I stood at the window in my house, staring out at the sun-bathed beach in front of me. It had stormed all night, but the only way you could tell was the line in the sand where the sea had surged. Everything else was beautiful. Birds flew high overhead, a calm wave lapped the shore, and the warmth of the summer beamed through the large glass windows of the living room. I wondered if it was this calm the day after Isabella died, and how that would possibly feel to Caspian, standing at the shop, still looking for his wife. I was still reeling over the revelation that Caspian had given me the day before. It was the most tragic story I had ever heard, and it happened to someone I cared so much for. I could almost feel the pain he felt inside of him surging outward through the shop. I now understood why he closed the place down, even if I still thought he should move forward with it.

I wanted so badly to help him let go of his guilt so that he could move on with his life. The death of his wife wasn’t something that he would ever forget, and it would always weigh heavily on his soul, but it didn’t have to be this way. He held on to guilt, but if he could let go of it, I could almost promise him that his heart would start to heal. I sighed and turned from the window, looking down at my watch. I needed to get to his house to continue tutoring Bella. I grabbed my things from the counter and headed out the door, this time not getting coffee from Aggie’s like I usually did. When Caspian answered the door, he was on a work call and smiled at me, nodding toward the back of the house. It was probably better that way since we couldn’t talk about everything in front of Bella anyway.

When I walked around the corner in the office, Bella’s face lit up, and she came running toward me, almost knocking me over. She was always happy to see me, but this was definitely over the top. She clung tightly to my leg until I squatted down and gave her a hug.

“I’m happy to see you, too,” I said, chuckling. “Did you forget I was coming today?”

“I didn’t know if you would come back because of the fight you had with Daddy,” she whispered.

“I would never leave without saying goodbye,” I said, squeezing her nose.

“I really like having you around,” she said. “You make me and my daddy smile. I hope the two of you never fight again.”

“Me too,” I said, hugging her again.

I held her tightly against me, tears burning at the corners of my eyes knowing this girl lost her mother in the accident. She may not have remembered her, but I knew that it would be hard on her when she got older. The fact that she thought so much of me really touched me. She was so sweet, and I loved the cute little conversations we had on a daily basis. I now understood why Bella had such a strong personality that resembled her father’s perfectly. He was the only parent she had left, and he had raised her alone the last two years.

“Are you ready to try those numbers I gave you to practice?”

“Yep,” she said, clearing her throat and standing up tall.

She then proceeded to count from one to thirty with only one hesitation, causing my mouth to drop completely open. Bella had now managed to completely finish all the prerequisite knowledge that first graders in her school must know to pass to that grade. I had only been working with her for a month, I couldn’t even imagine where she would have been if I had started earlier. This girl definitely had a bright future ahead of her.

“Sweetie,” I said, putting my arms out. “That was so amazing! Have you showed your daddy?”

“I did,” she said proudly. “I counted to him right before you got here. He was really surprised.”

“You are an extremely smart young lady,” I said, smiling. “How about we take that, and we work on your writing and reading today?”

“Okay,” she said excitedly, running over to the table and pulling up her chair.

“You practice writing your name and then the words on this list,” I said, handing her the papers and pencil. “I’m going to use the restroom.”

I smiled as I walked out of the room, turning to walk down the hallway. As I passed the row of pictures on the wall, I stopped and looked at the ones of Isabella holding her daughter. The knowledge I had now gave me a completely different perspective on the photo than I had before. My questions were answered, and I knew this woman must have been amazing, especially if Caspian loved her so much. I kind of wondered if I could live up to all of what she was. I shook the thought from my head, realizing that was something that I would never need to worry about, and I almost felt guilty just thinking about it.

The rest of the afternoon went off without a hitch, with Bella doing everything perfectly as always. I loved working with this little girl, and I tried not to think about the fact that she was getting close to orientations and pre-kindergarten daycare that the school did to prepare their students for the school schedule. The prep school was a bit different than normal schools, and they did everything they could to prepare incoming kids for the rigorous schedule that started even in kindergarten. I knew that Bella was going to be fine. When the day was over, she went to the playroom, and I went into the kitchen to collect my things.

