Chapter 32
Nova
So, now I’m sitting at the kitchen table, my body as tense as a rubber band stretched to the hilt.
Sophia is seated to my left, as stoic and indifferent as ever. She spins a half-bagel around on her plate.
Reese on the other hand…
She paces the travertine tiles back and forth, back and forth, shaking her head as she goes. She’s muttering under her breath. “‘I don’t want Charlie,’ she said. ‘Charlie’s a player,’ she said. ‘He’s the brother I never had,’ she said.”
“Okay—I never said that last one,” I interject, needing to vigorously defend whatever tiny fragments of honor I have left, because I feel pretty dishonorable right about now.
At least I’m wearing pants now.
Reese turns to me with incredulous eyes and duck lips. She folds her arms across her chest. “Um, I think you’re missing the point, Nova.”
My eyes drop to the table, so ashamed by my betrayal. There’s a picture of me on urbandictionary.com next to the definition of ‘sneaky bitch’.
“Are you mad at me?” I ask, venturing a glance in my best friend’s direction.
She narrows her eyes. “I’m not mad at you. Not at all.” A self-righteous look crosses her face. “I was right!” She stabs the air with her pointer finger. “All these years I teased you about having a thing for my brother and you denied it. Now, my suspicions have been confirmed. I’ve been vindicated.”
I laugh. “Damn, Reese—I didn’t realize it was that deep to you.” I grab my coffee cup and bring it to my lips.
“Well, it’s definitely nice to know I wasn’t imagining things.” She pulls out a chair at the other end of the table and drops down into it. Her expression goes somber. “But I am worried about you.”
My stomach drops off a cliff. I know exactly where she’s going with this.
“Nova, I’m trying to mind my business because you’re an adult and all but I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Her voice is soft, compassionate. “I love my brother but I don’t want to see him destroy you.”
I sigh. I won’t betray Charlie’s confidence by revealing what he told me about his time in the military but I also don’t want Reese to think that I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. There’s more to her brother than I realized all these years. He’s a good guy. He has so many layers and he’s been betrayed in the worst way imaginable. The woman he once loved nearly cost him his life. One of his best friends died trying to save him. After something like that happens, it’s understandable that a person would be cautious to open their heart again.
“I think I know what I’m doing.” I wish I sounded more convincing than this but Charlie and I have a lot of getting to know each other to do. It will take time. But considering the way I feel about him, I couldn’t not give him a chance.
I’m doing the right thing…right?
Oh, god…
My friend pushes a breath. “Fine…” she says reluctantly.
Thankfully, Reese changes the subject. She tells me that my mother finally found the perfect place for the grand reopening of the Broken Cupcake. She says that only minor renovations are needed and that Hartley Construction will be handling the project, of course. I share her excitement, I give her a few ideas. Having my secret out in the open is a huge relief. Still, my mind is buzzing. Am I being a fool by letting Charlie into my heart?
I want this to be the right decision. I want that so much. But now, I’m not as sure as I was at three o’clock this morning when my smudged toenails were curling into the bedroom carpet as he fucked me against the wall. Or at 4:30 when he was snoring lightly under my comforter. Or at 6:45 when he was dragging himself out of bed, groggy but content.
Reese disappears down the hallway to use the bathroom eventually. Sophia sits at the table as I clear the dishes away. To my surprise, she stands and carries the empty coffee pot to the sink.
“I don’t agree with her,” she says softly.
My head snaps in her direction. “What?” This is the first time I’ve heard her volunteer speech in weeks. It’s almost shocking.
“If your gut tells you that Charlie is a good guy, then go with your gut,” she tells me. "You've got to read the signs.”
I stand there, stunned. I don’t know what to say. After all that’s happened to Sophia, after being ditched at the alter and humiliated in the most public way, she’s still pulling for love? She still believes in the thing?
She sighs. “I know what you’re thinking but my situation is different. Josh had been pushing me away for months. I didn't want to see that something was wrong but it was. My gut tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen.” She examines me with her weak eyes. “What does your gut tell you about Charlie?"
I speak slowly, almost afraid to say it out loud. “My gut tells me that he’s good and genuine.”
Looking satisfied, she gives me a curt nod and wanders back to the table. I follow behind her. It’s been so long since I’ve actually gotten to talk to her like a regular human being. I don’t want her to disappear on me again. I drop into the chair next to her. “Love is scary, huh?” We smile softly at each other. “Do you think that you’ll be ready to start dating again anytime soon? Do you think you’ll be able to trust someone?"
She laughs like my question is ironic. A bitter shadow lingers in her eyes and what she says next shocks me completely. "Nova...I'm pregnant. So, to answer your question, no—I wont’ be ready to start dating any time soon."