Chapter Nine

Eddie

One thing about distractions is that they only last for so long, and self-control is not something I’d class as my strong suit. I think Callie’s given up because my phone has not blown up with missed calls in about an hour. Even though I’d put it on silent, I could still feel the vibrations from my pocket. As I wave goodbye to Beth and the kids.

My phone buzzes again and I decide I’d best find out what she wants before she thinks I’m MIA and does something stupid like call Oliver or Mickki. I’m surprised to see it isn’t her, it’s a friend from a few tours ago; his band opened for us. We called him Blazin’ Brazen, and I haven’t seen him in well over two years, just a case of never being in the same place at the same time.

“Yo, my brother from another mother, what’s up?” I say.

“Not much, I saw all the publicity and knew you were in town. Come hang and catch up on old times.”

“Text me the address and I’ll head straight over.”

You know when you instantly know something is a bad idea, but you think fuck it and do it anyway? I see Damien give me a look, he knows of Brazen and doesn’t think it’s a good idea that I go catch up with an old mate. I agree to just one drink, but he knows as well as I do that that’s bullshit. The driver takes me to the address Brazen texted, it’s not too far away and as we pull up to a security gate we get buzzed in. The house is massive, there are cars and people everywhere, and a party is in full swing.

As I walk inside, I see Brazen straight away. He’s sitting on a massive chair like a fucking King, with a woman rubbing herself all over him. This is my kind of party; the music is loud, the women are loose, and anything goes. Brazen whispers something to a leggy blonde, she smiles at him and looks my way. I know how Brazen’s parties work; she’s just been assigned to me for the night and I can't say I mind. She looks to be just my type; legs that go on for days and a big rack. She struts towards me in her very skimpy outfit. I'm not one for theatrics - I don't need the batter of the eyelashes, or the flip of the hair. I'm a fucking rock god, and I have needs and no trouble finding someone to fulfil said needs. Damien is close behind me; he gets jumpy when I take him into big crowds by himself. He has Marcus on speed dial and I swear that guy is magic and just appears out of thin air.

“Brazen would like to talk to you,” the blonde woman says, taking me by the hand. As she pulls me along I watch the sway of her hips, which causes a twitch in my pants.

“I see you like my gift for the night,” Brazen checks, clicking his fingers and a waitress dressed in next to nothing brings us both a scotch on the rocks. I knock mine back and hand the empty glass back to the woman who goes to get me another.

“So, what's been happening with you? The paps have been all over your binge,” he says with a laugh.

“I wouldn't say it was a binge, more like a good time. Now I'm supposed to have a fucking sober buddy and stop using.”

“A sober buddy, that’s fucking hilarious,” he spits out through uncontrollable laughter.

“Fuck you man, she’s riding my balls and she’s always around.”

“She! Is she at least hot?” he asks.

“Maybe, in a stick-up-her-ass kind of way, but I need to get rid of her.”

“Easy, just fuck her and then go fuck some more chicks after.”

“She hates me, she won't just drop her panties like a normal woman,” I say seriously. Callie needs to go, she makes me want to use with her judgemental looks and condescending tone.

“Make her fall for you, charm her, then fuck her and dump her.”

“Let's just get fucking wasted and not worry about women.”

“You might want to think about that woman,” he says, pointing to the blonde who has two coke lines across her tits; one line can't hurt. What my sober buddy doesn't know won't hurt her. I snort the coke straight from her body and I see the look Damien gives me, I point to the second line on her other tit and nod my head his way, he shakes his head no. Can't say I didn't offer, right? Brazen tells me about his upcoming tour and I'm glad we’ve got a break. I love the rush of playing on stage every night, being constantly on the move, but there’s nothing like being at home and writing and recording new songs. I can't think of anything I’d rather spend my life doing - well besides fucking, but that comes with the lifestyle.

After a few drinks, Brazen has an idea that we should go to a club because he wants to dance. It's not an easy task going out in public at times, but he convinces me it's fine, he knows the owners and they have a VIP booth sectioned off. We’d just blend in with the rich assholes and wouldn't even draw any attention to ourselves.

Because I can, I tell Damien to go home early, that Brazen has plenty of security, and I’ll be fine. I only have him with me because everyone’s gone nuts over my recent outbursts. He’s hesitant to leave, but I remind him who pays him and he leaves.

