I could hear the sound of the waves and the squawking of the seagulls before I even opened my eyes. The smell of Caspian’s cologne rang through my nose, reminding me where I was waking up. The night before had been like a dream, making love under the stars on the beach, him carrying me back to the Jeep and then putting me to bed. The sex between us was passionate and raw, and I could barely help myself from getting hot all over again. He had taken me to new heights, once again, and left me completely exhausted. I had curled up in his arms, feeling safer and more comfortable than I ever had with anyone my entire life.

My eyes opened, and I turned over, laying my hand on Caspian’s chest and gently stroking his skin. He groaned softly and took in a deep breath, opening his eyes and smiling as he pulled his arm up over my shoulder. I smiled back, not knowing what to say, but happy that I was still with him.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered.

“Morning, you,” I said, smiling. “I don’t think I have slept that good my entire life.”

“Me too,” he said. “I like having you here in my bed.”

“I could stay here all day, wrapped up in your arms,” I said, stretching. “But you have a little girl to pick up soon.”

“I do,” he said with a smile. “And breakfast to make us.”

“I’m starving,” I said, laughing. “I worked off all that food last night on the beach.”

“I could go for a little more exercise,” he said, rolling over and kissing my neck.

“Oh, me too.” I giggled. “But we can’t. We have things to do, and people waiting on us. Well, people waiting on you. I personally have a giant bathtub at my house waiting to calm my muscles.”

“Alright,” he said, collapsing onto my chest and pouting. “I guess we shall get up.”

He got up out of the bed and walked over to his dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of plaid boxers. He tossed them over to me and winked, knowing I was not looking forward to putting that dress and heels back on. I pulled the shirt on, that fit me like a dress, and the boxers up. I looked like a Joe Boxer ad from the nineties, and my hair was all over the place.

“Wow.” I laughed, looking in the mirror. “I’m sorry for the craziness going on over here.”

“I think you look sexy,” he whispered in my ear before slapping my ass and walking out of the bedroom. “Eggs and bacon sound good?”

I hurried behind him into the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar, feeling the pain in my thighs from the night before.

“Sounds amazing,” I said.

I sat there watching him as he cooked, feeling like I needed to say something. I knew there would be no perfect timing for this kind of thing, but I didn’t want to wait for too long. I was hoping that since he had opened up to me, and since we had grown closer, I could approach him about surfing, and he would respond positively. Still, my nerves were going crazy, and I didn’t want to ruin the time we had just had. Betty told me to keep pushing, maybe not in so many words, but I knew that to help him, to help us grow, we had to keep moving forward.

“So, I was thinking, since it’s a beautiful day and Bella is at your mom’s, maybe you could take me out to the water and teach me how to surf,” I said, looking down at the counter.

My eyes moved up to where he was stirring the eggs. His hand slowed down, but he didn’t turn around. He just stood there silently. I shifted in my chair, wanting to take it back, but knowing it was too late.

“No,” he said, pausing and then going back to stirring the eggs.

“Why?” I was already invested.

He sighed heavily and pulled the eggs off the stove. He stood there for a second with his hands on the counter, tapping his fingers. I wasn’t sure if he was angry or upset. He turned around and walked over to me, cupping my face in his hands.

“I’m not comfortable with it because I care about you,” he whispered. “You don’t know how it is out there. Anything can happen, especially since you have never done this before. The ocean has a mind of its own, and it rules anything that is in it.”

“Baby,” I said, sighing. “I understand your fears, but I checked. The tide is super low, and it’s probably the safest it can be out there. How else am I supposed to learn?”

“It’s a bad idea,” he said, dropping my face and walking back over to the stove.

“What about the school?” I asked. “It’s important to you. It’s important to other people. There are plenty of people who need your instruction to learn how to surf. They are looking for a way to be safe, and if you don’t teach them, they’ll just try it out on their own. I don’t even surf, and I know trying to teach yourself can get you hurt. Those people could be safe if you teach them how to do it, and you would have your business back.”

“Those people,” he said, slamming his plate on the table. “Those people should know better, and if they go out there like idiots and they get themselves hurt or killed, it is not on me.”

