Chapter 6

Tom looked around for Carmina, trying to be inconspicuous. Most everyone was sitting around talking about the playoffs. He kind of felt like they were jinxing it. The Rebels still had two more regular-season games to go, including the Vegas Rough Riders. He knew several players, including Danny, who were going to have a hard time with that one. Hell, Tom was going to have a hard time. Marian had become a good friend—her and Cass and Beau. They’d welcomed him, and made him part of their inner circle with Danny. He didn’t know how he was going to face that lowlife Darren Peltz on the field without killing him. He shook off his unease. No matter what happened in those two games, the Rebels were in the playoffs, even if they lost both. They were solid in third place in the conference.

Danny caught his eye, and with a subtle tilt of his head indicated the balcony. Tom frowned and Danny frowned back, tilting his head again sharply. Finally Tom got it. Carmina must be out there. Interesting. Usually Danny didn’t care who Tom hooked up with. Why was he being so pushy about Carmina? Not that Tom minded having a wingman in his corner. And he supposed Danny knew how into her Tom had been since he’d first met her. But still. Danny hardly noticed women. He’d clearly noticed Carmina. Tom looked back and forth between Danny and the balcony. He’d have to keep an eye on that situation. But for right now he was going to do as Danny directed and chase her down out there.

He went to the sliding door and looked out, and saw her sitting on a big chaise, her feet tucked up beside her. She had her arms wrapped around herself as if she was cold. He opened the door just wide enough to slip outside and closed it behind him.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “What are you doing out here all alone?”

She glanced up and gave him a quick smile. “Football talk,” she said, making a face. Tom laughed.

“I’m superstitious,” he admitted. “I don’t want to jinx it by talking about the playoffs too soon.”

“Ah,” Carmina said. She rubbed her arms.

“Here.” Tom pulled off his jacket. “It’s freezing out here. It’s only in the forties.”

“You’ll get cold,” Carmina protested.

“Nah,” Tom said honestly. “It gets a lot colder where I’m from. And muscle keeps you warm. Did you know that? Yeah. Muscles generate heat.” The look on her face made him mentally review what he’d just said. “Not that I’m bragging about having a lot muscles. I mean, I play football, right? So I work out a lot. That’s all I meant.” He thrust the jacket at her. “Take it before I say anything else stupid.” She was openly laughing as she took the coat.

“Thank you,” she said. “I was cold.” She sat up and pulled the jacket on.

“Then why didn’t you come inside?” he asked, bewildered.

“I get…awkward in groups,” she said. He could tell that’s not exactly what she wanted to say. She looked a little frustrated. “Uncomfortable,” she finally said, nodding, relief on her face.

“Is it hard sometimes to find the right words?” he asked. He pointed to his head. “Because of the injury?”

“Yes,” she said, surprise on her face. “Most people don’t like to talk about it.”

“You can be a little closed off,” he told her. “Sorry, I don’t mean to offend. I just mean you don’t seem really open to talking about something so personal.”

“I’m not,” she admitted with a wry half smile. “Not with strangers.”

“Am I a stranger?” he asked, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.

“No,” she said with a smile. “I can talk to you.” She pointed to her mouth. “See? Other people, not so much.” She sighed.

“You froze with Rasheed, didn’t you?” he asked, disappointed. He got the feeling he was being relegated to friend status, too, just like Nigel.

She nodded, looking miserable. “I thought…you know. But then he came over and nothing went right.” She shrugged. “I guess I’m not as ready as I thought I’d be.”

“Ready?” Tom asked. He shoved his hands in his pockets. He was getting cold, but he’d never admit it. Carmina saw it, though, and scooted over on the chaise.

“Would you like to sit?” she asked. Tom wasn’t sure if she sounded hopeful or just unsure.

“Yes, please,” he said. “Don’t mind if I do.” He remembered how she’d shrugged off his arm earlier and sat close enough to feel her body heat, but not touch her. He lay with his back resting on the raised chair back and bent his knees, his wrists on his knees as he looked up at the night sky. Carmina was turned toward him, her legs still curled up at her side. She sort of reminded him of a painting of Venus he’d seen once in a book. He’d like to sketch Carmina lying like that—naked. “You look very pretty tonight.” He glanced at her and she looked surprised but pleased by the compliment.

“Everything is easy for you,” she said quietly. Her words surprised him. Not the reaction he was expecting.

“Like what?” he asked. “Doesn’t feel that easy to me.”

A halfhearted smile flitted across her face. “You talk, laugh, make friends easily,” she said. “Everyone loves you. You always have…someone.” He got the impression that this time her hesitation wasn’t because she couldn’t think of the right word, but because she was trying to think of a nice word.

“I guess so. Yeah, I don’t have trouble meeting or talking to people.” He turned his head to look at her. “That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been shot down a bunch of times. Some people think because I get around and I like to goof off that I’m not very smart, or that I’m only looking for a good time. You know? So it has its downside.”