After an hour, we’re pulling up to Club Stixx; it's a pretty popular club and the line to get in goes all the way around the corner and into a side street. Brazen walks straight up to the bouncer – so much for blending in. Since people will know we’re here, we might as well make it worthwhile. Brazen leads us to a VIP booth and shakes hands with the massive bouncer guarding the entrance. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and think, ‘here we go again, this chick is worse than a nagging girlfriend.’ I pull it out so I can shut it off, but the name flashing on the screen catches my eye. It's Sasha, now why would she be calling me? She’s made it clear she can't be my friend, so something must be wrong.

“Hello?” I say, but can't hear a damn thing over the music. “HOLD ON, I’LL GO OUTSIDE!” I yell over the music as I push my way through the crowd. “Can you hear me now?”

“I can hear you,” she says. I can tell she’s been crying.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” I ask, genuinely concerned.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you,” she sobs.

“Don't be silly, you can always call me…anytime.”

“That's the problem, Eddie, I can't. Seeing you bought back so many memories. I need to stay away from that dark place, but I miss her so much.”

“I miss her too, every day. I feel numb without you both.”

“You're a good man, you know that.”

“Tell that to Mickki and the rest of the fucking country. You and Amelia were the only people who saw the best in me.”

“We still do, I believe she’s watching down on us. Do you remember her telling you before each show to make her proud? That shouldn't have to end just because she isn't here.” Her words hit me hard in the centre of my gut. Not only did I let her down in life, I'm letting her down in death as well. Hell, I need to change the subject.

“I’m sorry, I never wanted to let you both down. Look, I have to go.” I hang up before she can get a word in. How did my life get to this point? I’d give up everything I have for a do-over.

As I walk back towards the club, I see photographers everywhere. It wouldn't surprise me if the owners had tipped them off, the publicity would be good for them. Putting my head down and walking in the other direction, I need to call someone to come and get me, but who. Calling a taxi is out of the question since the incident of 2009, apparently making the chubby driver think you're going to not pay and do a runner isn't funny, especially when he had no idea who we were. Being charged with fare evasion wasn’t one of my finest moments, but watching him chase me was hilarious. Mickki is also not an option as he won't take me being high very well, and there’s no point calling my security team as they’ll just tell Oliver and the last thing I need is the label on my ass again. Maybe Callie? She might bust my balls, but she wants to see me sober. The call rings and rings, and I’m expecting an answering machine to click over before she answers.

“Hello?” Holy shit, stick-up-the-ass Callie has a phone-sex voice.

“What are you wearing?” I say in my best sleazy voice.

“Eddie?”

“Say it slower, more like, Oh, Eddie, right there.”

“I’m going to hang up if you don’t get to the point. I don’t have time for your stupid games.”

“Well love, you’re my sober buddy and I kind of need your help.”

“Do you really need my help, or is this some kind of trick?” she says and I can tell she’s getting frustrated with me. As much fun as it is to tease her, she’s my only chance of not being busted.

“I really need your help. I’m sitting in the dark at the corner of Paulson and Amie.”

“Fine, I’ll come, but you owe me an explanation on the way home.”

Sitting back on the steps of some upscale café, I try not to think about the phone call from Sasha. I decide to send a quick text to her, apologising for hanging up on her. Why do I have to be a disappointment to everyone? My mother used to tell me that all I was was a disappointment and I always would be; I guess she was right and could see it in me even as a child. Fuck them all. They all think I can’t do it, even Mickki. I can see it in his face when he looks at me, I’m just taking him down with me. They all want me to be sober and deal with my past, maybe they’re right and it is time. What do I know, I’m high as hell and a little drunk? Okay, maybe I’m a lot drunk; the shitload of shots I’d done with Brazen before we left his house weren’t a good idea.

Headlights approach, but it can’t be her. The car slows down and I see a window roll down; It’s her alright. I shake my head, there is no way I can get in that death trap.

“Get in the car,” she calls out.

“You seriously want me to get in that?” I question.

“You called me, remember? Sorry not all of us can afford to drive around in limos. I can call Mickki to come get you if you prefer, though?”

“Nope, I’m good. Just let me quickly update my twitter and all my accounts, and say goodbye in case we die.” Buckling myself in, I pull my phone out and take a selfie.

“You’re being ridiculous, this car is perfectly safe,” she says as she pulls away from the corner.

“How about we go buy you a new car, my shout?” I slur.

“How about I take you home and you can sober up?” she retaliates.

“NO, I can’t go home. Mickki will be there and I don’t need his look of pity. Just drop me at a hotel.”

“People will recognise you and you’re supposed to stay out of the papers. Oliver is going to be pissed.”

