Chapter 29
Nova
The expression on his face is fucking adorable.
He’s seated on the floor with my foot on the hardcover book in his lap. His tongue pokes out the side of his mouth as he carefully drags the brush across my big toe and sparkly blue polish spreads across the nail. His complete attention is focused on the task at hand. He leans back and tilts his head to the side to examine his handiwork. A slight frown comes to his brow then he pushes his nail across the edge to pick up the excess polish.
This is too much.
The sight of this big, tough, tattooed man sitting at my feet in his expensive suit, painting my toes is too much. The feel of his warm, rough hands gently cradling my feet is too much. The look of undivided dedication in his eyes is too much.
“Charlie, you don’t have to do this.”
He looks up at me and shrugs. “There’s really nothing else I’d rather be doing, Nova.” His eyes go mischievous. “Except maybe…”
“Don’t even go there,” I warn even as my body begins to tingle. Can you blame me? We’re alone in my house at 1:00 in the morning and his hands are on my skin, he’s already on his knees. This is dangerous. You can’t blame me for the places that my mind has ventured off to.
His face remains serious, confident when he says, “We’ll get there. Trust me.”
My defenses surge up at that comment. I pull my foot out of his grasp. “Charlie, you and me…I don’t think we’re a good idea.”
“And why’s that?” He slides the wand into the little nail polish bottle and screws it shut.
“You know why…” I say quietly.
His gaze narrows and his nostrils flare. “Why? Because I’m a player? Because I’ve been with a lot of women? Is that it, Nova?”
“I can’t throw a rock in Copper Heights without hitting a woman you’ve slept with.”
Frustration pleats his brow. “There’s more to me than that. How about you get to know me? I want you to get to know me.”
I lift a brow. “I do know you.”
“No—you don’t.” I hear the edge of anger in his voice.
Why is my resistance so weak right now? Why can’t I just say ‘no’ and stand by it?
“Please don’t do this to me, Charlie. I know everything I need to know about you. I know that you don’t do relationships. I know that you break hearts…”
He plants a hand behind him on the carpet and leans back, looking at me. “Did you know that I’ve been in love?”
The announcement hits me like a blast of cold air on a January morning.
“You’ve been in love?” I repeat skeptically. I’ve been in his life for years and not once have I heard mention of this mystery woman who apparently caught his heart once upon a time.
He gives a curt nod. “Yes.”
I sit back against the cushions and wait for him to expand.
An array of emotions cycles across his features. A version of Charlie that I’ve never met sits on the floor at my feet.
“When I was deployed.” His voice gets deep, scratchy, weighed down by a burden that seems to suffocate him all of a sudden. “It was a friendly village. She was a local girl. Pretty. Dark hair. Small body. But a smile…that smile was trouble.” He scrubs his hand over his head. “I was stupid. Horny.” He chuckles bitterly. “I snuck off the base almost every night, following her scent like a damn dog. The nights I couldn’t be with her were agonizing.”
He swallows hard and presses his eyes shut. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as if he’s still fighting to come to grips with it all.
I reach out and touch his shoulder. “Charlie, what happened?”
He shakes his head slowly. “I still don't know what they promised her…or if they threatened her…but she lured me. The rebels got a hold of me...she led them straight to me.” He’s speaking in bits and pieces now, fits and spurts, leaving out parts but the picture is slowly coming together. His eyes come to mine. “Someone died because of me, Nova. Because I was careless, because I was in love…My friend died trying to save me from my stupid mistake.”
My head spins, my thoughts knocking about on the inside. “Oh…oh my god…”
A bitter smile moves his lips. “Every time I think about Leo or Archie, I think that it could have been one of them. It could have been all of them. It could have been all of us. Johnson died that night, but it could have been all of us. Because I was stupid and in love.”
I drop to the floor on my knees in front of him, biting on my lip to keep it from quivering.
His hands come to my shoulders. “I was afraid for so long, Nova. I didn’t want to do it again. I didn’t want to fall for anybody. I couldn’t allow myself to trust anybody because of what she did. I loved her and she betrayed me. But with you…”
“Oh, Charlie…” I grab his face in my hands, holding him together so that we don’t both fall apart. I slide my lips over his and kiss him, trying my best to take some of his pain away.
We get lost so easily. Kissing all over each other. Touching. Rubbing. It’s all so good, so sweet. I want more of it. I want it all.
Fighting for breath, Charlie pulls back and looks me in the face. “I swore I’d never open my heart again but I trust you. I’ve always trusted you…Do you trust me?”
I lose my breath a little at the question. I’ve always trusted him as a friend. I’ve always known that he has my back. But now, he’s asking for my heart.
“I want to try…”
It’s honest, it’s the truth and it’s the best I can offer at this point.
He leans forward and kisses me again and again and again. And when my body is so wound up that I think I might just explode from the pent up wanting, I take him by the hand and lead him into my bedroom.