Chapter 18

“So what’s going on with you?” Marian asked Danny as she pulled a chair over and sat down next to the weight bench he was using.

“What do you mean?” Danny asked. He grunted as he pushed the barbell up over his head again.

“It’s seven thirty a.m. on the day we leave for a game, so you don’t need to be here until ten, and yet here you are working out. By yourself, which violates the weight room rules by the way. Talk to me and I won’t fine you.”

“Ha,” Danny said. He lowered the barbell into the rack and sat up. He grabbed his towel and wiped his face and head. “I didn’t sleep well, so I figured I might as well come in and get something accomplished instead of lying there in bed. I’ll be good for the game.”

“How long have you been here?” she asked, leaning back and crossing her legs.

“Not too long.” It had actually been an hour and a half, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Umm-hmm,” she said. He never could put anything past her. “Yesterday when you jumped Reyes in the locker room, Cass said I shouldn’t get into it as a coach. So today I’m asking as your best friend. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me,” he said irritably. “Reyes was an asshole and I took care of it.”

“Reyes is always an asshole. What made yesterday any different?” Marian was staring at him hard. She was pissed and not doing a good job of hiding it. For all her blond, Southern, sorority girl prettiness, Marian could be one tough customer.

“He disrespected Carmina,” Danny said. He knew Marian already knew what happened. “Saying shit to us is one thing, but she didn’t do anything.”

“I can’t help but feel this has something to do with the upcoming Rough Riders game.” She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “I need you to keep it together. You’ve played Darren before.” Trust Marian to get right to the point.

“It has nothing to do with Darren or the game.” He didn’t even need to lie about that.

“Bullshit.” Marian leaned back again and crossed her arms. “Cass and Beau are stomping around and growling like bears, and you’re regressing.”

“Regressing? What the hell does that mean?” he asked.

“It means the old Danny Smith jumps his teammates in the locker room. The new Rebels Danny Smith doesn’t.”

“Maybe there’s just Danny Smith,” he snapped. “Maybe the one and only does both, depending on what the situation warrants.”

“And Reyes popping off a simple fuck you to Carmina warrants it? But the shit he’s been saying for months about me and Cass and Beau, not to mention some others on the team, doesn’t?” she asked. “That seems odd.”

“Carmina is different.” Danny got up and went over to the water cooler, reluctant to talk about his confusing feelings for Carmina.

“Is she? Well that’s interesting,” Marian said. “I thought she was sleeping with Tom.”

“It’s complicated.” Danny chugged a glass of water and leaned over to get another one.

“You’re talking to the queen of complicated,” she said drily. “I know what that means. So are all three of you sleeping together?”

“What?” He spun around and frowned at her. “No. Why does everyone assume that?”

“Everyone doesn’t. But I was there that night, too, remember? And you and Tom have been prowling together all season. It’s a logical assumption for those of us who know you. And, frankly, we don’t care. I mean, we care because we care about you and want you to be happy.”

“It’s an erroneous assumption,” Danny said stiffly. “Look, like you said, you were there. I can’t deny that I got off on what we did. But that isn’t who I am or what I want. Why do I have to keep explaining this to people?”

“What people?” Marian tried to sound cool about it, but he could practically hear the wheels turning in her head.

“Tom,” he said, blowing out an exasperated breath. “You. I know you both like that kinky shit, but I want a normal relationship.”

“My relationship is normal,” Marian said, clearly unperturbed by his observation. “For us. Danny, you didn’t do anything wrong that night. We fucked. You and me. And yeah, so you kissed a guy and you were in the same room as guys who were doing a lot more than that. My guys, remember? That night was about me, not you.”

“I know,” he said sharply. “So why does everyone keep turning it around on me?”

“Because you liked being held down,” Marian said bluntly. “You got off on it. And that tripped so many triggers in your head that you’ve buried your feelings about it ever since.” She tried to meet his eyes, but he turned away. “If you want to be with Tom and Carmina, then be with them. I can tell you from experience it’s pretty awesome, and no one—really, I swear—no one cares. Not anyone who matters, anyway.”

