Chapter 13
Charlie
The cabin of the car is painfully quiet. It's the kind of silence that presses against your skin, that suffocates everyone in the vicinity.
Vivian’s fingers squeeze the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles have turned white. Tears pool on the rims of her eyes. I throw a glance at Reese in the back seat. Her jaw is tight, clenching as she stares at the scenery passing alongside the highway.
Seeing my sisters in this agony kills me. Memories are dancing across their minds. They're reliving the days when things were better.
The expression on dad's face as he sat next to our mother’s bed, the absolute helplessness, it flits through my mind. I can't imagine what it must be like to give all of your heart to a woman and then be forced to watch her fade away. Watching my parents’ struggle only bolsters my decision to steer clear of love.
I wish there was something I could do, some way I could fix this. But I'm just as helpless as they all are.
Today's visit was a bad one. Mom was in so much pain that she couldn't even smile, couldn't even lie and pretend to be okay. The days when she can't even put on a brave face for us, the days when her own muscles clench around her, shackling her inside her body, those are the days when I hate her multiple sclerosis most.
Today was one of those days.
We don’t go visit mom enough. It’s easy to blame it on the four-hour drive from Copper Heights to Springfield and back. But the truth is, it’s just too hard to see her suffering. It’s a damn selfish excuse. I know that. I never said I wasn’t a coward.
Desperate to relieve the tension in the car, I lean forward and turn on the radio. The upbeat sound of a popular boy band fills the car, so sudden and jarring it makes Viv flinch. She throws a glare my way.
"I hate that song," Reese mumbles from the back seat. She’s been in a strange mood all day. Even before we saw mom’s condition.
Exhaling with defeat, I flick the radio back off. "Should have taken my truck." Because being trapped in here with the two of them is too hard. Not enough space for all the sadness and anger and confusion.
A few more miles roll by in silence until, Reese blurts out, "Nova told me you're taking her to her grandmother's wedding..." It's a simple statement, but the amount of accusation in it makes me feel like I may need to call my lawyer.
Can somebody please read me my Miranda rights before I say something incriminating?
"Yeah, I'm taking her to the wedding." Wordlessly, Vivian throws me a glance. A very suspicious glance.
I didn't think it was possible for this ride to become even more tense but I was wrong.
Reese presses. "Why?"
"Because she's my friend. And I like wedding cake." I try not to sound defensive but I feel like I'm being attacked.
"Is cake a euphemism for something else?" she demands. I glare at her in the back seat. The attitude on this one…
I chuckle dryly. "You sell cupcakes for a living. So you tell me. Is your bakery just a front? Is it really a brothel or a sex club in the back?"
Vivian laughs a little at my sarcasm. Reese tries to fight it but she laughs, too. "Stop messing around, Charlie.”
"Nova is my friend so I don't get where all these insinuations are coming from."
Reese pins me with a stare. "You two have been hanging out a lot lately...”
Viv is practically sweating now, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. My older sister gets insanely anxious whenever she suspects that people in her circle may potentially perhaps possibly be coupling up. (She literally threatened Reese’s life when she suspected that our little sister was sneaking around with Leo.) She’s 29 and single. And the poor girl is convinced that there’s a race to the alter going on and she’s in last place.
"Well, since you stole my best friend from me, I've been kind of bored and lonely on my own."
"So basically you want her to give Leo back to you?" Vivian says snidely.
Reese grunts. "Not a chance in hell."
"So it's settled then.” I pound my fist into my knee like a judge’s gavel. “No more grumping from you."
"I just don't want you to hurt her."
In the rear view mirror, I catch Reese’s pleading expression. "I'm not into Nova that way.” I manage to say that in an aloof tone. “And besides, the girl can hold her own. If I so much as look at her the wrong way, she'll be using my nuts as ping pong balls in no time."
Reese examines my face. But my expression is all sincerity and earnestness. "Don't fuck with her, asshole. That's all I'm saying." It sounds like a threat to me.
"I won't." That’s the truth. I’d never hurt Nova. Her presence in my life means too much to me. She’s my friend and adding sex into the mix could be dangerous to our relationship. I understand that on a logical level even though my libido rages against it.
Reese doesn’t quite seem to trust me but she slumps back against her seat and her eyes move back to the scenery. I do the same.
The car is silent as we exit into Copper Heights. I don't want to let my little sister down. But when it comes to Nova, I'm starting to imagine what it would be like to have my (euphemistic) cake and eat it too.