Taking Stella home

Ash

Pulling up to the curb, I grip the steering wheel with both hands until my knuckles turn white. She’s here, my mother who I thought abandoned me at birth, is buried in this cemetery.

I put the car in park and open my door to get out. I look down when my bare feet meet with cool air and cold concrete. Shoes. We left the house without shoes.

I hear the passenger door open and close when Stella gets out. She rounds the back of the Rover and stands in front of me in her bare feet. Still staring down, I hear her say, “She won’t care.”

I look up confused, “What?”

“Your mama, she won’t care that we aren’t wearing shoes. She’s just glad you know the truth. She’s been waiting thirty-four years for a visit from her baby.”

I pull her in and hold her tight, tangling my fingers in her hair before she sees my tears fall. I love this woman so much it makes my heart ache. I may have gotten a raw deal with my mother’s death and my father’s blame, but Stella more than makes up for it.

I hold her for a long time until the tears slow and I have the strength to climb the hill and read my mother’s name on a gravestone. When I take hold of her shoulders and put distance between us, I see that she’s been crying, too.

“Sorry,” she says, wiping her nose on the back of her hand sniffing loudly.

“What for?”

“Blubbering when you need me to support you, that your mother is dead, that your daddy lied to you, that you have a half-sister with that woman.”

She’s so damn compassionate and giving. I can’t fucking wait to marry her. I tuck her hair behind her ears and wipe away her tears.

“None of that is your fault, darlin’, and I don’t mind you blubbering at all. Don’t be sorry.”

“It happened to you, and I love you, so I’m sorry.”

“Okay, I’ll accept that. Come on, let’s go see my mama.”

She steps back so I can get out and close the door. It’s a beautiful May day, the sun is shining, a warm breeze rustles the leaves on the trees, and I can hear the trickling of a creek in the distance.

The grass is like plush carpet under our bare feet, the cemetery is meticulously manicured, and every gravestone is clean and polished, proudly displaying the name of its occupant.

Privately owned, the Castle Dale Cemetery is tucked away in a little corner of Montana paradise at the base of a mountain. It’s beautiful and peaceful, exactly where I would want a loved one’s body to spend eternity. At least Adam did one thing right.

At the top of the hill, I don’t have to search for her. An enormous shiny black headstone with the name Michelle Cassandra Pride chiseled into the marble rules the hill. Flanking the stone are two angels, one is looking at a scroll in her hands and the other gazing up at the heavens.

“Wow, it’s beautiful, she was beautiful.” She bends forward to look closer at the small picture of my mother etched into the stone surrounded with pearls.

“Yeah, she was."

We step closer and read the inscription.

Gone are your flesh and bones, gone are your laugh and your smile, gone is the touch of your hand on mine, but our love will live on forever.

“Sounds like he loved her.”

“Yeah, it does. I wish I could have.”

“You still can. You might not have memories of her, but now that you know she didn’t leave you on purpose you can replace those negative feelings about her with positive ones. Maybe you can find people who knew her and discover what kind of woman she was?”

I turn my head and look into her wise eyes and reach for her hand. She steps into my side and leans her head against my chest. “Mom, this is Stella, I’m gonna marry her. She’s beautiful and smart and loving, and she loves my son like he was her own. I love her, and I think you would have loved her, too.”

She tips her head up pressing her cheek against my chest, and I look down at her tucked under my arm. “Thanks for introducing me to your mama.”

“No problem. Think she’d be opposed to me kissing you in front of her?”

“No, I think she’d be glad to know how loved you are.”

I nod, “I like the way you think, Mrs. Pride.”

“Future-Mrs. Pride.”

“Formalities.” I lower my head and cover her mouth with mine kissing her with so much passion I imagine my mother is blushing in heaven.