Nimble Nuances
Contradictions accompanied his gnawing distress
Making him surrender his peace under duress
Wanting to run, he found himself still
Watching things unfurl posed a twisted thrill
Kingston
I stood by the bar in my hotel, sharing a drink with my peers, winding down from the busy day we’d had at our New York office. I’d flown in this morning. My financial team had already been here for two days, setting up the groundwork, organizing meetings. They were settled in the same hotel, enjoying their dinner in the hotel’s restaurant.
My gaze found her in the crowd, awkwardly chatting with her teammates, utterly unaware of me.
She’d barely acknowledged my presence all day, focusing solely on work. It was like she didn’t even know I existed. It shouldn’t have mattered to me but seeing her so calm and composed riled me up. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of abandonment.
Since seeing her again, there hadn’t been even a single time where she’d shown guilt, nor even regret. Not a single flicker in her eyes. It seemed like it didn’t matter to her, the magnitude of damage she’d left behind five years ago.
The thought enraged me.
I took a sip out of my glass and refocused on the conversations around me. She didn’t deserve my attention. For the next ten minutes, I dove into the discussions, until I got a call from Alex.
“Hang on, Alex.” I spoke to the people around me: “Excuse me, I need to take this.”
I walked to the side of the room, my body tense. Alex was the last person I wanted to talk to tonight. My mind was too fucked up to have a decent conversation with him. The guilt of having Vienna working with me was eating at me. I had no fucking clue how Alex would take this news.
He still hadn’t forgiven me for stealing the girl he’d been in love with, and once he found out Vienna worked with me, I doubt we’d ever recover.
I finished my drink.
I needed it in my system. “Hey, Alex, how’s it going?”
He was in England taking care of a merger to get some permits in place for the mall we were building, and it was past midnight there.
I silently gestured for the bartender to refill my glass.
“Just a minute. l just lost the information I’d displayed on the screen.” Alex’s tone was formal and devoid of emotion.
I hated it. It was so far away from the way we used to be. Despite our five-year age difference, Alex and I had always been close. Apart from the occasional comparisons thrown at us, and the harmless competitive streak, we got along just fine. I’d always taken my role as the elder brother very seriously.
That hadn’t changed, despite the rift between us. I would always be there for him, keeping him out of trouble, making sure he was happy. Even after our father passed away and the entire load of our family empire fell on me, I made sure Alex didn’t have to let go of his education. I gave him the time to sort through his life and decide to join me in the family business once he was ready.
“I just want to discuss these new reports I was handed this morning. Is it a good time?”
“What’s wrong with them?” My tone came out a little sharp. Over the years, Alex’s aloof demeanor had exhausted my efforts. I couldn’t help but be a little pissed at him—he barely tried to maintain our relationship; it was always me trying. That was the core difference between us. I didn’t wallow. I accepted what life gave me and kept moving, letting it go, but learning from it. As for Alex, his most prominent vice was his pride. Rejection never sat well with him, and he wasn’t one to let go of a grudge. He ripped everything apart trying to analyze his failure, while I retracted and refocused.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. I just need to discuss the points concerning the marketing aspect.” His tone was clipped as if trying to hold on to his temper.
“Go on. I’m listening.” I leaned against the bar and stared at the bartender, who was filling up my glass. I’d never been a drinker, despite being part English—a nation of people renowned for downing pints. My mom was from England, and I’d spent many summers and my entire college life there. But since Vienna had stepped back into my life, only alcohol helped me feel comfortably numb. Without it, I felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. I couldn’t afford that. I wouldn’t give her or anyone else the satisfaction.
For the next five minutes, Alex filled me in on all the details. I agreed with everything he said, not finding a flaw. Alex was nothing if not meticulous and precise with his work, and I sincerely admired him for these traits. It had been a massive help in the company. “That sounds perfect. Glad you were able to take the time out and sort through these. Go ahead and implement it ASAP. I’ll be in England next month, and we can see how it goes then.”
“Anything else?” he asked.
