Chapter Six

Callie

My first day on the job has been painful. When I first met Marcus, the head of the bands security, this morning I thought maybe I was being recruited for men in black; he was dressed in a tailored black suit and black sunglasses, and was driving a black SUV. He wasn’t happy when I refused to get in, but just because some rock star said he’d send someone to pick me up doesn’t mean I was going to trust him. This guy could have been some woman smuggler trying to sell me to the highest bidder; not that anyone would want to pay that much money for me, so maybe I’d let my imagination get ahead of me on that.

My poor bertha looked like a real pile of rust parked next to the array of expensive vehicles outside the mansion I was taken to. I was introduced to record producers, band members, staff, and a bunch of people I would probably never remember. We all sat down and they told me about Eddie, then I asked everyone to help rid the house of all alcohol and drugs. He didn’t need any temptations. I explained that this process isn’t easy when you want to get sober, let alone when you’re about to wake up and find out you don’t have a choice. Eddie’s lucky he’s rich, I never had a choice.

When I tried to kill myself, I was put on suicide watch, but Eddie gets me, given that he only OD’d and didn’t intentionally try to hurt himself. It took two hours to scour the house and dispose of everything from drugs to wine and spirits. The smell of the vodka as I poured it down the sink made my mouth salivate. To most it has no smell, but to me it wasn’t just about the smell, it was the voice in the back of my head screaming, ‘You know you want to take a sip so all the bad memories will fade away.’ This place is a user’s dream house.

I decided I’d go in strong, and let’s just say I wasn’t expecting a grown man to have a tantrum like a hormonal teenage girl. It came down to waiting him out, but when the smell of weed drifted through the house I had to walk away and pull myself together; it took every single fibre of my willpower not to fall back into old habits. I even contemplated running far away and not looking back, but hearing his brother and band mates talk about him was what kept me from running. He might mean nothing to me, but he means the world to them. That brings me to now—-finding Eddie at a pub where he’s caused a scene, and I’ve lost both the security guys and his brother. My job is to not take my eyes off him and I hate myself, or more so my body, for the way I felt when he looked at me wearing his ACDC shirt. He was quick to make an exit into a passing cab, and I’d managed to squeeze in and give the driver his address—it could have worked but it didn’t, he just tried to kick me out of the cab.

“I won’t get out. My job is to keep you out of rehab and save your career.”

“I don’t need your help,” he snaps.

“Because that’s so obvious to everyone…you’re making such great life choices.”

“Shut up will you, you know nothing about me,” he says and I see a sliver of a man who deserves my help, even if he thinks he doesn’t need it. “Do you have a mobile I can call Mickki on? I’ll get him to meet us.” Finally, some sense is finding its way into his brain. I hand him my phone, and the second it hits his hand I regret it, I see the glimmer of asshole in his eyes. “Psych, you can have this back after I finish having fun.”

I take a deep breath and use this to my advantage. “How about we make a deal? You give me the drugs in your pocket and I’ll stay off your back tonight about the drinking.” I watch him as he thinks about it. “I could also make a scene when we get wherever we’re going”

“You wouldn’t dare, you’d get fired,” he says matter-of-factly.

“If you hadn’t realised, I really don’t care. If you want honesty, there was a huge bonus for me when I said I’d at least try to deal with your ass, and the more difficult you are, the more I get paid. So, at this rate I’ll earn more money than you will - if your ass doesn’t get sober you’ll be out of a job.”

“Fine,” he says, pulling his hair out of the elastic band and running his hands through it before securing it again.

“Hand them over then,” I say, holding my hand out. He reluctantly reaches into his pocket and hands me a small baggy. “The other one in your boot,” I say, taking a wild guess that he has two stashes. He looks at me, and then to his boot, before pulling another small baggy from his sock. We sit in silence for the rest of the cab ride. When we arrive, Eddie hands the driver a hundred-dollar bill and tells him to keep the change. I find myself a little envious that he has the kind of money to give someone that big of a tip when he doesn’t have to.

