Chapter 25
Nova
My movements freeze when I see Reese's name on my caller id.
Shit!
And immediately, it's no longer blood in my veins. It's pure, unadulterated guilt.
I’ve been fucking my friend’s brother for days and I haven’t mentioned a word to her. If I’m honest, I’ve been avoiding her. That makes me a pretty rotten bestie. I consider letting her call go to voicemail but inevitably, I immediately feel worse. I’m not gonna be that girl. The one who lets a guy—even a guy like Charlie—get in the way of the important relationships in my life.
Putting down the plate I was washing, I turn off the pipe and wipe my hands on a towel.
"Hey." I lean against the kitchen counter with my phone propped between my shoulder and my ear.
I instantly hear the smile in her voice. "There you are! Hi!”
Biting down on my lip, I wince. “Here I am.”
“I haven’t talked to you in forever. What have you been up to?"
I’ve been up to fucking your brother sixty-six ways to Sunday…Please don’t hate me…
I clear my throat to buy some time. "Been...busy."
There’s a pause on her end. "Busy, hmm..."
Oh god, she can already sense that something is up. I guess that’s how it is when you’ve been friends with someone for so long. Shame pulls over me like a suffocating blanket.
Reese continues. Her tone is strained with suspicion now but she’s trying to play it cool. "Anyway, Sophia finally lifted her head from the pillow this morning for the first time in like a week and I was thinking that we should all go grab a bite, maybe some ice cream."
I try to sound casual. "Oh shucks. Sorry. Charlie’s about to pick me up to go install some shelves at my grandmother's house."
"Charlie, huh?"
I am not at all a fan of the accusation in her voice. But my guilt won’t let me call her on it.
“Yes, he promised her at the wedding that he’d help her with that. She’s been looking forward to it.”
I can almost hear Reese’s dark brown eyebrow inching up on her forehead. “Oh, okay…Next time, then." She said that way too cheerily. She’s really on to me.
My voice comes out shrill and overexcited when I try to mimic her tone. “Yeah, next time.”
We can’t say goodbye quickly enough. I’ve never been so eager to get off the phone with her. I set the phone down on the counter and bury my face in my hands. Oh, I’m such a terrible person.
There isn’t much time for self-pity, though. Not a minute later, I hear the roar of Charlie’s truck pulling up outside. And now, my guilt has dissipated, instantly replaced by giddiness and hunger that I try to suppress.
Grabbing my backpack from the kitchen table, I manage to swing open the front door right as he’s about to hit the bell.
“Hey…”
“Hey…”
He’s standing on the front porch, his massive frame filling out the doorway. Biceps straining the sleeves of his dark t-shirt. Twinkling eyes peeking out from under the rim of his black cap. Blue jeans hugging his powerful thighs just right.
If ‘temptation’ were a man, he’d be the one standing in front of me right now.
Charlie leans an arm on the doorjamb and looks down at me with a smirk. The way his eyes roll over my cleavage and my hips…a girl’s heart can only take so much.
His finger hooks beneath my chin, tilting my face up and his lips slide over mine. My lungs freeze mid-breath. Our tongues dance together and my thoughts swirl, getting swept up in a cyclone of lust. His fingers stroke the curve of my spine underneath my t-shirt and my hands find the back of his head, pressing him closer. It doesn’t take long until there’s a raging fire in the pit of my belly.
He presses his forehead to mine when he pulls back. “I wanna fuck you so bad…” His erection brushes my belly. “Can I come inside?”
My parents have taken their sexfest back to my dad’s place in New York for the weekend. There’s nobody here but the two of us. I could let Charlie inside but this thing between us is starting to get intense. Just a little bit out of control. It’s starting to worry me.
Yes, things feel amazing right this minute. Intimate, familiar, easy. But this is Charlie. I know his reputation with women. I’ve seen firsthand the way he operates. I’d be a fool to get myself tangled in this. I’ve already let it get too far. And in the long run, it’s gonna hurt.
I shrink out of his arms. “We should get on the road,” I tell him. “My grandmother and Edward are waiting. And you know how old people are—they’re probably counting the minutes until those shelves are installed so they can go take a nap.”
He laughs but it’s distant, strained. It’s like he knows that I’m pulling away.
We don’t speak much during the ride. I stare at the passing landscape and he keeps his eyes on the road. Less than half an hour later, we’re pulling up in the driveway of grandma’s place in Reyfield.
“Hello, you two.” She waves at us from the front porch.
I find a smile for her despite the agitation in my chest. “Hey sexy.” I place a kiss on her cheek then give Edward a hug while Charlie grabs his toolbox from the bed of the truck.
“Thank you so much for agreeing to come and help us out,” she tells him as he approaches the stairs.
“Anything for a gorgeous lady like you, Nancy.”
My grandmother’s eyes bat girlishly. “Don’t you flatter me,” she warns as Charlie gives her a one-armed hug.
“It goes straight to her pretty, little head,” Edward rolls his eyes as he’s shaking Charlie’s hand.
“As if you don’t spoil her enough.” Charlie very lightly bumps his shoulder with the old man’s as if they’re long lost friends, suddenly reunited.