“Carmina and I had a…moment. But it’s over and she and Tom are going to give it a try. End of story.” He slammed back his second glass of water.

“A moment.” The silence after that was heavy, and he could practically feel Marian’s eyes boring into his back. “You know I’m not leaving it at that, right?” she finally added.

“You’re my best friend, not my confessor or my shrink,” Danny told her. He turned and met her stare with one of his own. “I don’t have to tell you shit about stuff that doesn’t concern you.”

“True enough,” she agreed without anger. “Carmina has some issues. Is that the problem?”

“No. Is that what you think of me? That something like her injury and the way she talks is enough to send me packing? That’s pretty damn shallow.”

“Then what is it?” she asked. Damn. She’d brought him right back to where she wanted to go. Peltz and the past. That was why, and she damn well knew it.

“I’m just not in the market for something heavy,” he said. “I’m enjoying being single and mingling. Isn’t that what you told me I should do? Stop brooding about the past and move on? Have some fun? Have a life? Carmina deserves someone who’s looking for what she’s looking for, and Tom is. It’s as simple as that.”

“Since when is Tom looking for something heavy?” she asked incredulously. “He’s more of a player than you are. He’s swinging at both teams. Suddenly he wants to settle down?”

Danny sat down in the chair next to the cooler. “I think he’s been on the rebound for a while. You know his story? About that little girl he was with for so long who dumped him? I think that’s still bothering him, and all the fooling around has been his way of coping.” He shrugged. “I don’t think he considered getting serious with anyone until he met Carmina. He’s had a thing for her for months. Everyone knows it.”

“I didn’t know it,” she said with a frown.

“You’ve been a little busy with your first NFL coaching job, a new relationship, and a winning season,” Danny said with a smile.

“Yeah, I guess there is that.” She grinned back. “You actually think I haven’t noticed that you’ve managed to avoid talking about Darren and the Rough Riders, don’t you?”

“Shit,” he muttered. “Back to that? Like you said, I’ve played him before. This time will be no different.”

“It feels different. It’s our last game of the season. We need to get through it and focus on the playoffs. The game doesn’t even have significance in the standings. Unless we lose to the Colts, in which case it will affect who we play. But the point is that Darren doesn’t have any control over us anymore, not even in this game. You need to focus on that. And as for what happened last summer, quit beating yourself up over it. So you like being held down. That doesn’t mean you’re like Darren. He was trying to rape me with his buddies. Completely different than what we did, which was consensual sex and pretty damn awesome. We’ve both been letting him control us for years, and now we’ve both moved on. That’s the best revenge.”

There was revenge, and then there was justice, Danny thought. And Darren Peltz would never face justice for what he’d done. Not unless Danny brought it. “I know,” he said. There was some satisfaction in seeing Marian so happy, in knowing she was over what had happened. But it wasn’t enough. Not for Danny. She was right. He couldn’t stand that he wanted—craved—the thing that Peltz and his buddies had been doing to Marian. The horrible thing that Peltz had to pay for. And Danny was so fucked-up in the head it turned him on. Hell, the idea of his best friend doing it to him turned him on.

Marian sighed and stood up. “I was going to rip into your sorry ass for what you did yesterday, but now I don’t want to.” She walked over and held her hand out to him and he took, clasping it in his, not like a handshake, but so they were holding hands. “I’m so glad you came to Birmingham,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I just want you to be happy.” He patted the back of her hand.

“I’m happy,” he said. It sounded unconvincing even to him.

“Not yet,” she said. She pulled away and headed for the door. “But you could be. Hey,” she said, then turned and faced him. “You’re not allergic to dogs are you?”

“No,” he said, puzzled. “Are you getting a dog?”

“No,” she paused in the doorway. “But Carmina has one.” She smiled and walked out.

“I should have gone to the game,” Jane said nervously. She was sitting next to Carmina on the couch in Sam’s apartment. Well, it was Jane’s, too. And King’s. For some stupid reason, they all still had their own places, even though all three of them pretty much lived here. Well, King’s mom and his sisters lived at his house, so she supposed that made sense. But Jane was throwing money away on that apartment. She shared it with her cousin Margo, who was a paralegal at a big firm downtown. Margo sat in the big chair to Jane’s left while they watched the Rebels-Colts game. It was a Thursday night game, the last one before the Christmas weekend.

