Chapter 17

“Can we have a sleepover?” Tom asked, nuzzling her neck. “My mom can call your mom.” Carmina snorted with laughter.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said affectionately.

“You got that right,” Danny agreed. “I’m going to bed. It’s been a day, and I’m done.” He waved as he walked out.

“I feel funny,” Carmina whispered, not wanting Danny to hear.

“That’s because I’m putting the moves on you,” Tom whispered back. He adjusted his hands so he was holding on to her ass and then he pulled her forward, parting her legs with his hips until she could feel his hard-on.

“I meant because I slept with Danny yesterday morning,” she said. “And now you want to sleep with me.”

“You showered with Danny,” Tom said. “That’s completely different.”

“It doesn’t bother you?” She didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“It does, but not in the way you mean,” Tom said. “Because he was able to get you off. I’m jealous of that. But he’s my best friend. If it had to be someone else, then I’m glad it was him.”

“It’s not a competition,” she told him. She brushed the hair on his forehead off to the side. It was so short it barely moved. “I do like what we do together.”

“I want you to love what we do together,” Tom said, pushing up to his feet. “Come on. I can see I’ve got some work to do.”

“I’ll stay for a little while,” she said as he pulled her down the hall. They passed Danny’s closed bedroom door. “But that’s it. I’m really tired. I am. It’s been a long day.”

Tom closed his bedroom door behind them and advanced on her. “Okay, a little while.”

“I’d like to talk,” Carmina told him up front. “We need to.”

“You sure are a strange woman,” Tom said with a sigh of regret. “You’ve got all this”—he waved a hand down to indicate his body—“alone in a bedroom and at your disposal, and you want to talk.” He rolled his eyes. “Just my luck.” She let out a squeak of surprise when he jumped onto the bed, twisting in the air to land on his back. “Okay, we’ll talk. But first you have to lie down with me.”

“What is this, truth or dare?” she asked, grinning. She slipped her shoes off and climbed onto the bed. Instead of lying down, she kneeled at the end of the bed facing him. This was going to be easier if they didn’t get too cozy. She needed to keep her head on straight, and any time Tom got too close, that was impossible.

“You started it,” Tom said. “What do you want to talk about?”

“You.” He looked surprised.

“Me?” he asked. “I’m an open book, a Wikipedia entry, a social media star. I can’t hardly breathe without someone filming it these days.”

“Yeah, about that…” Carmina said. “How did that happen? I mean, you just said that last year you’d only been with one person.”

“You want all the sordid details, huh?” he asked, grabbing his pillow and bunching it up behind his head as he leaned back against the headboard.

“Yep,” she said, readjusting, too, so that she sat cross-legged facing him.

“It’s not that exciting,” he said, making a face. “I was your typical all-American jock in high school and college. I grew up on a farm, in a little town in Nebraska called Seward.” He made air quotes. “America’s Fourth of July City.”

“Really?” she laughed. “Is it?”

“Yep. They have a huge celebration for the Fourth in the town square. It’s world famous. No lie. I was Mr. Firecracker, Fourth of July royalty in Seward.” He waggled his eyebrows and she laughed again.

“In high school?”

“Nope, third grade. I had to write an essay about why I loved living in Seward.”

“What did you say?”

“That I loved the people there and they loved me back. I felt like I knew everyone. So that even when I left my house I felt like I was home.”

“Aww,” she said sincerely. “That’s so sweet. I grew up in a small town, too. In Florida.”

“See?” he asked. “We have something in common.”

“Can you milk a cow?”

“Yep.” He nodded.

“Tell me more,” she said.

“Then is it your turn?” he asked. She nodded. “Okay. My high school girlfriend was Theresa Dunn. My college girlfriend was Theresa Dunn. Getting the picture?”

Carmina cocked her head to the side. “Why did you break up?”

“We both went to the University of Nebraska in Lincoln, which is only about twenty minutes from Seward. I had other offers, but Theresa wasn’t ready to go that far from home.” Carmina could see what was coming next. “When it was obvious I was going into the NFL draft, Theresa panicked. She didn’t want to leave Seward. I did. It wasn’t messy or ugly or anything like that. We’d become a habit, and it was time to go our separate ways.” He looked away and readjusted the pillow, but Carmina could tell he was doing it to hide his discomfort with the conversation.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Do you miss her?”

“A little.” He smiled. “Hard not to, since we grew up together. But she’s already moved on with a mutual friend who also wants to stay in Seward. I wish them both well. And for the time being, I’m keeping my distance. I think it’s best for all of us.”

“No guys back then?” she asked.

“Hell, no,” Tom said with a laugh. “In hindsight I’m sure I’ve known, like, fifty bi or gay guys, but I didn’t know shit back then. I was just amazed there was someone who’d let me fuck her.” Carmina laughed out loud.

“How did you discover you liked guys?” she asked.

“This is a weird conversation,” Tom said, blushing. “I’m trying to get in your pants, and you’re all about the guys I sleep with.”

“Not all about,” she said. “But…you say you want something with me. What about the guys?”