The tightness in my chest grows as I watch him charm the both of them so effortlessly. It’s really getting to me. He’s so good, so kind, so perfect in so many ways. Remembering not to fall completely head over heels for this guy is starting to become a challenge.
My stark voice breaks through the pleasantries. “Grandma, can you show us where you need the shelves installed?”
All heads snap my way. My grandmother’s eyebrow lifts but she doesn’t question me. “Sure, dear. Follow me.”
Kicking off our shoes on the mat at the door, we travel through Grandma’s gingerbread cottage to the living room where the first shelf needs to go. After giving us instructions, Edward complains of being lightheaded and he and Grandma go enjoy the fresh breeze on the porch.
I watch Charlie take the measurements and make the holes in the wall. With his bulging muscles and his pencil tucked behind his ear and jeans riding low on his sculpted glutes, he is every warm-blooded woman’s blue-collar fantasy.
But that’s all he is—a fantasy. There won’t ever be anything real between us. There can’t be. He isn’t capable of it.
When he asks me to help him hold the shelf straight while he drills it into the wall, I fight like hell to not drown in his masculine scent. And when he reaches up with the drill in hand and his T-shirt rises, giving me a peek at the deep V arrowing into his pants, I try not to sigh.
The guy is beautiful, the embodiment of masculinity but that doesn’t mean that falling for him is a good idea.
My grandmother and Edward are thankful beyond words once Charlie is done installing four shelves, tightening the loose hinges of a few kitchen cabinets and putting a new lock on the back door. He doesn’t complain one bit that he ended up doing more than anticipated. Instead, he politely wishes the newly-weds a good night and tells them he looks forward to seeing them soon.
I almost hate him right now for making it so hard to not want him.
As Charlie’s packing his tools into his truck, my grandma ambles up and whispers to me. “This one’s a keeper, Nova.”
I chuff. “Granny, he’s not a keeper. He’s a friend.”
“That’s what I said about Eddie,” she tells me. “Now, look at us.”
Edward puts a hand on her shoulder. “She knows a keeper when she sees one.”
I end the conversation by bidding them goodbye and climbing into the truck as fast as I can manage. When we ease onto the highway, Charlie reaches across the gearshift and takes my hand, laces our fingers. My heart doesn’t know how to beat any faster.
My jaw trembles softly as I look down to the place where our hands intersect. They look kind of perfect together. His big, calloused fingers twisting with my small, mocha hand with its chipped nail polish. I feel a pang deep in my gut, wishing it didn’t feel so right.
“What are you doing?” I ask hoarsely.
He looks over at me, a smirk curving his mouth. “Holding your hand.”
“Why?” My heart aches so bad right now. I’m almost scared that it’ll just give out in my chest.
“Because I want to.” He turns to glance at me, to examine my features. “Because it feels good.”
I let our hands linger together a while longer even though I know I shouldn’t.
My voice cracks, exposing the panic I feel inside. “I don’t want to fall for you, Charlie. That would be a very bad idea.”
His chest expands as he sucks in a lungful of air. He speaks softly, slowly, his eyes on the road. “Did it ever occur to you that I might fall for you, too?”
A quiet gasp comes from my lips. Hopeful. Too hopeful. His head turns my way.
Our gazes hold for a long time before I roll my watery eyes, looking away. “Don’t bullshit me. That’s not fair.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“I’m serious.”
“You can’t be.”
He glances at me with narrowed eyes. “What? It’s like you think I don’t have a heart or something?” Frustration tinges his voice. “Maybe if you gave me a chance to prove myself, you’d find out that I do.”
I twist my lips to one side, holding on to my resolve. “Maybe I’m not willing to risk finding out if you do…because maybe you don’t.”
Without warning, Charlie swerves the car onto the shoulder of the highway and the vehicle pitches up gravel, grinding to a halt.
“Are you crazy?!” I snap at him.
He ignores my panic. “I want to be with you, Butterfly!”
The car falls silent. The expression on his face says that he’s absolutely dumbfounded that those words just spurted out of his mouth. My eyes slide shut and I shake my head in disbelief.
A flame of conviction slips into his eyes. “Give me your heart, Nova. Give me a chance. Let me try to be your guy.”
No! No, no, no, no, no!
"My heart isn't an experiment, Charlie. Good for you if you want to try out the experience of being in a relationship…but not with me, not with my heart." I pull my hand out of his and fold my arms across my chest.
“So you’re saying no?” His hurt expression rides his handsome features.
I never wanted this to happen. I didn’t want things to get this complicated. I care about him so much. “Charlie, you don’t honestly think that you and I could work out…”
“I’m willing to try,” he says earnestly.
I drop my head so that he can’t read the emotions on my face. “Well, that isn’t good enough because I’m not willing to get hurt…”
He watches me for a long time. I know he’s trying to decide whether to fight me on this or to just let it go. Eventually, he pushes a heavy sigh and then pulls the truck back onto the road.
He can’t drop me off at my place quick enough. I’ve got to get out of there. For the first time ever, I don’t feel safe with him. Because this time, my heart is on the line.