Chapter Thirty-Four
Jason
I was excited about taking Lucy camping, but the weather started to darken the morning we were set to leave. Lucy came over with a few things packed in a small bag, and I got nervous when I saw her phone sticking out from the side. I knew I’d been specific when I told her we were going camping in a tent without any sort of power supply around, and it made me wonder if she was really cut out for this camping thing.
We’d been hunting and fishing together, but that doesn’t mean someone can abandon their luxuries and so-called necessities in order to slum it for a weekend.
She looked excited as we tossed everything into the back of the truck, and I covered it with a tarp to keep the rain off it as we drove out to the lake. The area wasn’t incredibly remote, but with the poor weather creeping in, it was pretty deserted. We pulled up to see people packing up their tents and belongings, so we were able to snag a tent setup right by the lake.
The top of the tent I had was see-through but not mesh, and it comfortably accommodated two people. I had a queen-sized air mattress with a pump that ran on batteries, and coupled with the fact that no one was going to be around, it really was going to be romantic. We’d get to hear the sloshing of the lake every morning and watch the stars through the see-through top at night, and we’d be completely safe from the rain on all sides.
When we got there, I started pulling the tent out immediately. The quicker we could get it up, the quicker we could get comfortable, and I was surprised when Lucy took it from me. She began unzipping the bag and pulled the poles out, and I watched her while she quickly worked on putting everything together.
While she was shivering in the rain.
“Jason, you wanna work on getting that mattress blown up? Once I’m done here, we can slip that bad boy in, get your little heater going, and get comfortable while we bust out some jerky.”
All I could do was watch her for a while. She looked so content and in her element, and it dawned on me that she really was as perfect as I thought she was. Here was this woman, clad in jeans and a massive sweater, putting together a tent in the freezing cold drizzle while she smiled and gave me direction on what to do. She had no issues taking the reins in order to ensure we got things going properly and efficiently, and I felt something in my chest yield to her.
This was a great idea.
She got the tent set up, and I pushed the mattress into the tent. We piled everything else in quickly before the rain really picked up. I got the small heater going inside the tent before we snuggled down onto the mattress, and I wrapped her up in my arms while we watched the rain hammer down on the tent.
“I haven’t been camping in so long,” Lucy said.
“Well, you seem to be in your element,” I said.
“I really am. I used to go camping all the time as a kid, and then David and I picked up the trend when we were together.”
“Danielle was not a camper. Not by a longshot. I could get her fishing sometimes, but that just wasn’t her thing,” I said.
“David and I didn’t do it as often as I wanted to, but we tried to get out two, three times a year. We briefly talked about having kids before he got sick, and our one thing was we wanted to take them camping so they could grow up with the memories we did,” she said.
I tightened my grip around her, and she pulled her head onto my chest. It was a wonderful feeling, her being able to talk freely about David with me. But the idea that I could talk freely about Danielle without her recoiling was something I never thought I’d find in another woman.
She really was incredible.
“Wanna go hiking once the rain stops?” I asked.
“In the mud and dirt? Yes, please,” she said, giggling. “Just don’t expect me to hop in the lake to wash off.”
“Nah. We can slum it for a weekend before I demand you shower twice a day to my liking,” I said.
“You know what would be fun?” she asked. “Taking Jenna camping. If you’d let me, I’d love to take her.”
“I actually haven’t been camping with Jenna yet,” I said.
“What? If she were my kid, she would’ve already been camping at least five times by now,” she said.
“I don’t know. Things were so chaotic after Danielle died,” I said. “I was so intent on raising her and reading books because I was so lost. My hunting and fishing took a backseat to this little girl I had no idea what to do with, and I guess our lives only started to settle down when we got here.”
Lucy raised her hand to cup my cheek, and I nuzzled into her palm. Even with how dreary and cold the weather was, her skin was toasty warm against mine.
“In some odd way, even though Danielle wasn’t an outdoorsy person, it reminded me of her.”
“How so?” Lucy asked, turning her body toward me.
“I mean, she didn’t hunt or camp, but she loved being outside. She had this rocking chair that went everywhere with us, and no matter what, she’d stick that thing on a porch and rock for hours. She loved the feeling of the wind through her hair, and when we were dating, we’d always taken drives through the mountains to watch the leaves change.”
“They’re beautiful when they change,” she said.
“Jenna has always been an outdoorsy kind of kid, like her mom. And I guess, the idea of taking her camping and being outdoors all the time, it hurt.”
“I know,” she said as her thumb ran along my cheek. “I know how that feels.”
“Did you camp much after David died?” I asked.
“This is actually my first time since,” she said.