As we walk toward the crowded bar, the bouncer at the door nods in Eddie’s direction; they must know each other. I stuff the little baggies into my bra and will dispose of them when I get a chance. I follow him into the club and look around at all the young girls with their skin-tight dresses that barely cover their asses; I feel slightly overdressed. Slowly, we make our way to the bar. He must have magnets in his pants because not one or two, but three, women have found their way to his side; they all look to be in their early twenties at most. I let Eddie know I’ll be waiting until he’s done to get my phone back, and he tries to convince me to loosen up. I don’t feel like my past is something he needs to know about, and find a small table to the side of the dance floor. Eddie throws back his drink and follows the three girls onto the dance floor; I make a mental note to have a talk with Beau about finding a girl who has self-respect. As time goes on, I witness around six girls try to get Eddie’s attention, I’ve watched all of them go unnoticed, he’s too busy watching the ass of the woman who keeps grinding herself on him. As the night slowly drags on, Eddie is still on the dance floor, the smell of alcohol draws me back to the night I tried to end it all, drinking vodka straight from the bottle; my mouth starts salivating at the thought. I get up from my chair and run straight for the ladies’ room and into a stall. With my back pressed against the door, I try my deep breathing exercises, but they don’t work. One day with this guy and I already want to give up on five years of hard work. I pull the baggies from my bra and look at them, for a split second I think about taking the pills from one bag and swallowing them - who would even know? ME, I’d know. I manage to find the strength and flush them before I do something stupid. I need to call Sasha or Mickki and tell them I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough. Opening the toilet door, I walk over to the sink and take a good look at myself. I’m a mess. Taking a deep breath, I know it’s time to get my phone back.

Eddie’s still on the dance floor. He has his back to me and I know he put my phone in one of his pockets. Walking up behind him so he doesn’t even see it coming, I see my phone is sticking half out, grab it and start to walk away, pushing my way through the crowd to get outside, no longer caring what he does. I walk a little way up the road and sit in the gutter, scrolling through my phone I stare at Sasha’s name. It’s the early hours of the morning and I highly doubt she’s awake. Pressing the call button anyway, I decide to leave her a voicemail and she can pass the message on to Mickki that I can’t do this.

“Hello?” comes a sleep-filled voice on the other end of the phone. “Callie? Is everything okay?”

“I can’t do this,” I cry into the phone. “One day with him and I’m already a mess.”

“You can do this. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t think you were ready.”

“Everything I’ve worked so hard for nearly went down the drain for some spoilt, rich, entitled asshole.”

“Please, he isn’t as bad as he makes out. Underneath all the bullshit, he has a heart of gold. He was Amelia’s knight in shining armour, as weird as that sounds, he got her through all the tough times without Billy.”

“He was the guy that was around?” I say, almost speechless that Eddie was the one Amelia wanted around. How could he possibly be good with children?

“I know that now it doesn’t seem like he’s a good man, but he really is. He loved her so much, as if she was his.”

“She’ll always be only Billy’s!” I snap. The thought of Eddie replacing my brother hurts a lot, and that I took that away from him. Damn her for bringing up Amelia, she knows I’d do anything to make up for what I’d done.

“No one will ever forget that,” she chokes back.

“Fine, I’ll do this for Amelia, but if he doesn’t show any signs of being a decent human being anytime soon, I…”

“You’ll bring the best out in him, just wait and see.”

“Speak of the devil, he’s just stumbled out with his cheap floosy,” I say, watching them stumble out the doors together.

“If you need anything, just call me,” she says before ending the call. I watch as Blondie tucks something into her dress and nods at Eddie. I couldn’t even leave him alone for a few minutes. The struggle for today is over and we can start fresh tomorrow. I stand and make my way towards them, cutting them off as they head to the taxi rank.

“Oh look, the fun police are still here,” Eddie slurs. “Who were you so desperate to call, my brother?”

“I didn’t call Mickki,” I say, feeling defeated that my first day on the job has ended in a huge failure.

“I bet she called my mother, the she-bitch,” he whispers to the blonde. Nice to know he hates his mum, that says a lot about a man. I don’t know if the man Sasha remembers is even still inside this guy anymore. Amelia did bring out the best in people, she got that from Billy.

“Just get in the damn cab. I’m tired and hungry, and honestly sick of looking at your stupid face. I want to get my car and go have a really hot bath to wash the bullshit of today off my body, then try and get a few hours' sleep before I have to deal with you again tomorrow,” I say, irritated.

“I don’t have a stupid face,” he says, looking at the blonde briefly before they start making out. I'm repulsed. I get in the first taxi in the line and luckily Eddie follows with his new friend in tow. The drive back to his house is long and painful, listening to the porn star type noises coming from the back, and we’re greeted by another man in black who lets us in the gate. Eddie and the girl sing something as they’re walking to the door. I nod to Damien, Eddie’s personal security, as he lets them inside, but I don’t bother going in. He can think he’s won this round. I get behind the wheel of my car, my hands still shaking, maybe today was so hard because it was the first time since getting sober that I’d been put in a situation like this. It dawns on me that I might be sober, but I’ve been running from my addictions rather than actually facing my demons. The question is, can I face them, and if I do, will I be strong enough to defeat them.