Ridge

Home Again, Home Again

She’s gone. The house is quiet, too quiet, quieter than I remember it ever being before. No one is home, except the house staff, and I’m going stir crazy with nothing to do. Ash’s schedule has been cleared for two weeks so he can spend time with his family leaving me with unwanted time on my hands, time I’d like to be spending with Allison.

She should be home around six o’clock tonight, and she promised to call when she arrived so I would know she got in safe. Ninety percent of me wants to book a flight to New York and spend every available minute of the next two weeks with Allison. I’ve even gone so far as to open my laptop to find the flight, but that ten percent of suspicious, untrusting residue left from five years ago won’t let me push the button.

Damn my fucking hate of that city, that magazine, and the princess of pop who tried to ruin my life. My finger hovers, shadowing the return button. I want to do it. I want to go, so why the hell can’t I?

Maybe Ash is right. Maybe nobody will notice, or if they do, maybe they won’t care. If only there were a way to test the waters. I could wear a disguise. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s for sure, although hiding a six-foot-five, two hundred forty pound man isn’t exactly easy.

No. I close the laptop and toss it onto the cushion next to me. What am I thinking? I’ve been careful for five years, and now I’m considering blowing my cover for a woman? A soft, curvy, smart, sexy woman who makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Yeah, I am.

I need something to do, a distraction. I should finish up whatever Stella wanted to do in the nursery. Not an ideal project for a man who doesn’t know shit about babies, but something to do nonetheless.

I take the stairs down to the second floor walking the long hall to the backside of the house where the nursery is right across from Ash and Stella’s room and down the hall from Cannon’s.

I open the door and flick on the light. I haven’t been in here before. I usually steer clear of anything baby related. I’m pleasantly surprised to find a very tastefully decorated room done in pale gray and accents of white and silver. No gaudy bubble-gum pink or superhero themes like Cannon’s Silver Surfer chrome bedroom. They didn’t know the baby’s sex, so they had to keep it neutral, but I have a feeling Stella would have chosen something classy anyway.

There are no sheets on the crib, and two piles of bedding are on the dresser—one pale pink and the other blue. I’m surprised Cannon didn’t put the pink sheets on and throw the blue ones in the fireplace. He was dead set on having a sister. It’s a good thing he was right.

I set about making the crib and taking things out of boxes to place on the built-in shelves surrounding the window. There are stuffed animals, books, Beatrix Potter bookends, a silver picture frame for Lydia’s first picture, and a music box that plays ‘Love Story’ by Francis Lai. I recognize the music because my wife used to play it on the piano for me. She said we were the perfect love story come true, and I suppose she was right.

But it was a love story that came to a screeching halt when cancer took my wife and my unborn baby from me nearly overnight. Stage four metastatic breast cancer. That’s what the doctor said when he sat us down in his office. I’ll never forget it. His hands were folded on the desk in front of him, and he looked at us straight on with no emotion. Chloe was five months’ pregnant, the baby wasn’t viable for another month, and they gave her three weeks to live. She didn’t even make it that long. It was like they were with me one day and gone the next.

I swore I would never love again, and I haven’t—until now. This thing with Allison is more powerful and passionate than what Chloe and I shared. Chloe and I had a love that was sturdy. It could withstand anything, except cancer.

That love was gentle and slow as where Allison and I are fierce, passionate, and desperate for one another. Chloe was a soft breeze where Allison is a gust of wind that takes your breath away.

I close the music box and place it on a shelf within Cannon’s reach so he can play it often for his baby sister, Lydia. I hope it brings them both beautiful memories.

When I close the door to Lydia’s nursery, it’s only been an hour. I head to my office to catch up on a few projects and work ahead on others. I don’t glance at the time again until my stomach growls, and it’s seven o’clock. Allison should have called an hour ago.

I will not overreact. I’ll make myself something to eat, and if she still hasn’t called by the time I’m done eating, I’ll text her. That’s reasonable, isn’t it? Yes, perfectly.

Thirty minutes later I’m done eating a turkey sandwich and still no call. I shoot her a casual message.

Me: Home yet?

I lay the phone on the coffee table turning the TV on for background noise and have a seat on the couch, the same couch Allison blew my mind from this morning. It seems like forever ago. I already miss her more than I expected I would. My phone dings a return text, and I grab the phone.

Allison: Yes, I’m home, just got in. Traffic was terrible, and they thought they lost my suitcase, and then I had to pick up David.

Me: I’m sorry but glad you’re both home safe and sound.

Allison: Thanks. Miss you already.

I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. She misses me, too. Ever since I put her in that helicopter this morning, I’ve been worrying about what the distance between us will do to our feelings. Things were easy when she was within my reach night and day, and her only responsibility was to complete a photo shoot. Now she’s at home where work and her brother will be taking up the majority of her time.

