It was only eleven in the morning, and the day seemed like it was creeping by. I was still stuck in my head, feeling myself pushing Lacey further and further away. There was a wall being constructed very quickly around my heart, and although part of me was doing it to protect Lacey from the stress of a relationship with a widower, a lot of it was to protect my own heart. Keeping Lacey at arm’s length would ensure that Bella didn’t get attached in a way that would hurt her when Lacey eventually left to teach at a school. It would also keep me from getting hurt, something that I didn’t think I could take after everything that happened with Isabella. There was pain and guilt inside of me that Lacey would never be able to understand, and I knew it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask her to live with it.

I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard the knock on the front door. It would be Lacey, arriving to start tutoring Bella for the day. I had decided that I wasn’t going to pursue something with Lacey, but at the same time, I needed to be a little less standoffish. She hadn’t done anything wrong, and I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had. That wasn’t fair. I knew that it was incredibly confusing to her, but I couldn’t find the courage to tell her what was really going on. I had some really strong feelings for her—that part hadn’t left me at all—and I feared that if she tried to comfort me, to bring me past all of this, I would just melt into her arms. Getting out of another situation like that would be very difficult, and I needed to shield all of us from that.

“Hey,” I said, forcing a smile.

“Hey there,” she said, looking less upset than the day before. “How has your morning been?”

“It’s been good,” I said, following her into the kitchen. “Bella had a good nap. She is raring and ready to go for tutoring today, and the sun is shining. What more could I ask for?”

“How about a hot meal tonight?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I wanted to know if I could cook you and Bella dinner tonight after tutoring was over?”

“That would be so awesome,” Bella said, coming out of her room.

I had to admit, putting me in a position where I wasn’t sure how to say no and letting Bella hear irritated me a little bit. I tried not to be upset, though. The signals I had been giving Lacey weren’t exactly clear or fair in any way. Still, now I almost felt obligated to say yes because Bella looked so excited. I wrestled with it in my brain for a little while, trying to find the right words.

“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my hands through my hair.

“Why not?” Lacey smiled and put her hands on her hips.

I stood there staring at her for several moments, not sure how to answer. I ran through a million different excuses, but they were all transparent, and I didn’t have an actual reason to say no. On top of that, the way she was standing there staring at me with a coy smile was absolutely adorable, and the irritation I had felt just a moment before completely drained out of me. I didn’t know how Lacey did it, but she had an incredible way of making me want to tell her yes to everything. I wanted to give her anything she wanted in that moment, like I was under some sort of spell. I glanced down at Bella, who was mimicking Lacey’s stance. I smiled and shook my head with a deep sigh.

“What will you be cooking?” I asked.

“Yay,” Bella yelled with her hands in the air.

“Spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread,” Lacey said in a triumphant tone.

“That’s my favorite,” I said sweetly with a warm genuine smile.

“Mine too!” Bella yelled, jumping up and down.

“That makes three of us,” Lacey said, bending down to Bella. “Are you ready to learn some new stuff? I decided to make today all about space day!”

“Did you know that Pluto isn’t a planet anymore?” she asked, making us chuckle.

“I did know that,” Lacey said. “How did you?”

“I heard it on one of Daddy’s space shows,” she said confidently.

“Poor Pluto,” I said laughing.

“I know, right?” Lacey looked up at me. “Alright, let’s get to work so that later on, we can enjoy some killer spaghetti and relax!”

I watched as the two of them made their way down the hall and to the office. I didn’t know what Lacey had done to me, but it was really hard to keep my resolve around her. I felt so sure and determined in my choices, then I looked her in the eye and I just completely and totally melted. She wanted to cook us dinner, and I could have come up with a million excuses, but I didn’t, and I thought that was because deep down inside, I wanted to have dinner with her again. I wanted dinner to turn into a movie and a movie to turn into alone time with Lacey. No matter how resolved I thought I was, apparently it was no match for the kind of feelings I had for her, and that was a problem I wasn’t in the mood to solve. Instead, I just decided to get some work done and wait for the dinner with her and my daughter.

After about two hours of tutoring, it was lunch time, and I pulled out some mac and cheese and hot dogs for us. When Lacey rounded the corner, though, she had her purse over her arm and her keys in her hand. Obviously, she had something else on her mind.