“That’s a ridiculous and screwed up way to think about it,” I said with irritation.

“No, Lacey, you’re the one being ridiculous,” he said, turning off the stove. “You just can’t get it through your head. I’m not going to surf. I told you about my life because you wanted to know, but I didn’t invite you, or my mother for that matter, in to become my damn therapists. You want to learn how to surf? Go to the pier and ask one of the surfers. I’m sure they will be more than happy to teach you.”

I sat there looking at him for several moments, no longer worried about what he would say. I was pissed that he was being that way, that he had the audacity to talk to me that way. I wasn’t trying to be his therapist or his friend for that matter. I was trying to get him to do what he should be forcing himself to do. I pushed back from the counter and walked into the bedroom, collecting my things. When I came out, he was standing in the same place as when I had walked away. I stood there for a second wanting to say something back, to fight him on what he had said, but nothing came to me.

“Bella only has three days left before she goes to school,” I said quietly. “I’ll be back on Monday to tutor her.”

He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again and looked back down at the floor. Not only was he ridiculous, but he was being a coward as well. I shook my head and walked out the front door, slamming it behind me. So much for the best date of my life. It had ended in complete disaster. I might be hurt over it, but at that moment, I was just completely pissed. If he wanted to be stubborn, then I would let him do so. I couldn’t stop him, and it was obvious he didn’t want me to be there for him, helping him through this transition.

I started my car and left, driving toward my house. When I got there, though, I kept going, needing to clear my head and think about everything. I drove all the way to the last lookout point before the road turned away from the ocean. I parked the car and got out, walking out onto the pier and leaning over the railing. The water was calm, and the sun was shining brightly that day, and the air was so clear that you could see the ships way out away from the harbor. I replayed our conversation over in my head on repeat. Finally, when I had enough, I slammed my fists on the railing of the pier, feeling my eyes burning with tears. I threw my head back and took a deep breath, refusing to let the emotion get the best of me.

I had thought everything was going so perfectly, and now, this had happened. God, why did everything have to be so damn difficult all the time? I understood why he was acting the way he was, but that didn’t mean it was okay. At some point, he was going to have to move forward, and I wanted it to be when he was with me, not once I had walked away or he had pushed me out of his life completely. Bella needed him to get better, too. She needed his strength as she grew older.

After about an hour, I went back to the car and drove to my house, throwing my stuff down and jumping in the shower. When I got done, I curled up on the couch with a blanket and listened to the waves on the shore. I felt alone, and I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I knew that Jessa would be out. I picked up the phone and dialed my mom.

“Hey, honey,” she said, answering the phone.

“Hi, mom,” I replied.

“How is Maine?”

“Beautiful as always,” I said. “What are you doing?”

“I’m at a dinner party, but I stepped outside,” she said. “You okay?”

“No,” I said. “I was hoping you would be able to—”

“Honey, honey, I can’t really hear you,” she said, masking the fact that she was also talking to someone else. “I’m glad you are doing so good. Thanks for calling. I’ll give you a call later.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Okay, right.”

With that, she hung up the phone. I pulled the phone from my ear and stared down at it, rolling my eyes. Why did I think this time, one of the million I’ve tried to call my mother, would be any different than the others? I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just come to terms with the fact that I was alone to deal with these things on my own.

I tossed my phone on the table and flipped on the television, wanting something to just numb my mind. I flipped through the channels until I reached an old black and white movie. Things always seemed so simple in these movies. They loved each other, the man was scared, and the woman was strong but feminine. It always ended in some amazing kiss, one that just blew people’s minds. The kind of kiss that just never happened anymore. I laid there staring at the television, wondering if I would ever find that with Caspian, a place where he was free, and I was free, and we could just kiss. I just wanted simple. It wasn’t that difficult.

As the movie played on, I could feel myself starting to fall asleep, and I just let it come, hoping maybe I would have another one of those dreams. But there was nothing but sleep, no dreams, no release, and no relief. Maybe that was what I needed, just a quiet night’s sleep to think everything over and start fresh when the weekend was over. The only thing I really knew was that I wasn’t done with Caspian, and I wanted to find a way to get through to him.