Chapter 37
Charlie
I feel like I’ve got a log lying sideways in my throat as I pull into a spot in the parking garage.
Nova unfastens her seatbelt and twists around into the backseat. She snatches her guitar case and the backpack sitting on the bench. Then she hops out of the car and pops the trunk open to pull out her duffel. When the trunk door slams shut, it all becomes too real. Too final.
She’s leaving…
I can’t move. I’m strapped into my seat, hands gripping the wheel, eyes straight ahead. She pauses at my tailgate and stares down at her phone for a moment. Then, she’s standing at my window with her guitar slung over one shoulder, her backpack over the other, her duffel bag clenched in her fingers.
Bringing my eyes to her, I force a smile. I pop open the door and step out of the car. There’s a little smile on her face. It’s shallow but it’s there.
“So, this is it, huh?” It’s a lame question but it’s all I’ve got right now.
“This is it.”
We stand there staring at each other for so long that her guitar strap starts slipping down her arm. She hooks a thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the elevators.
“I’ve gotta, um—”
“Yeah…”
There’s another awkward pause. “So, do I get a hug or…?” she croaks out.
I shake myself out of my miserable fog, spreading my arms wide to receive her. She sets her bags on the ground. I pull her to me, holding her to my chest, wishing to god that I didn’t have to let her go. She squeezes her little body close to mine when her arms come around my waist.
Does she feel how hard my heart is beating? Does she realize that I’m silently begging her to change her mind?
I love her…
She gives me a sad look and her arms drop from around me.
Those eyes…
I’ll never get to watch them again in the light of the rising sun.
That hair…
I’ll never get to lose my fingers in it as I guide her lips over mine.
Those lips…
Just watching them now is driving me insane.
Without thinking, I reach out and grab her face with both hands. I lower my lips to hers and feel them sliding against her soft mouth. She gasps in that wispy, breathless way that always gets my cock to swell. I deepen the kiss, opening her lips with my tongue. I taste her again. For the last time. And it’s breaking apart every bit of willpower inside of me.
My arms drop to her waist and I kiss her like I don’t know how to stop. I lash my tongue against hers, I suck hard on her lips, I angle her face just right. I need her to know that I mean it. I mean this kiss with every fiber of my being.
When she pulls away, stumbling back, her eyes are wet and confused, asking me what the hell I’m thinking. The stuttering words that come out of my chest do nothing to help the situation. “I—I, uh…” I glance down at the watch on my wrist. “What time is your flight?”
“I should go.” She hefts her bags onto her shoulder and takes quick steps away.
I leap forward. “Wait—let me help you.” I grab the duffel and the backpack. We walk side by side to the elevator. Silence hovers over us. It’s tearing up my insides. Our friendship used to mean the world to me. She was one of those people I could be myself with. Now, it’s like we’re strangers and that’s all my fault.
I wait with her in the line to the airline counter. Each step takes us closer and the words in my head grow louder. Don’t let her go. Make her stay. Beg her. Tell her how you feel. But it turns out, I’m a coward. Besides, I know that New York is what’s best for her. Her dream career. A world of opportunities. A fresh start.
After she’s done checking in, we walk silently to the security gate. She pauses and turns to face me. “I can’t go past this point,” I tell her stupidly, as if she doesn’t already understand that. In fact, she looks relieved for the physical barrier she’s about to put between us. Don’t let her go…
Cupping her check, I lean down to kiss her again. This time she turns away.
“Don’t,” she whispers, her attention focused on the ground. “This is already so hard. Too hard…”
Those are her last words before she steps through the gate and disappears from my sight.