I look in her back seat and see a big floppy sun hat and big fly looking sunglasses, then I reach for them and put them on. “They won’t even know who I am in these.”

“You look ridiculous,” she says with a smile. I’ve not seen her smile before, and now that she doesn’t look so serious it’s the first time I’ve seen Callie and not some stuck-up pain in my ass.

“I look seriously hot.”

“If you say so,” she says, rolling her eyes at me. “We’re here.”

“We’re where? Gang bangers are us? I’m too young and pretty to die.”

“Just get out of the damn car. You’re drunk and need to sober up. This is my sister’s house. I’ll take you home in a few hours and Mickki won’t ever know, but you owe me one.”

“It’s a bit soon to meet the family, don’t you think? We haven’t even banged yet. Don’t you want to ‘try before you buy’ so to speak?”

“For shit’s sake”. Just get inside.” She leads the way to the house.

“Won’t your sister care that you’re bringing a strange man home? And what the hell are you wearing?”

“My sister isn’t here, she’s away, and this is what I sleep in.”

“That’s something a granny would wear to bed. You’re what, in your early thirties? And from what I can tell, you’ve got a somewhat rockin’ body under there. You’re going to die a lonely cat lady, if you dress this way and drive this thing.” I say, following her into the house. She switches on the lights and it looks like a typical family home, with pictures on the walls and nothing like I’ve ever had in my life.

“Maybe it’s to scare men like you away?” She throws her keys onto the kitchen bench and I lie down on the couch, kicking my boots onto the floor.

“Men like me? You mean to say you know heaps of rock stars with monster cocks?”

I see her smile again and for a spilt second I get a warm feeling inside me. Damn it, Eddie, how fucking pissed are you?

“Go to sleep. I’ll take you home in a few hours.”

“You don’t want any company?” I ask, raising my eyebrows suggestively at her.

“Not in this lifetime, buddy,” she says, leaving the room.

Maybe she isn’t so bad after all, and maybe she is the type of person I need to help me get my life back on track. I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t want to jump my bones.

“Fucking shit, fuck! Why’d you fuckin’ slap me in the head?” It must be Groundhog Day, kill me now.

“You have to get up, we have to leave,” Callie says, standing above me in her grandma attire. I make a mental note to buy her some age-appropriate clothes.

“You couldn’t have woken me up nicely? I would’ve appreciated a handy and he’s already hard so you wouldn’t have had to work hard.”

“Just get up. I don’t have time for you this morning, I have places to be,” she says, looking at her watch. I mean, who wears a watch anymore, it’s twenty-nineteen for fuck’s sake.

“You need to pull the stick out your ass, you look like a stiff in those clothes. Maybe wear something less bitchy tomorrow.” I can see her getting pissed at me. I thought that last night we might’ve bonded a little, but maybe I really was that drunk.

“Maybe if you got up and put your shoes on we could go!” she shouts at me. “Sorry, should I keep my voice down? Do you have a hangover?” Maybe it’s for extra emphasis that she’s banging her hands on the table. “Oops, that’s right, I don’t give a shit. Now, get your damn shoes on or so help me god…”

“Or, so help you god, what?”

“Maybe it’s time to call in your mother? Maybe they were wrong and I can’t help you? When they told me how hard to get along with you can be, I didn’t think it would be this ridiculous.”

“You wouldn’t call the she-bitch? It would cause me to relapse and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“You can’t relapse when you’re still using, asshat.”

“I’m not.” I grab her wrist and look at her watch. “It’s been exactly four hours and twenty-seven minutes and, let’s say, eight seconds that I’ve been sober.”

She snatches her wrist from my hand. “It doesn’t work that way. You don’t just wake up and say you’re sober. You were sleeping so it doesn’t count.”

“Actually, it kind of does count. An addict admits to themselves that they have a problem and decides to get sober, I don’t think there’s an actual rule on what time of day the said addict has to start being sober.”

“You mean you really want to try?” I see her eyes light up, like I just made her day. I want to tell her not to get too excited because I didn’t do it for her, but I get the feeling she needs this moment more than I do.

“Only on my terms.” She can see the look in my eyes, she knows this isn’t going to be easy on her.

“What terms would they be?”

“I don’t know yet, I’ll let you know later.” Before she gets a chance to answer, a car horn beeps outside; saved by the bell.

“Who’s that?” she questions.

“It’s Damien, and possibly Mickki and Marcus.”

“How did they know you were here?”

“It’s magic,” I say with a laugh as I pick up my boots from beside the couch.

“Magic, my ass. They’re going to think we…”

“We fucked?”

