Abby
“Stupid fucker!” I say, laughing at myself.
“Pardon?”
“Your stupid fucker of a friend has just given my name to thousands of people who are watching this interview.”
I can’t believe he actually gave my name!
“Brant said you never curse.”
“Well, now I do and it actually feels great.”
“Whatever you say, ma’am.”
I keep watching Brant and when he starts talking to me directly, my breath hitches in my throat. My mouth goes dry and my heart beats like a mockingbird in my chest.
“Baby, I’m sorry. I never… I never meant to hurt you the way I did. I only wanted to show you how beautiful you were to me. I was… am so in love with you I needed everyone to see it.”
He’s in love with me.
He loves me.
“Alex… do you know where he is?”
“Hell yeah, I do. 15 minutes from here, give or take.”
“Take me to him.”
Alex smirks. “Yes, ma’am.”
I keep watching his interview as Alex breaks the speed limit on the drive to where Brant is. He says it was his way of showing me what I meant to him. I don’t know if I can believe that or if I should.
How will I know it’s not just an act?
As he answers others’ questions, I let myself think of the time we spent together, all the things he’s done for me.
The diabetes friendly dinners he made for me since the first day he came into my life, the lunch boxes with funny, thoughtful, caring images on them, the date night he planned so detailed and with so much effort. Then there was the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me, the way he touched my body. I remember how careful he was with my insulin shots, how gentle he tried to be even though he wanted to be a savage, even though I wanted him to be rough with me because of the hunger I felt for him.
His voice mails were recorded on my phone as he tried to reach out to me. I remember the way he fell on his knees in front of me on campus, the pain in his eyes after the exhibition as I left him…
Can all this be just an act?
Why would he try that hard if he was just using me?
I focus back on his interview.
“Even if it’s not her in the painting she will always be part of me, and so everything will also have some part of her in it too.”
I am a part of him…
I check the comments and see people’s reaction to his exhibition, to him, to me -- the muse. I realize people adore him and they love me. Some are even begging me to forgive him. Some are shouting at me that he loves me.
And as I look at the keyboard on the phone I start to believe it was really his way of showing me how he feels about me.
Smiling to myself, I write my question in the comments. The reaction he gives after the interviewer reads my comment is incredible.
“I will spend my whole life begging and making it up to you, baby,” he answers.
“Wait, is this the Abby Shine?” the interviewer asks Brant.
“Yes. One and only.”
“Okay, everyone. Now if you don’t mind I want you to hold off your questions so we don’t miss Abby’s comments.”
Biting my lip I think of what to comment now.
Why?, I write and interviewer reads my question to him.
“Because it’s you,” Brant answer the same moment the interviewer asks me, “Why what, Abby?”
Why did you choose me?, I write.
“I didn’t choose you, baby. There was no choice from the moment I saw you. You chose me.”
I shake my head at him.
Why didn’t you tell me before?
“Because I’m stupid. I thought it would be a good surprise.”
Why couldn’t you leave me be? Why couldn’t you leave me alone?
“Because it’s you, baby. You just consume me. You’re the one and I’m just a slave to this feeling. There’s nothing else I can say. Even I don’t understand it.”
You showed me to a whole world. You made me vulnerable.
“You’re not vulnerable. You’re fucking beautiful and strong. I’m weak and vulnerable when I’m around you.”
I smile at his answer and just when I’m about to write an answer Alex stops the car. I look up and see that we arrived at our destination. We walk quickly toward the building, but we’re stopped by a security guy.
“I need to see Brant Alexander-Marshall III.”
“Sorry, ma’am. I can’t let anyone in.”
“No. Please. It’s important.”
“I’m sure it is ma’am. The hundred women who came before you said the same thing,” he told me sarcastically.
“Look, mate. Right at this moment they are talking about this woman in that live feed. Abby Shine. You better let her in,” Alex says slowly. His voice becoming dangerous.
“I don’t know who this Abby fucking Shine is, but every woman claims that their name is Abby Shine. So, no. I’m not letting you in,” the security guy says, folding his arms in front of his chest.
Before I can show him my ID, Alex takes the guy into a headlock.
“Alex, what are you doing?” I’ve distracted him and the security guard takes the opportunity to tackle him to the ground. My scream alerts another security guard having a cigarette a bit further down. He drops his cigarette and comes running to pull the two apart but Alex is the biggest guy I’ve ever seen so it’s no easy task.
“Oh my god!” I exclaim and look around for some help. They’re all a tangle of fists and limbs and grunts.
“You’re standing in the way of true love you assholes!” Alex shouts and then rolls his body over onto the guard. “I’ve got this covered, Abby. You go find Brant,” he hollers at me. The last thing I see before I start running is a fist connecting with Alex’ jaw and I make a mental note to give him more of a break. He’s not so bad after all.
“Ma’am. Wait, who are you?” Someone stops me just when I see Brant and the interviewer.
“Abby went silent, it seems,” I hear the interviewer say.
I have lots of questions I want to ask Brant, but the moment I see his face I forget them all.
“I’m the Abby they’re talking about,” I tell the woman who stops me.
“Oh, go ahead then,” she says, but I shake my head and think of my next question. She smiles at me, waiting next to me behind the camera.
People know a lot about me, more than I’m comfortable with. You owe them something that makes you uncomfortable.
He smirks, looking down at his lap. “I’m pretty uncomfortable with the boner I’m sporting in these jeans right now because I know that you’re watching me,” he says. His husky tone sends a shiver run through my spine.
Do you want me? I write, biting my lip.
“I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.”
Beg, I write, stepping out of my hiding spot. His eyes get bigger when he sees me.
“Abby.”
“It’s your turn to beg,” I say, walking closer to him. We’re only a few feet away and all I can think of is jumping into his arms.
I miss him so much, but he’s put me through hell and he needs to make up for it. He gets up from his chair and walks towards me but I shake my head at him, folding my arms under my breasts. “Beg.”
He drops down to his knees in front of me, causing my breath to hitch. “I’ll spend my life making it up to you if you’ll let me,” he says.
“I didn’t hear you begging yet,” I say, biting my lip to stop my smile.
His eyes roam over me and I know he sees the change in me. I’ve softened. “How about I beg you when we get somewhere with a door?” He smirks.
“I don’t know…” I whisper, taking another step toward him. “The last time your record was 3 in one go. Can you top it?”
He smiles before pulling me flush with his body. His lips crash on mine for a breathtaking kiss. I miss his taste, the feel of his body against mine, and the tingling sensation he gives me whenever he’s near me.
He smiles down at me when our lips finally apart. “I promise 6 before I finally fuck you,” he whispers against my lips.
“I will fucking hold you to that, Coyer.”
The last thing I know before he rocks my world behind a closed door is that we’re running out of the studio, leaving applause and whistles behind us.