“How did it go?” Caspian asked.

“Great as always,” I said, smiling at Caspian. “She is going to kill it at her new school.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to stay for dinner?” he asked with anxiousness in his voice. “My mom is coming over, and we would all love to have you with us tonight.”

“I would love to,” I said, putting my things back down. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing,” he said excitedly. “Just relax. My mom should be here any minute. I’m cooking for you guys tonight.”

“I like the sound of that,” I said with a laugh.

I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, heading out on the deck to take in the ocean until Betty got there. I knew that she would be pleased to see that we had worked through some things, and now that I knew what happened to his wife, I was glad that he told me and not Betty. The information was very sacred to him, and the fact that he gave that to me was so touching and heartfelt. It really showed me that he wanted more from us than just fuck buddies.

Around an hour later, Betty came over, telling me not to get up and joining me with a glass of wine. She stretched for a long time, groaning as she propped her loafered feet up on the footrest in front of us. She took a sip of her wine and smiled, looking over at me.

“It’s good to see you here,” she said.

I looked over my shoulder to see if Caspian and Bella were anywhere near. Betty had closed the door to the house, but I could see Caspian cooking dinner, and Bella was standing behind him handing him different vegetables as he cooked. I couldn’t help but smile watching her help her daddy with the dinner. She was the most adorable little girl I had ever seen. I turned back toward the ocean and sipped at my beer.

“It’s really good to still be here,” I said. “Caspian took me to the surf shop and told me what happened to Isabella. It was shocking and heartbreaking, and I really hope that knowing this now can help me help him. He is such an amazing person, and I could feel a weight lift from his shoulders.”

“I knew that you were going to be good for this house the first time I met you,” she said. “I am so glad that the three of you met. I have to admit, I have been worried about him for a long time. I thought that a year after Isabella’s death, he would start pulling himself out of the funk, but when the two-year mark passed, and he was still in the same place, I was starting to think he wouldn’t bring himself out of it. I knew that he just needed to find someone to confide in, to let go of some of that pain to her.”

Just knowing that she felt that I was able to help him move forward made me feel really good. I cared so much for Caspian, and if I could help him live a fuller and happier life, then everything we had gone through had been worth it. I cared for both of them, and I wanted to be part of their lives for a long time, but I knew that the difficult time between us was not necessarily through. Caspian had told me what happened, but now, I was going to have to push him forward, try to get him to let go of the guilt that he had in his heart.

“Dinner’s ready,” Caspian said, poking his head outside.

“Wonderful,” Betty said, taking me by the hand and pulling me up out of the chair.

During dinner, we laughed and talked like we had so many times before. Bella looked so happy to have all of us back at the same table again, and she wasn’t the only one. Every time I glanced up at Caspian, he was looking at me with a smile on his face. My cheeks blushed, and I looked away, trying to get the thought of him off my mind. I knew that I couldn’t stay the night that night, not with it being a tutoring night for Bella, and not with us just patching things up, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to.

I tried to concentrate on the conversation, attempting to keep my mind off of our hot sex, but it was really difficult, so I drank wine instead. When dessert was done, Bella was nearly falling asleep at the table, and I wasn’t too far behind her. I watched Betty get up and kiss Bella on the cheek, stretching her arms over her head.

“Alright kids, it’s my time to head out,” she said.

“Me too,” I said. “I have to be up early.”

“Mom, would you wait just a sec and let me walk Lacey to the car?” Caspian asked.

“Sure, sweetie,” she said, kissing Caspian on the cheek.

I gathered my things and walked toward the door, Caspian close behind. I walked out to the car and turned around, my cheeks hot with anticipation. Before I could say anything, Caspian had grabbed me and pressed his lips hard against me. I leaned in and closed my eyes, whimpering as he finished and pulled away, almost pulling me over with him. He smiled and nodded at me, turning and walking back into the house. I leaned back against the car and smiled, realizing that I was in trouble, completely in trouble with this man. I had it really bad, and I wasn’t sorry about it at all.