Me: I miss you, too, more than you can know.

Allison: I almost turned around at the airport in Montana.

Me: I wish you would have. This house is crazy quiet.

Allison: That’s right, you’re all alone, aren’t you?

Me: Yes, unfortunately.

Allison: You’re always welcome here, you know.

Me: Thank you for the open invitation. I might need it. I’ll let you get unpacked and off to bed. Dream of me.

We talked about this before she left when we were scheduling times to see each other. I made it clear that I will not go to New York, but now, after being separated for a mere seven hours, I’m rethinking that decision.

Allison: I’m sure I will. Good night, Ridge.

Me: Good night, angel.

In the morning, I greet Ash, Stella, Cannon, and little Lydia when they arrive home from the hospital.

“It’s good to have you all home.” I take the car seat from Stella while Ash helps her with her coat. She looks exceptional for a woman who just had a baby two days ago. If I saw her on the street, I’d never guess.

“It’s good to be home, the food at that hospital was terrible,” Ash says. Olivia takes their coats, and we walk through the foyer toward the kitchen. “I need something other than processed turkey on a hamburger bun and slimy canned peaches.”

“I second that,” Stella says sitting down carefully at the kitchen table. I place the car seat holding a tiny Lydia at her feet.

“I want Caption Crunch,” Cannon announces climbing onto a bar stool at the island.

“That I can do,” I say opening a cupboard with bowls and crossing the kitchen to the pantry for his cereal. “I think Martha left homemade blueberry muffins in the container on the counter. If you want something cooked, I’ll get it for you. She had a dentist appointment this morning.”

“You don’t have to do that. I know how to scramble some eggs. It’s no big deal,” Ash says looking in all the wrong cupboards for a pan.

“Please, I’ve been bored out of my mind, let me do it,” I say.

Ash closes the cupboard where garbage bags are kept and looks at me. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

I nod. “I’m sure.”

Ash sits with Stella, and Lydia sleeps in her seat while I pour Cannon his cereal and cook breakfast. “Ridge, I want to thank you again for everything,” Stella says getting up to butter the toast that popped up.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad it all turned out well.”

“Ridge, I know I’m on vacation.” He holds up his hands making quotation marks around the word vacation. “Which means you’re on vacation, but would you mind making plans to get Charlotte and Beau here for a few days this week?”

“Of course, I’ll get right on it.” Thank God, something to do. Not that it will be difficult or time-consuming, a few phone calls about the jet and an itinerary will take care of it, but I’m glad to help.

“Also, I finished putting things away in the nursery, and Ash, there are a few forms on your desk you need to sign. You don’t have to do anything, just sign them. I know you’re on vacation.” I hold up quotation marks when I say vacation as he did, and both of them laugh.

“Ridge, was that a joke you just made? I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you goof around,” Ash says smiling.

“That’s what happens when you fall in love, honey,” Stella says to her husband like she’s speaking to a child. He takes it in stride and rolls his eyes. “Speaking of that, when did Allison leave for New York?”

“Yesterday morning.”

She’s quiet for a moment staring at me in disbelief. “What?” I ask sitting down next to her at the table.

“You didn’t deny it.”

“Deny what?”

“That you love her. I used the word love, and you didn’t freak out or correct me.”

I shrug and sit back lifting my leg to rest my ankle on my knee. I’m not going to deny it. I’m not sure if it’s love, but it damn sure is something.

Her eyes widen, and she gasps. “It’s true. You love her. Ash, Ridge loves Allison.” She shoves her husband’s shoulder.

“That’s great,” he says with less enthusiasm. He’s a guy. Guys don’t freak out about feelings.

“That’s great? That’s all you have to say? This is monumental, Ridge, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you, it’s all new, and we aren’t sure how well the long-distance thing will work, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

“Anything you want, Ridge, just ask, and it’s yours. Extra time off, use of the jet, whatever. These eggs are fantastic by the way,” she says taking a huge bite.

“Did you just tell my personal assistant and head of security he can do anything he wants?” Ash asks Stella.

“I did. He delivered our daughter into the world. It’s the least we can do.” She gives him a what are you going to do about it look and lifts her chin defiantly.

“She’s never gonna let me live that down, ya know?” Ash says to me, and I chuckle. They both know the other is kidding. And they both know with one hundred percent certainty that I would never take advantage of that offer.

I stand and push in my chair. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have some travel plans to make for your sister and her family. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“I’m sure we’ll be okay. In fact, if you want to say, oh you know, fly to New York and visit a certain raven-haired beauty for a few days, I think that would be okay, too.”

“Very generous of you Mrs. Pride, but I’m not a fan of big cities. I’ll wait until she comes to visit in two weeks.” Her eyes light up at the mention of her return.

“She’s coming to visit? That’s wonderful! Aren’t you glad you didn’t hide from her this time?”

She has no idea how glad.