I grabbed my keys and looked down at my watch, glad that I had the time to go to Aggie’s for a cup of coffee before heading over to tutor Bella. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, laying in bed thinking about how amazing the sex was that we had. It had been even better than the dream I had, and it was completely screwing with my mind. I walked out to the car and tossed my bag in the back, pulling my phone out to call to see if Caspian wanted some coffee. As I pulled out onto the road, I picked up my phone, but before I could call, it rang, showing Jessa’s beautiful face on the screen. I smiled and put the phone to my ear, glad to hear my best friend’s voice.

“Well, hello there, beautiful,” I said, smiling. “I have missed you terribly.”

“If you called a girl every once in a while, it would be a little bit easier on you,” she said grumpily. “I called you last night, but you didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I said, blushing. “I had a… work thing to handle.”

“How is that job going by the way?”

“It’s really freaking awesome,” I said. “Bella is the sweetest and smartest little girl I have ever met. She is the reason I wanted to become a teacher. Seriously.”

“Wow,” she said suspiciously. “How are her parents?”

“I don’t know anything about her mother except that she isn’t around,” I said. “And Caspian is cool.”

“Caspian? You call your boss by his first name like it’s nothing?”

“It’s not exactly a super professional atmosphere.” I laughed.

“Oh yeah? How unprofessional are we talking?”

“Don’t,” I said, knowing where she was going.

“Oh my God,” she squealed. “Are you serious?”

“Okay, okay,” I said, blushing. “Stop screaming, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“I’m calm,” she said breathlessly.

“I slept with Caspian last night,” I said quickly.

“Good for you,” she said excitedly.

“I don’t know how good for me it is,” I scoffed. “I mean, this could get really complicated or bad for me. What if things don’t work out between us, and he fires me? Technically, I don’t have rent, but I need a job. And I really like this job.”

“You need to relax,” she said. “Stop stressing out about all of this and just go with the flow. I know that is hard for you, but it is a normal thing that everyone does. Just let whatever is going on between the two of you happen naturally. If you fight it at this point, it will just make things worse and really awkward. Do you like the guy?”

“Yes.” I sighed. “I really like him. I don’t know if I can just go with the flow on this one. You know how I worry about every damn thing. This is just going to be another thing for me to freak out about.”

“Yes, and then you will self-destruct your own love life like you always do,” she said. “You want to keep your job, and you like this guy. The only choice you have is to go with the flow. Don’t force it, and don’t push it away. Just let it go.”

“I will give it my best shot,” I said, pulling up to Aggie’s. “But hey, I’ll call you later. I am running late.”

“If you weren’t out getting some, you would be on time,” she teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” I replied, climbing out of the car. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, lover girl.” She giggled as she hung up the phone.

I stood there on the curb for a moment, stuffing my phone in my purse and trying to push down the nerves in my chest. Going with the flow was not something that has ever been in my vocabulary, and I had no idea how I was supposed to just magically start doing it right then and there. I shook my head and went inside of Aggie’s, trying to focus on what I had to do that day, which included facing Caspian and hoping for a good reaction from him. My mind was so preoccupied that I ordered my breakfast and coffee and completely forgot to ask Caspian if he wanted something. I got in the car and drove off, realizing that my head was so far in the clouds that I wasn’t going to be able to teach Bella if I kept it up.

I pulled up to the house and swallowed hard as I walked inside, but surprisingly, I was greeted with a kiss on the cheek and a warm welcome. My nerves began to slowly melt away with the smile plastered across Caspian’s face. Maybe Jessa was right. Maybe I was overthinking this like everything else in my life.

“She is waiting for you,” he said. “And so was I.”

I smiled and blushed and made my way back to the office, seeing Bella sitting quietly in the chair by the desk. As soon as she saw me, she straightened up and took a deep breath. I kept my giggle to myself, finding her seriousness completely adorable.

“I have something to show you,” she said seriously.

“Wonderful, what is it?”

I stood there and watched as she cleared her throat and counted from one to twenty without the slightest bit of hesitation. When she was done, she looked at me with more pride than I had ever seen her have before. I put my things down and began to clap, smiling big and shaking my head in awe. Bella was so incredibly intelligent that I was starting to think she would quickly outgrow me before I did her. Whenever she struggled with something, she worked even harder to figure things out and make it happen. I had never met a five-year-old with that much reasoning in their little brain. I walked around the desk and picked her up, squeezing her tightly in my arms. I adored Bella so very much, and with that realization, my heart sank just a little bit. That was something I hadn’t taken into account when thinking about any kind of future with Caspian.