“You’re young,” she said wistfully. “Aren’t you looking for a good time?” She sounded kind of sleepy, so he scooted over in case she wanted to rest her head on his shoulder or anything. That sounded romantic. At least he thought it did. He was pretty good at sex. Romance was a little beyond him.

“Not that young. And yeah, maybe sometimes I am just looking for a good time, mostly because I know I can’t expect more from whoever I happen to be with.”

“That,” Carmina said, pointing at him. “I wish I could be like that. Just because it isn’t more doesn’t mean it can’t happen, right? A good time.” She nodded as if she’d made some important point.

“I guess?” Tom said, not sure what she meant.

“I told Sam that I wasn’t ready for more,” she continued.

“Ah,” Tom said, getting it. “That’s what you weren’t ready for.”

“Turns out I wasn’t ready for anything,” she said glumly. “I thought I was ready for a good time.” Tom couldn’t help it—he laughed.

“Be careful who you say that to around here,” he joked. “You may get more than you bargained for.”

“What if I said it to you?” she asked. Before he could answer, she was shaking her head. “Forget it. Forget I asked that.”

“Not on your life,” Tom said. He scooted closer and tipped his head so that their foreheads were touching and he was looking right into her eyes. “Are you asking me if I want to have a good time with you? And by good time, do you mean this? Talking and stuff? Or the good good time?” He wasn’t sure where Carmina fell on the dirty-talk scale, so he was keeping it clean.

“Which one do you want it to be?” Carmina asked. She wasn’t being coy or flirtatious. The question was way more serious than it should have been, considering the topic.

“I’d be pretty psyched for a good good time,” he admitted, jumping off the ledge.

“Me, too,” she admitted in a relieved voice, but she followed it with a frown. “But I mean it when I say I can’t do more now. You know that, right?”

“Why?”

She pointed to her head and made a face. “I’ve got a lot of work to do, still.”

“You came here tonight looking for someone to go to bed with, didn’t you?” Tom asked, picking up her hand and threading his fingers through hers. She nodded, biting her lip nervously. “Why didn’t you come to me right away? You had to know I was into you.” Her incredulous look was genuine.

“Me?” she asked. She shook her head. “No. I didn’t know. Couldn’t imagine.” Tom kissed her cheekbone, and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Yes, you,” he whispered. “From the first time we met.”

“Crazy,” she whispered. He felt her finger poking him in the chest. “You.” Tom let his hand glide over her hip and rest on her ass.

“This,” he said, squeezing it just a little, “has been driving me insane.” He groaned at how good that handful of plump flesh felt in his palm.

“My big booty?” she asked, and for the first time she sounded flirty.

“Your luscious booty,” he said. He kissed the corner of her mouth. “Can we get out of here?”

“Will everyone know?” she asked. He pulled back and saw she was frowning. He remembered how Rasheed had reacted. He didn’t want the guys to think that shit about her, either.

“You go first,” he suggested. “I’ll meet you at your apartment. What number is it?”

“Six twenty-five,” she told him. The look in her eyes as she gazed up at him was a combination of trepidation and starry-eyed lust, but the trust in them was shining through. It had been a long time since someone had given him his or her trust like that.

“I’ll be up there about twenty minutes after you leave,” he promised. “Do we need a secret knock?” She giggled and he was charmed. He didn’t think she did that a lot, not from what he’d seen.

“Okay,” she said. She sat up on the edge of the chaise and handed his coat back. She immediately began shivering. “Going in,” she said, standing up. “It’s freezing out here.”

Tom held his coat up to his nose—he could smell her perfume on it. He felt like a damned high school kid again, mooning over a girl, giving her his letterman’s jacket. Which he’d actually done with Theresa, his high school girlfriend who became his college girlfriend. But she dumped him because she didn’t want to be a WAG, an NFL player’s wife. He’d been way more into Theresa than she was into him. Tom had vowed never to let that happen again. Until he’d arrived in Birmingham, Theresa was the only person he’d ever been with. Now he felt kind of dirty because he’d slept around so much in the last few months. But Carmina didn’t seem to mind. He was just what she wanted—a guy who wouldn’t expect more. The problem was that he did want more, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. Not now. Maybe never. But he’d get to have tonight with her. She was game for that.

She gave him a little wave and a secret smile as she pulled open the sliding door. The light and noise of the party spilled out onto the balcony before she shut the door behind her. Tom checked his watch. Twenty minutes to paradise.

Carmina couldn’t believe she’d actually done it. She’d found a guy to have sex with. And not just a guy, but Tom freaking Kelly, the object of her fantasies.

Getting out of Nigel’s had been easier than she expected. Sam had looked relieved when she told him she was tired and just wanted to go home to bed. It wasn’t a lie, not really. Unless you counted it as lie by omission. But he didn’t ask, and she didn’t tell.

