Abby
I’m trying to understand the molecule of amoxicillin. In my textbook it asks me to name it according to IUPAC rules and here I am, looking at a blank page while my mind is on the guy who hasn’t talked to me for almost two weeks.
Sighing deeply, I try again.
7-oxo- 4-thia- 1-azabicyclo[3.2.0]heptane- 24-carboxylic acid… uggh. I can’t focus.
I listen for any sign of him, but the house is silent. Before he moved in with me, I would have liked this peaceful silence, but now it just makes me feel sad and empty.
I hate him for making me feel like that. He’s made me get used to a new routine, he’s gotten me out of my comfort zone and made me step into a world where there are lunch boxes every morning, home-made dinners along with Netflix, and where there are carefree moments like I had in that painting class. And now, he’s taken away everything… everything that I didn’t even know I’d miss before him.
Yeah, there it is… I miss him. I miss spending time with him.
And I’m hurt. I don’t know how to explain this. It’s like there’s a hole inside me between my stomach and my heart and it’s burning. I take a sip from my water bottle on my desk, but no matter how cold the water is the burning doesn’t stop. Maybe I have gastritis? Or maybe an ulcer?
I blame Brant for that, too.
I groan.
I’m so angry at him for showing me a world and then, without giving me a reason or a clue, he just stops talking to me, starts ignoring me. I hate that he put doubts in me, wondering if I did something wrong and what it could be.
Shaking my head I take a deep breath.
Enough of this, Abby. Forget about Brant. You don’t need anyone. You’ve never had a friend, why would you change it now?
With renewed determination all I feel toward him turns into anger and strangely the anger helps me focus on the molecule in front of me.
I don’t know how long I studied for, but it’s dark when my phone rings. I move my neck to each side to relieve the tautness in my muscles before grabbing it.
The ID says My Favorite.
I frown. Who can this be?
My thoughts try to go back to Brant, but I suppress them and answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Ah Abby, finally. I was about to lose hope.”
The voice is familiar, but after studying organic chemistry I’m not in my right frame of mind yet. “Who’s this?”
“I’m hurt, babe. It’s Levi. Your favorite,” he says.
A giggle escapes from me. I cover my mouth, but it keeps rolling.
He groans at the other side of the line. “Damn. I have a hard on just because of that sound, babe. You should do that more.”
I shake my head. “What do you want, Levi?”
“Would it be too much if I say you?” The teasing tone in his voice cheers me up. Weird, I know, but I have a smile on my face when I answer him.
“Will you be serious for a second? I’m studying here.”
“Okay, okay. I need your help,” he says.
“With?”
“I don’t understand this aerobic respiration.”
“Levi, I explained that to you yesterday.”
He groans. “I know, Abby. But it doesn’t make sense now that I’m looking at it and I have no idea what it’s trying to tell me. Can you just help me study it again?”
I sigh. “Okay, when?”
“Now?”
“What?”
“Professor set up a test for me about it tomorrow. Please, Abby.”
I bite my lip. It’s past eight and at this time of the night nowhere except the campus library would be open. But I know this is his last chance at not losing his scholarship. The professor is making an exception for him because he’s so good for our college football team, they’re not going to risk losing him.
“Abby, please. I know I owe you a lot,” he starts, but I stop him before he can continue with his begging. “I’ll be in the library in half an hour.”
“You’re the best, Abby. Thank you.”
Ending the call, I get up to change my outfit, but the knock on my door stops me.
“Abby?”
I frown when I hear his voice. It’s been too long since he attempted to talk to me. Seems like he decided to start talking, but now I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t answer as I grab a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt from my wardrobe.
He opens my door. “Abby, can I come in?” he asks.
I force myself not to look at him, even though my eyes tick like they want to have a glimpse.
“You’ve already come inside,” I snap.
“Ah, sorry. When I didn’t hear your answer…” he trails off. Taking a deep breath he asks, “I made dinner. Wanna do Netflix as we eat, like before?”
I turn to glare at him.
‘Like before’ he says. To say before there must be a point where things changed. Maybe there was, I just don’t know what or when it happened.