What would happen if we did start to seriously see each other and things didn’t work out? Not only would I lose Caspian, but I would lose Bella, too, something that almost felt like it would be worse than the break-up itself. This little girl had obviously lost her mother in one way or another, and then I was possibly putting her in the position of losing someone else that cared about her deeply. I knew it wasn’t normal to think about the end of a relationship, even before it had started, but I had never felt that way about someone. I’d never had the chemistry I had with Caspian or felt the way I did about a child of the man I was thinking about dating. In fact, I had never been with a man that had a child, so all of this was incredibly new to me.

I put Bella back down on the floor and pushed the thoughts as far away as I possibly could. I needed to continue with the lessons for the day and show Caspian that I could still teach his daughter, even with something else going on. We went through the lessons for the morning really easily, and I decided to throw in the next ten numbers on the number line just to see how she would do. When it was time for lunch, Caspian came to get us, looking happier and more cheerful than I had seen him.

“I’m cooking some burgers on the grill.” He smiled. “I had leftovers from yesterday.”

“Sounds amazing.” I smiled.

“You like cheese on your burger?”

“Yes, please,” I said sweetly, putting the files in the bag.

“Perfect, come meet us on the deck,” he said, tapping the door frame and walking away.

I smiled and shook my head, feeling like everything was going exactly how I wanted. But now, I was completely confused by it all. I walked out and stood in the living room, watching Caspian at the grill, dancing around with his spatula. I covered my mouth and giggled, and at that moment, I decided that even if it were just for the day, I was going to go with the flow. I didn’t want to miss out on the amazing mood that Caspian was in, especially since it was seeping over to Bella as well. She was standing on the deck dancing along with him, and there was absolutely no music playing.

I grabbed some plates, silverware, and napkins and brought them out to the deck, setting the table. I pulled the leftovers out of the fridge from the day before and set them out, smiling as Caspian turned around with the burgers. We all sat around the table and filled our plates, not caring about the time, the lessons, or anything else that was going on in our lives at that moment. We talked about life, about travel, about all the things that Caspian had done in his life. It was an amazing afternoon, and by the time we started to clean up, Bella had wandered inside and fallen asleep on the couch.

“Should I wake her?” I asked.

“Nah, let her sleep,” he said, leaning over and kissing my lips. “I’m going to clean up, but I want you to take a beer from the fridge and go sit on the deck. You deserve to relax for a little while.”

“I like this,” I said, smiling, taking a beer out of the fridge and handing it to him to open.

He popped the top off the lid with the opener on the counter and pulled it close to him, leaning forward and pursing his lips. I smiled and leaned in, kissing him firmly, leaning into it and feeling the emotion behind it. When I pulled away, I was almost out of breath, and he stared at me with surprise, showing me he was feeling the exact same thing. He shivered and smiled, leaning his head back and chuckling.

“Go relax,” he said, swatting me on the butt.

I turned and walked outside, stopping for a second to put the blanket carefully over Bella. When I walked back outside, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath of sea air, remembering for a second why I came to Maine in the first place. I wanted a chance at life somewhere I could do what I loved, meet someone with common interests, and try to enjoy life for once. I had been able to escape the city, something that even Jessa thought I would never do. I had defied every instinct I had and turned down job offers at schools in the city. I wanted more than just money. I wanted quality of life, quality that I knew that I could find in Blue Hill.

I sat down in the chair on the deck and leaned back, closing my eyes and listening to the waves crash against the shore. The birds flying above squawked loudly, and I smiled, thinking about how I used to sit on my grandparent’s deck for hours when I was younger, happy to escape the stress of my parents’ disconnection.

Caspian had been amazing, cooking the most delicious burgers, opening up our conversation line, and never once making me feel uncomfortable or awkward about what happened the night before. I could definitely get used to this kind of life and spending this time with a man like Caspian and a little girl that stole my heart every time she looked at me with her father’s eyes. If I was in trouble, I didn’t care one bit in that moment.