“Hey, I’m going to run out to the store as fast as I can to grab the supplies to make dinner tonight.”

“Don’t worry about going crazy. I heard the lessons today. Bella learned a ton.” I smiled. “Take your time, and we will see you in a little while.”

“Thank you.” She smiled, her shoulders easing. “You are going to love the spaghetti tonight. It is pretty much amazing.”

“I am already looking forward to it.” I chuckled.

I watched as she left, feeling a tingle in my chest. She made me happy, even when I was trying my hardest to not let her do so. I finished up lunch and brought Bella to the table, eating and listening to her talk about all the things she learned about space. Lacey was right. My little girl was incredibly intelligent, and she was capable of putting what she learned from Lacey together with what she learned from the space shows, and it actually made sense to her. It was like you were handing her the missing link, and she was crazy excited about it.

When lunch was done, we cleaned up and took a walk on the beach, trying to keep Bella from crashing. I knew she was still trying to get past the whole two naps a day thing, and Lacey was still gone. Hopefully when she got back, Bella would perk up and maybe help her cook dinner or something.

“Look at those tiny little specks out there,” I said, pointing out the white dots in the distance. “Those are very large ships heading either out to sea or in to port.”

“Why do they look so small?”

“Good question my little genius,” I said, standing up. “It is called the visual angle. It is how our eyes work. The farther away something is, the smaller it appears to us.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding.

I had to try to hold back my chuckle because she was so adorable when she was that serious. I picked her up, threw her up on my shoulders, and walked back to the house, my mood instantly lifting. Ever since she was born, Bella had been the person in my life that reminded me to stop stressing out so badly. She reminded me to look at the world from a bigger view, let life happen, and to open my eyes to the beauty that was all around me. I didn’t know what I was going to feel like tomorrow, but for the rest of that day, I was going to experience life and just let Lacey continue to make me feel good.

By the time we got back, Lacey was arriving with bags of groceries in her hands. I couldn’t imagine what she would need beyond spaghetti sauce and noodles, but I figured she might have changed her mind. I sat there glancing over at her as she chopped different vegetables, pulled out a pot, put tomatoes in it, seasoned it, and continued to make her own spaghetti sauce from scratch. I had never seen anyone take the time to do that, and the smell that filled the house was absolutely amazing. By the time it was ready, I was starving, and we all sat around in silence, eating her food. It was absolutely amazing, like something a chef would make.

“Lacey, this honestly has to be the best spaghetti I have ever had,” I said with shock. “Seriously, whenever it is spaghetti night, I am hiring you to come make it from now on.”

“It’s yummy,” Bella said with a mouthful of noodles.

“Thank you.” She giggled. “It was my great-grandmother’s recipe. I’ve actually never bought a jar of spaghetti sauce, not even in college.”

“Really? I am pretty sure I have never made anything from scratch.” I laughed.

“Lacey,” Bella said, turning to her. “Will you stay for a movie?”

“It’s up to your dad,” she said, looking up at me.

“Of course, you can stay,” I said, smiling at her.

“Then, yes, what are we watching?”

“Transformers!” Bella was so excited.

“I love that movie,” Lacey replied.

We finished up dinner, and as Lacey was packing up the rest of the sauce for the freezer, I got Bella bathed and ready for the movie. We all sat around watching quietly. Lacey shifted on the couch, and her hand brushed against mine on the couch between us. She glanced up at me with red cheeks, and I smiled sweetly at her, just happy to have her there with us again. Things felt normal again, at least for that moment, and I continued to push the fears out of my head.

By the halfway point of the movie, Bella was passed out on the couch, so I left the movie playing and carried her to bed, kissing her gently before returning. When I got back in the living room, though, Lacey had turned off the movie and was getting ready to leave. She smiled up at me as she put her purse over her shoulder, and I could feel in my gut that I didn’t want her to leave.

“Thanks for having me for dinner.” She smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Before she could walk away, I reached out and gently grabbed her arm, turning her back around and toward me. I reached my hands around her face and passionately pressed my lips against her mouth, tasting her sweetness on my tongue. She stiffened and then released, running her hand across my stomach and leaning into the kiss. I could feel the heat surge through me immediately, and I couldn’t believe how turned on I found myself. I wanted Lacey, no matter what else was going on in my head. I wanted to feel her body close to mine, and my restraint was completely gone.