I’m running my fingers through Willow’s damp hair as she snuggles deeper into my embrace. She collapsed into me, greedily gasping for air after we screwed each other senseless. We haven’t moved much since we are still trying to recover, which results in a naked Willow wrapped around me.
I’m one lucky bastard.
My eyes want to slam closed in utter exhaustion but I can’t get my brain to shut down and my mind wanders aimlessly. The girl currently cocooned around me is my entire world but I’m still nervous as fuck being in an unknown space. Sleep has eluded me since Willow left my house so I’m probably bordering on delusional at this point.
The darkness tried to snatch me up for good and I didn’t have the strength to continue struggling. Just as the black waters began drowning me, Willow saved me once again. I could feel her light beaming down into my deprived eyes before I heard her soothing tone float through the chaos. Willow’s whisper was louder than any of the roaring hallucinations. It was her soft voice calling out to me that dragged me from that dank pit I’d been wallowing in.
I forced myself to find a way to her because I wouldn’t survive another day without Willow’s warmth. It wasn’t easy hitching a ride into the city, especially in the middle of the night, but someone was clearly watching out for me. As I limped along the narrow road toward town, a trucker took pity on me and gave my psycho ass a lift.
I could hardly keep the panic controlled as we bounced along the freeway. My demons had a tight grip on my sanity but Willow’s pull was stronger. I refused to surrender to anything or anyone except my beautiful Wills. Her encouraging words were playing on a continuous reel as I blankly stared outside the passenger window. “Come back to me, X. I love you, X. I see you, X.”
Countless hours later, I had her wrapped in my arms and I could finally breathe again. I didn’t anticipate Willow’s impatience but I definitely wasn’t fucking complaining when she started taking off my clothes. When she slid down on my cock, it felt like a fucking housewarming that I didn’t deserve but I selfishly accepted. Her tight pussy squeezing the hell out of my dick was fantastic but her sweet words were icing on the cake. All night long we went at it until our bodies and minds were fucking spent.
This is heaven on Earth.
I release a lungful of air and Willow to stirs against me. I figured she had fallen asleep until her hand begins rubbing along my ribs. She presses a light kiss to my pec before nuzzling into my neck. Willow’s tone is smooth as satin when she asks, “Xander?”
“Yeah, baby?” My reply is muttered against her forehead.
“Are you alright being here in the city? Are you alright? I was so worried about you, X. I want to know everything. Tell me what you’re thinking about.” Her voice is scratchy from screaming through our sex marathon, which has my chest puffing out in pride. Then her words register and my ego deflates. Willow isn’t busy thinking about my mad skills in the sack. She’s worried about my wellbeing because I’m fucked up and need help.
I release a frustrated groan. “When I’m with you, I actually get some semblance of normal. At least what I would consider typical. All the crazy shit stays quiet because you consume every part of me, Wills. When you bring up how I might be feeling in certain situations, I start getting fucking anxious since I know the darkness can easily trap me again. Right now, with your sexy body mashed against mine, I feel like a king. What’ll tomorrow bring? I have no fucking clue.” Talking about my black episodes causes my heart rate to spike and my muscles tense against a potential onslaught of panic. My palms had been stroking along Willow’s back when our conversation started but now, both hands are formed into a tight fists against the mattress.
“Should we go back to the cabin?”
“Will you stay there with me?” My reply is harsh, even to my own ears.
Willow’s fingers continue their soothing touch along my torso but her response has my defenses quickly rising. “Well, I can for a little while but I’ll have to come back for work. I can’t leave my job without giving them decent notice. That hasn’t changed, Xander.”
“Then I’m not going back.” I inject as much strength as possible into my words.
“What? Why?”
“I can’t fucking be separated from you, Wills. I can’t do it. I need to be with you more than just on weekends. Even picturing life away from you gets me upset and freaked the fuck out. These past four days were absolute torture. I don’t even want to discuss it, but know I refuse to live through that shit again.” My breaths are puffing out of me in short pants as I get worked up imagining going back to my cabin alone.
Fuck that shit.
Willow’s wandering hand stills against my sternum where my heart is racing wildly. “I would love for you to stay with me. I just assumed this wasn’t an option. Of course it would be wonderful to live with you here but I want you to be happy, X. I need to be with you, too. More than anything, I’ve realized that now. If you hadn’t come out here, I was going to find a way to stay in the woods with you. You’re my life and I can’t manage without you near me.”
Hearing a similar declaration from her lips causes my soul to fill with pure joy. My weak limbs sag into the bed knowing she won’t leave me again. I brush a swift peck against her temple.
“Being with you is all I need in this twisted life of mine, Wills. You’re helping me flatten the erratic curves by just being with me. I owe you everything for that.” I wish there is more I could say to get my point across. Wills was my entire universe and I would cease to exist without her.
Her exhale is stuttered and accompanies a few sniffles.
“You’re such a great man, Xander. I love you so freaking much.” She pauses a moment while her eyes shutter closed before flutter open again. “I kept trying to force you into the slot you used to fill and that isn’t fair. We’re both different people now and I’m so thankful for that. Maybe we needed to drift apart in order to slam back together. You know?”
I had no idea what she meant. There is no way she actually enjoyed the messed up parts of me.
“I’m not the guy you used to know. I’ll never be him again, Wills. It sucks and I hate it because I never want to disappoint you. I want this to work out between us so fucking badly. I know we could have a future together because you’re all I see and that will never change.
“I feel so much better just having you around. It’s like you’re a balm to my crazed mind. I don’t feel like my skin is burning when you touch me. I can sleep. I actually feel relaxed. With you next to me, holding my hand, I believe anything is possible.” This woman drags the syrupy confessions out of me without even trying.
I’ll never get tired of telling her how I feel and she’s earned an endless supply of sweet sentiments. Willow deserves much more than what my words provide and I’m hoping to have the rest of our days to prove myself.
She straightens her arms in order to hover over me. Her green gaze is still watery but beyond the surface, her irises are smoldering. I see eternity in her eyes as I get lost in her stare. That look alone liquefies my insides and I surrender all I have to this girl. I’d gladly offer anything I had to keep that level of love reflecting back at me.
Then Willow smiles and my brain shuts the fuck down. All that registers is the brilliant stunner blinding me with her light.
“Xander, you don’t get it at all. I’ve always loved you and yes, you’re a drastically different man now but that doesn’t freaking matter. I see you in front of me and I want every single piece, no matter how jagged. Every crack, hole, divot, and defect is a part of you that I wouldn’t change. Who you are today is the guy I’m confessing all my feelings for. This version of you has recaptured my heart and gives it reason to beat rapidly. I’m crazy about everything related to you, even the parts you hate.” Willow interrupts her speech to smack a loud kiss across my lips before continuing.
“All mixed together, you’re the perfect package that has me completely head-over-heels. No matter what you say, I think I would be disappointed to lose any side you have to offer.” Unwavering devotion drips from her words and I know this is forever.
I crush her tiny frame into my bulky build. Our flesh snapped together like a powerful magnetic force.
We will never be separate again. I will make it my fucking mission to ensure nothing ever pulls us apart.