Ain’t too proud to beg.

Charlotte

Beau Hill offered to help my family. He was willing to let them live on his land. Shocked doesn’t even cover how I feel about that.

Sitting on the bed looking around at my parents, huddled together on the matching full sized bed, and my brother curled up on the floor I can’t help but wonder if I should have accepted his offer.

Where on earth are they going to go? What are they going to do? Ranching is all we know. Dad will get something for the land when he sells, but who knows how long it will be before that happens and they can’t live on that money forever. Eventually he will have to make a living doing something else.

I started to bring up Beau’s offer at least a half a dozen times tonight, but each time the words got caught in my throat. My dad is a proud man, even broken and down like he is right now, there’s no way in hell he would accept a Hill’s help.

This feud is ridiculous, how can anyone give a shit about something that supposedly happened over a hundred years ago? How far will they take it? Will my dad let his wife and children live on the streets? Will he spit in the face of the only person able to give him a hand up?

Unfortunately I think he would.

I’m sure people in our community would help out for a while, but housing four people isn’t a picnic and I’m sure it would get old quick. No, I have to come up with something else. There aren’t any rental properties in Redwater, it’s more of a one grocery store, one church and one gas station kind of little town.

I would never qualify for a loan to buy a house. I’ve never worked anywhere but the ranch and the vet hospital, plus I’ve got student loans piling up. Beau’s offer is looking more and more like the only option.

I slide out of bed and tip toe across the room and out into the muggy darkness. The air is thick with moisture from the recent storms but it’s still cool at night. With my heavy cable knit cardigan sweater wrapped around my shoulders I walk around the corner to make the phone call I never imagined I’d make.

The red light of the motel sign feels like a warning. Am I doing the right thing? Should I go behind my father’s back and ask for help from Beau?

Yes, the answer settles solidly in my brain and I pull up his number and press call. I was appalled when he audaciously entered his name and number into my phone but now I’m glad he did. It’s almost like he knew I’d have to call.

I settle into one of two uncomfortable metal lawn chairs set up near the office. It’s late, after eleven o’clock, he’s probably already asleep. Ranch life starts early and goes hard and fast for twelve to sixteen hours a day. When I lived at home I was down for the count by nine o’clock every night without fail. My guess is Beau isn’t much different but I have to do this when I’m alone and that’s not very often these days.

I listen to the hollow ring of a country cell phone call three times, that’s enough to wake someone. I’m hanging up. I start to move the phone away from my ear when I hear his voice.

“Hello?” There is a croak in his hushed voice, he’s been sleeping.

“Beau? I’m sorry to wake you.”

He clears his throat and I hear rustling of sheets. “Charlotte?”

He recognized my voice, there’s no going back now. Nothing is important enough to wake a cowboy after a long day’s work. Except for this.

“Yeah, hey, could we get together and talk tomorrow outside of Redwater, somewhere private?”

I imagine him pushing his hand through his hair as he moves from a deep sleep to semi consciousness.

“Yeah, meet me at the end of our airstrip. Do you know where that’s at?”

“Not exactly, is it East or West of your house?”

“West, there’s a hangar and it can be accessed from the main road so you won’t have to go up the main driveway.”

“What time?”

“Be there at noon.”

“Okay, and um… thanks.”

“You’re welcome but don’t thank me yet.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m pretty sure what you want to talk about and I might want something in return.”

“You never said it was a trade. I distinctly remember you saying all I had to do was ask for your help.”

“Yes, I did say that and it still holds true. All you have to do is ask but I never said there wouldn’t be any stipulations.”

I roll my eyes hard even though he can’t see me and grit my teeth. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. What does he want? I’ll never know if I don’t go and talk to him.

“I’ll be there.”

“Good. See you tomorrow.”

The line goes dead and I’m left standing here holding my phone wondering what I’ve just gotten myself into. What if he wants something… something personal? I sure as hell am not willing to prostitute myself that’s for damn sure. I didn’t make it to twenty-two without giving it up for nothing.

I jam my thumb on the end button. He already hung up but it makes me feel better. How dare he dismiss me like that.

“What are you doing out here?” My sister’s voice comes from behind me making me jump. I twist in my chair and see her looking at my phone suspiciously.

“Nothing I just needed to get out of that cramped room for a little bit.”

“Who were you talking to?”

“Oh, just a friend from school. She was updating me on some things I’ve missed.”

“At this time of night? Shouldn’t she be partying at some frat house?”

