe and sound, just like you did.”

“Can my daddy see the baby, too?” he asks.

“Yeah, and my mommy? Can she see?” Cadence adds, and Sawyer scoops her up as well.

“I think your mommy and your daddy can see everything going on down here from heaven because they are the angels who watch over us.

Listening to Sawyer talk to the kids about Noah and Belle always gives me chills. Now that they’re getting older he talks about them a lot more. We all agreed to be as open as possible with them about everything; so far, it seems to be a good plan. These two love their parents in heaven as much as they love the ones here on Earth.

“Alright,” Darren says, kissing me on the cheek, “I’m taking these two to Wyatt’s to show off our nifty new shirts and to drop off theirs.”

“Theirs?” Sawyer asks.

“Yeah, I thought we should start this pregnancy off right. We’re going to do a maternity photo shoot with everyone wearing a shirt with their title and relationship to the baby. We’ve got a huge family so it will be a nice big portrait we can put on our new photo wall in the house.”

Sawyer looks at me with his jaw hanging open. “You made shirts for everyone in our entire family and extended family?”

I pull a bag from the chair and hand it to him. His is black and says “Daddy” in white letters across the front. “I did, but we need to wait until I have a belly because this one is mine.” I hold up a pink shirt that says “Mommy” over the breast area and “Baby” on the belly area.

“God, I fucking love you.”

“And on that note, we’re out. Come on, munchkins, let’s go see Jake!” The kids run off ahead of Darren and he gives us a wave as he takes off behind them.

“We’re having a baby, Sawyer,” I say, unable to contain my excitement any longer.

“One of many, I hope,” he adds wistfully.

Unlike my first pregnancy, I have no doubts this is everything I’ve ever wanted. Nate has proven to me that motherhood is nothing like I was afraid of. It’s filled with kisses and hugs and an abundance of love. Noah was the perfect man, and we had an amazing life, but the fears I used to carry with me never had time to be completely eradicated by Noah’s love. Especially since he was taken so suddenly.

After Noah left us, Sawyer stepped in and took over. I’ve grown into the person I should have always been with him. The woman I wish I could have been for Noah. The woman Noah deserved to meet and to love. I know he’s watching us and he’s proud of me. I am who I am because he gave me the best gift of all: the ability to love and be loved in return.

“I hope so, too. I’m ready to fill that massive house with love.”

“Our home, Amelia,” he corrects.

“Our forever home, Sawyer.”

 

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