“Yes, Eddie, that’s is exactly what they’ll think.” I open the door and pull up my zipper on my jeans. “You asshole!” she screeches. I turn to blow her a kiss and see a heel flying straight for my head; time to get out of here.

“See you later, lover.” I laugh, running for the car before I get another heel thrown my way.

When I’m in the car, I get a look from Damien that says, ‘You’re an asshole.’ He won’t say it in front of Marcus. I don’t know why he’s so scared of him, Marcus might be in charge of the band’s security, but I hired Damien as my personal security.

“Didn’t take you long to stick your dick in her,” Mickki says. I don’t correct him, because if I did I’d have to tell him that I got high as a kite last night. I just shrug instead.

“He didn’t fuck her,” Marcus sneers. “She’s a smart woman and I doubt she even let him anywhere near her.”

“Hey, women can’t resist the monster once they see him.”

“Can we not talk about your dick, Eddie. I swear I’ll cut it off and feed it to you one day.”

“If you dare touch my dick, Mickki, I’ll kill you.”

“Enough children. Damien, let’s stop so this dipshit can at least get a change of clothes before we go to the interview.”

“I don’t need to change, I’m fine,” I protest. I know it sounds stupid, but I wouldn’t have a clue how to buy my own clothes or even what size I am anymore, Delilah buys everything for me. She’s more than just a housekeeper, she’s the mother I always wanted but never got; she looks after me.

“You’re wearing an old Eminem shirt and it’s not appropriate for an interview,” Mickki says as he rolls his eyes at me.

“Fine, pull over,” I say. Marcus reluctantly lets Damien pull the car into a side street. I make Damien pop the boot as I know he keeps a white button-up shirt in there in case I make him do something stupid and he needs to get changed. Marcus steps out of the car with me and watches as I get changed. Damien’s arms might be all muscle, but he must have little T-Rex arms as I need to fold the shirt to my elbows to make it look halfway decent. That cheat, he wears a tie on some elastic, not that I blame him because I couldn't tie one to save my life.

Dressed more appropriately, I get back in the car and pull the elastic band from around my wrist and put my hair up.

“You’re wearing my clothes,” Damien complains.

“Yep, sure am, I can buy you some more.”

“No, you won’t,” he complains.

“You’re right, I won’t, but I pay you way more than I should because I’m a pain in the ass. So, let’s move on before I fire your ass and give Marcus a heart attack because he’ll have to deal with me.”

Walking into Fontaine records, we find Benny, Brodie, and Drew are waiting for us. Oliver’s assistant greets us and takes us back to his office. It must be nice having a rich daddy and not having to work your ass off to get where he is. As we walk in, Oliver is standing with a beautiful blonde.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming,” Oliver says once we’re all in the room. “This is Alex.” I think I’ve missed something, like I’m supposed to know who she is.

“Alex,” Mickki says, looking at Oliver. “She’s a woman?”

“She’s also the best in her field,” Oliver throws back. The rest of the guys are quiet and keep looking at me.

“I don’t doubt she is,” Mickki retorts.

“What’s going on, I thought we had an interview?” I ask.

“This is an interview,” Alex says “It’s just not me interviewing you, it will be you guys interviewing me.”

“You’re hired,” I say, not even knowing what she does.

“Eddie,” the rest of the band says in unison.

“What? She’s hot and I could look at her all day.”

“You don’t even know what we’re interviewing her for,” Benny complains.

“Now you understand our dilemma. Eddie can’t be trusted around women and we’d be looking at a sexual harassment charge and a new manager in a week,” Mickki says, getting frustrated.

“Hey, I pulled a lot of strings to get Alex here. Trust me when I say that she’s the best at what she does and will be getting alternative offers as we speak.”

“Guys, let me interrupt for a second. I’m very professional, and I don’t sleep with my clients, but we can do a trial run and you can see me do my magic. Oliver’s right, I do have other offers, but I want to represent you. If you give me a chance I’ll prove I can do a better job than your last manager.”

“That wouldn’t be hard, Avery was a wanker in tight pants, I think the loss of blood supply to his nuts affected his brain. I vote - you’re in. I also know that you’ll sleep with me, so it’s up to the rest of the band. Damien let’s go, I have places to be.” I say and walk out. Mickki goes to say something, but I honestly don’t give a rat’s ass who our manager is. Mickki’s always handled these things and I have no idea why they even wanted me here today when they clearly know me so well.

My mind is on staying straight today and not getting high. I was serious that I would try, and I think I’ve come up with some terms to tell Callie.