“I have plans. Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to get changed,” I say.
He frowns. “Plans? What plans? It’s past eight, Abby. You don’t go out at night.”
“Well, now I’m going out.”
Suddenly I have an urge to yell at him. I don’t yell. I don’t fight, but right now I want to do it.
“What’re your plans? Maybe we can go out together, hmm?”
“I’m meeting Levi, Brant. I prefer to be alone with him.”
What? The words that leave my mouth shock me. It almost sounds like I’m going on a date with Levi, like I want Brant to be jealous.
“You're meeting Levi? Why are you meeting with him now?”
I was about to keep leading him into thinking my meeting with Levi is more than what it really is, but I stop myself. Shaking my head I sigh. “I’m tutoring him on campus.”
“It’ll be close to nine when you get there, Abby. Why the hell do you need to tutor him at this time?”
I want to stomp my foot on the floor, but I force the urge down. “He needs me and I’m going to help him.”
“Help him? C’mon, Abby. You’re not the girl who helps people.”
I open my mouth and close it again when his words hit harder than they should. “Leave, Brant.”
“Abby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you,” he says, panicked. Pulling his hair, he groans. “Look, all I’m saying is I’m sure Levi doesn’t need your help at all. He’s just a jerk, Abby.”
I grab my clothes, deciding to change in the bathroom since he doesn’t want to leave my room. Passing by him I look him dead in the eye and let my anger seep into my voice. “It takes one to know one, right?”
I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if I have any right to be mad at him for not talking to me, but not hiding my anger and snapping at him surely felt good.
When I’m ready, Brant is on my tail until I reach the door. I don’t look at him and he doesn’t talk to me. Just when I’m about to close the door behind me he stops the door.
“I’ll drive you.”
“I don’t need you to drive me.”
“Abby, I’m already on edge that you’re going to meet that bastard. Just do me a fucking favor and let me drive you.”
He’s mad, almost furious. And it weirdly makes me want to smile.
I finally nod.
The drive to campus is fast, tense, and silent.
When he stops in front of the library, I open the door to get out but he stops me.
“When will you be done? I’ll wait here.”
“Go home, Brant.”
“Abby.” His voice is full of warning.
“Brant, go home,” I repeat.
“Abby, I’ll wait. If you don’t let me know when you’ll be done, I’ll come up with you and sit right next to you while you tutor poor little Levi.”
I glare at him and after a quick consideration I answer, “I’ll be done in an hour and a half.”
“Good, I’ll be here.”
“So, is it clear now?” I ask Levi when I finish explaining the same thing twice.
“Yes, almost. Can you repeat the Krebs cycle again after we take a five minute break?” he asks, leaning back in his chair and focusing on me.
I sigh. “Yes. Of course.”
“What’s wrong, Abby?” he asks after a few seconds of silence.
Looking up at him I frown.
“You’re… weird lately. What happened?”
I snort. “Aren’t I always weird?”
I expect him to smile and joke around, but he shakes his head. “You’re cute weird, not this sad weird.”
I shake my head. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Aren’t we friends?” He changes tactic.
“Umm, nope?”
“You’re killing me, smalls. Can’t you at least friendzone me? Even that will be enough, babe,” he says, playing with a loose strand of my hair.
I giggle, I can’t help it when he becomes so silly sometimes.
“Tell me what happened,” he insists, moving closer to me.
I hit my pen on the notepad to get his attention. “How about we focus on this Krebs cycle before we chit-chat?”
“I don’t know why I don’t understand this part. Cycle is the only thing I do when I try to get your attention, babe.” He groans with a smile.
Shaking my head I roll my eyes at him.
“Okay, we’re starting from Acetyl-CoA,” I start lecturing him, again.
He twirls the loosened strand around his finger before moving it behind my ear. “I really love your hair,” he whispers.
I giggle. What is it with this stupid habit lately?
“Focus, will you?”
“You’re so distracting, Abby,” Levi teases me. Just when I’m about to tell him to focus again, a shadow falls over us. I lift my head only to face a very angry Brant and his dangerous voice.
“Come on, let’s go.”