Stella has always been envious of me going to college. It’s not like she couldn’t have gone, she was smart and I’m sure she would have gotten scholarships if she hadn’t quit half way through her senior year of high school. Her dropping out taught me a very important lesson, don’t be a quitter, simple but important. She’s been struggling on the ranch with my family her entire life and look where it got her, homeless and jobless.

“She doesn’t party with frat boys, she was awake studying.”

“Oh.” Her face falls as if she were hoping for some drama. I don’t know why, you’d think she’s got enough drama going on in her life right now. “You going back inside?” She hitches her thumb over her shoulder toward our room.

“No, I think I’ll stay out here for a little while longer. There’s too much snoring going on in there anyway. How can you sleep through that?”

She shrugs and takes the lawn chair next to me plopping down and propping up her feet on a potted plant in front of us. “I’m used to it.”

“You sleep alone, how are you used to it?”

She takes out a pack of cigarettes and taps the end until one pops out. She slides it from the box and places it between her bee-stung lips. The cigarette bobs up and down on her lip while she searches for a lighter.

“I don’t sleep alone.”

I sit up from my slouched position and turn my body to face hers. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, you never told me you were seeing someone.”

She finds a purple lighter in her right pocket and lights the tip of her cigarette. I watch her draw on it deeply and hold the smoke before blowing it straight up to keep it out of my face. I never understood the fascination with smoking it’s disgusting.

“I don’t.”

I frown and swat at her arm. “Stop being cryptic, just tell me who you’re sleeping with.”

“Who are you sleeping with?” she asks raising her eyebrows.

I narrow my eyes and cock my head to the side. “You know I don’t sleep with anyone.”

“Still holding the V card huh? Why? You’ve been at ISU for all these years and never had sex?”

“No, I haven’t. I’m saving my virginity for someone special, someone exceptional.”

“Okay sis, you keep telling yourself that.”

“What? I am. It’s important, I’m not going to just give it to any Joe blow, besides, I’m too busy for a relationship, always have been.”

“Nobody’s too busy for sex Charlotte. That’s a cop out, you’re afraid and that’s okay. It’s always scary the first time, you have to take a leap and when you do you’ll wonder why the hell you waited so long.”

I shake my head, “No, that’s not it. Not exactly anyway, I mean I’m a little apprehensive but I think if it’s the right person it shouldn’t be scary. And you never answered my question. Who are you sleeping with that snores?”

She flicks an ash onto the crumbling concrete and I switch positions to wake my sleeping foot underneath me.

“He’s nobody you’d know.”

“Nobody as in he isn’t from around here or nobody. as in. I know him and you don’t want me to know who you’re sleeping with?”

“He isn’t from around here.”

“Where did you meet him?” The prickling sensation in my toes lets me know the blood has started to rush back into them. I wiggle them and cringe. I hate this feeling.

“I don’t want to talk about it, let’s talk about finding a prince charming to deflower you instead.”

“Stella we are facing the most difficult time of our life and you want to focus on getting me laid?”

“Yes. It’s much more fun than worrying about where mom and pop are going to live.”

“Life isn’t all fun, and what do you mean where mom and pop are going to live? Have you and Jake Jr. found a place?”

“Yes, well, I have. Jake Jr. might be staying with his girlfriend.”

“Wait, Jake Jr. has a girlfriend? Since when and who?” It doesn’t seem possible that a woman would be interested in my brother. It’s not that he isn’t attractive because he is, but he’s always been so out there that we aren’t sure of what is really going on in his head.

“Cammie Brown, Wesley’s little sister. She’s really pretty now and she’s all tied up in knots over our little Jakie.”

“Gosh, I’m so out of the loop. So you’re not going to tell me who you’re seeing?”

She stands up and tosses the butt of the cigarette down grinding it into the cement with her sandaled foot. “Nope.” Her smile and fluttering eyelashes tell me she’s got a big secret. I hate it when she keeps something from me. From this moment forward my goal is to #1 find my parents a home and #2 find out who Stella is sleeping with and #3 bump into Jake Jr.’s girlfriend Cammie so I can see how much she’s changed since high school.

“Don’t bother trying either, I see that look in your eyes. You’ll never figure it out unless I decide to tell you and I won’t.”

“You are a wretched terrible sister.”

“But you love me.” She ruffles my hair and returns to our room.

She’s right about one thing, I do love her but she has underestimated my detective skills. I’m used to being busy all the time and since I’ve been home my brain has been searching for things to do. She has essentially challenged me to figure out whom she’s dating and I plan on doing that tomorrow. Right after I meet with Montana’s most eligible bachelor Beau Hill. The man I’m supposed to hate.