She jiggled her apartment keys in her hand nervously as she waited for the elevator to stop on her floor. When the doors opened she rushed down the hall. She dropped her keys while she was trying to open the door. God she was nervous. And scared. She hadn’t done this in years. Tom did it all the time. He’d be disappointed in her, she knew he would. What did she know about sex? The basics, sure, but she’d only ever been to bed with a handful of guys who were all as vanilla as she was.

When she finally got the door open Buster K came up to her whining, his tail wagging. She rubbed his ears and kicked off her shoes, slipping into her tennis shoes by the door. She had to walk the dog before Tom got there. She’d forgotten to mention that to him. What if she was still out when he showed up? She frantically slid Buster’s leash on and led him out of the apartment. At the doorway he sat down and stubbornly refused to leave.

“Come on, boy,” she cajoled. “Let’s go. Tom is coming.” She tugged the leash and he whined, trying to pull her back. That was when she realized she’d forgotten her key. “Good boy,” she said, rubbing his head as she passed and grabbing the key from the console table in the entryway. “What would I do without you, B. K.?”

Luckily Buster was more than happy to do his business right away and head back up. It was dark and cold and he liked to be in their cozy apartment on nights like this as much as she did. She’d barely gotten his leash off and filled his water dish when there was a quiet knock on her door. With trembling knees Carmina walked quickly over and opened the door. Tom’s head was down, but he tilted it slightly and looked up at her through his lashes with a sexy little grin.

“The coast is clear,” he whispered. He stepped into the apartment after she moved to the side to allow him to pass, and she closed the door. He looked around her Spartan apartment and then turned to face her. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi.” She gave him a stupid little wave and then felt like an idiot. Buster came out of the kitchen and wagged his tail as he walked over and sat down beside her. Tom leaned over and let Buster smell his hand before he rubbed Buster’s head.

“Game on?” he asked. It took her a second or two to process what he was trying to say.

“Oh, yes,” she finally said.

“So I can kiss you?” he asked. He stopped petting Buster. She appreciated that he was confirming she wanted this before making a move.

“Absolutely,” she said firmly, with a nod. “Please.”

“Are you sober?” he asked, hesitating in the middle of reaching for her.

“Completely,” she told him. “No alcohol.”

“Me, either,” he said. She reached for him and pulled him closer with a grip on his biceps.

She had butterflies in her stomach. A swarm of them, in fact. But she was determined to do this. She wasn’t even going to tell him about her struggles with the vibrators. She was going to act like this was a perfectly normal hookup, just a guy and a girl wanting to get it on. That was the secret, she knew it was. She needed a dick attached to a living, breathing man, and then everything would flow. It had to.

He stepped into her embrace and wrapped his arms around her, tugging her closer. His T-shirt was soft under her hands. Where was his jacket? He was big and solid under her palms as she slid them over his shoulders and around his neck. She hadn’t expected to feel both so excited and so turned on, not this quickly. But it was Tom Kelly, and he felt as good as she’d dreamed he would. She took a deep breath and inhaled the smell of his cologne. It smelled expensive and dangerously sexy. Then his mouth met hers and she forgot to breathe.

His lips were so soft. She hadn’t expected that. He tasted like toothpaste. Oh my God, he’d gone home and brushed his teeth. That’s where his jacket was. She panicked. She hadn’t brushed her teeth. Did she have bad breath? What had she eaten tonight?

“Relax,” Tom whispered against her mouth. “It’s just a kiss.”

Buster whined from beside her and she used it as an excuse to pull away from Tom. She needed a moment to get it together. “It’s okay, Buster,” she said. “Go to bed.” She made a hand motion and Buster trotted off to his bed, spinning around twice before laying down with a doggy sigh.

“That’s the most well-behaved dog I’ve ever seen,” Tom said appreciatively. “I’m used to them jumping all over me and barking.”

“Service dogs are trained not to do that,” she said. “Buster doesn’t have to do too many service tasks for me, but he still remembers his training.”

“What does he do for you?” Tom asked.

“Well, when I get nervous he keeps me calm and focused,” she said. “I used to get disoriented, but that’s passed, mostly. Sometimes when I wake up I get a little confused, and he helps then. He makes sure I don’t forget things. Like tonight, I went to take him for a walk and almost forgot to bring my key with me. He reminded me.”

“Did you just forget, like other people do, or was that because of the injury?” Carmina could tell the question wasn’t just idle conversation.

“I don’t know,” she told him honestly. “I was nervous and in a hurry, so maybe a little of both.”

“I don’t want you to be nervous,” Tom said. “This is about having a good time, right?” He grinned at her and she laughed ruefully.

“I can’t help it,” she said. “It’s been a while for me.”

“You just sit back and enjoy the ride,” Tom said. “I can handle the driving if you’re a little rusty.”