How about a truce? My mind warred with that idea but couldn’t speak it aloud. “How have you been doing? It’s been a busy few months with the new launches.”
“I’m all right. The last leg of the trip was a little tiring, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Great.” The bartender handed me my drink, and I took a sip. I wanted us to talk, but words failed me. The rift between my brother and me was too broad.
Alex cleared his throat. “So, I guess I’ll see you Sunday.”
I gritted my jaw mid-sip. Alex was going to be in Malibu next week, the same time we would be back. Anxiety coursed through my body. As far as I knew, Vienna had broken off contact with Alex as well.
He’s moved on, my mind pacified. He’s engaged and happy with Chloe.
I took another sip and decided to let it go. There was no use wondering about it. What had to happen would happen. I just had to deal with it. “Sounds great. Give me a shout if you want to hang out. There’s a game that Sunday.” I hoped he would accept but knew better.
“I doubt I’ll have time. Chloe wants me to check out a few venues for the wedding.”
“How’s she doing? Have you guys set the date yet?”
“She’s keeping busy but doing very well. We thought since her case should be done by May, we’d have the wedding the first week of July. Mom says that will work wonderfully.”
“That sounds great.”
I couldn’t believe Alex was getting married in only four months. The news of his engagement had surprised me, but also made me happy. I was glad he’d taken a chance. After what we’d been through, I’d been afraid he would end up like me, hating the idea of love, but when Chloe came into his life last year, things had started to look up for him. I could see he loved her as much as she loved him, and they made a great couple.
I just hoped Vienna didn’t create issues.
My gaze wandered around, searching for the one who could’ve been mine if she hadn’t ruined it all, but Vienna was nowhere to be seen. The group she’d been with was still sitting and chatting.
Where had she gone?
Conflict warred within me. A part of me wanted to go look for her, to make sure she wasn’t up to something, while the other didn’t want to care, didn’t want to be associated with her.
Maybe an even smaller part of me was worried that this new vulnerable Vienna had gone off and fainted somewhere.
“Goodnight, Kingston.” Alex’s voice broke through my distraction.
“Goodnight,” I managed, before the line went dead.
I took a moment to finish my drink before I headed back to the group, concerned about Vienna’s disappearance.
Two of my colleagues passed by, wishing me goodnight as they headed back to their rooms.
The group I was standing with seemed to be dissipating as well; the conversation couldn’t hold without a person who needed to hear their ideas.
Glad for some solitude, I sat by the bar and checked my emails, wishing a few colleagues goodnight as they passed.
“Excuse me, sir.”
I looked up from my phone to see a barely legal staff member standing beside me, looking a little nervous. “What?”
“I don’t know if you’re the right person to talk to or not.”
“Who are you looking for?” I put my phone down.
“There was this lady, you know, ethnic looking, petite, curly hair, black pencil suit.”
My body stilled at the description.
I dreaded his next words. “What happened to her?” I stood up, ready, my effort to avoid her surpassed by my urgent need to know she was all right. My hands were tightly fisted, a million dreadful possibilities running through my mind.
“Do you know her?”
“Get to the point.” My temper was hanging on its last thread.
“Well, she ran out of the main door. She didn’t seem all right. She ran out like something bad had happened to her. She was shivering and crying. The bellhop tried to stop and ask her what was wrong, but she just ran.”
I glared at the employee, making him stutter as he tried to give me the details.
“I just wanted to inform somebody that might know her and see if they can, uh, you know, get hold of her and, uh, make sure she was all right. She left without a jacket, and there’s a storm warning, and we don’t want—”
“Which way did she go?” I was by the entry already, pushing the huge doors open and walking into the cold New York night with the young employee on my heels.
“Victor saw where she went. He was the one who informed me. He says she ran away in that direction.” He pointed left.
“I don’t believe she could’ve gone that far. It was only a couple minutes ago. But it’s not safe to be outside.”
I took off running before he’d even finished his sentence, already worried about her wellbeing.
Nothing at this point, not my anger, my hatred, my conflicts, mattered.
All that mattered was that she was all right.