“I don’t know,” Tom said. She had to give him credit for honesty. “I’m not going to lie to you, I like sleeping with guys. There’s a rush to it. Maybe that’s just because it’s still new to me. But I haven’t been attracted to anyone the way I am to you in a long time. I can’t remember the last time I sat around talking with anyone the way we’re talking. Except Danny.”

She looked down and wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling her legs up and in. “So you really don’t mind what happened with Danny?”

“If you keep asking me that I will,” he said in a teasing voice, kicking her gently with his foot. “I know sex is kind of new to you again, right? And I get that. Suddenly your body is like, hey, whoa, I like this, I missed it. Let’s do it again!” He kept making her laugh. She hadn’t laughed this much since…she bit her lip. Since Richie. “Anyway, it worked, right?”

“You remind me of someone,” she said in a rush, not sure she should go there, but unable to stop.

“Yeah? Who?” Tom slid down and lay on his side in front of her, his head propped up in his hand. He reached out and rubbed his hand up and down her shin under her jeans. His skin was rough with calluses and it felt nice.

“A friend that I lost,” she said. “He used to make me laugh when there wasn’t much to laugh about.”

“Lost?” he asked, his hand coming to rest on her ankle. “How?”

“In Afghanistan.” She focused on his hand wrapped around her ankle.

“In the same attack where you got hurt?” he asked quietly. She nodded.

“You kind of look like him, too,” she said. “All-American.”

“What was his name?” Tom asked, scooting closer.

“Richie Berkovitch,” she told him. Saying Richie’s name usually hurt, but this time it was a dull ache instead of a sharp pain.

“Isn’t he in the picture Sam carries around?” Tom asked. Carmina leaned over and grabbed her phone off the table where she’d set it when they came in. She took off the cover and unfolded the picture hidden there. She showed it to Tom. “You carry it around, too?” he asked slowly. He took it from her. “This guy next to you,” he pointed. “This is Richie, isn’t it?” She nodded again. He looked at it for a second and then handed it back. “Sam carries it in his pocket, and sets it up in his locker during practice and games. You keep yours hidden away. Why?”

“Different kind of friendship,” she said, folding the picture of Richie up and putting it away again.

“Did Sam know?”

She glanced up at him, not surprised by his perception.

“No. No one knew. There wasn’t much to know. I was too afraid of getting caught. A few stolen kisses. Some promises. That’s it.”

“Damn,” Tom said softly. “I’m sorry, Carmina. I am.” He paused. “The last time you came, was it with Richie?” She shook her head.

“No. I wouldn’t let it get that far. I was afraid.”

“Yeah.” Tom rolled over and put his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. “I think I was afraid to be with guys until I got here. I tell myself I didn’t know, but the truth is, I did. I just ignored that part of me because I had this other part that genuinely liked girls, and that was easier. Especially in Seward, Nebraska.” He looked over at her and made a face. “I used to suggest stuff to Theresa, stuff we could try, but she always shot it down like I was crazy and disgusting, so I learned to keep my mouth shut.”

“Now I’m sorry,” Carmina said. She laid down with her head on his stomach, staring at the ceiling with him. “What kind of things?”

“Anal sex, public sex—”

“Of course,” she interjected. “What changed when you got here? Was it just not having Theresa around?”

“I got invited to participate in a group thing,” Tom said. “It meant a lot to the people involved, so I said yes. It changed my life.”

“I won’t ask who,” she assured him. “If they wanted people to know, you would have told me.”

“You get this stuff,” Tom said. “Most women would be all, Tell me, don’t keep secrets and stuff.”

“We all have secrets,” she admitted, thinking about her fantasy of Tom and Danny together.

“Yeah,” he said. They lay there in silence for a few moments. Then Tom asked, “So, are you going to tell me what the secret was that got you off yesterday?” She immediately rolled off the bed. “Hey,” Tom protested, leaning up on one elbow to frown at her. She grabbed her phone and walked to the bedroom door.

“Not tonight,” she told him. “Tomorrow.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he told her. He got off the bed and followed her to the front door. “Do I at least get a kiss good night?” he asked. “I’ll make it a good one.”

“They’re all good with you,” she told him. And they were.

Danny lay in his bed listening to the low murmur of voices from Tom’s room. Every time he heard Carmina laugh, his gut clenched. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed like that with a woman. He wasn’t funny. Not like Tom. Danny had a hard time being lighthearted and fun. He was more the intense kind. Tom liked to tease and flirt his way into someone’s bed. Danny just sort of bulldozed his way in there. But Carmina hadn’t seemed to mind his way. Hell, he’d made her come. And damn, she came hard. Just the memory of it gave him a hard-on. Or maybe it was her laughter that was giving him one. Hers and Tom’s. He’d always had a soft spot for Tom’s laughter. And he was not going there, he told himself firmly, rolling over and punching his pillow in frustration. His life was complicated enough, thanks.

The longer he lay there straining to hear what they were saying, however, the harder it was to deny he didn’t want to bow out. He wanted to go in there, slide into bed with them, and find out what they were laughing about. He wasn’t so insecure that he thought they were laughing about him. He knew better. Tom never would, and he was pretty sure Carmina wouldn’t either. They were both straight shooters. But he couldn’t go in there, because he hadn’t lied to Carmina. His head wasn’t on straight, and it wouldn’t be until this thing with Peltz was over.