I turned my head to face her, and the empathy in her eyes freed me in way I’d never been. I was being held by a beautiful woman with big, shining eyes and long, honey hair, and she was understanding every word that was flying from my mouth. The years I’d spent trying to find someone I could talk to, trying to find someone who understood, had pushed me to this moment.
And I’d almost thrown it away because I had been an idiot.
“Lucy, I need you to understand something,” I said. “I didn’t just bring you out here to try and repair things between us.”
“I know, I know,” she said, sighing. “You brought me out here to make sweet, sweet love to me underneath the stars so no man would want me after you.”
I chuckled at her response before I turned my body completely toward her. Her hand slowly slid down my face before she spread her palm against my chest, and I couldn’t help but allow my cold fingers to migrate up her sweater. They hit her skin, ice to a fiery flame, and she jumped at the cold before she settled against my touch.
“I brought you out here because I want to share all of this with you. These are areas of my life that are important to me, and with everything that’s happened these past two weeks, I just—”
I got lost in her eyes for a second. She pressed her body closer to mine, and my hand slid from her stomach around to her back. I could feel her breath pulsing against my nose before she planted a cold little kiss to the tip of it, and I nuzzled her before her voice broke the silence.
“I care about you, too, Jason,” she said.
“I don’t just care about you, though. You’re important to me. You’re important to Jenna. Fuck, you should’ve seen the look on her face when you weren’t there for Thanksgiving. I had this twisted fucking notion that I was doing the right thing by her, and it all ended in bullshit I created for no good reason.”
“Jason, it’s all right,” she said.
“It’s not all right. I-I want a relationship with you. You’re important to me. I feel myself healing whenever I’m around you, healing from everything that happened with Danielle. My God, losing her destroyed my world, Lucy. And I never thought I’d ever love again until you came along.”
“What?” she asked breathlessly.
I realized what had fallen from my lips, but there was no stepping back from this. I pressed my hand into the small of her back and scooted her body closer to mine, and then I let the phrase fly like she had a few weeks ago.
“I love you, Lucy,” I said.
She pulled back and studied me, and I could see the panic flaring high behind her eyes. The phrase slipped from my lips as easily as it had graced her ears, and for a split second, I thought she was going to get up and walk away. I thought she was going to grab her things, rip this tent open, and hike all the way back home.
Just like she had at that restaurant.
“And I’m so, so sorry for what—”
She crashed her lips into mine, and all at once, the world came smashing down around us. The rain battered our tent, and the lake sloshed higher onto the shore than usual. The whirling of the heater swirled around our bodies, and the mattress squeaked underneath our bodies. But the only thing I could take in was how warm and sweet Lucy tasted. All I could take in was how her body pressed deeply into mine. All I could take in was how perfect it felt to have her curves underneath my fingertips.
And then, she ghosted over my lips the phrase that had made me melt the first time she’d said it.
“I love you, too, Jason.”
My eyes fluttered open, and I watched her face flush with lust. With love. I could feel her nipples caressing my chest, aching in the cold and trying to reach out toward warmth. I ran my hands up her sweater, feeling every inch of her while she shivered into my touch, and I pressed a kiss to her forehead before she opened her eyes.
“I never thought I would ever feel like this after David,” she said. “I kind of swore off men. Everyone, really. My sister, my parents. I almost quit my job.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked.
“Because David hated the food there, so he never came in to eat. It was the only thing in my life that hadn’t been touched by him,” she said.
“But you’re here,” I said. “In a place and a situation that reminds you very much of him. Are you all right with that?”
“I’m more than all right,” she said. “I’m happy.”
I smiled against her forehead before I trailed kisses down to her neck. My hands migrated to her jeans, easily undoing the button while my teeth slowly grazed over her skin. Her body arched so perfectly into mine, so desperate for my touch and anything I was willing to give her. I wanted to tease her. To push her to the brink time and time again before tears of desperation and frustration dripped down her cheeks. I wanted to catch those tears on my tongue before I gave her release after release, her body trembling and shaking until all she could do was collapse into me.
But I knew I wouldn’t have the patience. I wanted her, needed to feel her against me. I needed to feel her juices on my tongue and swallow her tastes down. I needed to sink myself into her body while looking her in the eyes. I needed to wrap my lips around hers and drink her in because I didn’t know when the next time would be.
If Danielle’s death had taught me anything, it was to never pussyfoot around with something you wanted.
“Jason,” Lucy said breathlessly.
“You’re beautiful,” I said, murmuring into her neck.
And as she pulled my shirt over my head, my hands slipped into her jeans and slowly began to peel them from her legs.