“You had work,” Margo said absently. “And besides, every time you go to a game the circus follows you.” The circus was their nickname for the press.

“I know,” Jane said miserably. “But what if something happens?”

“Then it happens,” Carmina said pragmatically. “And you deal with it.” She knew from experience.

“I’m going to make popcorn,” Jane said, jumping up from the couch. “I need something to occupy my hands and my mouth.”

“Say that again and I’ll record it for Sam and King,” Margo called after her. Carmina huffed with laughter and Margo winked at her.

“So I hear you’re dating Tom Kelly,” Margo said. She stuck her tongue out at Carmina. “Bitch. I tried to get with him a dozen times and he didn’t take the bait. You are so lucky.”

“I am,” Carmina agreed cautiously. She didn’t want trouble with Jane’s cousin.

“Quit harassing her,” Jane called from the kitchen. “Clearly Tom wanted a nice girl.”

“Bitch,” Margo called out to her and Jane just laughed. “Seriously,” Margo said to Carmina, “I’m happy for you.” Carmina could tell she meant it.

“Thanks. He’s a great guy.”

“He’s fucking hot, is what he is,” Margo said, laughing. “I don’t care if he’s the Dalai Lama when he’s got abs like that.” Carmina didn’t know how to respond to that. “Are you the kind that kisses and tells?” Margo asked. “Because I’m dying to hear what he’s like in bed.”

“Not the kind,” Carmina answered quickly. The truth was she and Tom hadn’t had a chance to go to bed since their heart-to-heart talk two days ago. He’d been too busy getting ready for this game. And she wasn’t going to talk about the other time they’d been together.

“Just my luck,” Margo grumbled. “Jane, kick off,” she yelled. “She’s a terrible WAG,” she whispered to Carmina.

“I’m coming,” Jane said. She ran into the room holding a hot bag of popcorn by the corner. She tossed it on the table and shook her hand. “Dang, that’s hot. Has it started?”

“It is now,” Carmina said, pointing at the TV.

“What are you doing for Christmas this weekend?” Jane asked her.

“Staying here.” Carmina almost lied. Sam and King were going to stay in Indianapolis to spend Christmas with Sam’s mom, and Jane was flying up to meet them tomorrow. Since King and Jane’s families lived in Birmingham and they got to see them all the time, they decided to spend the holiday with Sam’s mom. King and Jane hadn’t met her yet. Sam had only agreed to go when Carmina promised she’d think about going home to Florida for the holidays. Sam had assumed she’d made plans to do so. She let him assume. But she didn’t want to see her family. The holidays were always hectic, and there were so many family members around. She didn’t want to deal with the intrusive questions and the matchmaking and the whispers behind her back. When Tom had told her he was staying in town, too, that had sealed the deal for her. He said Danny was staying, too, so the three of them were going to have Christmas dinner together. It sounded perfect to her, despite the potential awkwardness.

“Oh, no,” Jane said in horror, staring at Carmina. “Does Sam know? You know he’s going to lose it.”

“Sam does not run my life,” Carmina said firmly. “We had that talk yesterday. He needs to deal with my decisions.”

“You tell him, girl,” Margo said, snagging the popcorn bag.

“He just worries about you,” Jane said. “He doesn’t mean to overstep.”

“I know,” Carmina said, sighing. “He promised to give me some space. So he’s just going to have to deal.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine in Indianapolis,” Jane said. “King will talk him down. You know, my brother was the same way about me.”

“Sam isn’t my brother,” Carmina reminded her.

“He might as well be,” Jane said with a shrug. “That’s how he thinks of you.”

“I think of him as family, too,” Carmina admitted. “Just keep him occupied. He’ll forget about me.”

“We’ll call every day,” Jane promised.

“The Rebels just scored,” Margo said. “Smith for the touchdown. Would you two shut up and watch the game?”